Yesterday we had a brilliant idea to construct a Christmas Nostalgia Post detailing some of the best Christmas/Hannukah gifts we’ve ever received in the history of our lives.
The responses garnered from our Contributing Editors in a reply-all email were not, exactly, what we had in mind, nor did they conform to our specific instructions.
These are those responses:
1. Keurig Coffee Maker
2. “The Lion King”
3. Easy Bake Oven
4. Batteries
5. Used, tag-less shopping bag from the ’80s wrapped in an empty used candy box wrapped in trash
6. Bulk box of eight bars of wholesale lavendar soap
7. A single pencil
8. 23 pounds of paper
9. Neon orange slide
10. Half-eaten candy cane
11. Snoopy Sno-Cone maker
12. Necklace bearing a giant sticker reading: “WARNING: This product contains a chemical known to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. WASH HANDS AFTER HANDLING”
13. Freezer mold to make my own liquor luge
14. Sweat-band
15. Popples (“that was a pretty good year”)
16. Birthday card with a cat on it
17. Box of cereal (“unironically”)
18. Plastic food w/plastic refrigerator
19. Miniature Spanish-English Dictionary
20. Hee-Haw Themed overalls (brother received a matching pair)
21. Cactus
22. “Baby Talk” doll
23. A handful of unwrapped toe socks
24. “Strawberry Shortcake Very Happy Home”
25. Life-sized doll constructed to look exactly like me (my height, hair color, eyes etc)
