Elsewhere in this turbulent city, Dani’s Dad has somehow been sprung from prison and is back with the legal team, dealing with the fallout from Bette Porter’s outrage regarding the endowment. I can’t believe it’s 2021 and we’re still fighting about how best to fund the CAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Squabble #30: Endow Me Daddy
In the Ring: Dani vs. Daddy and Legal
Content: “Our intel tells us that Bette is formidable at best and destructive at worst,” says Legal. I think “Intel” is Jodi.
Is Nunez Inc actually still investing in the companies that produced opioids? Because at this point, doing so would be unwise politically and financially. I’m confused!
Dani suggests doubling the endowment and earmarking it for BIPOC artists based in LA. Daddy’s furious at Dani for trying to do too much too soon. Dani’s just trying to bring some honor back to their family name! He insists that this is her fault. She insists that this is his fault. I insist that this is his fault. Dani tells legal that this is why she can’t testify on her father’s behalf because if she takes the stand, she’s gonna tell the truth, and she is pretty sure we don’t wanna know what she really thinks of him! That’s true, I don’t wanna know what she really thinks of him because this story is stupid and I hate it.
Who Wins? Intel
We zoom back to the legendary Launch Party where Alice is fumbling around backstage regarding the truth and whether or not to tell it to Tom at the most inopportune moment in the history of moments. And well folks — she is going for it!
Squabble #31: Didn’t Ask, Shouldn’t Tell
In the Ring: Alice vs. Tom
Tom’s enjoying some appetizers when Alice announces, “Tom, I slept with Nat.” First of all: why now? Second of all: what? Y’all did not discuss your monogamy plan yet, so why is Alice presenting this information like it’s a betrayal when it’s genuinely and entirely not?
Tom: I thought we were doing something.
Alice: We are! It’s like… really confusing, this whole thing.
Tom: What is? What?
Alice: Tom, I have not been in a relationship with a guy since I was in my twenties.
Tom: I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this but — that’s bullshit.
Alice: It’s not!
Tom: The rules should be the same for women as it is for men!
Alice: Yeah okay yeah, that makes sense.
What rules? Did Alice say the rules were different for women and men? What is happening? What are they talking about? Tom laments that this information was disclosed “right before I gotta go onstage in front of a ton of people and tell them how great you are.”
Who Wins? The pillow I just screamed into
Over in the small seats, Finley brings two drinks to her table with Sophie — based on how they drink the drinks, it appears that these are alcoholic beverages. Sophie sits in silent resounding unease while Finley jokes about the boring man at the mike.
Here’s a question: why have Sophie say nothing when Sophie could say something? While it’s possible she might feel too confused to speak up, this is a TV show, so we kinda need dialogue! Maybe Sophie could suggest they do a sober week and Finley could refuse to and that could become a conversation? I’d love to know what about the DUI — obtained on a night they were both wasted — has inspired Sophie to reach a breaking point with Finley, and I think a great place to explore that would be through lines written in a script read out loud by actors.
Meanwhile, backstage, Alice doesn’t want Tom to go on angry, despite angering him prior to him going onstage.
Tom saddles up to the mic and begins with, “I think we all know who Alice is. Or at least who she wants us to think she is.” This is a bluff, don’t worry, he then pulls out a whole list of positive adjectives: honest, caring, wickedly funny, emotional, empathetic and amazing. He should’ve been like “also, a great lay!”
It’s Alice’s big moment to read from her book. First she thanks her friends and collaborators for pushing her to go further and realize that “if I tell my truth, maybe I could help someone out there not feel so lonely in the world. Because if there is something crazy or stupid to do, I have done it.” I have a similar philosophy for my work and my writing!
Everybody get out your onions and a sharp knife, we’re diving into the Dana Fairbanks chapter!
In this two-paragraph chapter, she jumps right from telling Dana that she loved her at the Ton-Ton engagement party to Dana dying in the hospital! Not one word about ravenously removing endless strands of 2006 beads from their tank tops and flare jeans to have chocolate sauce sex on the kitchen floor! Not a page about Melissa Rivers! Not one paragraph devoted to Love Boat role-play! Not one line of dialogue that ends with “cris-pay,” not one yacht dancing scene! I cry involuntarily because I am only human, but lol who wrote this. Bette and Shane are tearing up. What a fun time!
Bette, Shane and Alice rendez-vous backstage for some celebratory hugs and to tell Alice what a great job she did capturing Dana perfectly even though she did not write or read a single word about Dana’s character or personality. But who cares there’s no time and everybody is made of stars!
Everybody heads off to tend to their assorted relationships: Bette will continue robo-calling Pippa, Shane’s gonna jet to Las Vegas to see Tess, and Alice will be locating Tom-Tom and mending the harms enacted by the conversation they recently had.
Over at the Tension Table, Finley and Sophie agree that the reading was great and it would be difficult to lose someone like that. “I love you like that, you know,” Finley tells Sophie. “The way she loved Dana.” Typically I’d adore this line, because it’s been clear for some time that there is a Finley/Sophie Dana/Alice parallel, but alas I am unable to because what is going on here.
Sophie turns to face Finley and you think she’s gonna say “I love you too” but she does not. Instead, she asks “Are you drinking?”
LITERALLY 20 MINUTES AGO FINLEY BROUGHT DRINKS TO THE TABLE FOR FINLEY AND SOPHIE AND THEY BOTH DRANK THEM?!?!?! What is happening?!?!?! IS ANYBODY PAYING ATTENTION ON THIS SET?!! CONTINUITY IS A BEAUTIFUL THING!
Lesbian Squabble #32: Why Do I Feel This Party’s Over?
In the Ring: Sophie vs Finley
Content: We now learn that Finley sees the DUI as just a smidgen of bad luck rather than an opportunity to slow down and think about her life and her choices. Finley’s not “getting behind the wheel” and they took a Lyft here, so Finley’s not sure why drinking is off the table. I’m not sure why they took a Lyft here if both of them weren’t planning to drink! (Finley’s license is likely suspended, but Sophie’s wouldn’tbe.) Wouldn’t they have like… talked about this before they left…
“What are you, the police?” Finley asks.
“I’m your girlfriend,” Sophie answers.
Sophie wants to go home, she doesn’t want to party in the underground bunker. Finley wants to stay and have fun. Sophie looks right into her face, maybe deeper than that. “This isn’t fun for me,” Sophie says, and leaves.
Who Wins? Seltzer and a lime
Here we have another scene that could’ve given us so much more than it did — the choice between going home and staying could be written with more clarity and direction. Sophie could’ve approached Finley with compassion rather than animosity and gently suggested they go home together to canoodle, eat dumplings and marathon Season 3 of Sex Education! This would give Finley some options and her choice would be a revelatory one: 1. Go home with her sweet girlfriend and have a sweet time, 2. Stay here and hang out alone with alcohol.
Maybe what actually happens here is realistic, with Sophie still unsure how to approach this problem she somehow just noticed, but it doesn’t drive the story or the conflict forward.
Over on another softly tilting planet aka FiSoMi’s, Micah’s making a romantic dinner for his doctor friend while discussing the politics of being the only trans person in the workplace.
Their chatty discourse is interrupted by the sudden blare of the fire alarm, which they choose to combat not by turning off the stove or opening a window (or by doing what I would do which is “yank that sucker right out of the wall) but instead by lightly waving a small dishcloth at the device.
Sexual tension simmers as Micah apologizes for ruining the steaks. Fuck the steaks, says Claudia! Micah asks how she feels about quesadillas??? She feels great about quesadillas. So do I!
Bette Porter could not get a soul on the phone so Bette Porter will simply go to the CAC her own self and talk to a man face-to-face. When she arrives, they are literally removing Pippa’s art from the building, and Pippa hides to listen to Bette do something Bette never does: admit she made a mistake.
“I made a mistake,” Bette says to the man. “That is something you will rarely hear me say, but Pippa Pascal, her work means everything to me, do you understand? Everything.”
The man asks what she’d do in his position and she says she’d throw herself right under the bus. He’s welcome to trash her this way to Tuesday but she pleads for him not to rob the world of Pippa’s art! He will see what he can do. Bette sighs just as Pippa emerges from her hiding spot to face her face-to-face.
Bette: I got so wrapped up in what I thought was my legacy, but it was just this legacy of revenge. I wanted to take down everyone who had ever wronged me. Who had ever wronged my family. And you —
Pippa: I definitely understand the appeal of wanting to blow some shit up.
Bette: But under no circumstances is it ok for you to be the collateral damage, and I lost sight of that, and I’m very sorry.
Pippa: I hear that.
Bette: I think I’m better off leaving a legacy of love than destruction. You taught me that.
Bette edges closer to Pippa and leans into her, and Bette holds her with both arms.
Watching this episode I feel like I’m in a high school writing workshop scribbling things in the margins.I’d love a specific detail here! Give us an example of her “legacy of revenge.” This scene could really be amped up with some key details! Consider a proper noun!
We now relocate our attention to Gigi’s office, where she is type-type-typity-typing away at her jobbity job when Dani arrives with a bucket of noodles and a small container of apologies for declining Gigi’s attempt at a post-coital cuddle in order to pursue the parameters of her gainful employment.
“I don’t do well with the whole hot and cold thing,” Gigi says. Dani takes a seat in her office for some straightforward communication about their wants and needs! I’m unclear how Dani is actually able to function and construct not only words but entire sentences and often paragraphs when faced with the absolute stunning perfection of Gigi but ok!
The two lusty ladies share stories about their overbearing fathers — Dani’s got in the way of her love train with Sophie, and Gigi’s did the same with men and also Nat. Their fathers wanted the best for them, they agree, but unlike in the television program “Father Knows Best,” which I have never seen, their fathers did not always take the most productive pathway towards enabling the best to occur.
Dani was embarrassed for Gigi to see her Dad talk to her like that, but, empowered by Gigi’s spirit, which was obviously transferred from Dani’s body into Gigi’s via sexual activities, she stood up to her father today! NOW KISS
Back at FiSoMi’s, Micah and Claudia are engaging in witty banter related to the appearance of their teeth during childhood. “I had a really good time tonight,” says Claudia. Micah agrees. Everybody had a nice time! NOW KISS
AND THEN Micah stops the kiss. He withdraws. He says he cannot do this. Why not? Well, Claudia is about to find out because like so many things done by various characters this week, Micah will be combining “the worst thing I could ever possibly say” with “the worst moment to say it” and “the worst person to say it to.”
Micah: “It’s someone else. You’re great, you are—”
Claudia: “Yeah well, I don’t feel so great.”
Micah: “I just didn’t realize til tonight how I felt about her so —”
Claudia: “Well I’m glad I was able to push you into the arms of someone else.”
GOOD LORD IN SWEET HEAVEN WHAT?!!?!
Micah apologizes and says that’s not what he meant and she storms out of there. This is gonna be real awkward at work!!!!!
