This recap contains spoilers for Couple to Throuple 104-106.

On Peacock’s Couple to Throuple, the thirds are finally having thirds.

Last week’s cliffhanger was a trick! Rehman and Ashmal have actually decided to keep Jonathan. And it turns out, unlike last week’s rules where Sanu had to leave Sean and Brittne, the thirds now do have a say in if they want to stay with their couple. Jonathan stays. Good boy.

At its core, Couple to Throuple is a poly twist on the monogamous format of international juggernaut Love Island. In trying to differentiate itself with new twists and rules, it’s just lowering the stakes for the viewer. Love Island is chaos but it’s chaos with a set of rules. If it ain’t broke, babes, don’t fix it, yeah?

Instead here on this reality dating show, we get host Scott Evans coming in like your scatterbrained friend trying to teach you a card game while you’re both drunk. Um, actually, oh wait, no sorry… I forgot to tell you the red card has to go above the blue card…

Novios or Novios

Post swap ceremony, Lauren and Dylan are thrilled to have “a brighter energy” in Mia. JAR (Jonathan, Ashmal and Rehman) decide they’re going to chill out on touching and then there’s a very obvious nighttime handjob. Corey and Denyse make out with Corey holding her wrists. (Hot.) Sean, Brittne and Darrien agree about rotating who is in the middle of the bed.

In the morning, Ashmal asks Jonathan how you say “boyfriends” in Spanish. (Novios.) Keep this in mind. This is foreshadowing the way the shark music indicates Jaws is coming to Amity.

Speaking of beaches, there’s a new game down at the beach! Two unmatched singles join each couple to see if the couples are more compatible with their third or with another single.

The questions range from “do you pee in the shower?” (Sean says he heard it is good for your feet) to “Would they ever have sex in a public place?” Both Rehman and Ashmal and Lauren and Dylan have had sex during airport layovers. In the family bathrooms.

“That’s why I couldn’t breastfeed my baby,” Shamyra jokes.

And, on the topic of babies, they’re then asked if they want to have kids. Only Corey and Wilder say no, and only Becca matches them. Their third Denyse however says yes to parenthood. Mama mia!

Meanwhile, not-a-literal-baby baby Mia! is stressed because she wants her answers to perfectly match Lauren and Dylan’s. She’s not concerned about if they reflect who she really is, only that they are “right” in L and D’s eyes. I am guilty of this. I try so hard to make my partners love me I forget to ask myself if I love them. I’m working on it. So Mia wins the game, but at what cost?

After the beach, CWD (Corey, Wilder, Denyse) decide they need to talk about the deep stuff. Denyse explains that she is open to kids, but it’s not a life goal. Corey and Wilder agree. It was just a misunderstanding. They’re all good. The show keeps trying to get these three to crack and they just won’t give into the drama.

All the throuples go on romantic dates. In private, Rehman says he hasn’t felt this way since he met Ashmal – in front of Ashmal. At the table, he cries. I was worried there were no lesbians on this show, but it turns out Rehman has that covered.

The problem in the DSB (Darrien, Sean, Brittne) throuple is still the lack of physical touch. The whole time, B hasn’t kissed anyone other than Sean and Sean has only kissed Sanu in a challenge. Maybe they’re just monogamous! That’s an okay thing to be!

There’s a box on the table with more compatibility questions. “How often do you want to have sex in a week?” Denyse and Wilder say 21 times. Corey sighs, “In that way, you two are very compatible.” Corey feels ashamed to say once a day. Wilder laughs because that is still a lot of sex.

Mia is also not a hypersexual person. Lauren looks disappointed. The last question just says “Use your mouth.” Mia makes a face at Dylan asking her to kiss Lauren. In the interviews, Dylan describes her as “conservative.” When she expresses excitement to cuddle, Lauren and Dylan both mock her in private for wanting a sleepover party. It’s so mean.

Darrien kisses both of her partners on the hand. Jonathan kisses Rehman and then Ashmal. Rehman says, “I’m gonna sit here in my compersion.”

Wilder has compersion watching Denyse kiss the inside of Corey’s thighs. Corey suggests threeway naked hanky panky in the pool. When Wilder and Denyse make out, Corey grimaces, “See, you guys are just at another level, which is fine.” D and W stop cold. Denyse looks rightfully confused at Corey’s comment.

Corey, it seems, has somehow not noticed that Denyse definitely prefers her to her boyfriend. How could she miss that??

Corey calls time. In his interview, Wilder acknowledges he has issues with self control but he knows what is at stake if he doesn’t work on that. I keep waiting for someone to start yelling or get defensive, but it never happens. Corey feels guilty for slowing down. Wilder and Denyse insist that neither of them are enjoying hooking up if Corey isn’t also enjoying it. Okay, whew.

“Meeting adjourned!” Wilder says. Corey and Denyse kiss.

At bedtime, JAR are fucking and it is very hot to watch, thus feeding into the trope that the more toxic the relationship, the better the sex.

Jonathan worries Rehman’s emotional 180 is too good to be true and he expresses that. Having previously loosened up due to all the sex, (pun intended) Rehman’s body language hardens (pun intended). His rejection sensitive Spidey senses are tingling.

Couple to Throuple Gets Genderqueer

That next night, there’s a Garden of Eden themed mixer. Lauren and Dylan want to change Mia out for the sexy Jess, who Dylan says has “boss-ass energy.” Lauren is bored by Mia and wants a thrill. I hate them.

Rehman and Ashmal flirt with Frank. Peach confronts Brittne and Sean about leading her on.

A new couple arrives. Wait… there are new couples? That can arrive??

What are the rules of this game??

Doesn’t matter because THANK GAY GOD it’s Maximo and Ash.

Maximo is a swishy nonbinary pansexual who uses all pronouns. Ash does too. She is tiny and stylish. “Our love throws gender norms out the window,” she says. They’ve always been poly, but never dated as a couple. Never even had a threesome. Maximo was mostly dating men and Ashley was dating women when they met. Ashley took Maximo’s bottom virginity with her strap. They are fantastic.

There’s a difference between gay and queer, baby, and Ashimo are QUEER. Sean, who has never met a nonbinary person before, admires that Maximo’s masculine and feminine sides “both shined equally.” Maximo is really moved and affirmed by that.

Maximo and Ashley can choose one of the singles to join them for the night in a paradise suite. They choose Junior, who is 700 ft tall, and everyone cheers.

They all three kiss in the shower and then Junior LIFTS THEM BOTH UP. At once. On either side of him. He lifts both Maximo and Ash IN HIS ARMS AT ONCE. My heart is racing. I am opening Feeld as I type this. SZA was right.

The next morning, Ashmal calls Jonathan their “boyfriend” in front of everyone at breakfast.

RECORD SCRATCH THE HOUSE DOWN BOOTS FOR YOUR NERVES (as Ashley and Maximo would probably say). The music cue literally includes the sound of a jail cell slamming.

In his interview, Jonathan is like “BOYFRIEND???” giving us the poly version of Alyssa Edwards’ “Backrolls?!”

Jonathan wants to talk about this. “Boyfriend” means a lot. He asks if Rehman has spent time with Ashmal’s family. He has not really. Jonathan says if his family wants to see him, they have to accept who he’s dating. If A hasn’t brought Rehman around, how could he bring two boyfriends? The conversation affirms a long-standing insecurity in Rehman. This is…. not a slay (as Ashley and Maximo would probably say).

Ashimo go on a date with Becca. It’s going so well that Ash says she is “gagged and gooped and gagged.” (Told you.) Becca became poly after getting cheated on. She wasn’t mad about the cheating, only about the lying. When they first opened up their relationship, both A and M were only allowed to be with their same sex, but that didn’t last. They all threeway kiss. I love these two with Becca but I hope they have room for a fourth. (Me.)

Hot and Heavy Heartbreak

In the woods, the couples are in the hot seat, literally, because they’re at a sweat lodge.

There’s a medicine woman there but I can’t tell if she’s a paid actor. I hate when they do this faux spiritual Indigenous charade on reality shows. As if agreeing with me, Rehman spikes the camera. His sex-based relaxation has evaporated like the water on the hot stones in this problematic tent.

Love coach Shamyra says the fumes will enhance “truth telling” and Jonathan worries: “I don’t know if being 100% honest is always the right thing to do.” Yep. But they’re gonna force it anyway.

Darrien wants to know how Brittne and Sean would feel if she kissed someone else. They would not like it. Wrong answer.

Jonathan asks Ashmal if they have more of an emotional connection and asks Rehman if they have more of a physical connection. Ashmal agrees. Rehman feels like he’s opened up to Jonathan in a way he usually doesn’t. He’s confused as to how J doesn’t see that.

Ashmal says the good thing about throupledom is that it’s three people sharing the emotional responsibilities and needs. Sure. But that doesn’t work if one person is speaking German, the other Japanese, and the other… a language that is only spoken on the third moon of Jupiter every other lunar cycle.

On a positive note, Denyse asks if Corey and Wilder want her to be their girlfriend! And they say, yes and that she beat them to the same question. Wilder holds out a chivalrous hand and Corey can barely stop giggling long enough to say, “I think that’d be really cool.”

“I have a girlfriend,” Denyse exclaims, because she is in love with Corey and feels fine about Wilder. “I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend!”

At breakfast, CDW announce that they are “throuple official!” It makes everyone emotional over their own situations.

Rehman, who a couple episodes ago, didn’t want anything about his jealousy aired at breakfast is imploding in front of everyone at breakfast. Rehman says A and J bond, but he doesn’t feel they’ve created a space for him to also share. Ashmal talks a lot. Jonathan talks a lot. Neither of them ever turns to him and says, “And what about you?” He feels invisible.

In his interviews, Ashmal says, “You don’t share your feelings or when you do you’re barking them.” That’s gonna go over well at home. (If these two are still together.)

Talking alone with Ashmal, Rehman says the QUINTESSENTIAL kiss of death comment for all of my previous relationships: “If we didn’t care about each other this much, we wouldn’t be working on these things and going through these difficult times.”

This works when the ‘difficult times’ are a sick parent or a natural disaster, but when the ‘difficult times’ are just you… at a tropical resort in paradise with hot people all around? It just shouldn’t be that difficult.

Jonathan says once again that “outside of this resort, I really wouldn’t put up with this.” Ashmal agrees he and R are a red flag as a couple. “If I don’t want to be your second, how the hell is he gonna wanna be your third?” Ashmal says in his interview. (Again, you are on TV, my dude.)

At the swapping ceremony, Maximo and Ash choose Becca.

L and D swap Mia. Everyone is, as Ash would say, gooped and gagged. This really highlights how shitty Lauren and Dylan are. They choose Jess and while Lauren is hugging Mia goodbye she whispers, “Remember it’s not forever, ok?” In her interview, Mia says, “If they wanna taste some other flavors and then be certain that I am the one then I trust it.”

That’s not what L and D are doing. It’s clear they haven’t told Mia the truth about why they’re swapping.

Darrien stays, hoping she, Sean and Brittne get more sexual. “I don’t feel comfortable kissing them when I’ve barely seen them kiss each other,” she says. Later, B and S say they want to kiss Darrien, it just has to happen naturally.

As for CWD: In a hilarious show of reality TV moment wizardry, Denyse stands up and Wilder throws the chair she was sitting on into the pool. They don’t need to swap anymore. Denyse is it for them. Wilder is a producer! Able to provide the clips the show needs on his own terms, not when they manipulate him into it. Brilliant. No notes.

Rehman and Ashmal want to stay with Jonathan, but he chokes up as he tells them he doesn’t think he’s the right single for them. Rehman, who J and A say is so hard to read, is clearly devastated. His emotions sit tight in his jawline.

Sadie and Frank step forward to recouple with Ashmal and Rehman. In a nod to how chaotic the thirds are itching to be, Mia also wants to step forward for the boys, but is worried it’s too crazy. She does it anyway.

Adding another new rule no one knew about (because why not?) host Scott tells them they can go back to the resort just the two of them and reassess. Ashmal wants to pick Frank. Rehman is confused as to how he can jump to someone new so quickly. They decide to go home alone.

Back in their room, the oh-so-mysterious Rehman is clearly grieving Jonathan. He might not say much but his face gives it away every time. He’s really not that stoic. He goes into the bedroom and turns Jonathan’s photo around on their mantle. He curls up and sobs.

The Winners of Couple to Throuple?

The communication challenge the next day is pitching a tent. Corey, Denyse, and Wilder finish first. Lauren, Dylan, and Jess are working efficiently but separately. They’re succeeding but not communicating. Darrien, Brittne, and Sean are failing miserably but can’t stop laughing. They give up. Sean says, “The goal isn’t about getting your tent up. It’s really about communicating with your partners and we knew that from the very beginning.” (Brittne did not know that.)

Ashmal and Rehman do a great job with their tent and leap into each other’s arms in happiness, their every problem healed by the magic of REI.

Maximo, Becca, and Ash who finished second are judged by Scott and Shamyra to be the winners of best communication. On their dream date prize, Becca says she never wants to feel like a third intruding. Maximo says, “You’re an additional partner. Fuck a third.” Equal love all around, they say. Do you see what happens when the gender freaks arrive? Progress. (Even Ashmal and Rehman are in better spirits around Ash and Maximo because of their shared queerness.)

However, that doesn’t stop Maximo from snakin’ around. He likes Becca but is she the one? He hits on Darrien. He’s also into Jonathan. People are starting to step on toes. Let’s fucking go.

And trying to go are Corey, Denyse and Wilder. They’re leaving! Denyse declares herself the winner of the show for finding a boyfriend and a girlfriend. The three gather everyone and tell them they have found what they came for and are going home together. Everyone says that this proves the show works. Throuple love is real!

If there is some other nefarious reason for CDW’s exit, it’s not like the show would tell us. Having one guaranteed success story only halfway through is a way better look for a first run of a format. So. Hooray?

That night is a masquerade ball. Ashmal wants Frank. Rehman wants Jonathan back. As the show flounders in the wake of CDW’s exit, they bring in… Olivia and Brody. Olivia is a hot blonde with no visible personality and Brody is made to look awkward by music and editing. They are not a couple but two new singles. This is a bad idea. We could have had a shake up with another couple coming in and more singles merging into throuples – but adding two singles just gives us more people to ignore on screen.

Without knowing how close he is with Becca, Maximo and Ash hit on Jonathan. Jonathan doesn’t give them the red light to their face, but he does later snitch.

Mia confronts Dylan and Lauren saying, “It does feel a little bit like oh we’re gonna pick you up and play with you and then put you down and pick someone else up and then maybe if we like you more we’ll pick you up and play with you again.” Lauren and Dylan are offended even though that is exactly what they did while telling us that’s what they were doing. They came to this experience “for us.” Great, then leave everyone else alone.

Just as Rehman and Ashmal are singing Frank’s praises, Jonathan comes over and apologizes for blindsiding them. PLOT TWIST: Right before he dumped them, Jonathan was all over Rehman. They show footage of them kissing moments before disaster. That’s why Rehman was so upset. The show is working overtime to make his reactions seem disproportionate. Damn.

Jonathan thinks Ashmal is over it and ready to move on. Ashmal is like, bro, you swapped us!!

Backed into a corner, Ashmal says he does want to make the three of them work. As R and J hug, Rehman whispers, “I miss you so, so much,” into Jonathan’s shoulder.

Maximo and Ash go after Darrien, who wants space to explore outside of B and S. Sean spots Ash holding Darrien’s waist and says he did not expect that to happen today. Smitten Becca also didn’t expect it and she’s jealous. Loyal Jonathan pulls her aside and tells her M and A also hit on him. Becca says if they don’t bring that up to her themselves then it shows their character. It’s an honesty and transparency test. If they fail, Becca is leaving.

Randomly in the middle of the party, host Scott says Rehman and Ashmal have to pick a new third from the group that stepped forward for them before. Meaning they can’t pick Jonathan. What? Why?

They pick Frank.

Jonathan tells Becca that if his not-novios get intimate with Frank, even kiss him, he is 100% not coming back to them. Ay dios mio!

He has to communicate that to the boys before they go into their night with Frank!! But instead, he and Becca are Thelma and Louise-ing off the “testing without telling” cliff. The only conclusion is a very fabulous car crash.

New Relationship Energy:

+ Rehman has a tattoo that says, “My Girl Is A Lawyer,” which is the same tattoo Pete Davidson got for Kim Kardashian. Ashmal is a lawyer.

+ Maximo puts on Becca’s fake ponytail and prances around yelling, “I’m Ariana!” Becca mentions she saw Maximo’s douche upstairs. During the communication challenge, Becca says the last time she put together a tent she believed she was straight. It is really nice to see Becca get to be queer.

+ After a compatibility question about texting nudes, host Scott Evans says, “Sexting is almost like a handshake in some cultures.” In what cultures? Barry’s Boot Camp?

+ In the paradise suite, Maximo and Ash give Junior an alien baby doll to hold. This prompts him to ask how many kids they want. They say two. Junior wants eight.

+ Brittne says she hasn’t kissed Darrien because she doesn’t make the first move. She’s used to being pursued. Sean teases her, literally hooting, “HOTTIE ALERT! HOTTIE ALERT!” while pointing at her. He is such a dweeb for his woman. I hope B and S just walk off into the sunset alone. I hope they host the show next year.

Couple to Throuple episodes 104-106 are now streaming on Peacock.

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