Hello, friends, readers, and business associates.
I’d first like to thank you all for being here. If there’s one thing we know about the internet, it’s that no one’s obligated to read anything they don’t want to unless it’s an article about what it means to be an introvert, and so someone’s click is always a gift of their time.
As some of you may be aware, I’m a person who’s been known to joke online. You could even go as far as saying my entire internet persona is built on things being “a joke” and that I’m incapable of an earnest sentiment lest I completely unravel. How fun. What dedication.
Picking this up at its base would reveal a network of roots. They’d have created their own maze. At their center, a whole lifetime deflected.
What an exhausting existence, you might be thinking, to have the human experience in its infinity capacity for emotion be pumped through the barrel of a slide whistle. And you’d be right. I’m tired.
Which is why in what I think will be a great second act redirect, I’m a serious person now.
From now on, what you can expect from me is the proper allocation of meaningful emotion (regret and sorrow) and matter-of-fact breakdowns of the world’s ills. No longer will humor be used as a baseline for communication. Life is short, and so we should approach it with the gravity it’s owed.
Please update your contacts as necessary.
I’m not April Fooled by this.
I was about to get all tender queer on this but then I was like, oh fuck…..
Here I am going around thinking I would not be fooled today.
Between you and Kayla, you’ve produced some top notch content this morning
ERIN.
I WILL QUIT AUTOSTRADDLE IF YOU QUIT WITH THE YUK YUKS.
AM I APRIL FOOLIN YOU WON’T KNOW TIL YOU TRY.
I’m not yelling at you just emphatic.
I am not fooled by this silliness! And we all love you and humor just the way you are <3
I support your new outlook Erin, I think it’s very honest and raw–proud of u 4 bein’ the best version of you.
You are a true virtuoso.
Congratulations on 100 Autostraddle articles!
Good catch, Ellen!
Say hello to Portia for ke
If this post was real, I’d deffo be feeling personally victimised by it
Ohhh look, it’s the comeback kid
ugh thank god, i always thought you were a bit extra.
I choose to blame Trump for this
started cracking up by the time i read “business associates”
so happy that this is your 100th article. seriousness as resistance! you go girl!
I’m going to forward this to some of my “business associates” in an attempt at rebranding.
You’re an inspiration.
is that allison janney, or does it just look like allison janey?
i google imaged it. it’s not allison janey.
But if it was
stock photography side hustle
I had the SAME question!