Feature image of Dove Cameron by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for GLAAD
I’ve missed you all!
Guess what, tonight is nacho night, and I am so excited!! What are you getting into?
Queer as in F*ck You
Dysphoria is real fucking hard. It’s hard for those of us who didn’t grow up in front of a camera and the face of the Disney Channel for an entire generation of people — so I cannot even begin to imagine. I don’t have anything to add, other than all my love to Dove Cameron. (There seems to be other passages that were maybe edited out the post as today went on.) ❤️
I’m currently obsessed with one thing, and that is the Queer as Folk Reboot Trailer. (I still don’t know if I agree with the Pulse-like storyline decision, warning for those who watch the trailer, but I was sold by the end)
Ok I know this is symbolic more than anything, but I don’t care — it’s great!! Audre Lorde, my actual personal hero, is getting her own street in New York!!! A Celebration of Audre Lorde Way
New Rainbow 50P Coin Celebrating 50 Years of Pride in UK Unveiled.
Sports Broadcaster Megan Barnard Opens Up After Being Outed by Now-Fired Colleague
Eileen Myles Watches Over an Ever-Changing New York. “Now guarding trees in Lower Manhattan, the poet and author of ‘Chelsea Girls’ says: ‘Things that might have once been corny to me don’t feel corny anymore.'”
Saw This, Thought of You
EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL PLAY, FUCK YES. USWNT, MNT Get Equal WC Money in New CBAs. “The unions for the USWNT and USMNT have ratified new CBAs with the U.S. Soccer Federation that include an equal split of World Cup bonuses.”
Ummm… excuse me!?!?
“Autostraddle’s SLICK Series
Autostraddle is the world’s most influential independent website for queer women and nonbinary people, and it’s 100% owned and run by queer women. In addition to its editorial content about all things sex and relationships, the site features its very own erotica series SLICK. Every SLICK story is written and edited by queer people, and the stories promise “titillation, torture, fucking, and getting off,” according to the website.
In order to read SLICK stories, you need to be a member of Autostraddle’s A+ membership club. It costs $4 a month, and for that price you get access to all the A+ content on the site—not just the erotica—such as advice columns, personal essays about a wide plethora of lesbian and queer issues, and discount codes.”
11 Places To Find Extremely Hot Erotica Made Specifically For Women, thank you to the A+ member who shouted us out in this piece!! I ferociously believe in erotica for women and queer folks. Yall go read some!
Political Snacks
From Himani: “Well.. here is another heartbreakingly grim read re: abortion from your resident nihilist…” Doctors in Alabama Already Turn Away Miscarrying Patients. This Will Be Our New Normal Across the Country.
Related, “Medication abortion is approved by the FDA, so for many people, if abortion becomes illegal the question about self-managing abortion is more one of criminal risk than medical risk.” What Self-Managed Abortion Looks Like Now — And How an End to Roe v. Wade Could Change It
Honestly, I was worried about QaF getting a reboot but this actually looks pretty good. I’m intrigued. Wish it wasn’t on Peacock though. Is that another service I’m going to have to pay for to watch it? I already pay for a lot of these streaming services as it is.
I’m surprised there’s nothing about Amber Heard in this round up. It seems like the entire internet has gone insane and want her to burn at the stake, despite the overwhelming evidence she was telling the truth the whole time and D*pp is a horrific abuser. I’m seeing more and more people and news outlets posting in support of her and I’ve definitely noticed the silence here on AS. It bums me out because she’s part of our community and she’s getting no support or solidarity.
Oddly enough the most thoughtful and compassionate community is the Deuxmoi subreddit – they have a really good master thread that uses actual evidence to debunk the false rumors and popular narratives of “mutual abuse” and “they’re both toxic”. A woman who fights back is not guilty of “mutual abuse”. She was abused, and now he’s humiliating her by making her relive it in front of the entire world, because he’s convinced he’s so charming and powerful he’ll get away with it. It’s sickening.
Same, actually. Princess Weekes made a really great video about the whole thing, including the ways in which Heard’s identity as a bisexual woman plays into everything.
I can appreciate it’s triggering stuff that AS readers may not wish to engage with, or that AS might not want to contribute to treating the whole thing as a media spectacle (and I have a lot of sympathy for that stance) but maybe a little note or something at the bottom of the post might be helpful.
Princess Weekes’ video is amazing and just hits every point.
Also, AS HAS posted triggering content before, has dealt with media spectacles before, and has also dealt with trolls in replies before, so I don’t buy this as an excuse.
I was sinking the same thing, honestly especially with how much homophobia factors into her abuse…
It feels like Autostraddle and other queer places always talk about biphobia but then with the biggest example we have playing out in real time there’s silence? I mean, I guess it’s not as entertaining as the usual ‘oh I am het married why do people not see me as queer’ essay we’ve gotten since the beginning of time.
(^^This is mean and snippy but I am so disgusted by the lack of solidarity people have for Amber Heard and the radio silence)
It’s bananas. Even allegedly women’s or progressive outlets are running the both-sides-are-flawed or wait-for-the-verdict outcomes and completely ignoring that D*pp lost the first lawsuit he brought because the judge ruled a dozen of her abuse claims were substantially true.
Every time I go on twitter to look at animal pics- pro-JD tags trending.
Every time I go on youtube to look at an exercise video- pro-JD video on the homepage or in the recommendations. and I don’t even click on them.
Yesterday Vice published an article about the Daily Wire promoting biased coverage*. It feels like g*merg*te for a new online generation, and JD’s fellow scumbag friend has already filed a similar lawsuit against Evan Rachel Wood for talking about what he did to her. These harassment suits are not going away anytime soon.
* https://www.vice.com/en/article/3ab3yk/daily-wire-amber-heard-johnny-depp
I think a lot of us have wanted to ignore the media circus but as time goes on it’s clear that this trial is having a huge cultural impact, it will harm domestic violence survivors for years to come, and biphobia is a big part of it. I wonder if AS doesn’t want to deal with the inevitable flood of hatred from Depp supporters given that they’re an independent operation with limited resources. Maybe folks could do a roundup of non-horrible coverage in the comments?
I hadn’t thought about this wrt Autostraddle, but this is a good point and I’d really love to see quality content about that here. I’ve been *floored* by how this has gone down. I was telling a friend the other day about how traumatizing I was finding it seeing trash about it popping up on instagram, and it took me a hard beat to understand he was serious when he was like, “yeahhh, they do seem to have been really toxic to each other”. I had to lecture him on what was actually happening and that the instagram mob is not a reliable source, and I’m not totally sure he completely believed me. I’ve even seen like, generally very compassionate and reasonable professional therapy accounts or whatever saying they’re not going to take a side. As if the abuse that happened is not completely horrific and with vast quantities of evidence. The Cut is the only place I’ve seen that’s seemed *relatively* safe and reasonable about it.
I thought long and hard about commenting on this because I don’t want to make this about me, but I also don’t want assumptions made in the dark about Autostraddle to continue through the weekend and until our next link round up, so I hope yall will bear with me.
The truth is that I haven’t been online much since Saturday and am slowly inching back to work. As a lot of yall will know (because its in my bio, and I’ve written about it before) — I’m from Buffalo, NY. Sharing with the internet that I was visiting home when last weekend’s hate crime occurred wasn’t what I thought I’d do in the comment section of a link round up, but here we are.
So I haven’t been much online, as I’ve been attending to my mental health and my family’s mental health (we are physically all safe, which is a blessing). The link round ups are composed of both my own online interest and what I’ve read and found compelling, along with links shared by our team that they’ve read or found compelling. The Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial has not come up in those channels where we compile links, and because I haven’t been online and dealing with a crisis in my community — I was also not aware of how it’s grown.
Having talked with the senior team now, it does appear that part of why it hasn’t come up in our workplace is what’s been mentioned here, we don’t want to contribute to a media circus unless we have something helpful and productive to say. We also have been moving forward with the good faith assumption that our readers know us, trust us, and know our stance is always with survivors of abuse.
That said, I can understand (having learned more this afternoon) how this is a very frustrating experience to be witnessing online and craving a space to talk about it. We’ve taken note and had a good conversation about that in our office. Next week I’ll make a point to include some more specific Amber Heard links and we’re on the lookout for a well researched, thought out, piece to publish that we feel can take seriously the gravity of what’s been happening.
So just a general reminder that we’re real people behind these accounts, and this is a very hard and fucked up time, and just because you haven’t seen something — that doesn’t necessarily mean worst intentions. Thanks to everyone for reading the link round up and sharing your thoughts.
You and your family deserve all the care right now. You consistently give us your best; you don’t owe it to us to push through no matter what.
For anyone else – Carmen, I don’t think you need to read this – here’s a piece about how survivors have been affected and a reminder to reach out to friends who may need extra support this week.
Thanks so much for the reply, Carmen. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Also just to clarify, I wasn’t trying to call you (or anyone else) out personally – it’s just something I’ve noticed from the site in general and I wanted to voice my support for Amber and all the other survivors who are having an incredibly rough time right now. And I want to echo the comment above from xx who mentioned Evan Rachel Wood: MM and Depp are good friends and the Deppheads are already coming for her online.
Love to literally everyone right now!
Sending you and your family and community a lot of love Carmen. (((hugs))) <3 <3 <3
So sorry for what you’re dealing with, and if this conversation added stress. I definitely don’t blame Autostraddle or particular writers or columns for not including particular content – of course there is so much going on, and it’s not owed anyway. Content about the trial is something I’d really appreciate seeing on the site if it is possible, because I tend to find Autostraddle-written and -recommended content to be really valuable, but of course there are plenty of reasons why it might not be possible to cover it.
I may be missing something, but why is the Dove Cameron post interpreted as being about gender instead of being about a general existential crisis?
The word “dysphoria” in her post seems to be referring to its general meaning of mental distress. It’s true these days that the word is most commonly used to talk about gender dysphoria, and that phrase often gets shortened to just the word “dysphoria”, but gender dysphoria is only one specific type.
Yes, Chandra also addressed this, but I used “dysphoria” in my post because that’s the word that Cameron explicitly used her Instagram. I did not use “gender dysphoria” specifically because, well, she did not. And I want to be careful and respectful of her word choices.
I feel the exact same way as Cameron most days. The chronic pain, the Aspergers, the anxiety and the resulting depression has left me suicidal, bitter and deeply unhappy.
If there is any happiness, it is only fleeting.
And it doesn’t stop. 😢😢
Sending you a lot of love, Emma.
Hi there is a self help mutual aid group called Recovery International that has meetings, mine is over the telephone, and these meetings have helped the depression I have had.
Also there is a free course online on how to be a peer specialist and that has information about other groups. There are 12 step groups that can be helpful too. You don’t have to suffer all alone.
Thanks for the info, Lin. There are so many of us feeling desperate and sad (or desperately sad). We are not alone, but we feel alone and those feelings can take over.
When I have the distance to reflect on my particularly desperate states of mind, I often remember excerpts from Hothead Paisan (by Diane DiMassa). In particular, when Hothead feels like she doesn’t want to be here anymore, two sterotypical old, white, hateful men show up on the tv screen (in her head) and encourage her – and all the freaks like her – to do it, to kill themselves. That reminds me how ESPECIALLY important it is for those us who sometimes feel suicidal to stick around and be here for ourselves, each other and the world.
(Hothead Paisan is a lesbian feminist comic originally published in zine form in the 90’s and then compiled into books. Highly recommended, may be (certainly will be) triggering, definitely cathartic, ultimately hopeful, also hot and has cats, start at the beginning of the series to really understand the main character.)
i also feel weird about the QAF season being centered around an act of violence! I guess we’ll see how it goes?
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