Let’s Bring Back Top Eight: More Internet Haikus

how’d i just notice
meme is made up of “me me”
really makes you think

the “reed”/”read” debate
is the only proof you need
to doubt everyone

gonna be something
to retweet @realPOTUS
everything is fine

does he get to keep
@realDonaldTrump or no
is it up for grabs

teach your children well
tell them, “hoard twitter handles”
and sell them for cash

a fun game to play
is who’s the least dateable
based on wifi name

like to imagine
meryl’s scrolling the timeline
readers halfway down

at least ten percent
of marriage in modern time
is for the hashtag

in the afterlife
what you have to answer for
is burner accounts

let’s bring back top eight
the thrill of being left out
made you much stronger

also, tom is real
not a bot, but a person
what else don’t i know

manual refresh
a telling character flaw
and one i possess

*thesaurus.com*
*enters in ’emboldened’*
*email blasts results*

the ultimate own
describing an article
as a person’s blog

ice bucket challenge
where we’ll look back realize
we had lost our minds

how’s it possible
craigslist’s aesthetic still screams
floppy disk start up

just think about it
if not for the internet
we’d never have GOOP

deep down tho gwen knows
that if princess di still lived
GOOP couldn’t exist

i admire gmail
for making gchats “hangouts”
it’s bold to be wrong

what’s the german word
for hearing your text alert
as someone’s app noise

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Erin

Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.

9 Comments

  3. these haikus have made my day on several occasions so far. definitely cheered me up today – thanks!

  4. I mean I would get married for wedding hashtag purposes if it was even half as good as #EspositoGetsButcher.

  5. “let’s bring back top eight
    the thrill of being left out
    made you much stronger”

    Oh my GOD.

  6. “i admire gmail
    for making gchats “hangouts”
    it’s bold to be wrong”

    HAHAHAHAHA.

    ‘It’s bold to be wrong’ is going to be my new way of shutting down men who have bad opinions near me.

  8. oh my gosh erin
    I’m convinced everything you
    do is perfect wow

    I can’t do the haiku thing but I tried?

Comments are closed.