Faking It Episode 303 Recap: I Love Everybody Being Totally Over Me!

Riese —
Mar 30, 2016
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Welcome to the third recap of the third season of Faking It, a YouTube tutorial series about how to achieve smoky bedroom eyes on a budget from the network that brought you Snooki & JWowww.


Once upon a time in a land far, far away, before Karma embarked on a musical career that included instrumental odes against free iPads and backyard ballads to win her best friend back, there was “Hump Day.”

Hello Ladies
Hello Ladies

Hump Day, a video clearly inspired by Rebecca Black’s “Friday,” is the video Amy and Lauren were talking about leaking last week. The video is full of fun ephemera: Karma with Marcia Clark curls, Karma crawling on a desk in a short skirt, Karma oozing about “Hump Day” in a belly-dancer costume in front of a giant plastic camel, Karma with braces, etc.

This camel is ALL MINE. And you can't have ANY!
This camel is ALL MINE. And you can’t have ANY!

It’s already a Viral Hit on the interwebs!

I think there's a part in here where she does this hand motion that she thinks represents lesbian sex but actually doesn't?
I think there’s a part in here where she screams “fisting!!!” and does this hand motion that she thinks represents lesbian sex but actually doesn’t?

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Yup, that's the part.
Yup, that’s the part.

Liam feels sorry for Karma, which Shane thinks is ’cause Liam isn’t over Karma. Let’s just talk about who is or isn’t over Karma forever and ever and ever and ever and ever! Let’s never talk about anything else! (Except for how Amy slept with Liam that one time. Let’s make room to talk about that, too.)

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Holy shit, Shane…
Those are the worst fonts ever!
…those are the worst fonts ever!

The kids at school have lots to say about this video, ’cause even Yarn Arts enthusiasts who only eat twigs and gluten-free cornbread and believe in horticulture aren’t above some good old-fashioned totally un-funny bullying at Karma’s expense.

If Quinn could survive "Lucy Caboosey," I can certainly survive this!
If Quinn could survive “Lucy Caboosey,” I can certainly survive this!

Thanks to Karma’s morning meditation with Dylan, she’s able to say that she is completely Zen about the whole thing! She’s lying, of course, but Dylan believes her ’cause he’s a tool.

Is plotting Amy's death
Is plotting Amy’s death

Karma confronts Amy on the resplendent lawn of Hester High but it quickly becomes a Karma/Lauren battle rather than a Karma/Amy battle. Lauren says it’s impossible for Amy to get over Karma when Karma keeps luring her back in, like that time she kissed her in the pool! But Karma was drunk! Lauren wants to know why Karma thinks everything is somebody else’s fault! Karma wants everybody to know that obviously Lauren is just trying to make her the villain so she can keep Amy to herself! Amy is like, “No, you are the villian though.”

“You want a villian? You’re gonna get one,” says Karma, storming off in her tiny shorts.

something
Look, I only told you about the Kon Mari method because I wanted you to live your best life, okay? If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine, but you don’t have to ridicule me about it.
making fun of
“Waaaaaa waaa I have too much stuffffff”
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“What am I gonna do with allll of my extra STUFFFF???”
Well guess who just added themselves to the "things that don't bring me joy" list.
Well guess who just added themselves to the “things that don’t bring me joy” list.
FI303-00042
What?

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WHO ARE WE GONNA FUCK WITH ALL OUR EXTRA DILDOS????!!!
WHO ARE WE GONNA FUCK WITH ALL OUR EXTRA DILDOS????!!!

None of this bothers Shane, though, ’cause Shane is Switzerland. He’s cool, neutral and very expensive. Therefore, he refuses to take sides, even when Karma attempts to bring him over to the dark side by feeding him trash Amy allegedly talked about him.

Who put a tampon in my butt?
Who put a tampon in my butt?

Cut to Sustainability Class, where Amy and Liam are so excited to be lab partners. However, this situation does provide Amy with a crucial bit of information: Karma was telling the truth about Zita! Zita kissed HER, not the other way around. Liam confirms it, so it must be true.

Come ON there's no way this thing could ever be a vibrator
Come ON there’s no way this thing could ever be a vibrator

Amy heads off to tell Karma she’s sorry, because love means having to say you’re sorry a lot. Lauren pleads with her to NOT apologize, I mean, don’t forget the pool kiss! But Amy knows that if she’s truly over Karma, the pool kiss shouldn’t matter. Am I right, ladies?

Come on! It's just a hot smoothie. You can't even taste the kale!
Come on! It’s just a hot smoothie. You can’t even taste the kale!

Unfortunately, Amy’s plan is thwarted when she turns the corner and faces a hallway strewn with papers. It’s like everybody got their Hogwarts letter on the same day, which’d be a big blow to Hester, but I think that Penelope would be okay because she wants her children to follow their dreams. Turns out that these papers are pages Karma ripped out of Amy’s top-secret diary, chock-full with scenes like “sex dreams about Karma” and “motel stakeouts with Lo-Lo.” I think the only thing scarier to me than everybody reading my diary is not having all my diary pages in order in the diary itself in a drawer in my room for me to read and write in.

I've got 30 pages of Sparia fanfic. Who wants in?
I’ve got 30 pages of Sparia fanfic. Who wants in?
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Riese

Riese is the co-founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker and LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York, and now lives in Los Angeles. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3303 articles for us.

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