I can’t say that I know much about “fashion” or “signature scents” or “having enough money to buy luxury name brands” — but what I do know is sexy queer people being sexy, and so please allow me to present Elliot Page, A$AP Rocky, and Julia Garner in their new ad campaign for Gucci Guilty.

What we have here is a California ranch-style home, like what Mike from the Brady Bunch designed for his giant family to live in, but instead of six kids, a married couple, a shaggy dog, and a maid, we have a throuple who enjoy spending their time maintaining the lawn, reading the newspaper, having endless conversations about the Criterion Collection, nuzzling all over the furs in their closets like a bunch of kittens, splashing each other gently with Gucci perfume, and canoodling in various sexy ways. The Harptones croon about how Life Is But a Dream while A$AP Rocky gently brushes Elliot Page’s bangs off his forehead, and then spritzes him down with some more Gucci spice. I believe A$AP Rocky learned this move from Carol Aird.

It’s all very dreamy and surreal and hot hot hot. See for yourself.

According to Gucci, the scent of Guilty, is “an ode to self-acceptance, friendship, and love in all its forms… The campaign invites each of us ‘home,’ a metaphorical place where we are free to accept who we are and let our authentic selves be seen.” It was shot by Glen Luchford and seems like an homage to 2003’s The Dreamers, another film about a throuple, but a Parisian one, which I think the French call a “Merci Beaucoup.”

“We all know how I feel about Elliot and this is making me feel disrespectful… respectfully,” Autostraddle Culture Editor Shelli Nicole said of the campaign.

“I always bring a perfume bottle when snuggling up with someone,” Autostraddle A+ and Fundraising Director Nico Hall added. “SPRITZ SPRITZ. They love it.”

This isn’t the only gay thing Gucci’s been up to right lately. They shut down a SoCal store for Niecy Nash’s birthday so Jessica Betts could host a private party full of shopping, cake, smooching, and general wife worship.

I took the Gucci Signature Scent Quiz on the website and it said my best fragrance match is “Gucci Guilty Parfum Pour Homme, 90ml, eau de parfum,” which I think means “woody musky tomboy.” My French isn’t perfect, but yeah, I think that’s right.

Anyway, Elliot Page bi vibes, huh?

Please leave your review of the new throuple film, Gucci Guilty, in the comments.