Laura M, 30, Staff Writer
Method: I use a Diva cup paired with period panties: Thinx for heavy days, Dear Kate for light days. I also have reusable cloth pads that I’ll add if I’m going to be stuck on a plane or something like that.
Pain Management: I usually don’t get cramps, but I hug a cup of tea to my belly sometimes and that feels good.
Ritual: I wouldn’t call this a ritual, necessarily, but I’m a big fan of period sex.
Personally: I have an easy period! The only time it has ever been a problem is right after I got my IUD; for 3-4 months, I had spotting and cramps felt like a tiny, vicious beast was trying to claw its way out of me. It was awful. And then, suddenly, the scar tissue settled down or whatever, and everything was fine again!
Hot Tips: Has everyone heard of SoftCups? They’re kind of like diaphragms, but to stop period blood from getting out. I never had much luck with them for daily use (they’re tricky to put in and seem more prone to leaking), but the point is that it allows you to have penetrative sex with no mess. For that purpose, it works great, would recommend! Alternatively, put down a soft, absorbent black towel, get comfortable with a little bit of mess, and live your best life.
Stef, 33, Vapid Fluff Editor
First Time: I think I was 12 or 13 years old. My mom wasn’t home, I saw spotting on underwear and I did not under any circumstances want to ask my dad if he thought what had just happened was my period. After my mom confirmed and set me up with a box of huge, bulky winged pads, I called my two only actual friends and breathlessly reported the news like I was in a Judy Blume novel, expecting them to be just as excited. They both were kinda like, “oh, I got mine a year ago.”
Method: My mom has some Very Particular views on womanhood so I was a pad person until just after college, when I made the switch to tampons. I would like to try a menstrual cup someday but am still scared to take the plunge.
Pain Management: I have a Paragard IUD so my period is a lot more intense than it used to be — think Ginger in Ginger Snaps, like maybe I’m turning into a werewolf. There is nothing that will help. You just have to breathe through it, dude.
Ritual: I don’t really have any rituals, but I’ve gotten better at predicting my moods around my cycle. Generally right before I’m about to bleed, I want to either bone everything that moves or cry myself to sleep with no real grey area in between. I try to temper this with alone time and occasional chocolate, which is very Cathy cartoon of me but I do not care.
Personally: Like I said, the Paragard makes my period a bit more intense than it already was, although I am on my second Paragard now and it seems a little easier.. On my first one, I got cramps when I ovulated (a fun bonus!), and this one doesn’t seem to do that. Part of me hates that my already kind of terrible period is made worse, and part of me is morbidly fascinated.
KaeLyn, 34, Staff Writer
First Time: I was 12. It was the summer between 5th and 6th grade, so literally the transition between elementary school (childhood) and middle school (pubertyville). I was so fucking thrilled. I’d had fairly decent sex ed in 5th grade where we learned about menstruation and I’d been obsessed with bleeding ever since. I told my mom and dad, both, triumphantly! My mom got me one of those pamphlet kits that pad companies used to make before the internet existed about “your changing body” or whatever. I studied that pamphlet like it was a fucking holy text.
Method: Diva Cup, Size 2 or Tampax bleachy tampons if I lose or ruin my Diva Cup which happens more than I’d like to admit. (Do not boil your cup and then forget it’s on the stove—kaboom!)
Pain Management: Usually just water, low-breath moaning, and caffeine, though I’m not opposed to popping PMS pills if I need them. My period challenge is the explosive shits I get on day one and and day two more than the cramps.
Ritual: I am pretty grounded about all things body-ody, in that I don’t experience a particular warm fuzziness or negativity about my period and I don’t have any rituals around bleeding. It’s just something my body does. I do enjoy paying attention to the consistency of my cervical mucous and blood consistency so I can predict my cycle.
Personally: I used to hate my period but not for any particular reason other than that I’d been made to feel “dirty” and “unclean” for having a period which is 100% patriarchal bullshit. A period stain on your pants was a stain of shame. In college, I read Cunt by Inga Muscio, which was a mixed bag for me. I mean, there was a lot of problematic shit in there and some stuff that was too “out there” for me even in 2001, but it did change my frame of reference for appreciating my body. I don’t love my period. I don’t loathe it. I think I just live in a place of, “Oh, that’s fine,” with my body, especially after my body made a baby. I try to appreciate all the fucking great things my body does for me while tamping down negative self-talk as much as possible. One cool thing that has improved my period feelings is that my postpartum period is much shorter and lighter than before! Bonus!
Hot Tip: If you want to track your period, like with data and charts and analyzing your cervical mucous and stuff, I’d highly suggest getting a period tracker app. I recommend Clue (best for just period tracking) or Kindara (best for fertility tracking). Both are relatively non-pink/cutesy/feminizing which is important since MCalc became no-longer-a-thing.
Alexis, 23, Staff Writer
First Time: I was in seventh grade and it happened during the school day (I didn’t know it until I got to my grandparents’ house after school) and I vaguely remember being in Enrichment, asking to go to the bathroom, throwing up my Frosted Flakes, mourning the loss of my favorite cereal, and instantly feeling so much better and hoping this sudden change in wellness meant I was getting my superpowers soon. As I got to my grandma’s and told my sister “Come here!” because of what I found in my underwear, my grandma told me, “Don’t worry about her, she’s just scared.” And I wanted to tell her I wasn’t, but we just don’t negate those kinds of things.
Method: Disposable pads though I mean to try reusable pads but never remember til I get my period and I honestly don’t give a shit by then.
Pain Management: Advil, sometimes walking/pacing, but usually cursing helps.
Ritual: I don’t have any rituals or traditions cause I’m still terrified that this happens to me every month and that it had the audacity to once happen for three months straight.
Personally: My history with self-harm influences my feelings about my cycle. Like, I usually feel really destructive right before my period but I always think that there’s no way it can be my period cause I just had it and some not good shit is about to go down but then my period comes and that feeling vanishes cause it turns out I wasn’t losing my mind. I don’t hate my period but I’m not a huge fan of it, it always feels like a waste to me cause I don’t want to have kids and I feel like this should be some opportunity given to someone who does. And growing up, it helped because I could always push off my feelings on my period coming as explanation to my family, but now, it just feels like using that is more invalidating than protecting.
Hot Tip: I just found out about Pyramid Seven and am about to try them out but the Instagram alone makes me happy. Also, it’s not specifically about it, but I really liked reading Gabby Rivera’s Juliet Takes A Breath cause it made me consider my period as like something to honor instead of dread and that was a breath of fresh air.
Molly, 31, staff writer
First Time: I was 12 when I first got my period; it was seventh grade and I was sitting in the gym watching the boys play a basketball game after school and suddenly realized something was up. I was just thrilled to keep up with my friends; I was a bit of a late-bloomer.
Method: I use tampons.
Pain Management: At least four ibuprofen to start, and then smoke a bowl at the end of the day.
Ritual: My ritual is being surprised every goddamn time I start feeling moody or down about myself the week before the flow hits. Then I’m like, growl growl why growl growl, then have one INCREDIBLE day wherein I have all sorts of energy and good ideas and feel hot, THEN it hits. I don’t know why.
Personally: Growing up I wished I was a boy, because how did all the girls in Red Dawn deal with their periods? I just thought about it as another shitty aspect of womanhood that I had to worry about that the boys didn’t have to. Surprise I still think of it that way most times.
Hot Tip: Honestly, I haven’t ever really turned to media to deal with my period. It’s just been a fact of life I try to ignore when I have and forget about completely when I don’t.
Heather, 38, Senior Editor
First Time: I was 14 the first time I got my period. I knew it was inevitable; all my friends already had their periods — but I was not excited to join that particular sisterhood. Firstly because I played sports all the time and spent every day of the spring and summer in the pool and so it was a nuisance. Secondly because my mom was always telling everyone any bit of my personal business she knew — like when I got my first Bugaboo bra from Belk — and I was not looking forward to having everyone in my family and church giving me knowing looks.
Method: I use disposable pads, Always ones. I especially like the way the box is designed now. The way the packaging opens, the box looks like it’s making a face that’s just as annoyed as I am to be on my period.
Pain Management: Nothing relieves my cramps. They’re excruciating. It’s my uterus, my hips, my upper abdomen, my butt, all of my middle body really. Nausea, too. Constant, relentless nausea. Eating is basically out of the question, which is extra fun because I bleed very heavily and am anemic because of it. (Thanks, endometriosis!) I take Advil, baths, and as many naps as I can while wrapped up in heating pads.
Ritual: I do as much work as possible in the days leading up to my period so I can lie in bed and pray to Antiope to make the days pass faster when I’m on my period. And I take iron supplements and vitamin C to help the iron supplements absorb into my blood stream better.
Personally: I have always hated my period because of how weird the adults in my life acted about it when I was a teenager, and now that I’m an adult with endometriosis, the memories of that weirdness plus my physical agony just make me hate it even worse. If I could change any one thing about my life it would be how much endometriosis has messed up my body, and there’s no reminder as hateful as my monthly bleeding.
Read Heather’s essay for an update on her endometriosis.
Raquel, 28, Staff Writer
First Time: The first time I bled was during my 7th grade English final. I completely sat in serious discomfort and spent the rest of the day crying in the nurse’s room.
Method: I mostly use tampons, though it took me years to do that because my strict Christian upbringing meant they were discouraged. Most of my early menstruating life, I used big, awful, bulky pads with unwieldy wings that I’d steal from my mom’s bathroom. Now, I usually use a combo of a light tampon and some Thinx.
Pain Management: I pop all the ibuprofen that feels medically advisable and heat up a bed-buddy warmer for to hug. If it’s really bad, I’ve found writhing in bed and moaning helps.
Rituals: You know, I don’t really do any rituals—in part because my period is so erratic, and has taken months off before (don’t ask me why). But reading Gabby Rivera’s amazing Juliet Takes a Breath and the lovely wu-wu ritual her character goes through at the urging of her queer mentor really makes me want to make one. My first thought is candles and a bathtub.
Personally: One of the things I hate the very most is that very often, I’ll feel very overwhelmed and sad and, sometimes, go into a depressive cycle and then two days later get my period. The stereotype that women are unruly or emotionally “too much” when on their periods is one of my least favorite things, and yet I’m still at the mercy of my hormones and my cycle. What gives! As it’s irregular, I often ruin panties and have occasionally had an embarrassing spill in someone else’s bed. I’d like to start approaching it more positively, as a celebration of a thing that my body can do, but that’s hard to do when you’re cranky as hell, your muscles are tired, and it seems your uterine lining is trying to strangle its way out of your body.
Hot Tip: In college, I did a research project on the history of the tampon as an object. In searching out info, I came upon a really fantastic (and hideously un-designed) website called the Museum of Menstruation. It’s definitely worth looking through, not to learn some stuff and find something kooky, but also, if you’re into it, to have a fun place to focus your rage.
On a more fun level, this really cool graphic designer/illustrator Soofiya (featured on Autostraddle here!) put together an awesome intersectional zine about periods that I highly recommend looking at. Their whole etsy has lots of fun period-related crafty things, as well!
Neesha, 30, Staff Writer
First Time: I’d had some bloody discharge before, but the first time I had a full menstrual cycle was at age 11 during the summer before sixth grade. It was heavy, painful, and dreadful. After an emotionally draining night at the skating rink during that cycle, I knew that my period would cause problems for years to come.
Method: It’s been a long road figuring out how to make my period bearable. After years of debilitating periods, I got a hormonal IUD last December to ease the excessive monthly bleeding and cramping I experienced. So far, so good: I no longer have to cancel plans because of Shark Week. My periods have gotten lighter, less painful, and may eventually go away completely. I use a DivaCup (I just ordered a new one for folks age 30 and up) and a pantyliner in case of spillage. Sometimes, I wear cloth pads at night. This is a vast improvement over having to wear both a tampon and disposable pad at the same time and having embarrassing accidents because of my heavy flow.
Pain Management: My cramps have eased since getting an IUD. I’ve been taking Naproxen lately for cramping, and I enjoy doing deep stretches as well. I live in Seattle, so of course my periods are 420-friendly. I also try to have more orgasms!
Ritual: I try to not drink alcohol or eat sweets, which is hard for me because I’m a candy fiend. I allow myself to rest, and I drink lots of tea and water.
Personally: My period’s been a pain in the ass most of my life. I’ve often felt like I would be better off without it. Now that my period’s more manageable, I can appreciate how miraculous of a bodily function it is. I’m a non-binary babe with the power to bring life into the world — hear me roar! I’ve never particularly wanted kids, but as a married gal, it’s good to know that it’s an option for me to have biological children. If I have children (biological or not) who menstruate, I want to destigmatize periods for them and celebrate them getting their period as a milestone that they should be proud of.
Hot Tip: The Diva Cup is a great option for bleeders who are unafraid of sticking things up their va-jay-jay, and it comes in different sizes. Also, Period Tracker is a good app for keeping tabs on your period.
Yvonne, 26, Senior Editor
First Time: I was 11 and it was the summer between 5th and 6th grades. My parents, my little brother and I went to the flea market to sell our old junk and old clothes. I was there to help my parents move things off the truck and generally hustle to sell our things. I grew up in South Texas so it’s fucking hot and humid and I’m bending down and moving around when all of sudden I feel weird. I go to the really gross portable restroom and that’s when I found out I was on my period. I knew what a period was and I told my mom and she didn’t have a pad on her. We couldn’t just leave when we had just gotten there so I had to endure a hot sticky day while bleeding on a piece of toilet paper. I was miserable and I spent the whole day sulking and trying not to move.
Method: I use disposable pads. Tampons hurt me so I haven’t even bothered with a menstrual cup. I should really try reusable pads since I work from home but my mom and grandma send me disposable pads in care packages all the time that I’m always stocked.
Pain Management: My period usually lasts four days and on one of those days I have horrible cramps that last for at least an hour. You would think that it would happen on the first two days but it’s really random when it happens. At the peak of the pain, I take some ibuprofen. If they’re mild cramps, I drink chamomile tea. I get worse cramps if I drink coffee so I avoid it.
Ritual: My lower back and hips feel achy when I’m on my period so I always make time to do some hip-opening stretches. Even though I don’t feel like it at all, I try really hard to work out because my brain feels 100 percent better after I do. I get really groggy and can’t think clearly when I’m on my period so working out usually does the trick. I make sure I eat some meat when I’m on my period because I swear every time I eat like steak tacos I come back to life and feel like I can think again. It makes me feel like Jennifer from Jennifer’s Body when that happens.
Personally: I generally don’t like my period; I just want to get it over with. I complain when I’m on it but I’m relieved and rejoice when it’s over because it means in the following days I will be super horny and will have great sex.
