Homemade Weed Lube Will Get Your Love Pocket Stoned For Valentine’s Day
feature image via shutterstock.com
Raise your hand if Valentine’s Day is just a flimsy excuse for you to expand your sex toy collection. Or perhaps if you’re single, you use the Hallmark-generated holiday to indulge in some extra self-care. Whatever the case may be, this easy DIY weed lube is the perfect way to pamper your love pocket* on V-Day.
Weed lube won’t get you high in the traditional sense. Smoking or vaping allows marijuana to be absorbed into your bloodstream immediately, but it doesn’t have the same psychoactive effects applied topically. Apply the cannabis-infused lubricant as a “pre-lube” about 45 minutes prior to getting down and dirty. I use this as an excuse to prolong foreplay, first letting my partner rub the lube all over my nether regions. Then I flip onto my stomach and we use it as a massage oil while waiting for it to take effect. When it does you’ll be flooded with warm, tingling sensations as blood flows to your private parts, allowing for heightened orgasms. The high can last for hours, and if you’re as generous with the lube as I am, you can count on being pretty slippery by the end of it.
I got my original recipe from here, but have amended it over time. Feel free to play with the ingredients and see what works best for you!
How To Make DIY Weed Lube
1. Combine the following ingredients in a crockpot:
- 1 cup liquid coconut oil
- 1 gram hash (Note: you can use 1 cup decarboxylated trim or buds instead, but I’ve cooked with hash in the past and find it easier to work with.)
2. Simmer, stirring regularly, for three to four hours.
3. Transfer the liquid into a large bowl and cool in the refrigerator.
Optional: Add a few drops of your preferred essential oil (lavender is a personal favorite) before refrigeration.
4. Once the liquid begins to solidify (after about 30 minutes) take out your beaters and whip it real good until it’s nice and smooth.
5. Transfer into a small glass jar and label accordingly.
6. Storage depends on your preference, but I like keeping it in the refrigerator and taking it out approximately half an hour before sexy times begin. Just make sure that it’s out of reach of children and pets.
And voila, you’re done! The entire recipe should run you about $20 and yields I don’t even know how many servings since I’m still using my first batch that I made over a year ago. I test it frequently (for science) and can confirm that potency remains the same. If you’re not into DIY, there are plenty of brands that will make weed lube for you. California and Colorado residents can check out Foria Pleasure for similar products.
As if weed-induced orgasms weren’t enough, you can also use the lube for topical pain management on menstrual cramps and similar muscle aches and pains. Simply rub it on the affected area until you feel relief and reapply as needed.
Happy orgasms — I mean, Valentine’s Day! Wink wink.
Safety precaution: This lube should not be used with latex condoms as coconut oil causes latex to degrade.
* With thanks to Luvvie Ajayi of AwesomelyLuvvie.com for coining the term “love pocket.”