Over the last few years, sex toy companies have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the Eroscillator Top Deluxe Vibrator, available at Babeland.
Okay, first thing’s first: This vibrator is very, very good. It’s worth the hype, and I would say it’s also worth the price tag. That said, I have some more intricate thoughts about it, which is good, because otherwise this sex toy review would be quite short.
I’ve eyed this vibrator for a long time, so I’ve gotten used to its bizarre look — but wow, it’s very strange to look at! It sort of looks like an electric toothbrush when it’s standing on your bedside table (this makes sense, because the Eroscillator was actually created by the same person who invented the electric toothbrush!). While I don’t hate a good roleplay where I pretend to be a teen using an electric toothbrush to masturbate again, it’s definitely not slick or sexy like some of the newer vibrators on the market today. But it’s not ugly — just odd-looking.
The Eroscillator plugs into the wall, rather than running on batteries or needing to be charged, which rules. The cord is very long, which also rules, and the fact that your masturbation or sex session will never be interrupted by the disappointing whimpers of a dying vibrator is a huge deal. This baby can go forever.
As for performance, I expected to be blown away, and I was. The Eroscillator is for you if you like oscillating vibrations on and around your clit, your nipples, the tip of your penis, or any other body part you can think to use this on. I personally love this exact type of movement on my clit and on my nipples, so I was delighted. My partner really liked the movement on her clit, but she wasn’t a big fan of the sensation on her nipples — she said it just didn’t do it for her.
The Eroscillator Top Deluxe Vibrator, specifically, comes with multiple attachments — according to the manufacturer, one is made of silicone, and the rest are made of TPR and nylon. Some of them feel pretty standard, and some of them feel wild. (The other Eroscillators on the market do not come with as many attachments and do not have as strong a motor. I’ve heard anecdotally that it’s not a big deal when comparing the motors, but that the attachments are really worth it to splurge on, which is what drew me to the Eroscillator Top Deluxe Vibrator.) The “Ball and Cup” attachment, for example, felt great, as did the “Golden Spoon” — those shapes really cupped my clit. Meanwhile, the “Ultra Soft Finger Tip” was a little too soft for me, and while the “French Legionnaire’s Moustache” looked BIZARRE (truly like a little moustache — with hair!), when I used it on my partner, she LOVED it — so don’t judge a book by its cover. The “Grapes and Cockscomb” attachment was a surprise winner in our household, and the “Seven Pearls of the Orient” looked sexy (“Is that for anal?” my partner asked, and upon reading the pamphlet that came with the toy, I learned it is, although I’m nervous that the attachment could come off, and, without a flared base, would get sucked into the swirling vortex of your butthole). But the name gave us pause (“Why… is it called that?” my partner asked, and to be honest, I do not know and I wish it wasn’t!).
At this point, I’ve used the Eroscillator Top Deluxe Vibrator solo, with my partner, and on my partner, and it’s been amazing each time. I especially appreciate the sensation on my clit when I’m pairing it with penetration. I did truly experience some mind-shattering orgasms — that cannot be denied. The product specs say, “Swiss designed and university tested, this isn’t your typical sex toy,” and I would agree and also disagree. After its invention in 1996 (and its rise to sex toy fame, thanks to an endorsement from Dr. Ruth), the Eroscillator was the first toy of its kind to really make the movement it makes (oscillating — moving side to side — with 3600 movements per minute), but I don’t think it’s the only toy of its kind on the market anymore. The Zumio products come to mind immediately (check out our review of those toys, and I even think some of the suction toys on the market today (the Womanizer, and all the toys of its ilk) do similar things re: movement, even though oscillating and sucking are not exactly the same. The main thrust is that the toy is not vibrating, and, as such, it’s not going to numb out the area you’re using it on, and if your body is like mine, it will allow you to tease yourself longer and perhaps squirt because of that. Which is amazing! But I just think while it used to be a groundbreaking toy, it is now one in a line of toys that do similar things. A very beloved elder in that line, to be sure, but not a unique, special sunflower, you know?
I will also say, this toy is not the Hitatchi Magic Wand. That feels silly to say — because, duh, of course it’s not — but it should be noted that the sensation is different from the hard vibrations a Hitatchi provides. This is very cool, and also, sometimes you just want the hard vibrations of your Hitatchi! I masturbated for a few hours with the Eroscillator one night before eventually telling my partner, “Okay, that’s enough teasing — I need to come fucking hard.” And so I grabbed the Hitatchi, and within seconds, I did just that. So if you love vibrations, this might not be the toy for you. And if you already have a Zumio, this might not be the toy for you because it’s similar to what you already have. And! If you care a lot about the aesthetics of your toy or if you’re on a tight budget, this might not be the toy for you because it’s not cute and it’s not cheap.
But if you’ve heard the hype about the Eroscillator and you’re wondering if it’s true? Yeah, it totally is. If money is no object and you want a toy that oscillates and will never die mid-session while rocking your world, the Eroscillator Top Deluxe Vibrator is the way to go. You’re welcome.
i cannot with the visual similarity to the debristled sonicare of my youth, hahaha
Too funny to think that my vibrator and my toothbrush are, like, siblings.