I can’t believe we’ve already come to the finale of the UK’s first all-girl reality dating show, I Kissed a Girl, or, as I like to think of it, a battle of attrition between a weary group of TV producers and the lesbian urge to merge.
For ten episodes, our couples were inundated with waves of queer women to tempt them from their matches. There was angst, there was consensual wife-swapping, there was a whole lot of nothing to do except dissect everyone’s relationship and maybe some light weightlifting.
While I loved the first few episodes, I did find the season sagged a little in the middle. By the time the third batch of fresh queers arrived I guess it wasn’t so surprising any more, and you really feel like if they wanted to disrupt the couples that much, they could just ask them to assemble some IKEA furniture together.
Fortunately, things really picked up again towards the end, as the remaining pairings were put through their paces when it came to considering whether they had what it takes to keep things going outside The Masseria. The final “chemistry test” asked everyone increasingly challenging questions around trust, relocating, and, pointedly, whether they were falling in love!
The reason things were amping up? The finale brought the most pressure dilemma of all: Would the couples turn and kiss — this time in front of their families! — to declare their intention to take things further? Bringing the cast’s friends and families over was a great way to inject a bit of reality reality into this TV reality, with them all bringing their own opinions of their loved ones’ matches. Of course, the gay panic cuts both ways when you’re preparing to snog in front of your folks — as Priya gleefully said: “Who’s ready to traumatise our parents?”
There were so many great moments throughout the season, I’ve picked out a few of my faves, many that I feel exemplified the totally lesbian behaviour of the show’s cast, regardless of whether they were gay, bi, queer or otherwise identifying. Let me know in the comments what pairings and predicaments you loved best!
Fiorenza is too late to make a move for Amy
Watching Fiorenza’s smooth maneuvering from girl to girl was a highlight for much of the season: from Demi to Meg, to maybe-wanting-Amy, to Beth, to really-wanting-Amy. That flightiness really came back to bite her when new girl Hannah caught Amy’s attention just as Fiorenza got a grip on her own feelings for Amy.
After Amy’s several rejections, it was no surprise that Hannah’s single-minded pursuit of her really appealed, but the agony on Amy’s face was clear when she realised she was going to have to send her closest friend home in order to give things a go with Hannah.
Unsurprisingly, Fiorenza landed on her feet and reported in the reunion show that she’s now happily in a LTR. Plus — in a total lesbian move — she set up her best friend with the very first girl on the show she kissed (and dumped), Demi!
Amy turns around; Hannah doesn’t
As the couple with the shortest runway for the finale, it was always going to be dicey as to whether Amy and Hannah had the time to work out where they really stood. Their chemistry test was more of an experiment in awkwardness as it was clear they weren’t on the same page about pretty much anything!
However, I suspected that Amy would be well up for continuing their relationship because, well, why not! They basically lived next door to each other in London! Hannah on the other hand was too busy second guessing Amy’s feelings and fearing rejection to really think about what she wanted, and missed the golden opportunity to find out.
Meg declares her love for Eva
Another standout moment in the final chemistry test was Meg getting totally swept up in her feelings for Eva and admitting she was falling in love with her, only for Eva to meekly state the opposite. They had a nice chat about it afterwards, with Eva claiming she appreciated how vulnerable Meg was, but you could tell that she was totally spooked and not ready to go there. It was well-signaled (to us at least) that Eva wasn’t going to turn during the final kiss-off, but that made it no less gutting for Meg!
Things worked out OK for Meg though, quickly sliding into Leilah’s DMs after the show ended, with the couple totally loved up on the reunion show sofa!!
Cara and Georgia fail to process and fail to survive
I was both dismayed and baffled as to where things went wrong for this OG couple! After appearing to be inseparable for most of the show, we had some tension injected into Cara and Georgia’s relationship around their lack of communication. It seemed like one of those situations that mostly existed to manufacture some drama for us, and there was no doubt they’d stick with each other in the final kiss-off. But in the reunion show, Cara brought a gorgeous new hairdo…but no Georgia! The pro footballer was at a cup final match, which is on brand, and makes you wonder if her sporting priorities got the better of them? Who knows? Boooo!
Lisha & Abby are voted off by Priya and Naee
Another OG couple thwarted by alleged communication issues, Lisha and Abby got a raw deal when a minor tiff led to them shockingly getting voted off for having the weakest connection, despite the fact several other couples had been together only a handful of hours!
Pretty sweet revenge then that Lisha and Abby defiantly declared that they’re still going strong eight months later! They joked about kids and marriage! But also were very real about what the next steps were for them, and generally came across like a great pair keeping things steady. Love may not be a lie after all!
Of course, there’s bountiful irony here, because not only are Abby and Lisha the only OG couple that actually stayed together after the show, it was allegedly the couple with the strongest connection that voted them off, which leads us to…
Priya leaves The Masseria and immediately gets married…TO HER EX
Did any of us think the Chekhov’s gun planted right back in episode one would come back with such a bang? Priya brought up her previous relationship at the start of the show, as an example of extremely gay behaviour: meeting online and getting engaged to a woman in a different country after two months without ever having met in person. Pretty standard, right?
When Priya and Naee sat down on the reunion show sofa you could tell things were a bit off with the two of them, and Naee rushed to grumpily tell us why: After spending some time with each other after the show, Priya suddenly checked out of the relationship, flew off to the US to meet her ex-GF, then two weeks later got married!!!
This really did leave me open-mouthed that things soured so incredibly quickly for the show’s golden couple. As miffed as I was on Naee’s behalf, I was mostly worried about Naee’s mum who deserves only happiness! Moral of the story: Never underestimate ex-appeal!
The inevitable group chat
Throughout the show, it was clear that most of the girls were getting on far better as friends than anything more. (Remember the chemistry test where they just kept picking their mates to stare into each others’ eyes?!) So it should be no surprise that despite their many romantic configurations, the bunch of them are now swapping dating dramas on the group chat. Am I disappointed we didn’t get a few more true shots from Cupid’s arrow? Maybe a little, but seeing a group of queer women live, laugh, love, and lesbian their way to the end was a reward in itself. And here’s hoping it’s back soon for another season!
Good news for American viewers without VPN blockers! I Kissed a Girl is coming soon to Hulu.
Love this list and I loved this show. We, too, were GAGGED at Priya and Naee’s outcome and, yes to protecting Naee’s sweet mum at all costs! What a treat to have this show on the BBC :)
Do not take a drink every time they say masseria or you will die. Really enjoyed this show! You totally nailed the best moments!
Loved this list and loved the show. When Priya was explaining what happened I was yelling at the screen “after you met Naee’s lovely mum!?”