Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Grease Bats, today’s comic, is created by Archie!

Guess what! Archie’s five-year collection of Grease Bats is now a book you can hold IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, with your HANDS, that you can read OFFLINE, that you can TUCK UNDER YOUR BED AT NIGHT! Snag a copy for you and a pal!

[Gwen is filming herself with her phone.] Andy: Hey Gwen! What are you up to? Gwen: Ooooh! I'm so glad you asked, Andy! I feel like I finally hit a balance during these times! My day job and mutual aid during the day and trying to go viral on TikTok at night! I bought a ring light, a phone stand and might invest in some airpods! Andy: Wowww! Gwen: I just have to find my "niche." Obviously I'm joining the #FEMMEARMY, and KINK TIKTOK, even though know one seems to know what topping means, and #WLW is fun too, but doesn't work for how I identify... And I WAS interested in witch TikTok, but I think they hexed the moon. Andy: This is like choosing where to sit during lunch, but worse.

Gwen, looking downcast: So far none of my videos have really taken off... Andy: A video I made went viral once... look me up! [Gwen checks her phone and looks frustrated]: Andy... you only have one video uploaded and it was viewed 34 million times?? And it's just you eating candy?? What the fuck! I practice! I edit! I bought a RING LIGHT! Andy: Gwen! It's an ALGORITHM! It's random! Why do you wanna go viral on TikTok anyway? Gwen: I miss queer community! I'm tired of social distancing! I want connection! I love my pod but I want MORE... and by more, I mean a pool of internet cuties to date as soon as a vaccine hits. Andy: Tinder is pretty bleak right now...