New Year’s Resolutions can be tough! It’s hard to imagine the version of ourselves that we haven’t met yet. What kind of bullshit and trauma will the new year bring us? How can we possibly decide who we want to be or what we want to do if we don’t have a crystal ball showing us what’s to come? Well, we can’t. New Year’s Resolutions are all about aspiring to something… or in this case… someone. While the future can feel scary and unsure, we can always fall back on a universal truth: We all want to be Shane McCutcheon. So, I’ve put together a list of New Year’s Resolutions you can steal for 2025 that are really just things Shane has done or been in the original The L Word.
Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for any broken hearts, shattered friendships, incomplete weddings, or sexual discoveries that may occur as a result of using these resolutions.
In 2025, I will wear more leather vests as shirts.
In 2025, I will have more pool sex.
In 2025, I will have an affair with an older married woman.
In 2025, I will quit my job.
In 2025, I will propose to my girlfriend.
In 2025, I will be my own boss.
In 2025, I will land a huge underwear modeling contract.
In 2025, I will fall in love with a woman at a PTA meeting.
In 2025, I will be a really good older sibling.
In 2025, I will always be the hottest and the sluttiest person in the room.
In 2025, I will attract, not chase.
In 2025, I will resist any external pressure to adopt they/them pronouns just because I look androgynous.
In 2025, I will help closeted women realize they’re queer.
In 2025, I will prove that misfits deserve love and compassion.
In 2025, I will confront the trauma that exists outside of my queerness.
In 2025, I will date and fuck beautiful bisexual women.
In 2025, I will stop trying to be in monogamous relationships.
In 2025, I will pull off some of the ugliest outfits simply because I am hot.
In 2025, I will be a good and loyal friend.
In 2025, I will ooze sex appeal.
In 2025, I will be a complete, complex individual who is not defined by their looks.
In 2025, I will actively work on being a better person (for myself).
In 2025, I will become independently wealthy.
In 2025, I will teach at least one woman how to eat pussy.
In 2025, I will not become my father.
Comments
I’d take out have an affair with a married woman. That’s only funny if you haven’t been the betrayed one in the marriage. Then it’s not really something to aspire to. Just a thought. Otherwise, HNY!
Don’t worry, this is a comedy piece! None of them are meant to be taken seriously. It’s just a list of things Shane has done.
– someone dating a woman whose spouse had an affair
Ermmmm, I know it’s a comedy piece. I just don’t find it funny because I was cheated on by my now ex-wife who had an affair with a younger woman. What a god-awful clueless response you’ve just made. Christ, it sounds like an excuse my teenage son with his still-developing brain would make. Real mature.
I think maybe you misread my tone, I didn’t mean to be dismissive, just meant to say I have empathy for that situation (my girlfriend experienced the same thing and it was deeply traumatic) and would never imply that it’s acceptable behavior. When I say it’s just a comedic piece, what I mean is I’m not seriously endorsing it, and it is referencing a fictional situation in which the hot older married woman was married to a really bad guy! There’s also a jab in here about they/them pronouns, which are pronouns that I myself use. There’s also mention of quitting a job, which I did once and it financially ruined me. Another line is about not becoming your father, but I love my father and hope to be just like him! These are not meant to resonate with everyone or really anyone. That’s what I mean when I say it’s a comedy piece.
A huge part of Shane’s character is her draw towards self-destruction and ethical gray areas, and a lot of what she does (a lot of what L Word characters do in general) is objectively bad for a whole range of reasons. I also don’t think parents/guardians should fall in love with teachers at PTA meetings!
I’m sorry it struck a nerve, that wasn’t my intention. Hope we can all be friends and not take intentional jabs at each other. Happy New Year.
Ok, not sure we see eye-to-eye on this one but I appreciate you taking the time to explain your take. Thank you. Over and out on this particular matter ☺️.
Who was the bi chick Shane banged
Canonically, Shane has slept with over 1,000 women. So, statistically, many are going to be bisexual. But specifically to what we see throughout the series, ex-gf Paige’s sexuality is fluid.
Ha, I forgot about the underwear modeling… What an incredible arc this series gave our Shane.