If you follow me on Twitter dot com, you have probably seen photos of me as a child. Specifically, you have seen my school yearbook photos. Here’s a refresher:
mom: why'd it take u so long to tell me ur gay? me: what r u talkin bout I tried to tell u every year on picture day pic.twitter.com/IobsFKFtSa
Look how cute I was! And how gay I was! And yet, I didn’t come out to myself or others until I was 20ish. I was, admittedly, very bad at pretending to be straight, as evidenced by my fashion choices ages 0-20.
So I ask you, my friends: Did I ever look straight once in my life? You decide!
Check out my sensible collection of overalls.My first girlfriendIs this how you heterosexual?Gotta love a classic denim-on-denim outfit!Just a straight cowgirl, nothing to see hereWhy yes, I am indeed wearing a Ricky Martin tour shirt whilst craftingI was the pitcher, baby!I hear fannypacks and park ranger hats are all the rage in straight fashion.Do not question my head-to-toe rainbow pattern.Let us all take a moment to reflect on the fact that my mother was surprised when I came out.The girl in this photo became my rival when she beat me out for the role of the mouse king in The Nutcracker. Is that gay?Taken at Vacation Bible School!More school pics!In the photo on the right, I am wearing my softball jersey UNDER my basketball jersey.I started wearing vests because Jennifer Morrison on House M.D. wore vests.I used power tools shortly after this photo was taken.WAS I TRYING TO BE BETTE PORTER?Is this straight?Are these camo Keds straight?
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.
