5. Should Have Asked for Directions
Pairing: Rachel and Quinn
Plot: Rachel’s getting ready to marry some bullshit lady who isn’t Quinn, which leads Quinn and Rachel to remember literally every second of their relationship starting when they were sophomores in college.
Hotness Level: So good angst
Show, Don’t Tell:
“You took too long, Quinn. You drained me. You broke my heart twice and made me break yours just so I could fucking breathe. Everything I associate with you hurts me now! Do you know what that feels like?”
“Of course I know what that feels like! Every time a bus floats by with your face on it, a newspaper clipping with a review of you, and god, just grass! Grass, Rachel! Grass makes my heart ache because I think about the ring I put on your finger.”
And Rachel’s did, too. God, hers did, too. Quinn didn’t know how much and she didn’t need to know. She didn’t need to know Rachel thought of her when her fiancée proposed because they were sitting in grass. She didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know it took her day to decide simply because of a blade of grass. She didn’t need to know.
But looking at Rachel not responding to her, Quinn knew.
“You do, too. You feel it,” she whispered. And brown eyes darted from hers.
“No.”
“You do,” Quinn muttered and stepped forward. Rachel’s hands shook, her chest heaved, her teeth bit into her bottom lip and her weight shifted. All of her disguises evaporated. And it reached into Quinn’s chest and shocked her heart. She could do this. She could walk away with Rachel.
She stepped forward again and Rachel stepped back.
“I know you’re in love with me.”
“I’m not,” Rachel whimpered, begging for truth in the statement.
Outsider Observations: How come Rachel is a villain in every single fic that isn’t a Faberry fic? I’m calling a HBIC foul, fandom!
4. Dovekin
Pairing: Brittany and Santana
Plot: Brittany is the Dragonborn of legend and Santana is Jarl Ulfric’s daughter. If that doesn’t mean anything to you, Skyrim has never been a part of your life and that makes me sad in my heart.
Hotness level: If you love video games and Glee, find an air conditioned place to read this.
Show, Don’t Tell:
She only exposed the blade halfway before Brittany’s hand reached between them. With the slightest pressure, Brittany’s hand stopped the sword’s movement. Santana’s eyes jolted up at the physical contact. This was the second time today Brittany had maneuvered into her space without Santana even realizing it. Santana was used to not wearing gloves, but she hadn’t noticed Brittany’s lack of protection. Her fingers slid down the handle and grazed the outside Santana’s hand. A flood of warmth rushed from Santana and up Brittany’s arm. The sword remained suspended – half in and out of the sheath; like her words. Santana swallowed hard, but she was acutely aware of the other woman’s grip on the handle of her short sword. She had just spent the better part of her day tracking Imperials, watching sentries, and remaining undetected, but within a few minutes, Brittany had disarmed her of her sword and robbed her of her senses.
If she released, Brittany would have complete control, but she would be able to put her hand over Brittany. The space between them shortened. She flexed her fingers and considered what she would give up in order to touch the other woman so brazenly.
“Or whenever.” Brittany said. Santana lifted her eyes, grateful that she didn’t have to choose. “I know you’ve been scouting all day and I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day tomorrow. I just-” She paused and licked her bottom lip as if searching for the right word. “-I would just really like to learn. If you would teach me.”
Tomorrow.
The word hung and Santana suddenly felt a fool for getting caught star-gazing with Brittany. There were forces bigger and greater – and Brittany was one of them. It wasn’t the first time she wondered how Brittany had come to discover she was dragonborn – Dovahkiin. What had she been doing in the crypt and why was she here now? Santana look up into Brittany’s eyes. Did she realize how important she was?
“Tomorrow. It’s going to be chaos. Stay close to me, Dovekin.”
Outsider Observations: I had Brittany figured for a sneaky archer character and Santana figured for a heavy armor/warhammer character, but maaaan, I love some sword play.
3. Agendas Unspoken
Pairing: Brittany and Santana
Plot: Lord Tubbington is an international talk show sensation and Brittany has scored a hosting/producing gig for an MTV documentary about Quinn Fabray’s father, who is running for office. Santana is Quinn’s handler, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Hotness level: Spicy-sweet
Show, Don’t Tell
You shift closer without even thinking about it. Her hips are level with the line of your eyes, and you take your hand back from hers and use it to pull the shirt from her pants. She asks Brittbut you don’t listen; you lift yourself up and you place your lips to the skin of her stomach, just above her jeans, just in that place where her hips dent inwards. She breathes deep and you watch her stomach rise, you watch the goosebumps jump across her skin, and you lean forward and kiss her again. When she says Brittany the way that she does, you pause and you pull your eyes back up to her face.
She asks what you’re doing, and you shoot her a wink, “Looking for awesomeness.”
“That’s a thing?”
“It’s an awesome friend thing,” you assure her, and when you lean forward this time, you don’t just press your lips up against her; you open your mouth, just slightly, and you suck her skin gently between your lips. When she hisses, you graze against her with your teeth and you pull back again. She’s looking at you and her eyes are wide, they’re dark and deep and her hands have found a grip on the comforter and she looks afraid to move.
And you know that this is more than friends, and you know this isn’t what she’s used to.
It makes you move slowly, yet still you move.
Outsider observations: If Glee‘s writers wrote Brittany five percent as well as fandom, Heather Morris would have won three Emmys already.
2. Got You Stuck On My Body (Like a Tattoo)
Pairing: Quinn and Santana
Plot: Quinn and Santana do angst-y scissoring all over the place and keep thinking about that slap fight they got into before going full lesbosexy all over each other at Will and Emmma’s wedding.
Hotness level:Â Three alarm pants fire
Show, Don’t Tell:
It might be okay. Maybe. Maybe this is just an inevitable conclusion, because it feels so good, and Quinn’s grinding hips agree with her. Her core burns with need and when Santana presses her knee against her, sparks snap in her brain and nearly cause her to crumple against her door.
Fuck, she wants this. She wants where this is going. The unforgiving, relentless pressure of Santana’s hard thigh, pressing so violently against her it’s almost painful. Santana’s fingers slide out of her mouth with a wet pop, smear saliva down her cheek before her lips are slanting hungrily against Santana’s.
Instead of a finger sliding inside her mouth, she gets Santana’s tongue plunging in with purpose and intent. The moan that rips out of Quinn is embarrassing, but she can’t even begin to care. Not when Santana’s lips slide hotly against hers, not when she’s sucking on that dangerous muscle that is so often Santana’s most dangerous weapon. It’s a dirty, lewd first kiss, and Quinn’s violent drunken impulses take hold when she fumbles between them to rip at Santana’s damn distracting button down shirt, tearing it open to get her hands on Santana’s perfect breasts.
Outsider observations: Quinn is universally the best at sex in all Glee fics, even the ones where she’s not the star of the story.
1. Room 47
Pairing: Brittany and Santana
Plot: Santana tries to convince herself to marry Sam by seeing a therapist named Brittany S. Pierce, who has a dog named Lucy and a motorbike with a vibrating seat. Rolls in the hay happen in literal hay.
Hotness level:Â Heaving bosom
Show, Don’t Tell:
She grabs both your wrists and suddenly spins you over, lying you down on your back against the hay and pinning your hands above your head once again. She climbs over you, looking down at you, her eyes laced with lust and conflict. Brittany slides her body up over yours so that she glides up over your stomach, then her breasts are pushing up against and sliding by yours.
Your gasp and you begin to pant again as her face comes up to meets yours. She’s lying on top of you and instead of pushing her away or feeling guilt you arch your back up into her needing the contact.
You need her to do something.
She does. She leans down and nudges your nose playfully with hers before her lips lean down and press gently against yours. You let out a whimper as you feel your body turn to mush under her weight. You feel her smirk against your lips and you whimper again, the feeling vibrating your lips against hers. She sinks her lips further and more forcefully down onto yours and your whole body is frozen and buzzing and you haven’t a fucking clue what to do. You’re breathing hard through your nose and your clammy hands grasp at the straws of hay at your side.
Outsider observations: Sam is super sexually incompetent in all femslash Glee fics, even though Riese and I feel pretty confident that he would be the best in bed of all Glee dudes.
My main beef with Glee fic is there’s not nearly enough Mercedes and Unique. If you’ve written something about them, I sure would love to read it. Next week is Pretty Little Liars; leave your recommendations in the comments!
