Happy Friday! Would you like to talk about some TV?
Well first, Valerie reviewed the first few episodes of Gen V (more on that below) and thus far she’s having a great time with the super-powered unlikely friendships and found family vibes! Anya is here to introduce you to the queer women of Survivor Season 45. Our forever Bravo dyke Kayla comes to you with two pieces of hot news: First of all, Jenna Lyons went to a gay bar (the famed Henrietta Hudson’s in New York) and there’s a whole conversation about finger-banging. Second, a trailer dropped for the next season Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Kayla swears that “sapphic scandals” will abound. The Morning Show is doing the Mommi Thing  again and Christina Tucker is the only person you want to read on that development. Drew dug deep into the Greta Garbo and Marlene Dietrich Affair and also got very high to watch — yes, this is the real title — Saving the Gorillas: Ellen’s Next Adventure, you don’t want to miss it.
It’s October and we have your guide to everything gay, on every streaming service, just because we love you!
And now, here’s what else!
Gen V Episode 104: “The Whole Truth”
Written by Valerie Anne
We pick up episode four in the aftermath of Sam and Emma’s escape, where the dean is trying to figure out what happened, and where Sam went. Before she leaves the bloody scene, she finds a teeny tiny shoe that gives her a clue about where to look next.
Even though her friends all think she could be dead, it turns out Emma is fine, and hiding out/cleaning up with Sam at an old movie theater. The problem is that, once Emma breaks the news to Sam that his brother is dead, Sam starts to… deconstruct. He hallucinates Television’s Jason Ritter telling him to kill one of the doctors who treated him in The Woods. Emma does her best to comfort him, but he eventually starts rambling about the doctor and takes off.
Meanwhile back at campus, our core crew is being harangued by television personality/metahuman investigator Tek Knight, who tells the dean he wants to investigate Brink and Golden Boy’s deaths so he can redirect attention away from The Woods.
Marie, desperate to find Emma, enlists the help of a psychic, Rufus. He starts off helping her, but then all of a sudden, Marie finds herself alone in his room and he’s naked. Luckily, Jordan spotted this happening and starts pounding on the door, which snaps Marie out of whatever pheromone haze Roofie had her in, and she uses her blood powers to explode his penis. Jordan kicks down the door, and drags Marie away, complimenting her on her new trick. Jordan tells Marie to keep a lower profile while Tek Knight is lurking around, and Marie says that Jordan acts like they don’t care, but Marie knows they do care, they’re just scared. Jordan says that’s not a good way to thank someone for saving them, but the banter turns playful as Marie insists she saved herself, and Jordan says it was a tag-team dicksplosion.
In their next class, Tek Knight acts as a “guest lecturer” and interrogates Marie, who finally confesses that it was actually Jordan who saved the day when Golden Boy exploded. After, the dean reminds Tek to stop going after her Top 5 students, but he assures her that’s not his plan; he plans to pin it on the regular human dean of the school, actually. Naturally she hates this plan, so blackmails him using videos of him fucking inanimate objects, and he leaves without causing more of a fuss, publicly declaring the school’s deaths as unfortunate happenstance.
After class, Jordan yells at Marie because they wanted the credit but not if it was going to get Marie in trouble. Jordan tells Marie she’s smart, and admits that Marie was right and that they’re scared. Then they step forward, shift into their masc self and kiss Marie. Marie is surprised, but after a moment of processing, kisses them back.
Things start to get hot and heavy but then Emma bursts in, and Marie is relieved to see her roommate in one piece. Emma tells them that Sam was talking about a doctor, and Jordan knows where that doctor lives. When the super squad gets there, Sam is terrorizing the doctor and his family, so they work together to stop him. Eventually, Emma gets REAL big, pins him to the ground and talks him down.
Marie starts to promise Sam that they will protect him, when she’s interrupted by a sharp cut to black, and next thing she knows, she’s in Jordan’s bed. More specifically, in bed with Jordan. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that losing time is never a good sign.
All Rise 313: “Trouble Woman”
Written by Natalie
Before her untimely death last year, Anne Heche was a frequent guest star on All Rise. She played the irascible Corrine Cuthbert, a lawyer who for the bulk of the show’s second season fervently defending cops accused of wrongdoing, before challenging the show’s protagonist, Lola Carmichael, for her judicial seat. This week, in an episode filmed in early 2022, Corrine reappears in Lola’s courtroom, antagonizing the judge from the defense’s table. Heche is in her element as Cuthbert, sparring with Simone Missick and leaning into her role as HOJ villain… and it only compounds the loss. Heche died later that year at 53 and this turn as Corrine Cuthbert was her last television appearance.
Meanwhile, Ness is working her way back from her near death experience. Aloud, she seemingly laments that she’s still stuck in the office — overseeing the firm’s Pharma case and supervising a slew of paralegals — but the moment she’s forced to talk about what happened, emotions buoy to the surface… and it’s clear that she’s not yet ready to step in a courtroom. But even at the offices of Audubon, Quinn & Associates, drama finds Ness: a paralegal inadvertently creates a breach that leaks the firm’s confidential documents to the opposing counsel.
When one of the firm’s partners rages about the mistake, Ness takes the blame for the error. Despite the leak, the documents are still hidden from the opposition’s view by a digital key but the opposition is seeking access due to the firm’s negligence. Andre rants about how much the mistake could cost their client — which, if I didn’t already hate this guy, I do now — and Ness promises to fix things.
When there’s no quick solution to the leak, the firm brings in the opposing counsel to talk settlement. The OC is all bluster and pushes the firm to settle for $30M to buy his silence. But Ness rides in before the deal is agreed to and assures the opposing counsel that he’ll be the one paying them money. It was the opposing counsel’s secret server that caused the breach and Ness uncovers that their firm isn’t alone in being targeted. Andre beams at Ness’ discovery (though he doesn’t apologize for his mistake, natch) and promises to send him a bill for wasting their time.
As she’s heading out, Ness collects a note, celebrating her work, from the firm’s lead partner, Amy Quinn. She includes a lady of justice statue with her note… which I guess is supposed to suggest that Ness is truly a lawyer now but all I can think is how much it looks like that trophy they killed Sam Keating with in the first season of How to Get Away With Murder. Given how this episode ends — with Lola being threatened by a serial killer — I’m left a little worried about how the rest of this season is gonna go.
Only Murders in the Building Episode 310: “Opening Night”
Written by Valerie Anne
In the season finale of Only Murders in the Building, Loretta is delighted to watch the Murder Trio work. On the topic of Donna, their number one suspect, Loretta remembers hearing Donna throw up in the bathroom and suggests that if she’s sick, that might be more motive for her to go above and beyond to make sure her son’s first show goes well, at any cost. She also has the bloody hanky they’ve been looking for.
And just like that it’s opening night of Death Rattle: The Musical. Jonathan takes his leading man cocktail, and Mabel gives Donna flowers that are a ruse to get her into KT’s office. There, the trio starts their song and dance but Donna interrupts them and confesses to poisoning Ben. And she’s not even sorry. She says she didn’t push him down the elevator shaft though… that is, until they show her the bloody hanky, which has a lipstick mark on it that matches her signature color. Suddenly Donna changes her tune and says she did do it, and that she has stage 4 lung cancer, so she asks them to wait until after the final curtain to turn her in.
The only problem with that plan is that Jonathan is Not Okay after taking his pills and can’t go on, and for some reason they don’t have a single understudy or swing, so Oliver goes on in the lead role instead.
In the wings between scenes, Mabel overhears Loretta confessing to Dickie that she’s his mother and that even before she met him, there was nothing she wouldn’t have done for him, and at the same time Mabel looks out into the audience and sees Donna telling Cliff that she’ll have to turn herself in after the show. Then Mabel remembers Donna and Cliff’s pre-show ritual of Donna kissing Cliff on the lips, then kissing his pocket hankie, and she knows the truth.
Mabel finds Cliff in the rafters and he confesses that he fought with Ben that night because he was with him when Ben realizes, in real time, that Donna was the one who poisoned him. The actual shove into the elevator shaft was an accident, but Cliff just left the scene of the crime after. Donna stops Cliff from playing the role of sandbag, and everyone scurried out onto the stage for curtain call. (Including Mabel, hilariously.)
Afterwards, the cops arrest Donna and Cliff, and the cast and crew gather for an afterparty. The show was positively reviewed, and everyone is happy. Tobert is moving to LA for a gig, and Loretta might to, tempting Mabel and Oliver respectively, though they both currently decide to stay, while leaving the option open. (If the show decides to spend time in LA next season.)
But before the party is over, there is a shot through the window of Charles’ apartment, and a body slumps to the floor… but it’s Sazz, Charles’ stunt double, who bleeds out on the floor. Looks like the trio might have another murder to solve after all.
Overall I really loved this season, even though it was slightly less gay than last season, and they did severely underuse Tony nominee Ashley Park. Meryl Streep and Paul Rudd were better guest stars than anyone they’ve had on this show so far, and really added fun elements to this season. I’m glad this show got renewed, because it’s such a fun little murder show!