Sometime last year, I was dealing with a not-so-shocking wave of intense horny behavior. I was, as the kids say, down bad. So I went to Twitter and asked my friends about the horniest songs of all time. I got quite a few answers and added a few to the running myself. I made a playlist of most of the songs mentioned, and unsurprisingly, it fucking slaps.
Here, I’ll be talking about the ones that made it to my playlist in detail. What makes them so horny? How’d the people in the studio keep a straight face when recording?? Join me on this wet ride to Horny Jail.
“Closer” Nine Inch Nails
The horniest line from this song is of course not him whispering “you let me penetrate you,” BUT, the line “you get me closer to God.” An orgasm that brings you closer to the Lord himself is a powerful orgasm and one that deserves to have a whole song dedicated to it.
But let’s be real, this song is rife with horny lines, it’s teeming with sexual energy, the vocals are tense and steamy, the instrumentation makes you feel like you’re in a dark club with strobe lights flashing and sweaty bodies dancing close. Ah, the pre-COVID days of sweating on strangers and making out with abandon!
I first heard NIN at a performance space where my friend who is a stripper danced to one of their songs. I always thought they were gonna be a hardcore band because of the name, come to find out it’s music for horny goths.
This submission was added by me, so it’s the first one up. When I think of horny I definitely think of this song. Take a shot every time I say horny, actually please don’t do that. Eat a gummy bear or something that won’t kill you.
“Change (In the House of Flies)” Deftones
I also was introduced to this song when watching another friend who is a stripper dance. Hey, if you don’t make friends with strippers are you really living right?? From her, I learned that this is a really popular song for nights on the stage.
I don’t know what this song is about, but what makes it horny is the slow, creeping nature. The whispery, static-y vocals, the “ahhhhh-ah, ahhhhh-ah.” I don’t know man, it’s just a very sexy song.
“Love to Love You Baby” Donna Summer
Do I have to say much on this one? From jump Donna’s moaning on the track, just straight up reaching climax right in your ear. “Love to Love You Baby” as the refrain is simple, sexy, and gets you right to the point of the song. We aren’t mincing words here folks, we’re talking coitus.
Also, this song (the one on Spotify) is 16 minutes long!! That’s a pretty good romp by straight people’s standards. This song has one of the sexiest bass lines in history too, bringing you to this place of ultimate funk and groove. Summer’s voice is cat-like and seductive, the way the vocals come in waves kinda mimics the waves of orgasm. Am I reading too much into this? Perhaps, but it’s so good how can I not!
This song is hornyyyyy.
“S.O.S.” Kelela
The gracious Kelela has heard our pleas and is back to releasing new music, but before that she put out this sexy little track. S.O.S has lyrics like:
“I’m feeling a lot of pressure
only you can help me out
was trying to make it easy
now your fingers in my mouth.”
Steamy!! Y’all have read a lot about my sex life over the years but I must say, sucking on fingers is top 10 hot sexual experience.
Kelela follows that up with
“Will you come around
before it’s too late?
I could touch myself babe
but it’s not the same”
This song is unjustly short, but also somehow the perfect length. Like a good, healthy strap, it gets the job done! As the song fades away, her voice runs in this incredibly delicate yet alluring way. Kelela is a dope vocalist, and deserves more accolades!
“Thong Song” Amber Mark Cover
We are all familiar with Sisqo’s original version of this classic, but something about the Amber Mark cover of the song makes it even hornier. Penning and singing a whole ode to ass in a thong is just otherwordly horny.
What I love about this version is Mark sings it and doesn’t do the thing where she tries to remix it to make it sound heterosexual. She’s straight up like “SHOW ME THAT THONG GIRL” and I love it.
This cover of the song also reconstructs the instrumental and makes it way more uptempo and dancey. Amber Mark has a voice that is sultry and deep with the ability to reach those high notes, And the classic lyrics of
“She had dumps like a truck (truck, truck)
thighs like what (what, what)
baby move your butt (butt, butt)”
are just indicative of someone who is so turned on they start talking silly. Great cover of a great song.
“Would You Mind” Janet Jackson
Janet Jackson is the queen of horny, the queen of sensuality and sexuality. I’ve already written about this phenomenon and will expound a little here. Like Summer, she’s been known to moan on a track, just full-on simulating the sexual experience in a song and on stage. Lest we forget her performances where she grinds on audience members strapped to a device. The look on those men’s faces, the sheer explosive desire they are experiencing. It’s powerful shit.
The last few moments of the song are just her turning on everyone in the studio. She’s such a legend and appears on this list more than once!
“Desire” Meg Myers
My editor at my old job recommended this song, and it’s a doozy. She described the mood as ‘I want to fuck you to death” and she’s spot on. The chorus is just Myers screaming
“HOW DO YOU WANT ME?!”
and of course, my favorite lyric:
“I wanna taste you, I wanna skin
you with my tongue.
I’m gonna kill you
I’m gonna lay you in the ground.”
LMAO like girl please calm down!
This song might be the horniest on this list for that line alone. I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’re gonna die is some…energy!
“Any Time, Any Place” Janet Jackson
Here she is again, in all her glory. This song is “it’s on sight” but like, sexually speaking.
“Pussy is Mine” Miguel
This song is very nigga antics, but also very horny. Men love being like “that pussy is mine!” it’s so possessive and weird, but also is there anything hornier than loving sex so much you’re like “this is mine, I want to own this feeling and live in it forever!”
“Darling Nikki” Prince
We start off by calling this woman a sex fiend and establishing she’s masturbating in a hotel lobby. So we’re off to a horny start. If Janet is the queen then Prince is the king. The way he hits high notes and screeches “Nikki!” is very sexy and energetic.
Also, love that Nikki was like “thanks for the sex, I’m gone!” I love her even if she’s maybe made up!
“Two Weeks” FKA twigs
Speaking from experience, this is a great song to have sex to. twigs’ voice is so pretty, so captivating, and strong throughout the song. The song is essentially about stealing someone’s lover and, I get it, though I don’t condone it! Sometimes sex can feel like—or better than—being high, and I think this song gets that feeling across.
“My thighs are apart for when
you’re ready to breathe in”
Was my favorite lyric for quite some time!! I was delusionally turned on by this song, it made it to like all of my sex playlists. Also, saying “give me two weeks, you won’t recognize her,” is so devilish and sexy. If somebody said that to me I’d probably cheat too.
“Dance Like U” Okay Kaya
This song is sweet, but still horny. The lyrics “do you dance like you fuck, or do you dance like you make love,” are so…so! I don’t even know. I normally am anti “make love” as I term because I think it’s corny but judging someone’s dancing skills and being like “I bet you fuck good” is so funny and real.
If they can’t dance, they are bad in bed is sometimes pretty accurate but I’ve had my back broken by a white person with no rhythm so it isn’t always true! This song may not sound like it stacks up but it’s a great song to send someone when you are horny so I think it works.
“the valley” Miguel
“I’m your heaven
I’m your hell
I’m your healer babe.”
is some evil Scorpio dick shit, and I say that as a Scorpio.
Also, this song was the first time I’d heard someone name the clit while singing, which is…so horny!
The crux of the song is “I want to fuck like we’re pornstars” which is a wild thing to say but I get it.
We also get finger-sucking in this song too, which we all know how I feel about that now. You’re welcome! We even get hate fucking which is a practice that is super horny but a little strange. I’ve had sex with someone I hated and it wasn’t great but maybe I need to try it again.
“Kiss it Better” Rihanna
“What are you willing to do?”
At this point in my life, anything lol. That line is so sexy, so bossy, this song is just *chefs kiss*
“Hold On” The Internet
This is another song that was on pretty much all of my sex playlists from the time I first heard it. Syd just has a very sexy, whispery voice. This song is about fucking someone so good you feel like you can’t stop, like you don’t want to stop.
“we go another round
before we fall asleep.”
This is the dyke representation this list needs. Who among us hasn’t chosen sex over sleep? I’m guilty! “Hold On” is a perfect song to have sex to, making it an obvious choice for this playlist. Also, we really needed to queer this list up so I added one of my favorite songs to it, just doing my due diligence.
“Do Me, Baby” Prince
He’s back and hornier than ever. I first heard this song as a pre-teen, pre-out-of-the-closet DJ, and even then I knew exactly what he was singing about, and I liked it.
“Love You Down” Meshell Ndegeocello Cover
I heard the original version of this song as a kid, and only recently heard this very gay, very erotic cover. Ndegeocello takes the sex appeal of this song to a whole nother level with her rendition: the heady drums, the slowed-down tantalizing vocals, and the twangy guitar. It’s all…so hot. Somewhere in the middle she just whispers “I’d do anything for you” and it’s like WOO!
“You’re Making Me High” Toni Braxton
Braxton’s voice was the first female voice I heard and thought “uh oh, I’m a little fruity aren’t I?”
This music video, the lyrics, The little run she does when she sings “I want to be with you in spite of what my heart says.” Ooo!
This song is mainly on this list because, while it is super horny, I also heard it in my formative dreaming about kissing girls years. It was the soundtrack to my little lusty desires. And to be honest, still kind of is!
“Crown Royal” Jill Scott
Now, this was a friend’s suggestion. I knew I had heard the song before but forget about it. But let me give you a taste:
“You grab my braids, arch my
back high for you
You’re diesel engine, I’m
squirting mad oil.”
Jill! JILL! That’s how they do it in Philly?? My mouth was agape when I first listened to this song again. It’s so sexually explicit while also being tongue-in-cheek. Like what is this car metaphor???
And let’s just say, before I quit drinking I would sometimes drink Crown Royal, and every time I did I was twerkin or fucking somebody, so its reputation proceeds it.
“Dive” Victoria Monet
This song is straight up about giving head and it doesn’t mince words about it. It’s super catchy and easy to get lost in. As one of my favorite activities, this song hits a lot of notes for me. We even get moaning! Deep sea diving metaphors! Let’s get wet ladies!
What songs is this playlist missing? Recommend some below, and be nice about it!
