Many years ago on April 1st, 2019, the website Autostraddle, for one day, devoted itself to perhaps its most worthy subject of all time: me, Carol the dog. The entire website became Carolstraddle, with a special banner for me, a special cursor for me, and special articles for me.
It was an important day for not just me (I am important every day and a star) but for all pets and animals, who flooded the comments, finally having found a space where they could be amongst like-minded individuals and share their emotions and concerns on a variety of important issues, such as a dog who was barking very loudly at the time.
Every time I complain to my parent, Riese, that there has not been enough Carol content since that time, she gently suggests I re-route my complaint to an Editor and also tells me that I am in the newsletter every week. While it is true that my PICTURE is in the newsletter, what about my voice?????
Just an Idea!!! (graphic by Sarah Sarwar)
Imagine my delight when a great void opened up this week with one Editor out sick and another wrapped up with writer interviews!!! (Not that I need a great void, I am a small dog and only need a small void, but anyways) In fact I heard word that on today, April 1st, both our Editor-in-Chief and Managing Editor would be out of the office!!?!!?!?
Therefore I knew there had never been a better time to hatch a plan to center myself!!!! Once again I could bring an important voice (mine) to the LGBTQIA+ population on April First!!!
But there’s more!!!!!
Although my in-person behavior towards every other animal in the world (especially squirrels) would suggest otherwise, I am very benevolent and generous towards all of G-d’s creatures and decided that this year 2022, I would use my privilege to stop thinking about only myself for the day and instead make space on this website for other animals (not just me) to take up space. In fact today you will be hearing from not just me (Carol) but also from two dogs who are not me, one cat (i also might be a cat so in a way that is also about me) and a tarantula. When was the last time you read an article by a tarantula? That’s right, we are doing important work here.
Also there is a quiz where you or your pet can find out if you are me or maybe a pet who is not me?
In conclusion, look how cute I am:
Go, Carol. Seize the means of pro-dog-tion.
thank you so much Kristana! i love power!!!
Comment awards nomination!
Yes Car(o)l, way to marx your territory!
CAROL👏👏👏
i love claps!!
“I approve” – Theodore (pictured in my profile pic)
“thank you theadore” -me (carol) (pictured in my profile pic)
Carol! Always glad to see you doing world domination!
thank you heather!!!!!
My favorite part of this is the mouse icon changing to a picture of Carol! Giving me 2000s Geocities vibes
what if we had this mouse icon every day?????
Right?! It’s sooooo cute! And makes me feel like I’m a teen again… remember when you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself while sleeping? Good times.
OMG IT EVEN HIDES IT’S FACE WHEN YOU HOVER OVER A LINK. THIS IS THE CUTEST CURSOR EVER!
Omg hi CAROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love your best friend Pinny
oh hi penn what a treat i didn’t know you could read
Carol, I love your energy and usually I would have more than enough energy to hop on board for world dog-ination, but I went to daycare yesterday and cannot be bothered. Must sleep and recharge.
i went to the daycare a few times and i hid underneath a bridge of blocks the whole time so none of the other dogs could see me!!!! i slept and recharged the whole time.
just a tip from me, carol
This has never occurred to me as an option!
hello carol. i notice that you don’t have an author bio. i must know more about you and your strange fascinating ways.
HI PB
i added a bio for you!!!!!!!! it’s true that i fascinate!!!!
Hi, this is Christina’s better half (really three quarters), Bocce. I have been logging on daily to see what lame things Christina has posted. She embarrases me sometimes….
Changed Christina’s Avatar to my handsome mug….better than that Princess Amidala picture she uses….geeeez….that girl has got to get over that crush on Princess Amidala.
Anyway, finally something good on this sight….DOGS RULE!!
Carol, your HOT!!!! GRWWWWWWWL! YOU CAN COME OVER AND PLAY WITH MY TOYS ANYTIME!!!
Well, gotta go and sit on Christina’s face to wake her up. HaHa she hates that!!
Christina’s not so lame, and much better looking, better three quarters,
Bocce
PS: love the classy cursor!!
Hi Bocce it’s me (Carol)
it’s ok we all have embarrassing owners sometimes!!!! like my owner has posted some pretty wild articles on this website, like about food that is poison???? who cares if food is poison??? (most of the time i don’t even care about food at all though which i know makes me a very special dog!) and about tv shows, like if something is more interesting than looking at me, carol!?!!?! but it’s ok, because i understand my place in the world (queen!!!!)
anyways you’re right, i am quite hot, maybe the hottest dog (get it??!)
Yep…you are the hottest dog!!
Christina’s been a work in progress but I see some improvement after rescuing her all those years ago. Her grooming at least has improved.
Know what you mean about TV, I am still trying to train Christina: less Tv time, MORE ME TIME!! Alas, she’s kind of a slow learner…..
Time for Lunch……
See you latter Hottie!!
Hi, Bocce again, forgot to mention I changed a few things in Christina’s profile. She’s asleep so she won’t notice. I had to add a little class to it….Don’t tell Christina…..
HI CAROL! Thank you for enlisting our help today! Truly you are doing so much for animal (and tarantula) visibility and I play-bow to you!
thank you i roll over to you!!!!!
Puppy cursor! 🐶
a classic we brought it back!! everybody loves it (should be permanent)
Fucking love this.
ME TOO LYDIA
Hello! The Princess is IN.
I took over from my human / gardener cleo today. I don’t know what a dog is but I used to know 2 cats. One liked to cuddle next to my pot and helped out by fertilizing the ZZ plant. The other was horrible and destructive and attached my lovely leaves.
i was the third cat who was actually a dog and didn’t even notice you were there!!!
HI CAROL MILO HERE AGAIN JUST A QUICK UPDATE, I am really enjoying Animalstraddle
sorry did i say update? I meant pupdate
MILO thank you so much for appreciating (what is probably the best day ever on autostraddle)
Bocce here again, Christina is still sleeping so my paws are working overtime on the keyboard.
Like Milo, really enjoying this! A few suggestions:
– DOGS RULE!!CSHOULD BE ANIMALSTRADDLE EVERYDAY!
– ALL A+ MEMBERS SHOULD GET MAILED WEEKLY A BIG BOX OF DOG TREATS. CHRISTINA PROBABLY WOULD APPROVE….
I WILL MAIL YOU ALL OF MY DOG TREATS EVERY WEEK SO MY PARENT STOPS LOOKING AT ME WHILE HOLDING A TREAT AND SAYING “SIT” LIKE……… I’M NOT HUNGRY???????? what’s going on
Carol you are a genius.
Animalstraddle’s editorial notes highlight diverse perspectives on animal welfare and conservation. I find their approach informative, addressing crucial issues like big dog clothing habitat preservation and ethical treatment. Their commitment to raising awareness through engaging content is commendable, promoting a deeper understanding and empathy towards our fellow inhabitants of the planet.