Welcome back to your weekly TV and film round up, we’re glad to have you! RuPaul’s Drag Race had the infamous stylist Law Roach as a guest judge, so you definitely don’t want to miss that! Clone High’s third season is worthy of its Frida Kahlo/Cleopatra lesbian romance. Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur has casual queer characters, very famous actors, and literal Black girl magic! With some dykey swagger, Suranne Jones excels in Vigil’s second season — but its romance (and politics) fall flat. And we have your weekly updates for Couple to Throuple (a hot new nonbinary couple arrived!), and The Traitors (in which someone refers to Parvati Shallow as a “duchess of deception”)!
Autostraddle is celebrating all things queer divorce this week and the Autostraddle TV/Film Team got together to talk about the fictional straight women who should divorce their husbands (and marry us instead). If you’re wondering if someone picked Tami Taylor from Friday Night Lights on that list, the answer is absolutely yes!
Notes from the TV Team:
+ Kate and Lucy are back for an abbreviated 14 episode season of NCIS: Hawai’i. Though they didn’t get nearly enough screentime, I loved how the episode showed how much Kate has become a part of Lucy’s world: a deep friendship with Kai and a special kinship with Ernie. It’s clear if something goes awry in their relationship (or with their work), it’ll reverberate across the whole team. — Natalie
+ Food Network’s Tournament of Champions returns on Sunday and four queer cheftestants will be competing for the title: Crista Luedtke, Tiffani Faison, Karen Akunowicz, and last year’s Cinderella, Britt Rescigno. Fingers crossed that this season gives us a champion chefbian! — Natalie
+ It’s a big week for women’s basketball — Olympic qualifying, Caitlin Clark setting the NCAA scoring record, WNBA faves like A’ja Wilson, Jewell Loyd and Tasha Cloud taking part in MNBA All-Star festivities, Sabrina vs. Steph — but perhaps the biggest news dropped tonight!
Y’all asked & our team delivered! ALL 10 episodes of The Syd + TP Show are now available on YouTube!! Share with us your favorite moments when you watch 😊 #SydTP https://t.co/VEK3RBeTSc
— Sydney Colson (@SydJColson) February 17, 2024
Catch up with the faces of the league now on Youtube! — Natalie
Good Trouble 517: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
Written by Natalie
The mamas are in town for a dinner with Callie and the Hunters. Jamie’s parents (Jim and Diane) remain insufferable and it’s still a mystery why the Adams Foster children keep flocking to their offspring. Jim tries to initiate a discussion about politics but Diane quickly shuts it down. She does, however, make a point to note that she (and Jim) are both pro-choice. Stef, who is making short work of her cocktail, can’t bite her tongue: “Oh, yet you voted for someone who’s determined to stack the court with judges who wanted to overturn Roe.”
Oh, Stef, never change.
Jamie arrives just in time to lighten the mood and Diane takes the opportunity to announce that she and Jim will host an engagement party for the happy couple. She muses about a black-tie affair at an upscale hotel and Callie recoils at the idea. She thanks Diane for her efforts but assures her that her moms have it all handled: they’ve already put down a deposit to host the event at Dennis’ new restaurant. This, of course, is news to Stef and Lena who hadn’t made any such plans.
Stef excuses herself from the table and confronts Callie about her deception. Lena joins them — having escaped from being left alone with Jim and Diane — and Callie apologizes for blindsiding them. She doesn’t want Diane to take over her wedding planning and begs her moms to go along with the ruse. Of course, Stef and Lena agree and insist on paying for the party and the wedding.
Back at the table, though, Diane pushes to host the engagement party. After all, she notes, Stef and Lena got to host Brandon’s engagement party and now it’s her turn to host. Stef laments that they’re too far along in the planning process to turn back now. But while Stef and Lena are willing to back Callie’s ruse, Jamie is reluctant: he doesn’t begrudge his parents the opportunity to share in their happiness. Plus he notes, in some ways, Callie isn’t that different from his mother. Callie scoffs, but as the night progresses, similarities between the two become more evident.
Eventually, Callie relents: she agrees to let Diane host the engagement party as she sees fit. In the spirit of compromise, Diane offers to keep the party at Dennis’ gastropub and cull their guest list down to fit the space. But later, Diane overhears Callie explaining her about-face to her moms, and I imagine their detente won’t last long.
Meanwhile, since Morty came out at Ferrets, Morrie has been MIA. Alice pushes Morty to reach out but he resists: if this is how Morrie reacts to him sharing his truth, maybe they we never really friends after all. Feeling responsible for the fissure between the friends, Alice stops by Morrie’s place to persuade him to make amends. Upon arrival, she’s greeted by stuff — lots of it — and Morrie admits that he hasn’t gotten rid of his late wife’s belongings.
Alice questions if Morrie will ever return to work but he’s unsure. He remains stunned at Morty’s revelation and is convinced their entire 30 year friendship was a lie. Alice points out that Morty wasn’t lying to Morrie, he was lying to himself. Morrie insists that if they were really best friends, Morty should’ve told him and refuses to talk about it anymore with Alice. If Morty wants to talk about it, Morrie declares, he can come see him.
Somehow Alice persuades Morty to talk to Morrie but at the last second, he resists. He’s rightly annoyed that, after a lifetime in the closet, he has to center Morrie’s feelings. Alice admits it’s unfair but chalks it up as a necessary evil to preserve some relationships. Once inside, Morty is aghast at Morrie’s hoarding, while Morrie continues to lament Morty’s “lies.” At the root of it all is Morrie’s fear of change but Morty assures him that change can be good because it makes space for new things. The message is persuasive enough because the next day, Morrie returns to the Ferrets writers room.
Back at the Coterie, Sumi’s ready to move into Alice’s loft. Alice questions whether all their things will fit but Sumi explains, if there’s an issue, Alice can just get rid of some of her stuff (Sumi insists her stuff is nicer). Citing her personal attachment, Alice refuses to get rid of any of her stuff. Undeterred, Sumi moves in anyway, finding a way to squeeze both their things into the loft. But when Alice gets home, she’s aghast to discover their cluttered loft. She refuses to live like this and wonders if they should rethink living together entirely.
After her experience with Morrie and Morty, Alice realizes that she also doesn’t like change. She assures Sumi that she really does want them to move in together but, first, they each need to get rid of old stuff… to make room for their stuff.
Hightown 304: “Jackpot”
Written by Natalie
Apparently, Jackie Quiñones cannot charm everyone. The detective investigating Petey’s murder is unimpressed with her explanation for how she ended up at his crime scene and begins to interrogate her. Thankfully, Alan arrives and vouches for Jackie and, suddenly, she’s free to go. Alan pulls Jackie aside and she tells him the same story she told the detective but he stops her midway and warns her not to lie to him. She explains everything — her suspension, Veronica being missing, finding her dealer dead — and an exasperated Alan offers to take her to get coffee.
Jackie begs Alan not to give her the sobriety speech and he assures her he won’t. He does, however, reiterate that if she doesn’t get her shit together, she won’t make it back to State Police. Jackie acknowledges that she’s a screw-up but she knows that something serious is going on in Fall Brook. Alan trusts her instincts so he agrees to look into Veronica’s pimp but he urges her to go home, shower, and get herself together.
Of course, Jackie doesn’t listen; instead, she hits the liquor store and heads home to research more about Maxine McClean’s death. She calls Emma and leaves a rambling message, connecting Veronica to Maxine to Swazey to Petey. Then she heads to Alan’s office — in the same clothes she was wearing before — to help with the investigation. Alan reminds her that she’s not police, she’s a source and, as such, information only flows one way. Still, he keeps his word: he’s bringing Swazey in for questioning. Jackie can’t question him but Alan allows her to watch from behind the looking glass.
Alan questions Swazey about Petey’s death — Jackie’s his alibi — and Veronica’s disappearance. The pimp is cool and snarky. But when the topic turns to Maxine McClean, Swazey immediately gets agitated. He calls for his lawyer, insisting he won’t be blamed for what happened to Maxine. Without a reason to hold him, Alan admits that he’ll have to let Swazey go, much to Jackie’s chagrin. She immediately rushes over to Emma’s place to make sure she’s safe.
Jackie pushes her way into Emma’s apartment and spins her tale about Swazey being responsible for what happened to Veronica, Petey, and Maxine. She realizes that someone else is in the apartment and, convinced that it’s Swazey, she pushes past Emma and rushes into the other room. Turns out, it’s Veronica… who is clearly not dead. Her black eye and bloody shirt are from when Jackie hit her. Jackie absorbs all the information, realizing how wrong she was, and she’s finally hit her rock bottom. In perhaps the best decision she’s made all season, Jackie goes to Ed and confesses that she needs help.
“I’m either gonna kill myself or something’s got to change but I don’t want to be like this anymore,” she tearfully admits.
Ed drives her back to rehab and Jackie climbs out of his car, determined to get clean.
Death and Other Details Episode 106: “Tragic”
Written by Valerie Anne
Guess it’s time to listen to Lauren Patten sing You Oughta Know on a loop!
Two things I predicted came true in this episode: there was another murder, and it was from someone poisoning the vitamin IV. But let’s back up a little.
After discovering the server farm hidden in the walls of the boat, they find out that Sunil isn’t Viktor Sams, but is working for him, sort of unwittingly; he got offered a way out of bankruptcy and took it without asking enough (or really any) questions, and now is indebted to this evil enterprise. Meanwhile, Leila hacks the servers and Teddy is impressed, and the way she says she always knew Leila was “more than just a rich lady’s wife” was very flirtatious if you ask me.
While everyone else is solving a murder and detangling a criminal enterprise, Anna and her brother are drunk and high and doing karaoke in the ship’s bar. It’s what I’ve been waiting for since this show started: Broadway star Lauren Patten belting. And they sang “Come Sail Away,” which is just a funny song to sing on a ship. But also poignant, like when Anna is sadly crooning, “Think of childhood friends and the dreams we had,” and the camera cuts to Imogene.
Afterwards, Anna confesses to Trip that she slept with Eleanor and that Leila asked for a divorce, but Trip encourages her to get her wife back… I think that ship has sailed, pun intended. Because once she gets into the servers, Leila finds the video of Anna and Eleanor sleeping together. (And watches the whole thing.)
Meanwhile, the governor dies from someone poisoning her vitamin IVs, just before she can give up information on the Colliers. Almost like Viktor Sams was protecting them.
In the brig, Winnie confesses to poisoning the IV after finding out the harpooned man wasn’t an asshole billionaire, but an undercover PI; her faith in Viktor Sams is wavering a little.
Imogene confronts Anna about the shady shit her company has been doing, and Anna says that’s why they needed the Chun family’s partnership, she bankrupted them trying to undo all the bad her predecessors had done, but Imogene doesn’t back down, calling her a criminal. In return, Anna calls her an ungrateful cunt.
In the server room, Leila is about to show Teddy the blackmail they have on Winnie when the power in the ship goes out. Rufus thinks this means they’re getting close; Viktor Sams is scared.
Above deck, Lawyer Llewellyn is on the rail of the ship. He calls Rufus a hack, admits he was in love with Imogene’s mother, and gives himself to the sea. Imogene demands that Rufus walk her through her mother’s case. She says, “I’m going to figure out what you missed.”
La Brea Episode 306: “The Road Home (Part 2)”
Written by Valerie Anne
I hope Izzy writes a song called “I left my heart in 10,000 BC” and everyone will think it’s a really wild metaphor but she means it literally.
In the series finale of La Brea, Izzy goes back to 1965 with her dad to find their mother. First, they end up being reunited with her brother, and the clues lead them back to 10,000 BC again to get the microchip, which they think will be the key to getting Eve back.
There ends up being a major Dinosaur vs Soldiers vs Villagers battle, and at one point, Izzy gets grabbed by a soldier, and her fate seems sealed, until an arrow flies into the soldier and she’s saved. She turns and sees Layla there. They have a moment where they lock eyes and Izzy smiles and for a second I thought they were going to kiss… but they don’t. I can see it so clearly in my mind’s eye. Izzy could say, “This might be my last chance to do this and I don’t want to leave 10000 BC with regrets” and just kissed her on the mouth!! I have a conspiracy theory that COVID protocols on set make kissing scenes more complicated and some sets just don’t want to deal with it so they have characters kiss less, which hurts queer characters more than anyone, even though we’re worth the extra time it takes to have safe kissing scenes… but that’s an unhinged rant for another day.
So the people who want to leave 10,000 BC have to take a time machine plane because the auroras are all closed, and for some reason, despite having expressed desire to go to Izzy’s time, Layla doesn’t go with them. I guess it’s nice that she stayed behind with her mother, but again, there was no conversation, no goodbye. So then Izzy is back in 2021, and Layla is in 10,000 BC, and I guess I just don’t understand why they even teased us by starting something they were never going to finish. Why have Vanessa tell Izzy she would know when the moment was right with Layla only for that time to never come?
Honestly this whole season has felt a little bit like it was written to be 10 episodes, then just edited down to 6 episodes. Everything, especially in this finale, felt a bit rushed. It felt like a lot was just skipped instead of reworked and a lot was lost in the process. Including the queer storyline we were teed up to get.
The Fosters/Good Troubles’ politics have always been heavy-handed and surface level but I still annoys me to no end that they put Callie with that man, who is the antithesis of everything she stands for. Then again, I guess it is true to life because there are a lot of so-called liberal women who are exactly like this. Stef and Lena are better than me. You are choosing to marry into that family, beloved, so you are going to be “compromising” and/or “suffering in silence” at the dinner table for the rest of your life.