Laura’s Team Pick:

You know that primal craving that comes to you in the middle of the night(/morning/afternoon)? Those diabetic whispers that nestle themselves comfortably in your ear singing, “sugar, sugarrrrrrrrr”? Well, I’ve found a new way to satiate my need for simple carbohydrates and its name is coffee cake in a mug.

Not only does it look beyond tasty, it is precious. Just think of all the girls you could bring to the yard with an owl full of coffee cake for them and only them.

In the interest of your future coffee-cake-making endeavors, I’ve assembled a list of mugs that you might want to consider getting so that you have the right mug for every occasion.+

The Erlenmeyer Flask Ideal for: Scientists, titration enthusiasts
Shakespearean Insults Mug Ideal for: MFA candidates, writers, rude time-travelling house guests
Chalkboard Mug Ideal for: Artists, MFA candidates, teachers
Toilet Mug Ideal for: your friends’ kids, obnoxious little brothers who love this kind of shit, frat boys
The Ball Jar Ideal for: Trendy food- and apartment-blog readers, hipsters, faux Sylvia Plath fans who won’t necessarily realize that her book was not called “The Ball Jar”
Disappearing Dinosaurs Mug Ideal for: Little boys, lesbians, your creationist neighbors, paleontologists
Stainless Steel Beer Mug Ideal for: Your enemies (for use in their microwave only)
Global Warming Mug Ideal for: Al Gore, climate-change deniers, Citizens of Kiribati
Shark Attack and Octopus Surprise Mugs Ideal for: Aquarium employees, people who live every week like its shark week, selachophiles
Doctor Who Mug Ideal for: Dr. Who fans, people who want to woo a Dr. Who fan