Weird Shit People Ask Me at This Dumb Restaurant Job

phoenix —
Nov 24, 2011
COMMENT

1. Is this a restaurant?

2. What do you have here that’s free?

3. Does the vegan quesadilla have meat?

4. Can I get a cocktail…but with the alcohol on the side?

5. Can I get an extra side of Guacamala?

6. So, the bacon/cheddar burger…cheddar, like, cheese?

7. Is the basil tofu free range?

8. How is your chicken poonani?

9. What is your favorite hot poonani?

10. So the side of fries, can we get that, but instead of fries, can we get cottage cheese?

11. Can you tell me who this gentleman is? [pointing to picture of Gandhi on our menu]

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12. Shut up, Vanessa, I don’t need your help anymore.

13. Why are you crying?

14. Where am I supposed to put my baby?

15. Will you hold our table while we go smoke a blunt?

16. DOES LANGSTON HUGHES STILL WORK HERE?

nope
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phoenix

phoenix has written 64 articles for us.

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