Liquor In the Gift Guide: Wine, Beer and Cocktails

In a semi-regular segment entitled Liquor In The ______ that can’t be too regular because I’m probably drinking right now, I’m going to write to you about all the different ways you can liquor. I recognize that it’s weird, especially for those of you who have actually had a drink with me, because I am what the frat boys would call a “two-beer queer” (what I would call a “no-beer queer,” as I’m gay all the live long day). But I get drunk very easily, is the point. Still, I really really like beer, wine and liquor and want to share that love for the artistry of alcohol with you all, my favorite queers. Let’s lift a pint to alcohol and our Autostraddle community – they go together like wine and soft cheese.

Header by Rory Midhani

I have many loves when it comes to alcohol. Which is kind of hysterical, because I actually don’t drink that much. But when I do, it’s always a toss up. I love wine, beer and cocktails equally. So when it came my turn to contribute to our Holigay Gift Guides, there were just so many things across the board I wanted to tell you existed and recommend that you get for your girlfriend/partner/person/parents/siblings/friends who like to drink, well. I couldn’t pick. I couldn’t pick just one road to go down. So I went down all three roads. My fellow queermos, I present to you the largest gift guide I have ever done.

Gift Ideas for the Wine Lover

You DECANT overlook the importance of a great decanter to a wine enthusiast. DECANT. Get it? Get it!? Get…no? Aside from the V1 Vacuum Decanter pictured above, here are 15 good ideas for the person your naughty list who loves them some wine. Numbers go from left to right, like you’re reading a book.

1. Moleskine Wine Journal, $17.35 — I’m such a huge fan of journaling your feelings, and wine is such a complex thing to have feelings about.

2. Rabbit Corkscrew, $45 — Basically it’s magic for your cork. Cork magic.

3. Parrot Corkscrew, $60 — This is the exact corkscrew my girlfriend and I used to open wine while we were in Napa. So I have strong positive feelings towards this corkscrew.

4. Handle Bar Mustache Corkscrew, $8.58 — I know you like this. I see you.

5. Bow Tie Glass Markers (set of 6), $4.99 — Dapper up your wine glass while also not mixing up your wine glasses.

6. Paşabahçe Red Wine Glasses (set of 16), $44 — Okay, I’m fully aware that there’s more than one type of red wine and that you don’t use the same glass for all of them. But for someone who doesn’t really have stemware and needs a lot of it fast (like a holigay party, for instance) this shape and size is kind of a catch all.

7. Paşabahçe White Wine Glasses (set of 16), $44 — Again, more than one kind of white wine, but a really good basic set.

8. Preservino Wine Saver Set (argon gas), $50.16 — So I was all set to recommend a vacu seal thing here, but then my girlfriend (who worked on a winery this harvest) informed me that wineries use argon gas to seal and preserve their wine. It’s apparently far superior to a vacuum seal!

9. Wine Enthusiast Private Preserve Wine Preservation Spray (argon gas), $11.64 — This is that same argon gas preservation at a lower price point – just make sure you grab stoppers to go with it. Stoppers much like…

10. Rabbit Wine Stoppers (set of 2), $5.50 …these stoppers. Perfect, plain, aren’t too tall so that you can still fit your white wine back in the fridge.

11. Toadstool Wine Bottle Stoppers, 9.99 — I’m letting my nerd show a little bit. These are absolutely on this gift guide because they remind me of Super Mario.

12. Wood Crate Wine Rack, $39.99 — Fun fact: if someone plans to keep wine more than six months, they’ve got to keep it laying on its side otherwise the cork will dry out. Just fyi.

13. Wright and Goebel Wine Club, $79/month — Pricey, but enjoyable. Also when I lived in Brooklyn, this is where I got all the liquor for my recipes – the staff is really lovely and knowledgable.

14. Wine Bow Ties (set of 4), $9.92 — If you’re planning to give wine this holigay season, that wine might identify as dapper and dandy. Just a thought.

15. Peg and Awl Cheese Palette and Knife, $34 — Beautiful wooden set, perfect for the pairing expert.

Gift Ideas for the Beer Drinker

I have strong beer feelings – one of those feelings is that beer should never be consumed out of the bottle it came in – thus the Libbey set of craft brew glasses. Here are 15 great ideas for the beer snob at your holigay party.

1. Brewing Starter Kit, $99.99 — This is the same one I asked for this Christmas. Just think, we could all brew together!

2. Amber bottles (24), $24.99 — Necessary for the home brewer.

3. Bottle Washer, $18.03 — Makes a home brewers life a billion times easier.

4. Meriwether Six Pack Carrier, $35 — Is adorable, can also be used at shops where “build your own six pack” is a thing.

5. The Complete Joy of Home Brewing by Charles Papazian, $15.82 — I own this! I am reading it! I like it!

6. Brooklyn Brewshop Every Day IPA Kit, $39.95 — Brooklyn Brewshop actually makes a ton of different kits – I chose this one because it’s right down the middle, taste-wise.

7. Walnut Bottle Opener, $14 — This seems like a hardware-esque, slightly masculine-of-center bottle opener.

8. Pub Coasters (set of 15), $5.99 — Bring a touch of British beer drinking into your life.

9. Mustache Beer Markers (set of 6), $10.99 — Okay, y’all know I say don’t drink beer out of the bottle it came in. But if you must, it might as well be with a mustache. Plus no more mixing up the bottles.

10. Many Varieties of Beer Poster, $25 — To hang in the corner of home reserved for brewing or drinking.

11. Craft Beer Club, $37.75/month — 12 bottles a month, 4 different beers. Variety is the spice of life.

12. Libbey Flight Set, $21 — Perfect for tasting those four different beers per month.

13. Beer Journal, $16.35 — Basically I’m recommending all the materials to start a beer tasting club.

14. Drink Local Craft Beer Tee, $25 — I’m not sure why there’s a lion on this shirt, but I’m digging it.

15. Wall-Mount (Vocabulary) Bear Bottle Opener, $13.99 — In my head, this is a wall-mounted bottle opener shaped like Marni in a bear costume.

Gift Ideas for the Cocktail Enthusiast

That, my friends, is basically a bar pocket knife. It’s a Bar10der 10-in-1 bar tool for $39.99, (by Quench Products) and it’s perfect for A-Camp next Spring! Take a look at all these other cocktail-related gift ideas for the Maddow in your life.

1. Cocktail Revolution Molecular Mixology Kit, $58.95 — For those whose two loves are chemistry and drinking.

2. Cocktail Hour Notebooks, $10 — Pocket-sized recipe notebooks with adorable covers.

3. Boston Shaker, $25.32 — I always recommend a Boston Shaker over any other kind of shaker because it’s so versatile. You can use the top as a mixing glass, even.

4. OXO Hawthorne Strainer, $7.95 — This is the exact strainer I have and it seems to magically fit shakers of different sizes? I’m convinced it’s a wizard object.

5. OXO Double Jigger, $8.95 — This is the exact double jigger I have, and I didn’t know how much I’d appreciate the no-slip grip on it until I was covered in alcohol and mixers and realized exactly how slippery things could get.

6. SPARQ Soapstone Whiskey Rocks, $20-$25 — If you want to cool your whiskey down but don’t want to water it down. Also works fabulously for white wine that’s not as cold as you’d like.

7. Zoku Ice Ball Set, $16.95 — Fun fact:more surface area means more cooling with less melting. That’s why ice spheres are so wonderful.

8. Brandy Glasses (set of 4), $15.96 — Also good for many whiskeys (tulip shaped with a stem).

9. Whiskey Tasting Game, $50 — I know it’s no substitute for Alex and I leading a whiskey tasting on the mountain, but this is probably a pretty close second.

10. Cupa Whiskey Tumbler (set of 2), $50 — I thought this was a cute take on the rocks glasses whiskey is normally served in.

11. Bittermens Hellfire Habanero Shrub Bitters, $20.35 — This is like hot sauce for your cocktail. I put that shit on everything.

12. Fee Brother’s Bitters (set of 6), $49.99 — I love love love Fee Brothers bitters. Their orange bitters are a staple in most of my summery drinks.

13. Hudson Whiskey Barrel Aged Cocktail Kit, $12.50 — Barrel aged cocktails are on the rise, trend-wise. I just got one of these – put a Manhattan in it. Trust me.

14. Mr. Boston Official Bartenders’ Guide, $6.76 — When I’m doing a drink, this is my go-to jumping off point. Plus I think it’s pretty and looks classy with the barware.

15. Mercury Glass Bar Tools Set, $34.99 — Put these on a silver tray from Goodwill and bam, you’ve just given someone a bar for the holigays.

I think, after creating this monster guide, I know why I think wine/beer/cocktail stuff feels like such a wonderful gift. It’s almost like you’re giving the gift of tradition – wine, beer and liquor-making is such a historical thing. Many recipes and practices have been passed down, generation to generation. The art of tasting has, too. And the art of drinking as a community – it feels like you’re giving the gift of friendship – of your group sitting around a roaring fire drinking red wine and shooting the shit. So Happy Holigays, queerloves. Cheers.

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Holigay Gift Guide 2013: Accessories For Your Lovely Bikes And Your Even Lovelier Faces

Welcome to the second installment of a dedicated biking column, where we’ll discuss the joys and perils of getting in – okay, on – the saddle. Here we’ll talk how-tos, gear guides, politics and history, travelling and anything else that comes to mind – all while making terrible jokes about putting our legs round things.

Now that you’ve got your new shiny lesbosexy bike, let’s talk about getting kitted out! This is the first of two biking x Holigay Gift Guide crossovers, to give you lots of ideas for what to get for the cyclists in your lives (including your own beautiful selves).

This is a two-part gift/gear guide situation: first, we’ll look at what to put on your bike, and then we’ll look at things to put on your body. Aside from the stuff that’s super important for you and your bike’s safety (lights, locks, helmet, brakes), you won’t need all – or even most – of this; I am a big advocate of just wearing whatever you were going to wear anyway on your daily commutes. But! Remember that just getting a couple of accessories can do wonders for your warmth, comfort and visibility, and plenty of cyclists don’t want to splurge on these extra things for themselves. Stuck on what to get for that one person (read: me) who only appreciates practical presents? Here’s where you, the benevolent giftmo, come in.

Lights

In most areas, it’s illegal to cycle in the dark or inclement weather without lights (white for the front, red for the rear) – and for good reason. Here’s what to consider when buying lights:

• Brightness: Usually measured in candela or lumens. Choose one that’s as bright as you need it to be to be seen in the kind of conditions that you’ll be cycling in – fog and heavy traffic, unlit paths or just to the store down the road? – and look for lights with good side visibility, not just narrow, focused beams.
• Power Source: For most commuters, AA/AAA battery-powered or USB rechargeable lights are more than adequate. Dynamo-powered lights are best for long, intensive bike rides.
• Portability: Clip-on lights or those with quick release mounts mean that you can take the lights with you, reducing the chances of theft or damage. If you leave your lights on the bike, you want to make sure that they’re screwed on as tightly and as securely as possible.
• Location: Most front lights are mounted on the handlebars and rear lights on the seatpost. If a rear light on the seatpost is likely to be blocked (e.g. if you wear dresses or long coats), consider mounting it on your bike rack, clipping it onto your backpack or pannier, or getting a helmet light.
• Back Ups: Get a set of emergency lights in case your main lights fail or get stolen.

1. CatEye HL-EL135N/Omni 3 TL-LD135 Combo (battery-operated, quick release, clothing clip)
2. Planet Bike Blinky Safety 1-LED Bicycle Light Set (battery-operated)
3. KNOG Boomer USB Rechargeable Front Light and Rear Light (quick release)
4. CatEye Uno HL-EL010/Rapid 3 TL-LD630 Combo (battery-operated, quick release, clothing clip)
5. CatEye Loop Bicycle Front and Rear Safety Light Kit SL-LD110 (battery-operated, emergency lights)
6. KNOG Beetle Front and Rear Twin Pack Lights (battery-operated, quick release, emergency lights)
7. Topeak HeadLux Helmet Light (battery-operated)
8. Light and Motion VIS 360 Degree Plus Bike Light (helmet light, USB rechargeable)
9. KNOG Blinder Road 2 Front USB Rechargeable Light (quick release)
10. CatEye Orbit Bicycle Spoke Safety Light Kit SL-LD 120 (battery-operated)
11. Supernova E3 Pro 2 Headlight (dynamo-powered)
12. Supernova E3 Pro 2 Tail Light (dynamo-powered)

Locks and Security

Keeping your bike secure is such an important topic we’ll have a whole post dedicated to it in the near future but in the meantime, here’s a quick look at what’s available. Ideally, you’ll want to lock your frame and both wheels to a bike rack. Stronger locks tend to be bulkier, heavier and harder to transport, but many come with brackets so you can attach them to your bike frame. Here I’ve also included the Sold Secure three-tier rating of each of the locks, which is what most UK insurance companies use, to indicate their relative strengths.

1. ABUS Centuro 860 (85cm) Lock and 860 (110cm) Lock (Bronze)
2. ABUS Granit Steel-O-Flex 1000 (80cm) Lock and 1000 (100cm) Lock (Silver)
3. ABUS Granite City X-Plus 1060 Chain Lock (Gold)
4. Kryptonite Evolution 4 Integrated Chain Bicycle Lock (Gold)
5. KNOG Bouncer U-Lock (Bronze)
6. Kryptonite Kryptolok Series 2 Standard Bicycle U-Lock (Silver)
7. Kryptonite New York Standard Bicycle U-Lock (Gold)
8. Kryptonite Kryptoflex Looped Cable (deterrent chain if you only have one lock)

Bells and Horns

Sometimes you need a tourist out of the way and sometimes you need to just– hey, girl, hey. (No I’m kidding, don’t do that, that’s street harassment and it’s not cool. Context and consent, y’all!) Realistically you probably won’t need anything fancy to do the job, so you could spend on a branded, quality bell… or you could just go with whatever’s cutest on the handlebars.

1. Kikkerland Dring Dring Bike Bell – Speedometer
2. Vavert Hamburger Bell
3. Sunlight Squeeze Bicycle Horn – Shark
4. Vavert Dude Bell
5. Crane Suzu Lever Strike Brass Bell
6. Bell Be Alert Classic Bugle Horn
7. Delta Airzound Bike Horn
8. Hornit dB140 Cycle Horn with Remote Trigger

The last two on this list are considered the loudest horns in the market, in case you’ve ever thought to yourself, “wow, cycling’s great and all, but I really wish I could be as loud as a jetplane while I was at it.” You do you, my friends, you do you.

Racks, Panniers and Baskets

Bicycles are the one of the most efficient means of cargo transportation, because of the low weight of the bike relative to what it can carry. Of course this will mean little to you when you’re lugging a sack of potatoes up a hill (real-life experience) and you might not be say, moving house by bike any time soon, but getting your bike fitted with just a couple of carrier racks, pannier bags or baskets can make your life substantially easier. Most carrier racks are fixed to the rear of the bike – lower fixtures destabilise the bike less, and wider ones increase wind resistance but allow you to carry more. If you own a folding bike or a weak frame (e.g. a bike with a very low crossbar), you might want to look at front-fitting fixtures instead.

1. Planet Bike Eco Rack
2. Topeak Explorer Bicycle Rack with Disk Brake Mounts
3. Ibera Bicycle Quick-Release PakRak Mini Commuter Bag and Seat-Post Rack
4. Rixen & Kaul KLICKfix Vario Rack
5. Topeak MTX Trunk Bag EXP with Rigid Molded Panels
6. Green Guru Carbon Cooler Pannier
7. Banjo Brothers Canvas Saddle Bag
8. Topeak Pannier Dx Drybag
9. Topeak Trolley Tote Folding Basket
10. Snoozer-Pet Bicycle Basket (dog not included)
11. Nantucket Lightship Classic Front Handlebar Bike Basket
12. Avenir Folding Rear Wheel Basket

Child Seats and Trailers

Do you have a small human to transport and/or entertain? It can take a while to adjust to the additional weight and different centre of gravity, but cycling with a kid can be super fun for both of you. Rear-fitting seats, which can be attached to the bike frame or a carrier rack, are a bit safer and offer better protection from wind-chill. Front-fitting seats destabilise the bike less and offer the child a better view but can make for awkward pedalling. In choosing a child seat, don’t compromise on safety and comfort: the kid must be able to sit up on their own and be under the weight limit. For bigger small humans, consider a bike trailer!

1. Hamax Siesta Bike Child Seat (rear-fitting, frame mount, max. 48lb/22kg)
2. CoPilot Limo Bicycle Child Seat (rear-fitting, rack mount, max. 40lb/18kg)
3. WeeRide LTD Kangaroo Child Bike Seat (front-fitting, max. 40lb/18kg)
4. iBert Safe-T Front Child Seat (front-fitting, frame mount, max. 38lb/17kg)
5. TYKE TOTER Front Child Bicycle Seat (front-fitting, frame mount, max. 45lb/20kg)
6. WeeRide Co-Pilot Bike Trailer (rear-fitting, frame mount, max. 75lb/34kg)
7. InStep Quick N EZ Double Bicycle Trailer (rear-fitting, frame mount, max. 80lb/36kg)

Cleaning and Maintenance

Here’s another topic that we’ll be going into in the future, but for now here are a few all-in-one cleaning and repair kits that are useful for getting started in your DIYke biking journey and make a great gift for the handy queers in your life.

1. Finish Line Pro Care Bucket Kit 8.0
2. Muc-Off 8-in-One Bike Cleaning Kit
3. Park Tool Chain Gang Cleaning System
4. Topeak Alien II 26-Function Bicycle Tool
5. Zefal Universal Patch Kit with Levers
6. Roswheel Bicycle Repair Tools Set with Pouch and Pump

Various Thingamabobs

1. Planet Bike Black Hybrid/Touring Hardcore Fenders (45mm) (you really don’t want to get mud thrown up onto your fancy new coat)
2. Topeak Modula Ex Bottle Cage
3. Green Guru Recycled Bicycle Tubes Dashboard Handlebar Bag (for maps, phones and other small necessities that you need within your sight or quickly within reach)
4. Mirrcycle Original Bicycle Mirror (for racing or if it’s hard for you to turn around to look behind you when on the road)
5. Serfas Women’s Reactive Gel Bicycle Saddle
6. KLOUD Black Soft Gel Relief Bike Saddle Seat Cushion Pad Cover
7. White Lightning Saddle Johnny Bike Seat Protector (TIP: a shower cap works just as well – here’s just if you wanna get fancy about it or need a stocking stuffer)
8. Ergon Grip P-1Mg Series Bicycle Handle Bar Grip

Holigay Gift Guide 2013: We Built This Gift Guide (On Rock & Roll)

by Cara and Stef

You can’t buy her a new album, because she has all the ones that are “worth having.” You can’t get her concert tickets because she stood in line for several hours at the presale. So what are you supposed to do? We’ve got you covered.

p.s. If you don’t have this problem, but you would like to, feel free to send any or all of these gifts to Cara and/or Stef, who drooled the whole time they were making this.

You Can Take It With You

Sometimes you need music to be playing at all times no matter what — in the park, in the dark, on a train, in your brain, in a box, with a fox, etc. These gadgets will make it happen! Eco Speakers from Dormify give your tunes some extra heft, plus they’re collapsible so you can carry them around like it’s nothing.  For bike adventures and commutes that would benefit from a soundtrack, there’s this cool smartphone bike mount — if you’re more of an analog person, you can carry this portable transistor radio instead. And if you’d rather make or mix your own tunes on the go, grab this intuitive, neat-looking Pocket Piano, or apply your EQing and crossfading skills anywhere with a POKKETMIXER, “the first mobile mini DJ mixer.”

For Actual Musicians

It can be hard to find gifts for someone who actually PLAYS music — they’re almost sure to have their own gear preferences, and if that amazing personalized silver pick is a few millimeters too thick it might never come out of the box. But even the most stubborn gearhead won’t be able to resist Firestix, because they’re glow-in-the-dark drumsticks. Same goes for this Grip Studios Custom Guitar Grip, which will ensure no one uses their axe without asking again. Beginners and pros alike will enjoy this handy Guitar Chords Poster or this Music Moleskine (it’s filled with staff paper!), as well as this less-handy but still amazing Taylor Swift Ukelele Song Book. And absolutely everyone in the world can have fun with a Yamaha Tenori-On light-up sampler — especially since it’s 60% off right now.

Hardcore Decore

One time I had a long conversation with someone about how it would be cool if I could eat music, because then I would never space out on meals and flirt with malnourishment. These kitchen supplies are the next best thing, probably. When you use this Retro Record Cutting Board, all your veggies will suddenly acquire a new depth and crispness (vinyl 5ever). Whip out this Gama-Go Guitar Spatula and your potatoes shred themselves. Throwing a party? Turn it up to eleven with these puntastic Guitar Pick Wine Charms and a Volume Knob Wine Stopper, plus some 45 RPM Singles Coasters. Round it all out with this hilarious “No Loud Music” sign, which can double as a passive-aggressive gift to roommates, neighbors, or little brothers.

Words About Musics

Sometimes your ears are tired and you need to curl up with a good book (about music). Here’s a bunch that will warm the feminist and Fenderist parts of your heart. Patti Smith’s Just Kids and Cherie Currie’s Neon Angel are gripping autobiographical accounts of what it’s like to really make it, as well as evocative portraits of places and times many of us miss (whether we were there or not). If criticism is more your bag, crack open Out of the Vinyl Deeps, a new collection from the late Ellen Willis (a “groundbreaking radical leftist writer and thinker whose true loves were rock music, feminism, pleasure, and freedom”— I know, right?), or dive into Rock, She Wrote, a collection of over 60 music essays by women writers. And if your eyes are tired too, give them some candy: pop in the “insightful and compassionate” documentary Edgeplay: A Film About The Runaways, or grab a friend and break out Homoground’s amazing Feminist Playing Cards, which feature everyone from Ani DiFranco to Grace Jones to Yoko Ono.

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Let’s Buy A Bicycle

Welcome to the very first installment of this column about bikes! Here we’ll talk how-tos, gear guides, politics and history, travelling and anything else that comes to mind – all while making terrible jokes about putting our legs round things.

Cycling’s great for your health, wallet and the environment – and there’s the chance of queer ladies checking out how cute you look on your ride. What’s not to love? Maybe you’re just getting started, or maybe you’re finally planning to move up from the bike your parents bought you when you were a teenager. Today we’ll look into what to consider when you’re buying a bike.

General Tips

Set a budget – but don’t spend all of it on your bike. You’ll need some of that to pay for a lock, accessories and a first tune-up (for new bikes) within about 6-8 weeks of purchase.

Do your research. Bike choices can be overwhelming and without an idea of what you want, you might find yourself pressured into getting whatever the store’s trying to clear stock of. (Definitely listen to salespeople, but ask why they’re recommending what they are.) The last part of this post will go through some things to consider when you’re bike-shopping.

Talk to your friends! Borrow their bikes for a test ride. Ask them what they like or don’t like about it, especially if you have similar interests or a similar commute.

Test the bike out. See if you can get 15-20min to get a feel of how the bike works over different road conditions, turns, gear changes and so on. Most major bike shops will allow you to do this while holding onto your credit card or some form of ID as collateral. If you purchase a bike online (which is often cheaper), be sure to check out their returns policy.

Get what’s comfortable. In the end it really just boils down to what makes you happy. Sure, it might not be the fanciest or sleekest bike, but do you like riding it? You might even just end up getting whatever you think is prettiest and that is totally okay too.

Buying Second-Hand

Bikes can be expensive, especially if you need one that’s going to be used frequently for years. Looking for used bikes in stores or online (e.g. eBay, Gumtree, Craigslist) can get you a quality bicycle without breaking the bank if you keep these few things in mind.

Look for visible signs of damage. Walk away from anything that indicates frame or fork damage (cracks, wrinkled paint, dents, deep rust). Other problems might be fixable cheaply but it always helps to seek expert advice, which could be just a knowledgeable friend.

Check for safety! This is super important: even if there’s no obvious damage, it helps to have a mechanic look over it to make sure everything’s working as it should.

Beware of stolen bikes. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Look for ads that contain photos/descriptions of the actual bike and not just generic information copied from catalogues. Ask the seller where they got the bike and for proof of purchase, its frame number (which you can check against online databases) and some form of ID or address.

Consider unconventional sources. Bikes are abandoned pretty often and you might find security guards or building administrators looking to get rid of them – just ask! A friend of mine got a bike for free at the end of the school year from those that’d been left behind at halls. Check out police auctions or ask bike hire shops if they’re looking to get rid of old models.

Finding The Bike That’s Right For You

Bicycle Type
Road bikes or racers are lightweight bikes designed for speed on smooth tarmac surfaces. Mountain bikes or MTBs are for off-road cycling; they’re heavier, feature more suspension or cushioning to deal with rocky surfaces and wider tires for greater traction. Hybrid bikes are anything in between and tend to be used for commuting. Bike manufacturers often indicate if a hybrid is best suited for trekking, urban/city commuting, comfort riding and so on.

1. Carrera TDF Road Bike [review]
2. Carrera Kraken Mountain Bike [review]
3. Boardman Performance Hybrid Team 2012/2013 [review]
4. Mango MB Mess Urban Bike

“Women’s” Bikes

Using scare quotes here because gendering bikes is not only problematic but misleading too – choose your bike according to your needs and body measurements, not gender. Women’s bikes tend to have slanted crossbars to make it easier for you to lift your leg over it, which is especially useful if you wear skirts or dresses. Crossbar height is also important to prevent injury (which is why mountain bikes often have slanted bars): when you jump forward off the seat, there must be adequate space between the bar and your crotch. Women’s bikes are also useful for those with wider hips, smaller frames or shorter torsos and arms.

1. Specialized Dolce Equipped Women’s 2014 Road Bike
2. Specialized Myka Disc SE 26 Women’s 2014 Mountain Bike
3. Mango The Curve Urban Bike
4. Giant Sedona Women’s 2014 Comfort Bike

Frame Material

Most low-end to mid-range bikes that you’ll come across will be made of steel, which is cheap, versatile and strong but dense, though there are also much fancier (and pricier) alloys. Aluminium is less dense but more fragile, so thicker frames that compensate for this might not end up being much lighter than steel. Titanium and carbon fibre are high-quality materials common in high-end bikes – but if you’re turning to cycling for environmental reasons, beware the latter’s carbon footprint. Bamboo is becoming increasingly popular as an environmentally sustainable, flexible, shock-absorbing and aesthetically appealing material, but still commands a pretty steep price tag as a relatively niche product.

1. Schwinn Coffee 1 [review]
2. Raleigh Airlite 100 2011/2012 [review]
3. Planet X SL Pro Carbon [review]
4. Bamboobee Revolution Nostalgic

Portability

Folding bikes are great when you’re short on space or take another form of transport for part of your commute. Small ones that fold up quickly are super convenient on the bus or tube, though they handle bumps and potholes a little more poorly. Full-size folding bikes are bulky to carry around but can be squeezed into small flats.

1. Brompton S1E
2. Tern Joe C21
3. Montague Crosstown 2013
4. Dahon Boardwalk D8

Gears

Most bicycles have between 3 and 27 gears, which can be adjusted to make spinning the pedals easier or harder when accelerating, going up hills or against the wind. Single-speed bikes only have a single gear ratio (i.e. no derailleur or hub gears) and fixed-gear single-speed bikes or fixies do away with the freewheel mechanism, so the pedals are constantly in motion and coasting isn’t possible. Fixies tend to be lighter, cheaper, more efficient and come in loads of colours, but don’t get them if you live in a hilly area or are averse to being called a hipster. If you’re planning to tackle traffic, please install brakes on your fixie!

1. Mango Fresher Urban Bike
2. Pure Fix Glow-in-the-Dark Urban Fixie
3. Pitango Custom Urban Bike
4. State Bicycle Co. Vice

When you get your bike, take the time to get to know it: ride for about an hour in a park or non-stressful traffic conditions to get used to how it handles. Bring it back to the shop or seller as soon as possible if you run into any problems. Have fun!

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Holigays 2013 Gift Guide: 25 Sweaters With Cats On Them

It’s suddenly very very cold. But you know what isn’t cold? Sweaters. And also cats. You know what’s really not cold? Sweaters with cats on them. They sure are cool though.

Full disclosure: some of these might just be sweatshirts.

1. Positive Cat-itude Sweater

You too can be a giant moving cat head.

2. Hugs to Go Sweater in Black Tabby

For anyone who ever wanted one of those cats you could take for a walk on your shoulder but was always too terrified the cat would run away.

3. Cool Cat Sweater

How many cats is too many cats?

4. All Purr-pose Sweater

Are those Reindeer? No, they’re my only friends.

5.Beige & red Cat Skeleton sweater

If you’re not anatomically correct, what are you even doing at this party?

6. Haute Cat-ure Cardigan

Business in the front, cat lady in the back.

7.Heathered Cat Craze Sweater

It say, “I’m comfy but I’m still a lady.”

8. Come Tome to Me Sweatshirt

I believe cat literacy shouldn’t be limited by the fact that cats lack opposable thumbs. Or for that matter an ability to understand human language.

9. Mirror Image Cat Sweater

Cat Sex in The City had a small but devout following

10. Purr Our Conversation Sweatshirt

For the woman who has a lot to say but nothing to talk about.

11. ASOS Cat Sweater

He’s smiling, but getting dressed up like this was pretty traumatic for mittens.

12. I’ll Miss Mew Cardigan

Now with real cat fur!

13.Manhattan Cat Screen Printed Drop-Shoulder Sweater

No one knows the city like your cat knows the city.

14. Now Mew See Me Sweater

If you don’t own a sequined cat sweater, you don’t actually care about cats. Or sequin.

15. Roars and Stripes Sweater

Because size doesn’t matter

16. Magical Cats Baggy Beach Jumper

Everyone needs a best friend. Even the cat on your shirt.

17. Black Cat Sweater

Be prepared to answer questions about the 2003 Animal Planet television film Ghost Cat starring Ellen Page.

18.Character Hero Cat Sweater

Therapy not included

19. Crazy Cat Sweater in Oatmeal

Okay nobody make any “pile of dead kitties” jokes.

20. Adventure Teal Crew Neck Sweater

The true meaning of Christmas is money. Or mew-ney.

21. Cat in Wreath Sweater

You think this is too many bows? Say that to my face. Say that to my adorable little kitten face

22. The Beloved Cat Collage Crewneck

This cat right in the front, yeah, he’s my favorite. The cat below him: my second favorite. The others are tied for third.

23. Meowtal Sweater

Long live Catallica

24. Chill Out Knit Sweater

It’s too bright in here and everyone is talking to loud.

25. Feline Sweater

I don’t want to be a downer, but I do think we should consider the body image issues this cat might provoke in young kittens.

Go get ’em tiger!

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Idol Worship: The Holigay 2013 Gift Guide

Welcome to Idol Worship, a biweekly devotional to whoever the fuck I’m into. This is a no-holds-barred lovefest for my favorite celebrities, rebels and biker chicks; women qualify for this column simply by changing my life and/or moving me deeply. This week, we’re gonna recap my year with some good old-fashioned SHOPPING.

Header by Rory Midhani

It’s been a little over a year now since I started pouring unsolicited praise upon various celebrities and figureheads while simultaneously oversharing information about my own life and asking vapid and uninteresting questions. Just kidding! It’s been a little over a year now since I changed the world with my short, sweet celebrity interviews and personal essays as part of Idol Worship, and I’m excited for the famous folks who will come into my life the interviews I’ll be sharing with y’all in the next twelve months as we turn this corner.

As an avid Idol Worshipper, I take great care to learn more about the people who inspire me while simultaneously avoiding the wrath of God, who is surely angry about my blasphemous column and encouragement for fellow idolatrists to indulge in gushing about their favorite important person endlessly to people who don’t really care but sometimes relate in strange and unique ways. If you’ve ever read my devotionals and wanted to become hopelessly devoted, or if you’ve ever been all, oh my god! Carmen is like, as obsessed with Eileen Myles as my mom is, I’m here to help.

Without further ado, the Idol Worship Gift Guide. For this year, at least.

Eileen Myles

There are never enough opportunities to tell you to shut the fuck up and read an Eileen Myles book already.

Snowflake / different streets // Skies // Sorry, Tree // Inferno // Chelsea Girls // Cool for You

Edie Sedgwick (And Andy Warhol)

If you love Edie, you love the entire factory. And if you’re me, it’s because you relate to her and Andy Warhol in a way which challenges you not to introduce yourself as their love child.

Edie: An American Girl // Factory Made: Warhol and the Sixties // Factory Girl DVD //Edie, Factory Girl // Edie by Andy Warhol Photo Print // The Philosophy of Andy Warhol //Art of Andy Warhol 2014 Wall Calendar // Andy Warhol Portraits 

Frida Kahlo

I’d like to paint Frida Kahlo’s body over my own body and just walk around like, “Hey, I’m Frida Kahlo, don’t you just wish you had one ounce of my strength you motherfuckers?”

Socksmith Frida Knee-High Socks // Dod Frida Sculpture // The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait // Frida Kahlo Paper Dolls // Frida Kahlo Tank Top

Madonna

Chances are the Madonna enthusiast in your life already illegally pirated her entire discography. (I’m not naming names.) So think bigger, better, and sexier than a CD.

Celebration CD Set // Vintage Screen Print Tee // Free Spirit Eggshell Junior Shirt // Sex //Madonna: The MDNA Tour on Blu-Ray

Quvenzhané Wallis

If you get into her now, you get to say you were into her “before she got big.”

Signed Covers and Photos // Beasts of the Southern Wild

Bettie Page

For her inner pin-up girl.

Wanna Ride? Retro Sign //Bettie Page Playing Cards // Bettie Page Pint Glass Set // Photo Shower Curtain

Iris Apfel

I have an obsession with fabulous older women. I like to think I’m not alone.

Rare Bird of Fashion: The Irreverent Iris Apfel // Advanced Style // Iris Apfel for MAC collection

The Coquette

If you have a friend who is getting married, to a man (it happens), I highly advise they be required to read Notes to My Future Husband first. What better way to plant it in their hands than disguising it as an innocent gift? May the ass-kicking begin.

Janis Joplin

SO COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, AND TAKE IT, TAKE ANOTHA LITTLE PIECE OF MY HEART NOW BABY

Love, Janis // Janis Joplin’s Greatest Hits // Pearl on Vinyl

Zelda Fitzgerald

We could all use a life lesson or two from the flappers.

Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald // Zelda Fitzgerald’s Collected Writings // “Nobody Has Ever Measured” Tee // An Illustrated Life: The Private World of Zelda Fitzgerald //Dear Scott, Dearest Zelda: The Love Letters of F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald

Julie & Brandy

A subscription to Tello is all that can satiate someone trying to fantasize about Julie and Brandy being a couple. Pretending to be one, I mean. Or for people looking for their shady advice. Either way. You do you.

10 Black Friday Deals You Can Get Without Getting Out Of Your Sweatpants

Hey, who here LOVES CAPITALISM AND COMMERCE? Not me, but alas, until we move to our socialist lesbian commune utopia, I must do as the Romans do, which’s why every holiday season we beg you desperately to do your online holiday shopping through our affiliate accounts! When you visit an affiliate store via an Autostraddle link — either via a generic link to the store or a specific product link from one of our shopping guides — we get a kickback (between 3% and 20%, depending on the merchant). Why give money to corporations when you can give money to corporations who give money to us?

We’ve created an entire page dedicated to the cause, which you should immediately bookmark. At Support Autostraddle While Shopping Online: Affiliate Marketplace, you’ll find links to all our affiliate merchants, such as Fab.com, Amazon, ModCloth, Alternative Apparel, Target, Need Supply, Torrid and Topman. We actually rely more on income from affiliate accounts than we do on traditional advertising and the holidays are a crucial time for us, so every little purchase helps!

Today we present you with some kickass deals happening this weekend at various hubs of commerce.

Ten Black Friday Deals You Can Enjoy Without Getting Off Your Ass

1. Dolls Kill – Entire Site Marked Down Up to 90% Off

I’m super into this place right now. Pictured: Chill Out Knit Sweater ($60 $45), 70’s Malibu Skinny Sweats ($129 $96.25), Unicorn Prep CC Polo ($85 $42.50)

2. Fab.com – 30% Off Sitewide

Pictured: Heart Gloves ($30), Kitten Mit Set of 2 ($20 $12), Drinking Games Coaster Set ($15 $10.50)

3. Kigurumi Costumes at Fab.com – $39 (but really they’re $27.30 because 30% off sitewide)

Finally I can live my dream of wearing a blanket and looking like a koala at the same time. Seriously I just ordered one.

4. Amazon.com – Audio-Technica ATH-M30 Professional Studio Monitor Closed-back Dynamic Stereo Headphones – $119 $46.50

Amazon.com is having  a crazy Black Friday Headphones Sale. Although our headphones guide and headphones gift guides are a bit old, it should give you some guidance of what brands to invest in.

5. Modcloth – 50% off hundreds of new items

Truly Gritty and Gorgeous Bag ($99.99 $49.99), Hepcat Dress ($99.99 $49.99), Striking Style Necklace ($14.99 $9.99)

6. Dolls Kill – Tomboy Tank Top ($45 $14)

7. Autostraddle – 2014 Calendar for $12 (plus free stickers!)

This weekend only, the 2014 Autostraddle calendar of real hot queer women is only $12! PLUS every order comes with a free You Do You Sticker (also this weekend only) and all Autostraddle pins & notebooks are a sweet $5 (surprise! also just for this weekend.) Your purchases ensure our ongoing existence and the health and happiness of our editors and writers!

8. Topman – Underwear 2 for $18

9. Alternative Apparel – 25% off any order with code BLACKFRI

10. Torrid.com – 40% Off Regular Price and 50% Off Clearance 11/28 to 11/29 with code BF2013

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6 Kids’ Clothing Lines That Know Your Daughter is More Than Just a Pink Princess Glitterbomb Who Can’t Do Math

Each year without fail, some ‘witty’ designers decide that the girls section needs some punching up. “I think girls are really into pink this year,” one might say. “Oh and princesses,” chimes in another. “No wait, let’s just sell them the same crap because girls are dumb! Haha, this is so meta.” This year’s fashion dunce cap went to The Children’s Place for their shirt, but retailers like Gymboree have made the same mistakes year after year without ever learning a lesson themselves. Because while corporations are (finally) universally panned when they imply girls are lacking in the math department, they still get a pass for telling girls they just need to be easy on the eyes. (If you can figure out how to get a PhD in cuteness, more power to you).

It irks me that big businesses think they can get away with things like, “I’m too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me.” Groups like Pink Stinks try to hold them accountable and let them know that this ‘I’m sorry you were offended’ attitude doesn’t fly. (Surprise surprise! We’re smarter than that.) The UK-based group wants to give girls the chance to say that there’s more than one way to be a girl by campaigning against overly gendered clothing, costumes or cosmetics that tell a girl she is (or should) be anything less than herself.

It’s hard to get away from the idea of The Girl Section and The Boy Section despite the relatively few differences in prepubescent bodies. Progressively-minded parents can still be thwarted by school bullies and gender-policing fitting room attendants if they shop from the “wrong” section. Even when fellow parents give great advice on finding gender-neutral togs in the boys’s section, it doesn’t really help that they follow up with tips on girlifying it. Shouldn’t retailers think, “Hey! Let’s let these kids figure themselves out.” Because no matter where your child falls on the gender gradient, they can usually agree with the label “kid.”

“When I grow up I’m going to own a feminist magazine. But for now, I just want ice cream.” -Autostraddle founder and CEO Riese posing in a spiffy tank top and shorts (Also I want that romper in the back)

Where can you shop for clothing without being bludgeoned by a Rainbow Glitter Magic Wand that only extols the virtues of being pretty, pink and purchased? The web of course! If navigating the great land of webstores didn’t leave you feeling too great, you can always look to Etsy or any of these designers that think outside of the toybox.

1. Girls Will Be

Launched this summer, this clothing line strives for “girl clothes without the girly.” Created by Sharon Burns Choski, she wanted a clothing line that challenged her mall’s offerings. Following her simple rules of letting girls be kids, while staying away from pink, girly embellishments and stereotypical imagery, she ended up with a line that appeals to adults, tomboys and any girl that doesn’t hanker for magenta. As soon as you step away from the status quo, you get neat tees like Girls Will Be So Many Things and effing sharks. When was the last time you could gift your niece a hammerhead?

2. A Mighty Girl

If you just want a resource on how to raise a strong woman, you’ll find it at A Mighty Girl, which collects everything that “smart, confident, and courageous girls” could want. Checklists of our actual talents? Female superhero undies? Medical scrubs/onesies for that genius newborn? Caped WonderWoman socks? They’ve even got presents for you! Like a graphic T section of your favourite childhood books!

3. IndiKidual

If money is burning a hole through your pocket and you want your kid to be a fashion plate, look no further. Organized just as tops and bottoms, these fun prints are easily wearable by any type of kid. Their monster Ts, tuxedo jackets and astronaut onesies bare a simple message: “only to be worn by indikiduals.”

4. Hei Moose

Sparkles! Glitter! Random holographic things. Who doesn’t like fun things? Certainly not kids! This Nordic clothing line embraces the belief that kids should all get to play in brightly patterned clothing, including the boys! Although some of their pink items are still labeled for girls  as you can tell, (the gender-neutral shopping task was harder than I imagined) you still have offerings that won’t leave either sibling feeling left out.

5. PigTail Pals

This line (along with Ballcap Buddies) just reminds kids to be kids. It just strives to  remind girls (and boys) that they can be whatever they want to be. There’s no such thing as male or female professions any more than there are girl or boy colours.

6. Because I Am A Girl

If she likes pink she can wear pink, because she can do anything. Plan Canada isn’t just thinking about your youngster, but also about all of the girls around the world that simply need the opportunity to make something of themselves. So if your kiddo decides they love all things Magenta, remind them that it’s their decision and buy a shirt that’ll help another kid get to make their own choices.

There’s nothing wrong with liking pink. Or unicorns. Or glitter. If you were to ask a bunch of our queer, feminist writers how their current wardrobe compared to that of their childhood, I’m sure a lot of them would say, “similar, but adult-sized.”

Then: Floral Dress, Frilly Socks and Disney Watch. Now: Floral Dress, Pink Nails and a Pink Solo. Always a fly as fuck feminist.

No part of feminism says that certain colours or motifs are off limits. While forcing a hue upon our daughters, sisters and ourselves is ass backwards, so is denying it from its enthusiasts. So if your mini decides that they want to be a princess, you don’t need to deny their fun, just remind them they can be whatever type of princess they want. Including a self-rescuing one.

Plus Size Underwear For All Gender Presentations

I could talk about shopping for underwear all day. Seriously, I actually have an entire closet that is full of bins of lingerie and three of them are all underwear.

For me, underwear comes in four major categories, with the lion’s share of my collection in the first two categories. First, sexy times underwear. Second, everyday cute. Third, loungewear underwear. Fourth, underwear I would wear on stage or otherwise need for costume purposes.

When shopping for underwear for plus size bodies, it’s important to remember that there’s a range of body shapes for plus size bodies! Some folks carry weight in their bellies, some have flat bellies and bigger hips, some have a big booty. Therefore, not all underwear is created equal and doesn’t fit equally. I’m going to walk you through some of my favorite underwear retailers for Femme of center folks, and at the end of this article will delve into masculine of center underwear for the big and tall. (Love a gendered fat euphemism.)

Sexytimes Plus Size Underwear

This is totally my favorite category for many reasons. Sexy underwear is creative, synthetic, shiny, lacey, sparkly, stretchy, loud, demure, fiddly and impractical. It is as wild and wonderful as you want to be.

Torrid (found in most malls and online) has a lot of really sexy underwear. They have a huge selection of lace “cheeky” shorts in a ton of colors and styles (including leopard) up to size 28.

Torrid Red And Black Cross-Dye Allover Lace Cheeky Shorts

They also carry a lot of different styles of thongs.

Torrid White With Leopard Print Thong

Simply Be (a UK brand) carries a great line of retro-inspired underwear. The high waisted Gok Wan panties are a favorite of mine. Check out these madly adorable high waisted polka dotted darlings!

Simple Be GOK WAN HIGH WAISTED PANTIE

Simply Be also carries a lot of hot hot hot underwear. I love a semi-sheer panty. It’s business in the front, party in the back and makes for a cute reveal when your suitor realizes that they can see through them.

Simple Be CURVY KATE ROMANCE SHORT

Bare Necessities carries a good variety of plus size underwear, including the brand Elomi. This style is so perfect for a sultry, romantic sexy look.

Elomi Valentina Brief

Frederik’s of Hollywood carries some plus size panties up to size 3X. These lace heart beauties are so adorable!

LACE HEART PANTY PLUS

Plus size shopping is like hunting. You’ve got to know where to find the best stuff and from there, where and how to get the best bargains. I feel like a genius when I can get underwear at 75% off retail, so I often scour the Ross plus size section. They have my favorite brands for a deep discount. Delta Burke (which you can also buy at Macy’s) makes some surprisingly great intimates. She often incorporates spandex and lace, which does double duty of hugging your curves while decorating them. Another Ross brand is XOXO, which tends to flow in the direction of great patterns, like teal and hot pink leopard, black and pink polka dot and, most recently, found in Philadelphia and Portland, neon pink.

Everyday Cute Plus Size Underwear

A cotton panty is an important staple for vaginal health (for those plus size folks who have vaginas, of course). You need to let it breath in there, especially during tights-wearing weather. So my everyday go-to is cotton. My favorite resource for cotton is Cacique (the Lane Bryant brand). Personally I love their cotton string bikini. This is the one I feel fits my tummy the best and feels most comfortable while still looking sexy.

Cacique Sassy cotton string bikini panty

Cacique also carries a ton of other cotton panties in a variety of silhouettes and I’ve always appreciated their endurance. I feel like Cacique cotton is good value for the money. If it’s going to be an everyday sort of underwear, I need it to last a long time.

A lot of my plus size pals like the Cacique cotton boyshort hipster. This one is unfortunately heterocentrically named “boyfriend hipster” but we can just call that “special friend hipster.”

Cacique Sassy cotton boyfriend hipster panty

Other folks I know really like thongs for comfort, but for me they’re too fiddly and stay firmly in the sexy times category.

Loungewear Plus Size Underwear

This category is basically anything I find too bulky to wear under clothing but love to wear around the house. “Full coverage” and some “Boyshort” underwear I think are too fiddly for me to feel comfortable in out in life, but I like to wear them under loungerie or with a tank top. Some people like to wear boxer shorts for this type of pursuit but I like underwear.

Bonus points for hilarious messages on the underwear, like these from Cacique.

Cacique You Wish ruched cotton hipster panty

I also like the Torrid cheeky boyshorts for loungewear, but some might love these for everyday cute, depending on how they fit!

Torrid Turquoise And Purple Lace Cheeky Shorts

Costume Plus Size Underwear

When you’re a performer who wears outfits that are often basically see through, you need to know what underwear is good on stage. Like ruffle butt panties! They’re great under a tutu, but would never look good under most of my dress silhouettes.

Torrid Blue Striped Mesh Rumba Briefs

I also secretly stash the underwear that looks like sexy underwear but is absolutely not see through in any way and won’t budge when you’re doing movement pieces to wear on stage. Basically the underwear equivalent of bikini shorts.

I also know a lot of people who enjoy lingerie for the stage who rely on panties from Biggalslingerie.com (NSFW link).

Masculine of Center Big and Tall Underwear

There are a lot of foxy underwear options for the Masculine of Center Plus Size person, or the euphemism “Big and Tall”! I am of course writing these recommendations based on what I like to see on masculine of center folks I might be interested in getting undressed. A word to the wise to all queers – if you are on a date wear your best-looking, newest underwear! It shows your date you care about your appearance and what she/he/they think of you!

Calvin Klein has been a favorite of mine for a long time. They go all the way up to 5X and cut a clean line. Boxer briefs are a classic style and can double as a harness in a pinch! (Just stick the base of the dildo in the underwear flaps and hold it steady. You can also score Calvin Klein boxer briefs at Ross/Marshall’s but usually they don’t carry beyond a 2X.

Black boxer briefs are a perfect date night staple.

Calvin Klein Boxer Briefs

These Under Armour boxer briefs come in bright red and go up to a 3X. I love how whimsical and bright the red is!

Under Armour Boxer Briefs

I was surprised when I found this Fruit of the Loom brief mimicked the American Apparel briefs that are so fashionable amongst the smaller masculine of center folks. This pack of 5 comes in teal and goes up to 2X.

Fruit of the Loom Ringer Briefs 

For further whimsy, Tommy Bahama makes boxers that go up to 5X!

Tommy Bahama Boxer

And if you want to go genderqueer, I highly recommend a pair of black Hanes briefs over a garter belt. I saw a Femme friend do it while I was visiting a porn set for the forthcoming sequel to Courtney Trouble’s Lesbian Curves and it was soooo hot.

Do Away With Your Naiveté: Let’s Explore the World of Lingerie

7 Things to Know about Lingerie

by The Lingerie Lesbian

Welcome to the lingerie post for Autostraddle Underwear Week! As you probably guess from my name, I have way, way too much to say about lingerie, so when I started this article I wanted to write everything. Happily, my girlfriend talked sense into me and I decided to boil down the 7 things about lingerie that I most wanted to share:

Fifi Chachnil Bonjour Paris Poupée Rose

1. “Lingerie” means so many different things

Although bras and panties get the most love, there are so many other facets of lingerie: from corsets to pajamas, babydolls to blindfolds, garter belts to latex gloves. Basically anything you wear under your clothes or to bed or that was inspired by historical underpants can be covered under the ‘lingerie’ umbrella – and I’m ready to embrace all variations.

2. It isn’t necessarily about sex…

One thing that bugs the hell out of me is that sometimes when I mention my interest in lingerie, I get a little *wink wink nudge nudge* expression that implies that I’ve just fluttered my eyelashes at them and suggested that I’m free later for some show and tell. Just, no – what I really want to be talking about is different underwire shapes and color trends.

FYI by Dani Read Binding Brief

3. …But sometimes it is.

That lingerie is sexy is rarely disputed –  but a good thing about that is that once you’ve already entered the land of “sexy,” there’s a lot more freedom to have fun and experiment. There are plenty of gorgeous light bondage concepts built into lingerie (like that bondage brief) and there are some fantastic Kiki de Montparnasse panties that say ‘Leche-Moi’ (Translation: ‘Lick Me’) on them. Is it weird that I think that’s kind of adorable? (and totally DIY-able)

4. Lingerie doesn’t have to be for a special occasion

Lingerie can be expensive and also impractical, which is why it is often reserved for special occasions. But really, can’t something be a special occasion because you’re wearing lingerie? I think any underwear that makes you feel special should be enjoyed as often as possible.

VPL STRIPE B BRA: FERN

5. It doesn’t have to be girly

The word “lingerie” may conjure up a world of pink and bows (think Victoria’s Secret), but if you look beneath the surface, there are a ton of smaller, often US-based brands with a decidedly androgynous aesthetic. Some of my go-to androgynous brands: VPL, FYI by Dani Read and new brand Relique.

Toccara Jones via Italian Vogue

6. Love it or hate it, everyone has a lingerie saga

No matter who you are or how uninterested you think you are in lingerie, I’ve found that everyone has their own story to tell – bras that never fit, embarrassing gifts from strange relatives or a favorite pair of knickers that never lets you down. You wear it next to the skin so it’s hard not to have strong feelings associated with your experiences.

Maison Close Villa des Lys Catsuit

7. Forget practical: amazing lingerie is often about fantasy

I feel like lesbians have a reputation for seeking practicality above all things when it comes to fashion. Now, don’t get me wrong, a great thing about being gay is that it often means you get the chance to opt out of impractical pieces of clothing that can be considered socially necessary for most women (high heels, ruffled blouses, pants without pockets) and that can be excellent. But clothing and dressing up can be fun all on its own and some of my favorite lingerie has almost no relationship to something that would be normal or acceptable to actually wear in public. What can I say? Sheer lace catsuits and panties too frilly to fit under pants are ridiculously awesome.

Lingerie Wishlist

by Intern Chelsey

When I was just a baby gay, I was convinced that in order to be a lesbian you had to wear boyshorts and sports bras. As I’ve become more comfortable with myself and my sexuality, I’ve realized that your underwear doesn’t define you in any way other than what you prefer to wear. Wearing lingerie for myself feels empowering, and I honestly feel most comfortable in balconet bras and lace underwear.

Asos has some set’s that I’ve got my eye on. I like that their site has a large variety of high end, as well as afforable, lingerie.

Asos

I adore the lingerie (and bras and underwear) from H&M. Their website is seriously lacking in variety, but the store is where I have bought some of my favorite lingerie, so I suggest shopping in person.

Topshop has really amazing separates, if you’re not into matching sets. I really love their variety of high waisted underwear.

Topshop

They always have a large variety of bras with padding and without, and I’ve found they have the best range of sizes. 

Thongs 101: Thongs Are More Than The Sum Of Their Parts

Welcome to Underwear Week, a whole week dedicated to your favorite bum-hugging clothesthings. As we said many moons ago, we feel a lady is at her best when she’s not wearing pants. And while our last adventure around this neck of the woods took us only as far as boyshorts, this time around we’re exploring the vast and many-flavored land of underwear. From edible panties to hoopskirts and history, we’ve got you covered. Just like your underwear. 

By Daniela and Caro, The Lingerie Lesbian

There are few underwear topics that engender as many polarized feelings as the thong. I know almost equal numbers of thong-lovers and thong-haters who are both ready to evangelize on the topic of why having a thin piece of fabric dividing your butt cheeks is amazing/horrendous. Well, we’re here to represent the “thongs are amazing” side of the argument.

Before we get too far in, let’s make sure you know your thongs.

The G-string: Infamous for being itty bitty, people seem to think it’s the only kind of thong there is. It is no more than a couple of inches of fabric in the front, held together by a couple of strings no thicker than the laces on my shoes. The back string can be unusually short, pulling the side strings down for a V look. This is by far my least favorite type of thong. Because there is so little of it to go around, it has nothing else to hold on but you and it will not let you forget about it unless all you are doing is hanging out sort of naked in your house. Not a beginner’s thong.

I feel like that twig symbolizes the comfort level of a g-string

Micro thong: Think the hip straps of a g-string with a little more fabric. Instead of strings everywhere, the micro thong still has super narrow sides but provides more coverage – at least in a thong context – in that the back string is about an inch thick. Usually, the micro thong will sit more comfortably on your butt, particularly in comparison to the permanent wedgie that is a g-string.

T-Back: Quite a bit more substance to go around, this thong earned its name because it looks like a wide T from the back. One of my favorite styles, the T-back has wider side straps and a longer, wider back that allows for more comfort and coverage. I like it because the wider straps sit better on the hips, meaning that – as long as they are the right size – they are more likely to sort of hug your hips, instead of digging into you like an itty bitty string would. These are my go-to for super fitted dresses or other sort of outfits where I want no panty lines on my butt or hips.

Lacy and Comfy

Tanga: Coverage everywhere, except for your butt. This is the best thing ever. I love tangas because I think the name is awesome and also because I can wear them all day, everyday without having to worry about all that fabric bunching up under my jeans. Some people refer to them as “cheekies” but I think tanga is way more becoming of a term.

Lacier and Comfier

The Fit

I’ve found that thongs in my regular size fit my hips but feel too short in the back, which is the main reason people get the wedgie feeling wearing them. However, going up a size usually means that the front panel is too tall, making the whole thing look baggy. To even things out I recommend starting out with a low-rise pair one size larger than your regular size. Also, go for the wider straps for a smaller chance of wearing something that will dig into your hips. Keep it short, too! Sometimes it takes a second for people to get used to wearing thongs, so wear yours first for a couple of hours only so you can figure out whether you like the fit in a mental space that doesn’t involve cursing the next 10 hours of your day.

Keeping it simple

Panties
Thongs

1. Hanky Panky is the thong queen brand. This brand is well-known for comfort, and their Signature Lace Low Rise Thong ($11.90 – $22.50) stand up to the test. Even though they are a bit above super affordable in terms of price, I think they’re worth it; they are one of the few brands that makes a cute thong that won’t shred in one wash. Their sizing is pretty standard too, so once you find the size that fits you best in their brand, you can go online and buy any new colors or styles confident that they’ll fit.

2. Calvin Klein has a line of Women’s Invisibles Thong ($10 – $37) that stands true to their name. Their material is super thin and it sits flat against your body, making them the best option for tight dresses and skirts.

3. Commando fits similar to the Calvin Klein invisible thongs, but their low rise thong ($15.90 – $20) have the added bonus of coming in a lot of fun patterns that don’t disturb the thickness of the material at all.

4. The Barely There Flawless Fit Seamless Thongs ($7.65 – $16.00) have a wider front, so they are similar to a regular bikini and a really good choice if you are trying out thongs for the first time.

Every little bit counts

When worn with an entire outfit (matching bra + garter belt + stockings) a thong is often the best option to keep the whole thing manageable and not involve too many layers of fabric. So, if you are interested in a more elaborate look, the Lingerie Lesbians recommends:

Thongs
Thongs

Mimi Holliday Confetti Bomb Bow Back Thong ($42.88): Mimi Holliday’s thongs are just like girly heaven – I mean how much better can it get than a red and pink spotted bow on your butt? In this bow-lovers opinion, you can’t go wrong here.

Bordelle Webbed Thong ($190): What I love about this thong is that it manages to have bows (sense a theme here?) and still be both badass at the same time. Although it covers a little more of your bum than the average thong, it’s definitely still in the spirit.

Myla Luna Skirted Thong ($85): This is simple, lacy and lovely – one great thing about thongs is that they’re so little that every detail counts. Delicate lace really stands out on such a minuscule piece of clothing.

After looking at Caro’s suggestions, I remembered my favorite brand to window shop: La Perla. If La Perla’s Secrets thong ($138) is as totally out of your price range as it is from mine, then rest assured you can find things slightly kinder to your pocket in Natori’s lacy thongs ($18). You can always just keep it simple, for a more affordable start.

In conclusion, thongs are not the monster some paint them to be – they can be fun, versatile and definitely easy to pack! Don’t knock ’em til you’ve tried ’em, you know? After all, Carmen did seem to be pretty comfortable twirling around Shane in that fantastic get-up.

Stand Tall and Drink Up: Meet the Lesbian Couple Behind “Genetic” Wine

Larisa Stephenson and Dana Sabin of Stand TALL Wine Co.

Long before Dana Sabin and Larisa Stephenson launched their own wine label in Northern California, they were just two girls playing for the North Shore Women’s Rugby Club in Chicago, full of love and longing. Well, Dana, who is 5’1, was mostly full of her “fear of getting killed.” That fear was obviously unrealized, but she did break her wrist, and luckily her teammate Larisa, a kinesiologist, was on-hand to deal with the injury. “That was my in,” Larisa explains to us over glasses of Pinot Noir in the cellar at Sabina Vineyards.

From that fated union came not only a successful relationship but eventually a thriving business partnership: Stand Tall Wine Company, which uses Sabina Vineyards in Saint Helena for producing and bottling its first wine label, Genetic. We met Dana and Larisa at the estate in what is referred to as “winter” in less temperate climates to hear more about their new company and taste the goods.

me and Autostraddle.com co-founder Alexandra Vega with a bottle of wine

The Little Wine History

Napa is, of course, best known for its vineyards, the first of which was opened in 1859 by John Patchett, a settler who’d been trained in Pennsylvania as a brewmaster and went West during the California Gold Rush. His winemaker, Charles Krug, would eventually establish the valley’s first commercial winery north of St.Helena. By the end of the nineteenth century, over 140 wineries were thriving in Napa Valley, which all suffered a communal setback in the 1920s due to prohibition and an ill-timed phylloxera infestation. After World War II, the wine industry picked back up, with big-name wineries popping up throughout the area, and Robert Mondavi broke away from his family’s Charles Krug estate to launch what is now the Valley’s most famous vineyard. Today over four hundred wineries are currently operating in Napa County, and Napa Valley hosts more than 45,000 acres planted to grapes. It’s a worldwide tourist attraction and a popular day or weekend trip for Northern Californians who like pretty scenery and drinking a lot. California accounts for almost 90% of America’s total wine production.

But only 9.8 percent of California wineries are headed up by women, although it can seem like more because on the whole, the wines made by women are more highly acclaimed based on the ratio of female vs. male winemakers. So it isn’t just being openly gay that make Dana and Larisa’s enterprise unique, it’s also their gender.

When Dana’s job (she’s a Social Worker) moved the couple out to Napa Valley from Chicago, they were surprised by the lack of LGBTQ community in the area, especially relative to the more visibile community in nearby Sonoma. “Moving to Napa from Chicago was a huge change,” says Dana. “It’s not just the few gays that are out here (we love you — come out!), it’s that there’s a lack of diversity, which is stifling in its own way.” Dana and Larisa got involved with the Napa LGBTQ Project, which works to create a more visible, supported community through outreach to local populations and businesses as well as engaging directly with the youth and older adult population. This involvement coincided with their increasing interest in wine and wine-making, which was surely helped along by Dana’s parents, Susan and David, owners of Sabina Vineyards in Saint Helena.

“I got interested in starting a wine company ’cause I wanted to create labels that support causes I believe in and ‘stand tall’ for,” said Larisa. “I also felt like there was this niche market out there that was being neglected by the large wine companies.”

“Larisa obviously had the passion to start this company and after many months of convincing, I realized she was right and this would be a great idea,” says Dana. “She also would not return my iPhone until I agreed to join her on this endeavor.”

A First for LGBTQ-Marketed Wine

As far as Dana and Larisa are aware, Genetic is the first LGBTQ wine label ever produced. (The second, Égalité, from Biagio Cru & Estate Wines, was released in January, and incorrectly touted as the first by news outlets which have since corrected themselves and mentioned Genetic). Genetic is a 2010 Pinot Noir from Willamette Valley, Oregon, and 1% of total sales go towards the Napa LGBTQ Project.  Dana and Larisa hope to donate a larger percentage of sales to LGBTQ causes as their label grows more successful. (We actually connected with them in the first place because of the generous donation they made to our fundraising campaign!) Right now both women still hold down full-time jobs and are pursuing the wine thing in their spare time, which comes with its own challenges, especially in an industry that tends to attract the already-wealthy.

It’s always a challenge to combine business with pleasure, but lesbians have been undaunted by that warning for centuries, Dana and Larisa included. “We’ve definitely had a few more squabbles than we would have had if we weren’t running a wine company,” says Larisa. “However, we made the choice to open a wine company thinking about where we would like to be in the future as a family. At the end of the day, our relationship is stronger because we started this company.”

It certainly seems that way — Dana and Larisa are delightful human beings and a super-cute couple and, despite not being a fan of red wine in general, I found Genetic precisely as intimidating as Dana and Larisa, which is to say: not at all. I love it. If I was a wine expert, I’d note its aromas of wild cherry, sour cherry, blackberry and plum or the “transcendant” ruby and maroon color and then add that it “exhibits all the character of the burgundy with the definite terroir of the Eola Hills in Willamette Valley Oregon.

“We’re surrounded by Cabernet Sauvignon here in Napa Valley, and we wanted to do something different,” Dana said of their decision to make a Pinot Noir.

It was a wise choice. I think we killed a bottle in less than an hour, and went home with extra bottles in tow, which pleased our dinner guests quite a bit:

If you like good wine, lesbians and women-owned independent businesses, you can get your very own bottle of genetic at the Stand Tall website.

The Freezing Femme Does Holigay Hotness

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m real femme. What you definitely haven’t noticed (because we totally haven’t hung out in ages) is that I’m freezing cold. Yup, right this minute. How could I not be? I live in New England and it’s the dead of winter. Not just that, it’s the dead of winter and everyone expects me to be displaying my holiday splendor in a series of teeny-tiny blingy-shiny crimson red dresses. Sure you can wear a winter coat, but what does that do for my legs? What about my toes?! You know how cold my toes get! So yeah, I’m fucking freezing out here. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t filled with jealousy toward’s my butch date’s wool suit, tie and sweater. She’s not cold at all.

So how the hell am I going to tackle Christmas and New Years without subjecting my toes to the Fourteen Degrees But Feels Like Five Degrees With Windchill air? Well I’ve got four tips that will keep you just a bit warmer no matter what holiday you’re celebrating.

For too long we have been at the mercy of thin dresses. Who decided that all holiday dresses should be unlined satin or barely-there?! I don’t know, but they deserve a good slap. There are so many great dresses to be found in the world that are lined, velvet, wool or fur trimmed. I particularly like the idea of a wool dress that is covered in sequin. Between the wool and the plastic you’re bound to be toasty. Alternatively, if you’re going someone more casual, a sweater dress is always a great balance across both the casual-fancy and the warm-sexy lines.

VIA LOOKBOOK.NU

Sleeves are the often ignored middle child of the dress world. Ever since that whole Royal Wedding situation, designers have been showing lace long sleeves. Besides the fact that this looks totally glamorous, it’s one of the easiest ways to make your outfit warmer. You can also find a good deal of long sleeve shift dresses that look so effortless they give you instant “oh this old thing” credit.

Coats
Boots

While many of us picture wedding dresses the instant someone says “long,” the maxi-dress is making a big comeback. I particularly love maxi-dresses because I can hide thermal leggings underneath. Plus, they’re usually pretty loose from the bust down, allowing me to gorge on holiday appetizers without feeling like I’m supposed to spend the whole night sucking in my stomach because I chose to wear a spandex bodycon. Most importantly, a long dress in the winter looks outrageously romantic in a way that short dresses just can’t approximate. This is a good time to take pictures.

It took me a long time to embrace the amazingness that is femme pants. I thought as a femme it was somehow my duty to wear a dress for every special occasion. Plus I was damn near convinced there weren’t any women’s dress pants that looked good on me. This is a load of shit. The coveted secret is the power of high waisted pants. As soon as you start tucking a loose, flowy shirt into pants up to your waistband people know this is your fucking fancy pants look.

VIA ANTHROPOLOGIE.COM

Another super secret is to ditch the goddamn belt. I always end up playing with them all night or worrying they don’t match my shoes well enough. So fuck it! Particularly if you can find pants without belt loops you just don’t need them.

Coats
Boots

I usually choose a good wool-spandex bland for a wide-leg fancy pant. You want the pants to curve up to the fullest part of your butt and then go straight down in back. For a tight pair of pants, I particularly like a stiff brocade. For a dressy tight pant you want to make sure the pants end just at your shoes without crunching up the way skinny jeans do. Additionally, they should lie flat across the front of your pelvis without pulling at your crotch (because that’s just awkward). Remember to have any fancy pants hemmed to the hight of the shoes you’re going to wear them with.

I wish I could go back in time to every winter cocktail dress I’ve ever suffered through and paired it with a little black blazer. Specifically a little tuxedo blazer. A black tux jacket can basically go over any holiday dress and warm you up in no time. Plus, a tux jacket gives you that hint of queer you’re always looking to add to your femme looks.

VIA ANTHROPOLOGIE.COM

Similarly, never underestimate the value of a cardigan. A black, white, red or gem-tone cardigan is a great way to incorporate a sleeveless or strapless dress into a winter outfit. I particularly like crew-neck cardigans button-up in the middle or V-neck cardigans hung loosely open. A cardigan is a particularly awesome accessory because there’s a great chance you already own one! Plus this is the perfect opportunity to finally wear one of those cardigans with The Fancy Buttons your mother keeps buying you.

Cocktail Dresses
Boots

A long wool or faux-fur coat is an unbeatable investment. While I normally tromp around New England in some rendition of a puffy downcoat, I have one beautiful black knee-length designer wool dress coat that I bust out just at special occasions (and sometimes first dates). I think I’ve had this jacket since I was approximately 19, but I wear it so rarely that it’s still in great shape. Plus, long black wool coats never stop looking nice or go out of style. It’s a great investment.

Whether you’re planning a barely there mini-dress or a full on parka, you’re going to want to double up on the warm accessories. The most obvious place to start is with your underwear. You might know of Spanx super-panties for their notorious “shaping” effect, but I have a pair because it’s literally the best way to keep your midsection warm without anyone knowing. Seriously, I’m usually burning up by the end of the night in these. Another great idea is wool stockings. Lucky for us, grey and black stockings are coming in huge this season and shouldn’t be hard to find. The great thing about long underwear and wool stockings is that if you go into a party and get too hot, they can be easily scrunched up and stuffed into your evening bag.

VIA LOOKBOOK.NU

Shoes are also a great place to look for extra warmth. You can always maximize your leg coverage with high boots. While suede or leather evening boots certainly aren’t as warm as your favorite snow boots, you can double up on the warmth by sneaking in some half-high ski socks that nobody will even see. If high boots wreck your look, at least treat yourself to some platform booties which still give you good foot coverage. Plus you can probably still sneak ankle socks. I understand, though, that not every look calls for boots. With this in mind, I would still avoid strappy sandals at all cost. Besides being out of season, when that tiny strip of leather is cutting into your freezing toe you’ll be really kicking yourself.

Coats
Boots

When shopping for your finishing touches, don’t shy away from faux-fur. White and black faux-fur is particularly glamorous and readily available this time of year. Lately stores have been showing little faux-fur stoles that can be worn outdoors and taken off once you’re inside. Similarly faux-fur trimmed gloves are always adorable. If faux-fur isn’t your particular style, there’s no reason to shy away from the classic pashmina or evening gloves. This is the holidays, after all.

The holiday season is stressful enough without having to negotiate what you’re going to wear. Maybe this all sounds like a ton of work. Maybe this just isn’t your year to invest in a whole new holiday look. Maybe you feel like you just want wear your dress from your cousin’s wedding last summer. But for heaven sake be kind to yourself and make a few cold weather style changes. Bundle up, because this definitely isn’t the year for frostbite. Happy holidays and stay warm out there.

Holigay 2012 Gift Guide: What’s Cookin’, Good Lookin’

By Rachel, Carolyn and Kristen

In The Kitchen

If you or someone you love is into food or wants to be, they probably like kitchen things! Food-related gifts are especially fun (if you’re into that) because they can be both useful and something your giftee would not buy themselves at the same time. Scope out their kitchen or eavesdrop a little before hand to make sure you’re not getting them something they already have or won’t use.

The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook

Deb Perelman, the force behind Smitten Kitchen, wrote the world a cookbook and it looks delicious. I was worried the book would basically be the website in print form, but instead it’s 15% website favourites, 85% new material. There are a lot of vegetarian recipes. It also has a ton of photos, tips and a binding that will lay flat so you don’t have to weigh the pages down with ingredients you might later forget to use. Technology!

A Hand Blender

If your giftee lives somewhere cold and/or makes a lot of soup and doesn’t already have an immersion hand blender, you need to fix that STAT. The ability to make blended soups without painstakingly transferring lumps of boiling hot ingredients into a food processor or blender a few cups at a time is nothing short of life changing. You could also probably use it for smoothies or milkshakes or sauce or really anything you want to turn from vaguely lumpy soft ingredients into a smooth finished liquid-like food product with the least amount of effort possible.

A Cast-Iron Pan

Aside from being really, really useful in certain types of cooking, a cast iron pan is a cool gift because it is basically indestructible. The pans come in a range of quality, with Lodge Logic at one end and Le Creuset with an enamel coating at the other. If you want to be really fancy, get one with an extra handle and a spout or two for pouring.

A Flask

Hopefully I do not have to explain why you might want a flask. Pair it with a funnel to avoid spills.

Organize This Situation

Organizational gifts are the black socks of the culinary world. Tupperware? Vacuum sealers? Drainage racks? No one screams out in joy when they unwrap those treats. Even though you know your friend’s hot chocolate tastes like garam masala because all of their spice baggies are spilling into one another, you can’t just reorganize their pantry. Help them help themselves, but have some fun doing it. If there’s form to go along with function, you’re safely in the LegitiGift zone. Note: you should still hold back on buying your girlfriend a vacuum, no matter how cool it is.

Animal-Shaped Cutting Board Set

It’s really hard to prep a large meal when you only have one shitty board, so get your friend a set of wooden pets. If they’re a meat eater, they’ll prevent cross contamination by prepping ingredients on the corresponding board. If they lean towards vegetarian they can remember all of the animals they’re saving while prepping their tofurkey on a cute l’il cow.

Homemade Spice Rack

If you’re just starting out, amassing a spice collection can seem cumbersome and expensive. Is your giftee a huge fan of Middle Eastern cuisines or more partial to spicy Indian curries? Make a personalized spice rack using magnetic canisters filled with ingredients they’ll actually use instead of gifting them a pre-filled set that invariably tastes like sawdust. Just be sure to include a few empty tins so they can continue expanding their collection.

Blackboard Labeled Jars

If your friend’s pantry is exploding with flours, beans and legumes, reorganize it with personalized containers. It’s quite expensive to find a coordinated set of canisters when you have a lot of dry goods, so why not make them match as a present? Make your own blackboard labels from a roll of blackboard contact paper! You can apply the labels directly to the containers they’re already using or you can include a set of Mason Jars to really make them match. You can also install a removable blackboard in their kitchen by applying the remaining paper to any flat surface.

A Set of Rainbow Utensils

No one can argue with rainbows. Help your friend free up precious drawer space with a stand of utensils that sits right by their stove. This set has weighted handles to keep the ends elevated and their counters mess-free! Now they’ll never stab themselves with a corkscrew scrounging for the ladle. Speaking of rainbows:

RainBowls

You could always get them a set of bowls, strainers and measuring spoons. They neatly interlock and hardly take up any real estate! No one’ll say no to a rainbow.

Et Al

This Tea Towel Laneia Showed Me

This would also have made sense in the Tea and Coffee Gift Guide, but since I’ve never been clear on how tea towels are related to actual tea, for me it is a kitchen towel. But it has an elephant and also POM POMS.

BluApple

As a vegan, produce is like 80% of what I eat (the other 20% is tortilla chips and Tasty Bite prepared meals). But I’m also not very good at planning, and so it’s infuriating when I go to make soup only to find that my celery and carrots both went bad last week. If you know someone with the same problem, the BluApple might be a really helpful gift — it keeps things fresh for weeks longer by absorbing the gases related to their composition.

Tequila: A Guide to Types, Flights, Cocktails and Bites

If you and/or your giftee are whiskey aficionados, then just keep scrolling I guess. But for those of us who know how great tequila is, but are sometimes stumped about how to use it besides in margaritas and shots, this book is a godsend. It even includes recipes! Tequila-poached pears, anyone?

Mole Bitters

What to get for the fancy cocktail enthusiast in your life? It seems like they have everything, from a dozen different shakers to one of those weird tiny whisk things that you use for egg whites. Well, I bet they don’t have mole bitters yet! Bam. Use with two parts tequila and one part xtabentun for a delicious Mexican-inspired drink.

Holigay Gift Guide 2012: I Like Coffee, I Like Tea

There’s at least one person in your life who has a tea mug for every day of the week, and who has to stifle their weeping every time they open your kitchen cabinet and finds Folger’s Instant in there. Probably the best thing to do for that person is to make them their own personalized tea, but not all of us have the time, initiative, or bright shining hearts to accomplish that. If this sounds like you, here’s a list of ideas for the loved one who needs to be highly caffeinated, but only in the finest possible way.

The Best-Ever Travel Mug

Rachel: Everyone’s talking about the Contigo Mug, which Amazon reviewers swear you can throw into your purse, leave on the floor of your car, or even toss into a pram with your infant and not worry about leaking hot liquid anywhere. Are these claims true? Only one way to find out!

Kristen: I’m going to confess that I am clumsy as fuck because I’m sure you have someone similar in your life. Even though I can walk and talk at the same time, something goes wrong if I add anything else to that equation. When I drink on the run I’ll invariably forget to properly seal my travel mug, guaranteeing that half of the beverage ends up in my purse or on my person. That is, until I discovered Contigo mugs. Press a button to get to the liquidy goodness trapped inside and depress to seal it back up again. It’s virtually spillproof and idiotproof. You can buy it in a two pack and sneakily get yourself a present too! You and your giftee’s shirts will thank you.

Best-Ever Travel Mugs for Tea Drinkers

Sometimes tea drinkers have special needs when it comes to travel mugs. Are you just gonna let the teabag sit in there indefinitely? What if you’re about that fancy loose tea life? Maybe this person would be interested in tea mugs made especially for teabags and for loose tea. One can pour hot water in there with the teabag, but then separate out the tea from the water, so that it doesn’t oversteep and become bitter.

Tea Infuser Wand

I don’t really understand what this is but I really want one. It’s a WAND for TEA.

Fancy At-Home Pourover Coffee Setup

This is a bold statement to make, but I’m going to make it. If someone in your life is a real, genuine, honest-to-God coffee snob – like, the person who has to crane over the counter and give the barista step-by-step instructions about how they want their drink made – then you can seal your fate as their actual literal favorite person for all of time if you help them assemble the things they need to make a super high-end pourover setup at home. If you can coordinate things with other friends and/or family members so that you can pool your resources and buy them all of these things, you will make your coffee aficionado the happiest little chipmunk this side of the Mississippi. First and most affordably, you’ll want to get a Hario V60, which they can position over their mug to make an individual serving of delicious coffee. Next they’ll need a pourover kettle to get just the right amount of water at the right temperature to pour over (see, that’s where the name comes from) the coffee grounds in their V60 – this electric model is both affordable and convenient. But wait! They can’t use just any coffee grounds – get them a burr grinder so that their coffee can be at the perfect consistency and freshness. I know it seems stupid to you, but trust me, it does not seem stupid to them. In repayment, the next time you get blackout drunk and wake up on their couch at 2 PM the next day, you’ll have the best cup of coffee of your entire life waiting for you.

Aeropress

Kristen: Every morning I want espresso but my love of warm beds trumps that craving. Hence: the Aeropress! I’m too lazy to walk to a cafe, I don’t have the hand-eye coordination to clean a cà phê phin in the morning, nor could I justify buying a DeLonghi. I feel like a lot of us are in the same bloodshot-eyed boat. So, behold the magical coffee syringe!. Put in a filter, measure out your grounds, pour water on top and press your way to caffeination. Clean up is a cinch and only requires you to plunge once more. You can also grab your friend a reusable filter so they waste less. And hey, if they happen to get really good at pushing their morning brew, they could always enter the World Aeropress Championship.

Autostraddle’s Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide 2012: What We Want

Happy holidays, chums! Every year the Autostraddle staff puts together this giant-ass wish list gift guide, and this year is the most giantest-assed one yet! Perhaps it will help you find something extra special for your dearest friends, or maybe we are your dearest friends and you were wondering if we still wanted those Steve Madden boots (we do). In most cases, these items are linked through our affiliate programs, meaning when you spend money after clicking the links, we get some pennies and nickels, too! We like to think of it as Robin Hooding the big corporations and we really REALLY appreciate your support! Seriously.

We also think you should pick up a couple of t-shirts and pre-order the Autostraddle 2013 Calendar at the Autostraddle Goodsie Store while you’re at it!

Ok grab some hot chocolate or tea, or let’s be real — bourbon, and get comfy because this is gonna take a while.

Lizz, Contributing Editor

For Your Fingers, Ears, Keys & Diseases

Noise Canceling Headphones

Noise canceling headphones are truly the only thing I feel like I genuinely need this Chanukah. I tried to fake it with a pair of good quality outside-my-ears style headphones but I can still hear the commotion of the coffee shop when I’m studying. I understand that some people thrive on the background noise of public spaces, but I really need all that to go away immediately.

Lobster Key Chain

I lost my key chain later winter and never replaced it. Obviously this lobster is most amazing thing ever to be attached to keys.

Robbins and Cotran Pathologic Basis of Disease

Yes, I understand that I’m asking for a med school textbook for Chanukah this year, thus making me the biggest loser of all time, but hear me out! This is like a really expensive textbook. No, seriously, it’s like $150 and it’s even expensive used. Normally I would just nut up and buy it, but I already bought the abridged version Robbins Basic Pathology for like $60 and I’m having trouble justifying buying the bigger version. Except it’s the biggest and most amazing textbook of all time. So.

Arrow Ring

I’m usually against giving rings for the Holidays unless you’re on one knee, but I’ll make an exception for this bad boy. I’ve been eyeing this arrow ring from House of Harlow 1960 ever since Emily wore the corresponding necklace on Pretty Little Liars last February. Every time I see it I’m like “Man, I want that ring,” but it’s the kind of thing I would never pull the trigger and just buy for myself. It’s cool because it has that look where it crosses your fingers without actually forcing you to wear an uncomfortable double ring situation.

Annika, Contributor

Femmecessories

In addition to mistletoe, office holiday parties, and awkward family get-togethers, the Holiday Season also means the beginning of months of dry skin and chapped lips. Here area few of my favorite skincare products to help you (or the femme in your life) survive the winter.

Pangea Organics Facial Mask – Japanese Matcha Tea with Acai & Goji Berry

This exfoliating mask helps clear your pores and always leaves my skin feeling soft and healthy. It’s loaded with everything you want (all-natural ingredients and essential oils) and nothing you don’t (parabens and synthetic fragrances).

Soap & Glory Night in Shining Armour Night Cream

Ignore the heteronormative product name — this calming and moisturizing night cream is one of the best that I’ve tried. I apply it to my face and neck right before going to bed, and I always wake up feeling refreshed. Your skin does most of its repair work at night, so it’s important not to neglect this important step in your beauty routine!

Korres Balancing Cream-Gel Moisturiser, Pomegranate

This lightweight, natural moisturizer helps minimize pore and tone skin without every feeling greasy or heavy. I use it under my primer and foundation, but this moisturizer is perfect on its own as well.

Carmen,Contributing Editor

Real Needs

The Royal Tenenbaunms

If I were writing to Santa this year I would start, “Santa — Can you save Hostess?” But I digress.

I want Wes Anderson movies, but particularly The Royal Tenenbaums because once I couldn’t watch it and wanted to so badly that I read the screenplay on the way to the work and listened to the soundtrack at the same time. Also because I think Margot Tenenbaum is my new fashion icon.

Moleskine Sketchbook

I need a notebook I can bring to work and camp and into my bed where I sometimes have lots of feelings I need to write down, but almost never a pen. So I want this red leather Moleskine sketchbook because I love Moleskine shamelessly and you can’t change a person.

Flower Printed Backpack

Once I get all this shit I’ll need to transport it, though. And guess what? My backpack fucking broke, you guys. I guess now I need a new one and therefore need to find a way to get it for free. What great seasonal timing! To be honest, the decision of which one I want is causing me to have a reluctant femme moment about this floral one. I like this pink beige color but really any will do.

Andy Warhol iPhone Case

I hate only asking for shit I need though, so if we’re gonna get into what I really, really want the answer is going to be this case for my now-outdated iPhone. If I had an Andy Warhol soup can iPhone case it would be the final memento in my weird, mall-caliber collection of his memorabilia.

Stef, Contributor

Weird But Useful

Star Wars Death Star Tea Infuser

Cleverly combines two of the best things in the world: loose leaf tea and the dark side of the force.

Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics 6 Piece Glitter Set

Basically everything that comes from this all-vegan cosmetics company is pure magic. The colours are amazing, and I love knowing that I’ve bought an ethically-made product that wasn’t tested on animals. Also, GLITTER.

Water-Resistant Headlamp

This is a really good way to prepare for A-Camp, Frankenstorms and slumber parties.

Spider Serving Dishes by Laura Zindel

Because if there’s one thing I want to think about while eating a lovingly prepared meal, it’s the giant spiders crawling around on the dish underneath.

Brittani, Contributing Editor

Just Practical

Brita Atlantis Water Filter

I’m literally the worst person to shop for in the world because I don’t like anything and the things I do like, people deem too boring to be called a “gift.” When my girlfriend asked me what I want for Christmas, I said a strip tease and a Brita filter. I don’t think I’ll be getting either but it’s worth a shot.

The aforementioned Brita filter. Whatever you have to say about water filters, I don’t care. I want one. It’s this kind of blind consumerism that drives this country.

Beanie

Beanies have never sat well with me. I love hats but for some reason beanies always seemed odd. I think I’ve finally realized this was no fault of beanies but more an issue with people wearing beanies that aren’t doing them any favors. I’m now open to beanies, is what I’m saying.

Twin City Socks

I lost two good socks to holes this year. These are dark times in the sock drawer, but it’s a good enough reason for me to add the best pair of socks in the world to this list. They are so thick and comfortable and perfect for winter. It’s like hot chocolate for your feet. They also aren’t a brand name, so no worries of mixing Adidas socks with your Nike shoes or vice versa. I know you might not care about that kind of thing but I, like most black people, do.

 Next Up: vibrators, lizard skulls and bento boxes!

Baby, It’s Cold Outside: Winter Outerwear Essentials for the Discerning Butch

It’s getting chilly outside, homos. While an electric blanket and cuddle buddy can keep you toasty indoors, you’ll need something equally warm to battle your daily commutes and date nights and the trek to queer karaoke on Fridays.

Remember: Winter outerwear is an investment. While I’d like to say that we can buy all of our wardrobe essentials at H&M and Forever21 and expect them to do the job, such is not the case. In the world of outerwear, the pricetag often hints at the length of time the item will last, and its efficiency in performing its duties. Being warm in the winter isn’t just a convenience – it’s something that will keep you healthier and happier, and while a quality parka or peacoat might take more out of your budget, it’s a necessary purchase. Make the investment.

This guide has been designed on a scale of winter conditions, from warmest to coldest. If you live in warmer weather where you’ll only need to protect from the occasional chill, you probably need jackets from the beginning of the list. If you live in a place akin to the one I grew up and require something to cross a dangerous frozen tundra formerly known as your driveway, you’ll need the tougher gear.

As is my family’s motto, “If you’re cold, it’s your own damn fault!”

Mild to Chilly

Lined Denim Jacket

Wear it over flannel and keep a pack of American Spirits in the front pocket if you want to be my twin.

• Lee $50
• Levi’s ON SALE $60 from $98 
• Schaefer $170

Varsity Jacket

Pretend you were a high school athlete, channel your inner teen pop star, or just look really sharp.

• Huf $75
• Navy Baseball $78
• Reigning Champ $115

Chilly to Shiver-Inducing

Peacoat

Peacoats are damn classy, so they’re nice enough to wear to work or out to dinner. Or you could wear nothing but sparkly gold underwear underneath and wear it to your queer poledancing class.

• ASOS $105
• BDG $129
• Marc by Marc Jacobs $648

Toggle Jacket

Ahoy, sailors. It’s nautical. It’s versatile. It’s got big toggle things on it for girls to busy their hands with when you’re kissing in a sudden flurry.

• Topshop $70
• ASOS $138
• J.Crew $268

Shiver-Inducing to Damn!

Parka

Will keep you warmer than a bottle of whiskey and a jacuzzi. Note: don’t mix whiskey and jacuzzi.

• ASOS $138
• The North Face $330
• Supreme $368

Down Jacket

Look puffy, feel warm. All the ladies will want to touch your marshmallow-like exterior.

• Mountain Hardware $140
• Salomon $206
• Marmot $206

Holigay 2012 Gift Guide: Geeky Gifts for All Variables of Nerds

by lana, tami, cara & whitney 

Tech? Check. Robots? Check. Apps? Yup, we have those too. Basically, if your nerdy queer is going to be the one watching the Doctor Who Christmas episode the night it comes out, this is your list. Now the only hard part about holigay shopping is sorting through your googolplex of options. May the Force Be With You.

Nerdware

Doctor Who

Why yes, those are Daleks and Rainbows combined on one awesome sweatshirt ($46). If you love the Doctor Who but are more of a weeping angels kinda queer, try Keep Calm and Don’t Blink ($50), a delightful play on the WWII British propaganda poster that includes a TARDIS. Or how about just a straight up TARDIS? A Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey sweatshirt ($47) might be for you. Keep in mind that almost all of these sweatshirt prints can be had as tee-shirts and other cool stuff as well.

Want some bling on a ring? This Starry Night Tardis ring may be just the thing ($10). For the dapper among us, try a tie that’s bigger on the inside ($24).

Hogwarts

This Ravenclaw Quidditch Team Captain sweatshirt ($48) is essentially the crux of my inner eleven-year-old’s dreams. Speaking of crux, this sweatshirt will remind your loved ones to Make Love Not Horcruxes ($44). And if that’s not enough of a reminder to be on the right side, remember that I Want You For Dumbledor’s Army ($48). Or maybe you just want to tell your girlfriend Always ($44).

Doe you solemnly swear that you’re up to no good? Then this bracelet ($13) is for you. When things go wrong, we can always point to this necklace and say “Keep Calm and Blame the Nargels” ($12).

Bluetooth Gloves

Speaking of cold-blooded beings, does winter make you want to curl up in your shell and hibernate? Do you sometimes steal your turtle’s UV lamp to comfort yourself when the weather outside is frightful? Well now you can at least feel free to call home crying as you brave the frigid wastes. All “talk to the hand” jokes aside, this Bluetooth glove is the most hilarious thing to happen to winter since Elf. Holding your hand up to your face and talking to it might make you feel awkward, but feeling awkward makes you warmer. Fact.

 Tech

Hardware

For those who are building their own computers this winter, try this 55 piece computer toolkit by Belkin ($36). For those of us who aren’t there quite yet, here’s a Samsung Chrome book ($249). Can you believe it? That’s a whole computer. A whole computer for $250! If you have a high concentration of readers on your list, you’ll probably want to consider the kindle family, with a Kindle starting at $69 or a Kindle Fire starting at $159.

Have an LGBT person who’d love to make their lightbulbs rainbow and control them from their iPhone or iPad? You can provide them with that! Hue by Phillips ($290) can make their dream a reality (also they’re super energy efficient.) Satisfying a real audiophile? Bose is the way to go, with a pair of kickass computer speakers ($89) or a set with a subwoofer included ($359). And with all these cables, you may want to cable manage with Blue Drop ($11). For some computer hardware that falls into the category of “beautifully carved,” there’s always a Bamboo wireless keyboard and mouse set ($85).

Software

Living with a computer programmer? Try BBEdit, a code markup software that you can gift for Mac ($50) If you’re shopping for someone who’s not a computer programmer, try Scribblenauts Remix for iOS ($0.99). The premise of the game is that you type anything in and bam, the game makes it for you to use in solving puzzles and going on adventures. If you type rainbow in before anything (like friendly rainbow gorilla, for instance), it will be so.

Give the gift of safety with CrashPlan, a site that allows you to back up your computer wirelessly. If your best friend loves to cut corners, gift them Breevy ($35), a text expander for windows that lets you type abbreviations and come out with full words, or TextExpander for Mac ($35) (and even iOS for $5) which does the same. Mom and Dad haven’t upgraded their operating systems in a bajillion years? Give the gift of remaining current with a Windows 8 upgrade ($40) or a Mac OS 10.8 Mountain Lion upgrade ($20), depending on their hardware.

 Cases

For the iPhone 4/4s user, try the BookBook by Twelve South ($39) which is an iPhone case and wallet all in one, and has the added bonus of resembling a book. You can also get the BookBook case for iPhone 5 ($60) by Twelve South. Need to buy for someone a little bit rougher? Try an Otterbox for 4/4s ($35) or even for the 5 ($35). They come in a ton of colors and you can’t beat the protection. Want a case that’ll charge your iPhone? You can grab a Mophie Juice Pack Plus ($100) for your 4/4s.

If you’re shopping for a laptop user this holiday, their laptop should probably live in a Fleece Monster by Barry’s Farm ($45). Fyi, they hand make all their accessories! They also make some pretty unique iPad sleeves, like this one that looks like notebook paper ($30). Didja get someone a kindle? Pair it with a case from Pad and Quill ($40-$60) that is made of quality wood and looks like a book!  If your iPhone was born in the wrong time, it might feel better dressed up like a cassette tape ($2!), or a retro Nintendo controller ($15).

Books

Know someone who gets all beamed up by science fiction? An English translation of Icelandic author Andri Snær Magnason’s wacky and prescient LoveStar ($12) was finally released last month (I haven’t read it yet, but this excerpt sold me, as did the fact that Magnason once wrote a book of poetry that was only sold in supermarket checkout lines). Then you have Marisa Meyer’s Cinder ($11), in which Cinderella is a cyborg; Alastair Reynolds’s Blue Remembered Earth ($18), in which an elephant expert is blackmailed into going to the moon; and the annual Nebula Awards showcase ($13), which is a grab bag of different-flavored electric gumballs. For those more into science fact, there’s Samuel Arbeson’s The Half Life of Facts ($13) (facts about facts! mind explosion!), Mark Henderson’s self-explanatory The Geek Manifesto ($18), 21st-century dreamboat Nate Silver’s The Signal and the Noise ($17),  and Neuromancer scribe William Gibson’s first collection of journalism, Distrust That Particular Flavor ($18). If you’d prefer a little of both, pick up Kurt Vonnegut’s newest posthumous fiction allsorts, We Are What We Pretend to Be ($14) and his recently released collected Letters ($22). You can read one and give one to your girlfriend, and then swap when you’re done – it’s like literary boko-maru.

Household Gadgets, Etc.

If you know someone who’s constantly banged up in the shin area, maybe that person need a motion-sensing nightlight ($14). Your well-meaning but forgetful friend might like a self-watering plant pot ($34). Keep all your new gadgets safe with a portable wireless alarm system ($190) – it’s self-installable and customizable, and sends you security alerts on your smartphone. You’ll probably need a coffee table book to tie the room together  – The Where, The Why and the How, in which artists illustrate 75 of science’s big unanswered questions,  ($15), or Hidden Treasure, which collects photographs and drawings from the National Library of Medicine, will balance out all that chrome.

Legos

A lot of us have dogs. Most of us have cats. An elite and geeky few of us have amphibious or otherwise aquatically-inclined creatures, including king of the nerd pets, winner of race, the turtle! Here’s looking at you, Jeff Shellington! These creatures are our children, and nothing says “I love you” like unnecessary gifts for someone else’s children. Aquarium decorations are a fun gift idea, but most of the standard accessories you’ll find in the store are boring. So be creative! Find a LEGO set that speaks to you and run with it. I like the Star Wars sets because they reach maximum nerd potential and tend to have rounder edges and larger (aka choke-proof-ier) pieces than other sets. However, if I could figure out a non-toxic way to create my own scenario using altered regular LEGOs like this person, I would.

Video Games and Gamer Paraphernalia

Remember when we told you about Autostraddle’s World of Warcraft guilds? Remember how we wanted to hang out in Azeroth with you? We weren’t kidding. This winter, give the gamer in your life the gift of rez sickness. They’ll /love you for it.

Do you like alcohol? Do you like Pac-Man? BAM. Pac-Man shot glasses. I feel like the best way to imbibe alcohol is from designated retro video game paraphernalia, and these Pac-Man glasses are perfect for the job. These shot glasses come in sets of four, with Pac-Man, Inky (the blue ghost), Blinky (the red ghost) and Clyde (the orange ghost) — you can fight over who gets the Pac-Man shot glass and then drink some Pac-Man cherry shots from these glasses to give Pac-Man his cherry fix. Just mix cherry vodka, cherry schnapps and lemon-lime soda.

I love me a dapper queer, and a dapper queer can never have too many special ties for special occasions. This I Love Video Games tie is for that Duck Hunt-ing gamer geek in your life for those dapper Duck Hunt-ing moments. What I like about this tie is that its pattern is a little more subtle than other game-themed ties I’ve seen — the pattern is filled with retro gaming gear, from the classic Nintendo Entertainment System controller to NES Zapper to the Power Glove, to NES game cartridges (fittingly labeled with “The Best Game Ever”). If you like this tie, you might want to check out this Asteroids-themed tie, or this Tron Light Bike-themed tie.

It might not look like much, but I spent many hours playing on this tiny Tetris Jr. keychain when I was growing up — oh Tetris nostalgia: I got it. Do you have a manic Tetris-playing friend? This is probably the perfect present for that person. The keychain is about an inch and a half by two inches, so it can fit into pockets and can be clipped on to backpacks. It also boasts eight different game modes including classic and elimination (getting rid of junk blocks at the bottom of the screen). The keychain also comes with tinny retro handheld music, so if you want to listen to the classic Tetris theme blared out or your matchbook-sized gaming system, you can.

Cave Story Plus is a platformer for both Mac and PC. It’s available on Steam, so if you or your loved ones and cuddle buddies haven’t played this indie game yet, you really, really should — what better time than the holidays? While the original Cave Story is available to download and play for free online, Cave Story Plus is a remastered version of the original 320 by 320 pixel game and includes remastered sound, remodeled HD graphics, a copy of the original Cave Story, and additional gameplay modes that are not in the original. This game is one of the most beautiful and well-designed games I’ve ever played. I could probably go on about it for days — to sum it up, it has bunny-like creatures called Mimiga, massive eggs and beautiful level design and features a slough of different types of guns that do everything from shoot bubbles to fling you in the air, jetpack-style. There’s a video here if you’d like to see more.

Role-playing games are my absolute favorite. If you or your friends enjoy playing Pokémon Mystery Dungeon or Diablo 2, you’d probably also enjoy Dungeons of Dredmor, which is one of my favorite roguelike games. Quick Video Game Culture 101: A roguelike is a type of RPG that often has permanent death (if you die, you have to start from the beginning of the game), randomized levels and turn-based combat. If you like all of these things, this game is for you. Dungeons of Dredmor is a tongue-in-cheek roguelike with a deep sense of sarcasm and hilarious sense of detail. In this game, you replenish health by eating different types of elaborate cheeses (including parmigiano reggiano cheese and smoked applewood gouda cheese) and you replenish magic by drinking different types of alcohol (from vodka and brandy to absinthe and grog — the last one an homage to The Secret of Monkey Island games). The game is available for both Mac and PC on Steam. Check out a video of Dungeons of Dredmor here.

If you or your friends have a Nintendo 3DS (and, if your giftee happens to be one of your besties, you might want to check out deals on the 3DS console in case this person doesn’t), you probably want to check out Paper Mario: Sticker Star. Remember the first Paper Mario that came out on the Nintendo 64? The game touts the same paper-esque visuals and a new sticker system that gives Mario special attacks and moves. Sticker Star also retains the Super Mario RPG-style action commands that give Mario an additional offensive or defensive boost. Also, who doesn’t love this mustachioed plumber? Check out a playthrough video here.

New Autostraddle Merch Is Here! “Straddle This” Boxer-Briefs, “You Do You” T-Shirts & More!

Hello diligent supporters and those who desire fancy new merchandise. I come bearing good news and hopefully gift ideas for your cute gay friends! Or your straight friends! Or whoever!

We have stocked our store full of stuff in preparation for the Holidays and the new year. We made things for you! Let’s take a little tour of our new store items.

Below is our store widget for you to browse right here in this article. And below I’ll go into detail of our new products, as well as give you a sneak peek of something special that’s currently in the works:

1. The 2013 Autostraddle Calendar
As always, we have our calendar. I designed it, so I’m biased when I say that I think it’s awesome. So awesome that I made this little video to show it to you:

Also we’re stoked to share that Curve Magazine has featured our 2013 Calendar in their December issue with all these other impressive queer calendars! Thanks Curve, we appreciate the support! Fuck yeah community.

2. “You Do You” Tri-blend V-Necks
If you were not one of the 411 people who selected the “You Do You T-shirt” perk in the Indiegogo campaign for our redesign, then you missed out on a perfectly soft black American Apparel Tri-blend V-neck with a two-color “You Do You” imprint.

However, you can get in on this perfectly soft indigo American Apparel Tri-blend V-neck with a one-color white “You Do You” imprint. We’ve never sold a tri-blend shirt in our store before, because they cost more to make, but we feel like it’s totally worth it.

Same idea, different shirts – don’t miss this one this time.

3. “Straddle This” Boxer Briefs
Based on the popular “Autostraddle This” shirts which are also available. You wanted underwear, and these American Apparel boxer briefs are one of my favorite styles.

Note: the sizes are in mens – they’re unisex.

4. “Autostraddle THIS” Shirts
Back by popular demand! We’ve been offering these for almost two years and they always sell out.

5. “You Do You” Briefs
If it can be printed on, we will print ‘you do you’ on it. Trust. These American Apparel briefs are also unisex (mens sizes) and are good for avoiding that underwear line you can get on your leg from wearing boxer briefs with tight pants. Or maybe that’s just my problem. I’m not sure, I should really leave my house more often.

6. Unicorn Plan-It Raglan 3/4 Sleeve Shirt
A black and heather gray baseball tee with the “Unicorn Plan-It” logo across the chest. These have been hugely popular and we only have a few left!

And of course, there’s tote bags: a “You Do You” tote and “A-Camp” tote from this past September, as well as A-Camp shirts.

All that is exciting and all, but there’s one more thing that you need to know. This is really important. We have a new merch item that is currently in production and we’re kind of really excited about it…

Ready?

IT’S A MEMO JOURNAL YOU GUYS

It’s a memo journal for all your feelings!!!

These will be 48-page memo journals custom-made by Bound for Anything, who we love, and who you can order your own custom journal from! It’s a nifty idea, I wish I had thought of it.

For the interior pages of the 3.5″ x 5.5″ memo journal, we included both lined and blank pages as well as graph pages, checklist pages, and the best thing: hangman-ready and tic-tac-toe game pages, all enclosed in a “So Many Feelings” custom cover.

We hope you like the stuff we have to offer this year and browse the Autostraddle Store to check them out. Thanks to all of you for your continued support and happy holidays!

xo Alex

– – –

Autostraddle Merch Store

Holigay Gift Guide 2012: History Buffs, Campaign Nerds and Political Junkies, Oh My

History and political buffs are a special kind of people for me – I am one, and I grew up with a very hardcore one as a mom. But some people don’t understand how many fun gift ideas there are out there for people like us. So let me be your guide as I walk you through the Autostraddle Holigay Gift Guide for history and politics fans.

(Note: As far as politics goes, I’m going to assume the people you’d consider buying political gifts for are left-of-center. Are you really going to encourage your angry Fox-News-watching Tea Party uncle? Exactly. And I apologize that most of the cool political stuff I know will be centered around U.S. politics.)

via Wall Street Journal

Nate Silver: The Signal and the Noise ($28, $17 with Amazon Prime)

What political junkie isn’t totally obsessed with Nate Silver this year? That’s right – none. He got every single prediction right except for North Dakota’s Senate race. That’s a pretty impressive record. So of course every political nerd on your list (as well as a lot of sports fans and math/statistics nerds) will be furiously writing Santa for his new book, The Signal and the Noise, where Silver explains how to tell the good predictions apart from the bad ones in everything from politics to baseball to hurricanes.

Retro Campaigns T-Shirts ($20)

Do you have a friend who yearns wistfully for the days when Democrats were as strong-willed as FDR or LBJ? Let her advocate for her real favorite candidates with t-shirts from Retro Campaigns, a site that celebrates historical presidential candidates. Both Roosevelts and Lyndon Johnson are here, along with Clinton, George McGovern, Lincoln, all three Kennedys, Jesse Jackson and others. If you really want to show off your U.S. history smarts, you can even get a shirt of William Henry Harrison’s “Tippecanoe and Tyler Too!” slogan, from one of the earliest modern campaigns all the way back in 1840.

As for those who prefer to look forward, CafePress has a ton of “Hillary 2016” gear.

Interactive History Mugs ($13)

Nothing is better after a long, cold winter day than a mug of your favorite hot drink (coffee? tea? hot chocolate? heavily-spiked eggnog? use your imagination) by the fireside. But why not have a mug as awesome as your drink? The Unemployed Philosopher’s Guild is pretty much the one-stop shop for humanities nerds of all stripes, and their set of “disappearing” mugs (where parts of them disappear when the mug is hot, but reappear when it cools) covers just about every type of history or politics buff. For example:

“Great Gays of History” Mug: Make sure to get this one for your favorite LGBT history nerd – even if that’s yourself! It features some of the most influential queers in history, from Sappho to Tchaikovsky, Alan Turing to Gertrude Stein, emerging from the closet as the mug gets warmer.

Disappearing Wives of Henry VIII Mug: If you have any Tudors-obsessed friends, or people who are into English history in general, this is the gift for them (if they don’t already have one!)

Disappearing Dinosaurs Mug: For those whose historical interests are more prehistoric, there’s this mug that lets you watch the dinosaurs go extinct. I don’t think “vanishing as a result of warm coffee” is a popular theory with scientists, though.

Disappearing Civil Liberties Mug: For that friend who is a card-carrying ACLU member and loses sleep over the Patriot Act and Tea Partiers trying to write Biblical law into the Constitution.

Great Supreme Court Cases Mug: For your favorite political science major or aspiring lawyer, watch the cases that have been overturned or invalidated disappear as the mug gets hotter.

Global Warming Mug: For the passionate environmentalist on your list who is always trying to reduce her carbon footprint. You can watch the continents shrink from rising ocean levels as the temperature (literally, in this case!) goes up.

Historical Finger Puppets ($6 each, four for $20)

In more fun from the Unemployed Philosophers’ Guild, did you know that you can get finger puppets of your favorite historical figures and philosophers? And they’re also magnets! My mom owns the ones for Joan of Arc and Macchiaveli; you can choose your own adventures with historical figures from all over the world, from famous to obscure – and there are a lot of women, people of color and queers in the mix. Whatever era your favorite history buff enjoys, there’s bound to be something for her.

I personally think the Michel Foucault finger puppet would also make a hilarious gift for your favorite queer academic.

Marie Antoinette Action Figure with Ejectable Head ($13)

My mom also owns this thing, which I think is just amazing and will be appreciated by any history buff regardless of his or her particular specialty. Yes, Marie Antoinette not only has a removable gown and wig but her head actually pops off! For added Jacobin fun, you can get an authentic-looking desk-sized guillotine ($25).

The same company that makes Marie, Accoutrements, also has a number of other fun historical action figures.

via thenation.com

Political Magazine Subscriptions

Every political junkie has to constantly stay on top of the latest polls and analysis, and so you’ll be their best friend if you ensure they’ll be well-informed for the next 12 months by gifting a subscription to their favorite mag. The New Republic offers a year of issues for $30, Foreign Policy for $36 and The New Yorker for $40. You can get eight issues plus two free to The Atlantic for $15; Harper’s has a similarly good deal for only two cents more. For people who want distinctly left-leaning media, there’s The Nation ($32/yr), and Mother Jones ($15/yr).

via lindsayburoker.com

Political Donation

But sometimes the best things you can do for a friend, girlfriend or family member feels strongly about politics is to show your support by giving their favorite cause a donation in their name. Is she passionately pro-choice? Give a donation to Planned Parenthood. About marriage equality? Give to Freedom to Marry. The sky is the limit here, and it really depends on what the person’s pet cause is and what they want to do with it. Make sure to do your research, though, through groups like Charity Navigator, which has a Holiday Gift Guide.