Quiz: Decorate a House and I’ll Tell You Your Toxic Trait

In the wise words of Britney Spears: “You’re toxic.”

And now you can find out exactly why you’re toxic by taking this quiz I pitched originally as a joke and then decided to actually write, because who doesn’t love being bullied by an internet personality quiz? I know I do!!!!!

Also, this quiz is definitely meant to be in good fun! I promise I am only calling you out in the gentlest of ways. Every single toxic trait represented in the results of this quiz is something either I am guilty of myself or someone I love dearly is guilty of. I do not find any of these traits actually harmful, bad, or wrong. “Toxic” is one of those words that has become overused and misused and memed to the point it could mean anything!!!!! Think of this quiz like the meanest Co-Star notifications you get.

Okay, just wanted to get that out of the way so no one’s feelings are hurt! Now go decorate a fantasy home!

You've hired a home designer and interior decorator to help you with your dream house. (We love aspirational domestic fantasy!) What description do you use to tell them your overall aesthetic?(Required)

Instagram-ready minimalism

Fun, maximalist, eccentric chaos

Farmhouse chic

Crunchy queer/dirtbag chic

Beach house kitsch

Gothic/dark academia/etc

Barbie Dreamhouse vibes

Things that look expensive

A combination of luxury and homey touches

What does the entrance to your house look like?(Required)

The outside of a house matters, too! How would you describe your landscaping for this fantasy home?(Required)

English garden vibes

Overgrown and colorful

Woodland vibes

You have a massive backyard with not a lot of plants but there is one big tree, a fire pit, and a hammock

Tropical plants and trees that are great accents for your pool

You have a special greenhouse where you grow rare plants

You have a massive veggie garden

Yolanda Hadid’s sprawling lemon grove

Perfectly manicured topiaries and florals

What is the most important room of your house?(Required)

The reading nook

The backyard

The kitchen

The basement

The home office

Your bedroom

The guest room/spare bedroom

The living room

The dining room

Where is most of the furniture and decor for your house coming from?(Required)

IKEA

Vintage stores

You’re going to build it

Facebook marketplace

Target

You’re having it built by friends/local woodworkers

A queer-owned small business

West Elm

Crate and Barrel

Pick a mirror:(Required)

Pick some stuff to put on your dining table:(Required)

Pick a couch:(Required)

Pick a color palette for your bedroom:(Required)

What statement piece do you have placed on your mantel?(Required)

A neon sign

A lava lamp

A carved wooden figure of your pet

Your own artwork

A decorative fish

A candelabra

A painting of yourself

An arrangement of fresh flowers in a large vase that you refresh weekly

Art by a local queer artist

What home from queer television do you find the most appealing?(Required)

Gigi’s apartment on Generation Q

Shibden Hall on Gentleman Jack

Denise and Alicia’s house in Master Of None: Moments In Love

Villanelle’s Paris apartment on Killing Eve

Bly Manor on Bly Manor

Riverdale’s Thornhill

Otis/Jean’s house on Sex Education

Adult Taissa’s apartment on Yellowjackets

Laura Peterson’s apartment on The Morning Show

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