Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Share Lite
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the Share Lite by Fun Factory.
Okay, before I begin, I should emphasize that I loved this toy. My girlfriend also loved this toy! I’m going to be somewhat critical in this review — because I want to be honest with you and because I am nothing if not an Intrepid Sex Toy Review Journalist determined to provide you with research and The Truth. But in spite of all of my upcoming commentary, I did really love this toy. I’ve used it a lot since receiving it both with my girlfriend and, surprisingly, solo, and I think it’s great. If you’re looking for a double-ended dildo, this is an excellent option, and I would pay money for this toy even if I hadn’t received it for free in exchange for this review (which is my ultimate test to determine if a toy is good or not).
So, now that that’s out of the way, let’s thrust in.
The Share Lite is a double-ended dildo created by Fun Factory in an attempt to solve the age-old problem of “why the fuck won’t this double dildo stay inside me while I try to fuck my partner, even though you allegedly don’t need a harness to keep it in place.”
Tragically, this double-ended dildo has not solved that age-old problem.
I tried out the double dildo both ways: as the person “wearing” it (aka with the girthier end hooked inside my vagina), and as the person experiencing my partner wear it (aka getting fucked with and sucking on the longer shaft). None of these experiences were bad — remember, I like this toy very much! — but it also became abundantly clear that this dildo would stay in place a lot better if the person wearing it had a harness on. Because my girlfriend and I don’t own any harnesses with an open O-ring design (although we’ve been coveting this one, handmade by Switch Leather Co. in Portland, OR!) this was impossible and led to some funny and/or disappointing mishaps as we experimented with this toy.
If you’ve got a harness that allows you to use a double-ended dildo with it, I would say the Share Lite is perfect. With just a little extra support to hold it in place, I can’t imagine what could go wrong. One side is kind of thick and shaped perfectly to hit a G-spot, there’s a really nice wide external base that rubbed against my clit perfectly when I was wearing that side (and with the flexible nature of the material, I think it would accommodate many different body shapes to accomplish this on many different people), and the other side is long, flexible and erect, designed to hit both G- and P-spots! This is another aspect of this particular double dildo that Fun Factory really highlighted, and unlike the promise that this would stay put with no harness, they did deliver on this statement. Compared to other double-ended dildos, the Share Lite stayed noticeably erect through whatever we put it through, which made it extra fun to give blowjobs or bounce up and down on the shaft. Fun Factory is also proud of the hinge and the new lightweight core, because those details make the toy more accessible for lots of different body types, and I will affirm that the toy seemed very adjustable.
But: I really tried to think if it would be possible to keep this double dildo inside one’s body without a harness — like maybe if you do 100 kegels every day (I do not)? — but I think the answer is no, science has just not been able to solve this Important Conundrum just yet. This toy stayed in place sometimes — specifically when the wearer was receiving a blowjob or when the person not wearing it was on top and bouncing around, which, as I mentioned, was very fun, 10/10, would recommend! — but when serious thrusting was involved, this toy just couldn’t stay put. It is both hilarious and tragic to be very close to orgasm and to be begging for your girlfriend to fuck you harder and deeper and to then have the implement with which she’s doing just that pop out between the two of you and get lost in the bedsheets. Like, it’s fine, but it’s not ideal.
All of that said, the one surprising (to me) highlight of this particular toy is that it was very fun to use solo. I used the Share Lite while I was masturbating and hooked the girthy base inside my vagina, stroked the outer shaft as if I was giving myself a handjob and then flipped onto my stomach so the base was pushed forcefully against my clit and kind of like, rode the internal shaft until I orgasmed? I often do that move with a regular dildo and an external vibrator on my clit, but it was fun to realize that because of the mechanics of the double-ended dildo, there was enough friction on my clit without a vibrator to accomplish that same goal. I love a toy that can perform more than one function, so I was delighted by this discovery.
In conclusion, this toy is great! I don’t think the Share Lite is earth-shatteringly different than double-ended dildos of the past, and I don’t think it is quite as great as the company’s PR copy makes it out to be (but like, to be fair, what product is ever quite as great as the company’s PR copy makes it out to be? I do understand how marketing works and I do love Fun Factory!), but I think it’s worth your money, especially if you own a harness that will accommodate a double dildo and especially if you can laugh at yourself when things inevitably don’t go perfectly according to plan.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Lovense Hyphy
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the the Lovense Hyphy.
Like their cousin the suction/air pressure toy, oscillating toys aren’t new anymore. Both sensations were somewhat novel when toys like the Womanizer, the Eroscillator and the Zumio came on the scene. I had never used an oscillating/rotating toy before I tried the Zumio, and I LOVED it. Since then, several toys like the Inya Le Pointe with a similar shape boasting “concentrated vibrations” have popped up; they look fun, and also the price point suggests their motors probably aren’t powerful enough to get the intensity of something like the Zumio. I assumed there wasn’t much there to be improved upon — until I saw the Lovense Hyphy Dual-End High-Frequency Vibrator. It had a substantial enough base, so it looked like it did, in fact, house a high-frequency motor. I was also intrigued by the interchangeable heads — so I put it to the test.
The first thing I noticed, as someone who owns a lot of vibrators, is that the storage for the Lovense Hyphy is pretty unusual. The toy comes in a hard plastic case with a clear lid for viewing that reminds me of the cryogenic sleeping pods in Alien. Underneath the case’s midsection where the main body of the toy is stored, there’s a miniature storage area for the toy’s three interchangeable tips. I didn’t love it at first — the case follows the curved shape of the toy, which makes it sort of awkward to fit into tight spaces like a drawer or a storage bin, and it doesn’t feel as intuitive to handle as a drawstring bag. It felt clunky and fussy at the same time. I was trying to imagine popping open the lid, managing the tiny interior lid and juggling very small wand attachments in the middle of partnered sex with people moving on the mattress and your hands covered in lube, etc. It’s not ideal, and it would be easy to lose an attachment in the bedsheets.
However, one neat thing I’ve never seen before is that the case itself has both inner and outer charging ports, which means that you can plug in the case itself and charge the Lovense Hyphy inside it with the lid closed. I always hate charging toys out in the open air and exposing them to dust or cat hair or what have you, so that option is genuinely appealing (and it also fits the sci-fi theme).
As far as the actual vibrating goes, the toy had a lot of options. There are technically five ways to use the Hyphy: 1. sans interchangeable tip, 2. with the soft spherical silicone tip, 3. with the two-pronged “U-shaped” tip (shaped kind of like the Jimmyjane Form 2), 4. with the “tongue” attachment, which is a long, flat plane of silicone meant to feel like oral sex, and 5. using the handle of the toy for internal/G-spot stimulation.
I tried option 1 first — my first impression was that it wasn’t quite as strong as the Zumio and that the sensation was concentrated mostly in the very tip of the toy, whereas in other vibrators with this pinpoint wand shape, you can feel sensation more along the entire length of the wand portion. Then I tried bumping up to the second power setting, and it was DEFINITELY strong enough. If you’re someone who needs very intense stimulation, very focused stimulation or both, I’m pretty confident your needs will be met here.
Things got even more interesting when I tried the attachments. I didn’t particularly fall in love with the spherical one, although it’s likely a good fit for anyone who’d like to buffer the vibrations of the toy a bit. The U-shaped attachment feels fantastic; because of the way clitoral tissue extends inside the vulva, stimulation on either side of the clit often feels good for people, and this is a great way to get that sensation without committing to a vibrator that does only or primarily that (also, it feels great on nipples or other body parts!). I will say that using lube improves the experience of using the Lovense Hyphy pretty dramatically; the soft matte silicone of the attachments is a really pleasant texture, but it can also create some drag against your body, which kind of dulls the sensation.
The long tongue-like attachment was the one that confused me most before trying the Hyphy, and this did not really change after I tried it out. Although it’s advertised in the product copy as being reminiscent of oral sex, it is perhaps not surprising based on even theoretical knowledge of how either oral sex or pinpoint vibration work that this doesn’t really bear out. That doesn’t mean it’s a wash, though. After trying a few different angles and types of pressure, I found a unique experience from holding it super lightly over my clit so it just barely touched it as it flickered — for me, at least, this created an intense sensation (but not one that made me come) and could be fun for edging or just for using the Hyphy a little more creatively and counter to its stated purpose of making you orgasm super fast.
Before trying it out, I went back to the product copy to double-check that I was intended to try using the handle end of the Lovense Hyphy for penetration. Indeed, the copy does describe a “a powerful insertable vibrator at the base” — to be honest, if it hadn’t told me so, I’m not sure I would have thought of it, and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. Although technically the handle does vibrate, the motor for the Hyphy is located just where the wand meets the handle, roughly where the buttons are — very high up and far from the curved handle end ostensibly intended for G- or P-spot stimulation. Whatever vibration you can feel is just what travels down the toy from the wand motor; it’s very weak compared to the vibration of the toy itself, and it won’t give you the G-spot or P-spot stimulation of an insertable vibrator designed for that purpose. If using both ends of the toy as powerful vibrators was a big draw for you, I might recommend something like the O Mega Pinpoint Dual-Ended Vibrator, which has two independent motors and two head attachments.
That said, the handle side is a totally serviceable insertable toy as long as you weren’t relying on the vibrations. It’s definitely pretty girthy and doesn’t really have any give, so using lube is a good idea. It’s probably not going to be your favorite penetration toy, but it’s solid if you want to only invest in (or pack) one go-to vibrator and don’t want to have to worry about a separate penetration toy. Be warned that it’s not safe for anal play without some kind of base; you can buy some kind of removable flange if you do want to use it for that.
Although I wouldn’t say all five of the Lovense Hyphy’s featured uses blew me away, the ones that did were more than good enough — it’s a beautiful, sleekly-designed vibrator that will likely become a consistent part of your sex life if you like pinpoint sensation. Enjoy the U-shape, and don’t forget the lube!
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Snail Vibe
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the Snail Vibe.
I won’t keep you in suspense: I hated this toy.
When I was given the opportunity to review a toy called Snail Vibe, I was stoked — I love weird sex and I love strange sex toys and cool, you’re telling me this vibrator shaped kind of like a snail is going to make me orgasm? Hell yes. Let’s go.
Well, unfortunately friends, we did not really go. I gave it my all, I swear, but this toy disappointed me.
The packaging for the Snail Vibe is cute and sleek. It comes in a zipped up hardshell case that was reminiscent of the thing I used to carry my discman around in when I was 16 (and that was a pro for me). My first impression, when I unzipped the case, was that it’s a fairly unruly toy: I’ve gotten very used to sleek and solid vibes over the years, and this one is sort of… I don’t know, my first feeling was that it had octopus energy? Like the base/shaft is very firm, but then the curly “snail” part is very bouncy, and it just seemed quite large. And like, I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to control it when I fucked myself. But I remained hopeful and game.
I decided to bring the toy to my new date’s house because what better way to masturbate than to do so in front of a hot dyke you’re falling in love with? Fun! But it’s here where I have to lodge my first complaint. While writing this article, I decided to do some research about the intentions and goals of the creators of the Snail Vibe, because I am nothing if not deeply committed to journalism. I found the following marketing language for the toy:
Meet Snail Vibe: the vibrator created by professionals using scientifically backed research and development. These scientists, Dr. Stuart Brody & Professor Tillman Kruger, have discovered that the orgasm from a sexual act, as compared to orgasm from masturbation, produces a 400% greater prolactin level, which is responsible for sexual satisfaction, and Snail Vibe provides synchronous stimulation of the clitoris and the vagina by means of sliding movements that simulate intercourse. This combination of simultaneous vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation produces mind-blowing dual orgasms.
And okay, I’m sorry, but this explanation really bothered me! I have to admit that by the time I read this I’d already tried out the Snail Vibe and decided it was not for me, but even if I’d enjoyed myself (which I did not), this would’ve been confusing at best and obnoxious at worst. I just don’t really get it. In this description, what exactly is the difference between “a sexual act” and “masturbation?” Are we assuming a sexual act includes another human and masturbation does not? But masturbating with/in front of my date is definitely a sexual act! Are we assuming that no one has ever figured out how to penetrate their vagina and stimulate their clit without another human before? Like what do these words even mean? I don’t know, I guess I just have some questions about the science being touted behind this toy, and it annoys me that these scientists are acting like they’ve figured everything out when I’m not sure they’ve figured anything out.
But I digress. Back to what my actual body told me about this vibrator, before I did additional research.
I did have a slightly confusing time figuring out like… where everything is supposed to go. The gist of the toy is that you can penetrate your vagina while the little swirly snail keeps contact with your clit. To be honest, now that I’m typing it, this is literally just like a slightly different version of any rabbit-style toy? So again, not super innovative in my opinion. But I really did have an open mind before it was in and against my cunt, I swear.
Alas, once I started to use the toy, I was deeply disappointed. I first tried to use it myself, but my tits were tied up, so I had trouble reaching past them to actually insert the toy into my vagina the way it’s intended to be used. I joked that the toy was designed in a fatphobic way, but I later tried to insert it again when my tits weren’t tied up, and it worked out fine, so I think that was more of a user flaw than a design flaw, in this specific instance. My hot date generously offered to help, and I accepted. I love when this person fucks me — we have literally never had bad sex — but this felt… okay, honestly I had to ask her to stop! It felt bad! Like the actual toy did not feel good inside my vagina! And the Snail Vibe’s external piece was distracting at best. It did not hit any of the parts of my body that it needed to hit, and when it did graze against my clit, I found the vibrations to be dull and ineffective. I am admittedly a size queen, so I accept that maybe some people would enjoy the girth of the toy inside them, but even if you’re not, the shape and the firmness of the shaft were not necessarily what I’d call appealing.
Because, as I said, I take my job as a journalist very seriously, I kept begrudgingly asking my date to grab the toy and try it again, because I felt bad that I wasn’t giving it a fair try. She would laugh at me because I hated it so much, oblige, and then laugh even harder when I begged her to take it out. The best part of using this toy was when I eventually let myself off the hook and tossed it on the floor and let myself orgasm all over my hot date’s fist instead.
I so rarely give a bad sex toy review, but the Snail Vibe gets a 0/10 from me. If you want a vibrator that offers internal and external stimulation, I’d stick with another rabbit-style toy or get creative and use a dildo and a Magic Wand or whichever vibe you love best. If your experience is anything like mine, it’s not gonna be this one.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Manta
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the Manta from Fun Factory.
Part of being trans is knowing when to pick your battles. So when a sex toy is advertised as “for men” and what they really mean is “for people with penises,” I can roll my eyes in pursuit of the pleasure I deserve. But when the toy is disappointing like the Fun Factory Manta Vibrating Stroker, my annoyance is doubled.
The Manta is a silicone vibrator with a ribbed open claw at the end. You can place your penis in this claw to, as advertised, “turn your penis into a vibrator.” I tried it twice solo and once with my partner and found it to be equally uncomfortable and pleasurable.
First, the positives — this is a good vibrator. It’s powerful and easy to handle, and it absolutely did the trick getting me off.
The problem is that the claw (or as Fun Factory calls it, “the wings”) ends up being sharp — and not in a fun way. If you lube it up and glide it back and forth on your penis or hold it at a certain angle at the base during head, it might work. But it offers very little versatility. The wings uncomfortably pressed against me when I tried to add pressure along with vibration. And when I tried to use it with my partner grinding against me, it uncomfortably pressed against her.
Maybe it’s unfair to criticize a toy that theoretically does work in the specific ways advertised, but even if you aren’t trans, I have to imagine you’d want some versatility if you’re going to drop money on a new toy. Even if you are using it in the prescribed ways, it seems unfortunate to be limited in speed and pressure and closeness to your partner. It seems like it’d work best if you remained sort of stiff (and I don’t mean your penis).
The toy might work better if you’re on the smaller side because at least the wings wouldn’t press against your penis. But still, you’d have to really just use it in precise and limited ways.
Again, this is a good vibrator. It’s easy to charge and to use, and the various settings are nice. But I’m always measuring my vibrators up against my faithful wand, and this one does not offer anything new — at least not new in a good way.
When Fun Factory says this is a sex toy for men, they don’t just mean cis men. They mean cis men having boring sex.
Holigay Gift Guide: Stocking Stuffers Under $20 for the Sweetheart Whose ‘Stocking’ You ‘Stuff’
The holigays are here! It’s the perfect time to shower your lover(s) with the kinds of gifts that keep on giving. But sex toys can be expensive. Fortunately, if you need to snag something sexy for your partner or anyone you’re…uh, stuffing…you don’t have to break the bank. Shop this list of sexy stocking stuffers — featuring toys and accessories that are under $20 — and have yourself a hole-y night.
Uberlube “Good to Go” Travel Set ($13.95)
If you and your lover(s) like using silicone lube for penetrative sex with body parts, glass sex toys or stainless sex toys, Uberlube will keep everything slick. This lube has minimal ingredients, it’s not too heavy or sticky AND it comes in a sleek glass bottle with a travel case for easy transport.
An Enamel Pin That Lets Them Show Their Pride ($10)
Do you have a kinky bottom in your life who likes to be loud about it? Early to Bed offers this collection of “Cunning Linguist” enamel pins with designs that feature butt plugs, rope, a “bruise me” peach and more.
Sliquid Sassy ($8.95)
Sliquid Sassy is a hypoallergenic, water-based lube that’s compatible with sex toys of any material. It’s thicker than some of their other water-based options, so it lasts a little longer and stays where you put it. Try a 2oz bottle for $8.25 or stock up with an 8.5oz bottle at $18.95.
“Naughty” Butt Plug ($18-$20)
If your babe is into butt stuff, the Naughty butt plug offers a booty bang for your buck! This silicone toy has a gentle curve, which offers plenty of P-spot or G-spot pressure. And the curved base fits snugly between the cheeks, so the wearer can comfortably lie in any position while you roll around in the sheets. Snag the smallest size for $18 or the medium size for $20. Make sure you pair this toy with a water-based lube!
Sinful Silicone Gag ($16.95)
Do you have a partner who fantasizes about being bound and gagged? Give them something they can sink their teeth into. This silicone gag has an adjustable vinyl strap, so it’s not as pricey as most leather options.
New York Toy Collective Bullet Vibrator ($20)
It’s right at the $20 mark, but it’s worth every penny — this rechargeable bullet vibe packs some serious power! With ten different modes and a travel lock option, this versatile toy is perfect on its own (or pop it inside a hollow dildo or a harness to add some extra oomph to your strap-on sesh).
Adjustable Nipple Clamps ($18)
If your lover(s) like nipple stimulation, these adjustable clamps will be a perfect addition to your toy chest. They come in “tweezer” or “broad tip” styles, depending on your preference.
A Subscription to Mondo Fetiche ($14.95/month)
Ashley Paige and Ava D’Amore of Mondo Fetiche
If you have a partner who loves watching porn solo or with you, give them subscription to Mondo Fetiche, “the home of artcore fetish film,” which offers threesomes, T4T pairings, muscle worship, leather, denim and more.
A Manicure Set ($15.99)
If you and your sweetheart(s) are putting your fingers in and around each other’s genitals, I hope you’re taking care of your nails. This manicure set will help your lover(s) keep their nails clean and filed so you’ll both have a smooth ride.
CBD Intimacy Suppositories ($20)
Do you and your partner(s) enjoy penetration? Consider these sexy stocking stuffers: CBD suppositories, which can be used vaginally or anally, will help those muscles relax to allow for deeper, longer penetration. These are right at the $20 mark, but they’re well worth it! Each suppository contains 50mg of CBD.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Sundaze
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the Sundaze from Fun Factory.
I have to start this review from a place of honesty and vulnerability. I am an efficiency masturbator! I know that every masturbation guide and toy instruction manual advises readers to explore your own body, take your time, relax and have fun, but that’s rarely my style! I know what works, I know what I like, I do that and I have a great time, guaranteed, every time. And that’s okay — all ways are valid. But sometimes I wonder if I should try to be more of an explorer, more of a chill masturbator who just follows what feels good and tries new things.
The Sundaze, a “pulsing and thrusting” vibrator from Fun Factory, promised more exploration, pleasure and play. Fun Factory pitches the toy as the perfect companion for a leisurely Sunday afternoon spent with no agenda and touts the variety of curated combination settings and supposed stimulation of three different types of internal nerve endings. I was predisposed to liking this toy because my go-to vibe for years now has been the Fun Factory Miss Bi (bless her). I like the Fun Factory packaging and materials. The designs don’t seem too kitschy, but they’re also fun and colorful. And they’re always trying new variations on tried and true shapes.
Trying the Sundaze gave me the opportunity to play around with masturbating in a way that I’m not usually inclined to. But it’s also just a little too meandering to make this a go-to toy for me. It took a long time for me to build up to an orgasm, which may work for others, but for me, it was more frustrating than fun and teasing. There are so many patterns, none of which feel super distinct from another, that it was hard to find one that really worked for me, and the simpler vibrations were not very strong. I liked trying out all the patterns, but I never fell in love with any of them. Since the toy is on the smaller end and is a pretty standard shape, I think it would have to be packing way more motor power to be a real standout, especially at a price point of almost $200. The main benefit of that gentler motor was the noise level — this is by far the quietest vibrator I’ve ever used, making it ideal for someone with roommates or for someone who is distracted by the noise of a more powerful toy.
Maybe because the toy isn’t curved, the thrusting never quite hit the spot (pun somewhat intended) for me. This was another opportunity for some teasing and light buildup, but the combination of the shape and the weak motor felt more like hooking up with someone who’s eager to please but is still a little timid. So I opted to use the toy mostly as a vibrator instead of focusing on its thrusting and tapping. The vibe sensation was definitely on the buzzier end, so this was more fun for me to play around with externally than internally or with some combination of internal and external use. And since the Sundaze isn’t curved at all, I had to do a little more repositioning when using it internally — and the outside handle of the toy doesn’t have a loop or any sort of grip like some other Fun Factory toys, which makes maneuvering a little more difficult — though that did lead to me trying out a few new positions! Though it’s definitely not the vibe I’ll reach for to get the job done in the future, I think the Sundaze could potentially be a great toy for use with other toys and sensations or with a partner (which is when I’m always open to more play and experimentation anyway), but it won’t be the thing I grab as a solo toy in a solo sesh again.
We Love A Sex Drawer, But Sometimes A Strap Is A Work Of Art
Autostraddle Strap Week 2021 – All Images by Demetria.
In this series, two babes chat through both sides of one strapping topic — sharing personal narratives with you on their perspective at this point in their queer story. Last up — Are your straps proudly on display or tucked away for a ::ahem:: rainy day?
Pick Your Own Adventure: Strap-On Edition
Autostraddle Strap Week 2021 – All Images by Demetria.
In this series, two babes chat through both sides of one strapping topic — sharing personal narratives with you on their perspective at this point in their queer story. Next up — Very Realistic or Wildly Fictional, Which style strap is calling your name?
My Strap Pack Doesn’t Have Cheeto Dust In It And Yours Shouldn’t Either
Autostraddle Strap Week 2021 – All Images by Demetria.
The beloved overnight bag. Sometimes lovingly referred to as the “spennanight bag.” As for me and my queer household, we like to call it the Strap Pack. It is my discreet and very cute (because one can absolutely be stylish and efficiently transport sext toys) go-to bag where I keep the essentials when in anticipation of some strap-on action.
The Backpack:
Before I graduated from baby dyke and advanced (in age and skill) to OG strapper, I used to carry around all of my goodies in a regular ol’ Jansport backpack. I’ve since invested in a cruelty-free, vegan leather backpack with enough storage and compartments for everything I would possibly need. It’s from a great company called MAHI that operates using responsible commerce. I love it because it’s functional, but also because it looks like it was made from the cork of a giant bottle of wine. I need several compartments and pockets to store my other sex essentials and this bag answered the call.
My Dicks:
I carry at least 2. As a child of Venus (Taurus Mum and Libra Dad), I’ve always been attracted to things of beauty and artsy shit. So when I was looking to add to my collection, I came across a company, Wet For Her that was created with lesbian and queer womxn in mind. I chose their rose tattoo-inspired dildo, at 7 inches long it’s a great size, and instead of the usual smooth surface dildo, this strap has spiraling curves all around it. The design enhances pleasure based on the ridges alone and definitely elicits a not-so-subtle response when I’m using it with my partner. My second dildo and a forever fave is The Union. I personally call this one “the unison” because it allows both myself and my partner to receive exquisite pleasure, which usually ends up with us both orgasming at the same time. Thanks to the adjustable bulb and shaft, switching and maintaining different positions is always a comfortable ride for us both.
Cleansing +:
I don’t just throw the toys in the bag and keep it pushin’. When I’m transporting my dicks around, I pack my UV Sterilizer Pouch from B-Vibe. It kills 99.99% of bacteria using rapid sanitizing and score and it’s USB powered. This is an essential part because it gives the added sense of hygienic protection. For toy cleaners, the intimate toy cleaner gel by Sliquid Shine fits perfectly into one of the zipped compartments. It gives me grown-ass sex and elegant vibes. I carry the 2oz bottle in my bag when traveling (great for maintaining TSA requirements) and I keep the 8oz bottle on hand at home. Knowing that it’s organic and free of harsh chemicals that could potentially damage my toys, is also a relief. Plus it smells like tea tree oil and leaves no residue when using it.
My Harness:
I’m more of a boxer brief kinda person. I’m not a fan of the traditional strap-on harness design that comes equipped with straps and buckles and other time-consuming and at times, frustrating components. My harness needs to do three things: I need efficiency & compatibility with my dildos, I need comfort, & I need cute/sexy. This is why I always carry my Boxer brief harness from RodeoH along with their stabilizer that ensures no matter how wild the ride may get, everything stays in place. The fabulous thing about the stabilizer is that you can get them in different dildo size diameters ranging from 1″ to 2”. I carry a second pair of Biker briefs with an additional stabilizer that accommodates a larger diameter dildo. I like having options. PLUS, they’re so compact making them easy to pack in my bag, neatly.
Condoms:
In the event that my partner may have an allergy or sensitivity to latex, I always travel with non-latex condoms and there are two in particular that I keep in my bag. The first is SKYN Original, they’re made with polyisoprene, which means they offer the same protection against STI’s and pregnancy as latex condoms. The second is Trojan Naturalamb, this particular brand is efficient in preventing pregnancy, but not as efficient in protection from STI transmission, so FYI on that.
Sex Wipes:
Most of us are familiar with the infamous “sex towel” when getting it in. Although it’s a well-known accessory to sexual adventures, it definitely is not the most hygienic way to perform your pre or post-sex clean-up. This is why sex wipes come in handy. I pack Swipes Lovin Cucumber Wipes from a Black woman-owned company called Organic Loven. They are moist and soothing on your skin, and hella more hygienic.
Lube:
Before, I was using a simple, generic type of lube. Until one day when I was cleaning one of my dildos, I noticed that the material was starting to deteriorate. I couldn’t figure out why since I had bought it only a month prior. It wasn’t until I spoke to a sexpert at Feelmore, the first and only Black-owned sex store in Oakland, that I learned your toys could be destroyed based on the chemicals in a lube. That was a game-changer for me and convinced me to do more extensive research on the products I was using.
I came across one of my faves, Alu. It’s aloe-vera-based lube made from natural plant extracts. This brand did their research and created this product to match the vagina’s pH. It’s free of glycerin, parabens, etc. & safe for toys and most condoms. The last thing you want to do is spend money on expensive ass toys (and expensive ass condoms) and find out the hard way that it’s chemically not compatible — killing not only your vibe but your toys as well.
Do you need to have a fancy bag with all the bells and whistles to have amazing sex? Absolutely not. Does it need to be a specific type or fancy bag? Again, no. If you have a favorite bag or tote that you like to carry, go ahead and use what you have. It’s all about being able to carry everything you need. Staying organized and keeping it safe and hygienic helps me so that I’m always prepared to get as freaky as I want — and can lay the strap down anytime and anyplace.
Strap-On Harnesses For Every Stage Of Your Strap Journey
Autostraddle Strap Week 2021 – All Images by Demetria.
Whether you’re ready to buy your first strap-on harness or upgrade your current one, the choices can be really overwhelming! There’s a lot of straps out there! With all the variety and types and price points to wade through, it can be hard to know where to start or where to go next. Variety is the spice of life and I am here to help you find the perfect harness to slide over your hips no matter where you are in your strap journey. It’s important to note not every strap-on will work with every body. For people with penises, underwear styles are highly recommended, however other harnesses can work great as well! My number one recommendation is trying a harness on IRL if possible, many sex shops will let your try strap-on harnesses over underwear or pants. If that’s not an option or comfortable, my second recommendation is to try a style you’re interested in one that isn’t super expensive. After you get an idea of how it fits and works for your body, you can upgrade to a nicer brand/style/material!
Beginner Strap-On Harnesses
When I talk about beginner straps, I’m talking about a strap-on harness that might not be your forever harness. When first trying to explore fucking with a strap-on you want something that is going to be simple to use and not be wildly expensive. You’re exploring! It’s new! It might not be a sex act you actually want to invest big bucks in and that’s okay!
1) Ember Harness — This is the harness I recommend the most to folks who are just starting out on their strap-on journey! If you want something simple and a harness that’s going to not break the bank, this is your next purchase.
2) Rodeoh Classic Brief + — The classic Rodeoh! We all knew it was going to be somewhere on this list! Underwear style harnesses are so easy to put on, literally just pull them up! Unlike other underwear-style harnesses mentioned later, this one isn’t the most sturdy, and over time (and washes) the fabric can stretch. That being said, it’s an affordable harness to use as a jumping-off point.
3) Strap-On Me Vegan Leather Curious Harness — This vegan cutie is adjustable with elastic thigh straps and velcro on the waist. That’s right! Velcro! Genius for those that want to strap up in a hurry and get down the business! The padded front allows some cushion between the end of a dildo and the pubic bone making it comfortable to boot.
Intermediate Strap-On Harnesses
These are harnesses that are a bit higher quality than the beginner harnesses. They might be a bit more complicated to put on but that means they’ll be more sturdy during play-time. These are harnesses worth investing in.
1) Kookie Int’l Leather Regimental Harness — Leather harnesses tend to be the harnesses that allow the wearer the most control. Since they’re literally strapped against your body, they prevent shifting of the dildo during use. This harness comes in different colors and the leather is super soft and subtle against your skin.
2) Metallic Gold Low-Rider Harness — So you can find the Low-Rider Harness in other colors, but why would you want to? A jock-style harness that fits low on your waist, it’ll give comfort! It’ll give control! It’ll give rock star! And who doesn’t want to feel like the main character when they’re blowing their partner’s back out!
3) High Rise Black Crotchless Panty — This is a great harness for those that have tried strapping and now want to add some extra elements. The exposed back means there’s so much more room for play here–your partner’s finger in your ass or a butt plug perhaps–just to give your imagination a jumping-off point!
Advance Strap-On Harnesses
These are fancy! And HOT. The strap-ons here are more of an investment, in both money and the care that they might need but they’re going to look really fucking good on your body. Not only will they make you the sexiest version of yourself, but they’re also incredibly well-made to give you the most control during your fuck fest.
1) Off The Tounge Roslyn Crotchless Strap On Bodysuit — Mommy? Sorry. Mommy?! Off The Tongue makes absolutely delicious harnesses that are an aesthetic dream. Well-made with a customizable sizing option, this bodysuit harness is as unique as it is functional.
2) Switch Leather Co. Ramona Harness — The Ramona Harness isn’t just slick–it’s smart too. This harness which is made of high-quality leather can be worn above or below the hips. This means you can wear it in the way that best fits your body and comfort. This leather also feels amazing against your skin if you’re into that sort of thing.
3) Spareparts Tomboii Boxer Brief Harness — This harness comes packed with ways to enhance your experience. There’s two O-rings, meaning you can put the dildo where it fits best for your partner and penetrating position. This underwear harness also comes with multiple pockets to add a bullet vibrator for the wearer’s enjoyment. Also, rejoice, it’s packer-friendly if you want to pack and strap simultaneously.
One Strap-On Harness To Rule Them All
Spareparts Joque Harness — Listen!!! The reason there’s so much variety in harnesses is because what works for one person will not work for another. That being said, there is one harness I always find myself recommending over and over again. The Spareparts Joque Harness is surprisingly versatile, comfortable and is, in my humble opinion, a strap-on worth seriously considering! This cloth harness fits a wide range of body sizes making it a great option if you want to share a harness with a partner. Its wide strap helps distribute weight so it’s not digging into your skin. This strap-on is incredibly comfy while being snug and sturdy at the same time. Add in that it’s machine-washable and this strap-on is a win all around.
Kristen Stewart in Charlie’s Angels Inspired Me to Buy a Strap-On
Autostraddle Strap Week 2021 – All Images by Demetria.
A few weeks before the release of Charlie’s Angels (2019) the gay internet was abuzz with horniness. Kristen Stewart was like so gay dude and so was everybody else. Once upon a time, Kristen was a mousy brunette plastered on bedroom walls. Now she was a sardonic dyke with dyed blonde hair and that I-haven’t-shower-in-three-days grime that hits so hard in the most basic corners of our community. (No judgment.)
As a trans woman relatively new to the lesbian community, I felt torn between a defiant pride that Kristen didn’t do it for me and the increasingly common anxiety that I wasn’t being a lesbian right. The rational part of me knew that lusting after Bella Swan was not a requirement for queer womanhood — another part of me felt left out of the discourse du jour.
And so I tweeted:
My belief that Kristen Stewart is incredibly talented but not that hot remains my least popular take
— Drew Burnett Gregory (@draw_gregory) October 30, 2019
— then I reserved a ticket to an early screening the following week.
When Charlie’s Angels came out, I was taking a break from sex. I’d spent the year newly single and new to dating as a queer person and a woman, but my delight in the chaos was fading. My good experiences weren’t that good — my bad experiences were getting increasingly bad. And it was mostly my fault.
I didn’t know how to accept pleasure so I decided I needed to learn to bottom. I got set up with a friend’s ex who was very vocally a top and invited them over. We started hooking up, but when they checked in and asked what I wanted, I was blank. They were patient with me as we tried different things. I kept pausing to get higher and higher as if I could dissociate myself away from having to communicate. Finally, we stopped. A week later we tried again, but this time I left before we even undressed.
I felt embarrassed and hopeless. I never spoke to that person again. And I decided that bottoming wasn’t the answer — as if one experience with a person I barely knew and hadn’t built trust with was indicative of my inherent sexual dynamics.
Soon after these failed encounters, I went on a date with someone new. We drank and wandered around and started making out. She said that she was drawn to people who were weird and unique and I pretended like she wasn’t hinting at my transness.
When we got back to her apartment I went down on her and then she handed me a condom and told me that she wanted me to fuck her. I paused. Fucking someone with my penis isn’t something I feel comfortable doing. I hadn’t even tried since I was with my ex. But she seemed so sure in her expectations. And I didn’t know how to say no. I’d failed as a bottom, I couldn’t fail as a top. And so I went through the motions and she invited me to stay the night.
I barely slept. And I didn’t have sex again for three months.
Like bad sex, bad movies are better enjoyed drunk.
Two mini bottles of tequila sat in my stomach as I sat in the Arclight. The screen filled with aerial shots of Rio de Janeiro and the speakers filled with Kristen Stewart’s girlish laugh.
“I believe women can do anything,” she says, wearing a blonde wig, a full face of makeup, and bright pink nail polish. She’s talking about gender equality but really she’s flirting with a guy who’s about to get his ass kicked. She tells him that when you’re a woman no one expects anything from you as she ties him up with the curtains. It goes from sexy to sinister and suddenly she’s joined by another hot woman and they’re in full hand-to-hand combat mode with the man and his guards. “You swiped right. I’m your girlfriend now,” she says as she headbutts him.
Once the fight has been won, her wig comes off. She has short spiky hair that’s dyed blonde except the roots. She wears her helicopter harness in a way that hikes her dress up into shorts. And she flirts with the other angels as if there was any doubt she was gay.
As she flies away, she flashes a peace sign, and it hit me. I wasn’t attracted to Kristen Stewart — I wanted to be her.
Lacking the charm of the previous two installments, this Charlie’s Angels had enough dull or incomprehensible moments to give my mind time to wander. I wasn’t going to cut my hair, stop showering, or become an international superspy, so my newfound affinity to K-Stew quickly turned to sex. I don’t know how she fucks, but I do know how cis women with her energy are expected to fuck. It’s different than the expectations of me.
Why? If trans women are women — which cis people are constantly declaring online — then why can’t we fuck like them? Of course, there is no one way women fuck. Fucking someone with a penis is a way that women fuck. But with this freedom in mind, shouldn’t alternatives be available to us as well?
I am not the first trans woman to consider buying a strap-on. I just felt like I was, because trans sex is so rarely presented from a trans gaze. The only on-screen example of a trans woman wearing a strap-on is post-op Myra Breckinridge raping a hypermasculine hunk. The only on-screen example of someone with a penis wearing a strap-on is the cis boy in Adam.
A chick with a dick is supposed to have the real thing — not silicone. We’re told that our value is in our birth genitals. We’re told that’s what makes us weird and unique. But I don’t want to be weird and unique. I want to not dissociate while I fuck you.
Soon after seeing Charlie’s Angels, I went to a sex shop with my friend who is something of an expert. I bought a harness and a purple dildo that was simple and not lifelike.
I tried it on at home over my underwear, got myself hard and experimented with different placements. It wasn’t made for my body but I could make it work.
When I wore it for the first time during sex I knew my instinct had been right. I actually felt good fucking people. I could actually stay present in the moment. Even when I wasn’t hard and wasn’t experiencing any immediate physical pleasure, the psychic pleasure was immense. Who knew having a dick could be so gender euphoric?
As the years pass, I’ve become less concerned with labels like top and bottom. I’ve become less concerned with what people expect from me. I have become better at communicating and better at advocating for the needs of my mind and body. I’m not saying this is thanks to Kristen Stewart — probably better to credit personal growth and being with partners I trust — but she was the beginning of that for me.
We can find identification wherever we need to find it. Even in a cis celesbian. Even in Charlie’s Angels (2019).
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Pom
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the Pom vibrator from Dame.
I am a sucker for a small, strong vibrator, and I was curious to try out one that boasted flexibility as a main feature. Here’s a play-by-play of my experience with the Pom.
The packaging for this toy, if you care about that sort of stuff, is gorgeous. It comes in two colors (jade and plum), and both are extremely sultry. I went with the minty green option, and I really liked the monochromatic situation at play here. The box is jade, the toy is jade, the bag to store the toy in is jade…whoever designed this little vibe deserves an A+ for overall visual experience.
Once I picked the toy up, I was even more delighted. The material, medical grade silicone, felt silky smooth. I have a lot of vibrators, and at this point in my adult life, all of them are silicone (RIP extremely porous vibe made of goddess knows what jelly-like material I begged my older cousin to buy for me when I was 16), but somehow this vibe felt particularly luscious! I dunno what they did to create this feel, but my fingers were into it.
The whole premise of the Pom vibrator is that it “delivers powerful pleasure from the palm of your hand” and “envelopes your vulva for full coverage and flexes with you for broad stimulation.” So, okay, it’s a tiny vibrator that fits in the palm of your hand… but it’s flexible. I do have multiple other toys that fit that general description (fit in palm of hand, somewhat flexible), so I wasn’t initially that impressed with the description, but when I actually held the toy and tested out how flexible it is, I changed my mind. It’s the same size as a few of my other toys, but it is significantly more flexible than any other small vibe I’ve played with. It also has a nice little nub that I thought would feel very good tucked next to my clit, and the buttons to turn the toy on/off and change its speed and patterns are easy and intuitive to use (plus they look nice — the design of this toy is truly very impressive to witness!).
When I actually got to masturbating, I felt a brief pang of disappointment. I started out lying on my back, and with the Pom vibrator in my hand and pressed against my vulva/clit, it just wasn’t as strong as some other toys of the same size. The vibrations were also slightly more buzzy than what I usually enjoy, and the nub that I’d been excited about positioning near my clit didn’t really excite it in the way I’d hoped it would. I wasn’t expecting deep rumbly vibrations like the Magic Wand or anything — I know that a small vibe performs in a certain way and nothing compares to the pressure or deepness the Magic Wand can provide when lying on your back — but compared with similarly sized toys, I was a little disappointed.
That said, I persevered, as one must, and when I rolled onto my tummy, it was a whole different scenario. Suddenly, the weight of my body was pressing my vulva and my clit up against this toy at just the right pressure to feel amazing, and the vibrations felt less buzzy/tinny and much deeper. I definitely attribute this to the flexible nature of the toy, which really had a chance to shine when I changed positions and leaned into it, quite literally. Cupping my hand around the toy and lightly squeezing to really take advantage of its ability to sort of fold around my entire vulva produced an incredible sensation that felt much deeper than a regular clitoral orgasm.
I think this toy would be great to use with a partner as well as solo, although I only used it by myself, and I can see it tucking really neatly into a harness and moving nicely with one’s thrusting body if someone wanted to use it while strapping on and fucking someone else.
While I don’t think the Pom vibrator is necessarily my #1 toy, simply because I prioritize strong deep vibrations over flexibility, I can absolutely see it soaring to the top of your list if you prefer lighter and buzzier vibrations, if you like to masturbate on your stomach or apply strong pressure to the vibe some other way, or if you’re just a big fan of a really gorgeous palm sized vibe. I feel good about recommending it and am looking forward to trying it out with an activity partner soon!
12 Sex Toys for When You Wanna Do the Monster Smash
It’s October! Pumpkins are in season. Scary movies are on TV. Elvira is in love with a woman. ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD! Well, almost. If you’re a goth-aligned gay or if you just have a wild imagination, you might be thinking, “This Halloween season would be perfect if I had the right sex toy to help me celebrate.” Fear not — I’ve got you covered. Shop this list to snag a toy fit for werewolf roleplay or a staged alien abduction or elaborate masturbation to vampire erotica.
The Realm Silver Bullet ($43)
According to folklore, a silver bullet can finish a werewolf. With a little help from this rumbly, rechargeable bullet vibe, you can finish, too.
Princette Puppypus Vibrating Butt Plug ($69)
Have you ever thought to yourself: this vibrating butt plug is great, but I really wish it had a face? Enter Princette Puppypus by Cute Little Fuckers. Princette is clearly some kind of creature. What kind, exactly? No one knows. But according to the Cute Little Fuckers website, Princette’s pronouns are “They/Them or the Royal We” and they like pizza. This silicone butt plug contains a powerful vibrating bullet that will blast you into space, which is probably where Mx. Puppypus was born. Use this toy to fuel your alien breeding kink or just enjoy how it feels in your ass.
Jack-o-Lantern Ball Gag ($60)
Want a ball gag with a little extra spice? Perhaps…some pumpkin spice? Geeky Sex Toys created this silicone and faux leather gag for the Halloween fanatics who want to drool on a jack-o-latern.
Lycan Werewolf Dildo ($54)
There’s a Full Moon. You and your partner have just enjoyed a marathon of Ginger Snaps followed by Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed followed by Ginger Snaps: The Beginning. It’s time to break out the werewolf dildo. This insertable silicone toy is harness-compatible, but you can also attach to the end of…a sword? Ok, I don’t know what’s up the sword handle, but it seems ergonomically sound.
Medusa Vibrator ($27.99)
Medusa is undoubtedly a queer icon — she even made the number four spot on Autostraddle’s list of Lesbian Hauntings Ranked By Lesbianism). This multi-speed, battery-operated vibrator features an image of the snake-haired lady herself. Turn yourself on while your turn men into stone.
Pad Skellington Pleasure Pad ($55)
Your Vagesty’s Kingdom makes some wildly unique toys, including “pleasure pads” — textured, silicone surfaces made for rubbing, bumping and grinding. Break out their limited edition Halloween pleasure pad when things go hump in the night.
Wet for Her Finger Extender ($40)
Need a little extra reach? Wet For Her’s silicone finger extender is perfect for deep finger fucking and perhaps a dash of alien roleplay. It’s also a great tool for folks who want to protect their partners from long, pointy fingernails. As of the writing of this article, this toy is out of stock on Wet For Her’s website, but I had to include it on this list — I mean, look at it.
Bork Ovipositor ($90)
Prepare to add some alien roleplay up a notch. This silicone dildo comes with mold for gelatin eggs, which can be deposited (and “laid”) vaginally. Primal Hardwere claims that the gelatin eggs should dissolve if they’re deposited in the backdoor and get lost, but I don’t recommend putting anything without a base in your booty, even if it’s only semi-solid.
Ghost Butt Plug ($57.84)
This silicone, ghost-shaped butt plug will make you say, “Boo(ty)!” It also doubles as a cute Halloween decoration.
Xenuphora Tentacle Dildo ($79)
There are a surprising number of tentacle dildos on the market, but the Xenuphora stands out. With its ridges and suckers, this is an ideal dildo for folks who like a lot of texture. The base even includes two squishy nubs for external stimulation. Straddle this toy to fulfill your Lovecraftian fantasies.
Unicandy Dildo ($47)
Nothing says “trick or treat” better than a dildo that looks like candy corn and also looks like a unicorn horn. This silicone toy is harness-compatible. It probably doesn’t taste like candy, but you might want it in your mouth anyway.
Girls Who Bite: Lesbian Vampire Erotica, edited by Delilah Devlin ($14.95)
Ok, this isn’t technically a sex toy, but this list wouldn’t be complete without lesbian vampire tales. Enjoy these stories on your own or read them aloud to a lover who had a Twilight phase.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Poet
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing The Poet, a suction sex toy, by Smile Makers.
“Air pressure” or suction sex toys are all over the place now, with popular brands like Satisfyer and Womanizer dominating the sex toy market. But just because these two companies are becoming queer household names, it doesn’t mean we should ignore smaller and newer companies popping up. Monopolies are bad for the economy, but also our bedrooms.
Let me introduce you all to The Poet by Smile Makers. This toy is covered in super velvety silicone and sits on top of your clitoris, leaving plenty of room for penetration if desired. With three different interchangeable “mouths” to suction over your clit, it ensures that — unlike other suction sex toys on the market — the mouth piece will actually fit around your anatomy. It also has pressure sensors, meaning the harder you squeeze, the stronger the vibration gets.
From the get-go, I dug this toy. The packaging is so cute, and the gender-neutral language was immaculate. The toy itself is egg-shaped — like a really large egg. The top of it peeks into some sort of nipple, the only aspect of the design I didn’t understand. But whatever, I can roll with it. We love nipples in this household.
I liked how the three different mouth bits were not a perfect circle — they slope, and there’s lots of surface area around the opening to create a suction. And! That suction! It’s great! The air pressure is thumpy and strong, and here’s the best part: when this suction sex toy is against your body, it’s surprisingly quiet. If you’re new to suction sex toys, they have a reputation of being loud, so they’re probably not the toy you’d reach for if you have roommates. The Poet, once the suction is made, isn’t whisper-quiet, but it’s definitely an “inside voice” vibrator compared to the Satisfyer. As with many toys, all of this goes out of the window in the bathtub, where the sound somehow feels increased underwater. Apologies to my neighbors.
The Poet has five patterns that my play partner and I found quite enjoyable! Patterns aren’t usually our jam, but these were fun! But Smile Makers mostly advertises The Poet’s pressure technology. Squeezing two of the sides makes the vibration stronger, and letting go makes it softer. If you enjoy edging, this might be a great toy for you! Squeezing the sides and then suddenly letting that vibration drop was a great experience. What was not a great experience was trying to keep it on the high-vibration mode. I had to squeeze the sides and hold down the button, which is asking a lot of coordination from me when I’m trying to come!
That was the most distracting aspect of this suction sex toy. Having to take it off a body and fiddle with the controls definitely took me out of the moment. I do wish there were a separate button just to increase the strength. Without that option, I have to use two hands to change the strength or just keep a death grip on the toy, neither of which I enjoy.
Smile Makers is creating some really interesting toys. While I’m personally not thrilled with their decision to not be stocked in sex toy stores — which, to me, indicates that there is something wrong with sex shops — the education, visuals and designs of their new products are really smart, and I’m excited to see what else they’ll develop.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Thrust & Go
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing the Thrust & Go from Evolved Novelties.
I am not too proud to admit that although I love penetration, like really love penetration, I am also very lazy about it. I’ll be getting my groove on and look at my shelf of dildos and think, “If only I didn’t have to do all the work.” As a result of this passivity, G-spot orgasms are like a little treat I sometimes give myself when in reality, I want internal O’s to be the main meal. Everyone give a big welcome to the Thrust & Go, a thrusting vibrator by Evolved Novelties!
Waltzing into my life like the hero it is, this toy arrived in pieces like an IKEA bookshelf. Thankfully simple to assemble, the thrusting vibrator has four parts. The handle of the toy has a diamond-cut sleeve for easy grip and can be used on its own or connected to the suction up base. There are two attachments for the handle — a G-Spot attachment or the bulb attachment.
While the three vibration speeds weren’t anything to write home about, I was very pleased by the seven different thrusting speeds and patterns. The first time I used this toy, I tried to hold it into myself and it…just didn’t work. This toy would work with someone holding it against someone else’s body, but when I tried to do it to myself, the toy kept slipping out of place. I didn’t sweat it though, because holding it isn’t the appeal of this thrusting vibrator — it’s that dreamy suction cup base.
Previously, I’ve had some luck with the Fun Factory Pulsators. The shapes that Fun Factory develops are always functional and smart — their thrusting vibrators are shaped like regular vibrators, but they use two magnetic weights to create a thuddy back-and-forth motion. I’ve heard rumors that some people can keep them inside with just their legs/ muscles, but that hasn’t been my experience. I usually have to hold the toy inside with my hand.
And that is where the magical wonder lands with the Thrust & Go. The ability to suction cup this toy to the wall and have it actually stay in place is, again, wondrous! It leaves both hands open to do so many things. Fucking in ways I’ve only previoulsy been able to do with a partner are now things I can accomplish alone. I can easily hold my porn-playing phone and a vibrator against my clit while simultaneously getting pounded. I can fuck my ass and hold a Magic Wand while getting pounded. I can play with my chest and eat a peach while getting pounded. I can phone a friend while gripping a pillow while getting pounded. You get the idea.
I had trouble getting the suction cup to stick to all surfaces, but once it sticks, it’s strong and stable. It works best with a flat, smooth surface, but I was able to screw myself with it against drywall, in the bath, on tile and against a mirror. The base also pivots, so you’re really able to angle the toy in a way that’s best for how you’re sitting, lying down or standing. I wouldn’t describe the Thrust & Go as quiet, but it wasn’t nearly as loud as many thrusting vibrators out on the market. Best of all, the Thrust & Go’s thrusts are good, strong thrusts with an actual in-and-out motion that really jive with my body. The two silicone attachments have a little flexibility and bend to them to ensure that it’s not too hard in your body.
One thing to note is the thrusting stops if you press up hard against the toy. I don’t think this is a design flaw — I think it’s to ensure that the thrusting vibrator doesn’t bang against a cervix. As someone who at times feels like my G-spot is all the way in there, I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t grind against the toy and keep it moving.
While it required a little bit of work to put the Thrust & Go together and stick it against a wall, being able to use my hands while getting the penetration I desire is totally worth pulling it off the shelf any day.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Vagina Gym’s Kegelbell
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing Kegelbell from the Vagina Gym.
There I was on a Thursday night, rounding out my first ever rewatch of True Blood, watching Lafayette dance around his living room in sunglasses and a bedazzled shirt, and I decided to finally test out Kegelbell.
First of all, I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to rewatch True Blood, like what? It’s the best rewatch decision I’ve made in a while. But I blasted through it far too quickly and got sad. I went too fast, and my love for the inhabitants of Bon Temps and Pamela Swynford De Beaufort made me speed through it all. So what’s something I do when I am a little sad and want things to turn around? Put things inside my pussy!
I reached for the Kegelbell box and started to open it, but realized I should probably pee first. The first time I learned about kegels, it was in an issue of Cosmopolitan from when I was in middle school, no doubt in some article where the writer was telling the reader to do the exercise so their two-bit boyfriend would be more satisfied while they were fucking. It seemed like anything to do with the kegel exercises wasn’t meant at all for the person who owned the vagina, but more so meant as another way to please the person who was going to be inside of it.
It was a long time before I learned that kegels didn’t just have to be for a vagina having a person’s pussy to be tighter for someone who probably didn’t deserve to be in there in the first place. As we get older, have babies, or enter into menopause our bodies change and it’s something we don’t always have control over. We often use these anonymous sex toy reviews to talk about new vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, and other stuff that helps to increase our sex lives, partnered and solo. But I wanted to make a small change and test out something that can be used for something beyond just something for sexy times.
I wanted to try it because so much of Kegelbell doesn’t seem to be aimed at all things sex-related. It helps with that but also claims to be a better alternative to surgery for things like looseness, vaginal dryness, and even orgasm dysfunction. Kegelbell says they can also help with incontinence, restrengthening after birth, and pelvic organ prolapse — something I’d never even heard of until I tried out Kegelbell. They also don’t claim to be a medical device, which I appreciate; they classify it as an exercise tool to help women with their fitness goals and a natural way to take care of their bodies. I do hate the fact that they link vaginas directly to womanhood, and that only one of the visual reviews they have chosen to share is from a Black person — both of those things could use some SERIOUS readjusting. But onto my time with the product.
As I watched Sookie Stackhouse run across that cemetery in a white dress for what felt like the millionth fucking time, I got started. I was sent the entire original kit ($99.95), which has two different sized inserts (made from body safe medical-grade silicone), three different weighted bells (ranging from 30g to 120g), an instruction guide, and a really soft little fuzzy storage bag for it all. They also sent me their Insert Serum, which is basically just lube (and you can use it with other things, except it’s not compatible with polyurethane condoms) but I like the idea of having a lube just to use with the system. I made sure to wash everything down first with warm water and soap — they sell cleaner meant just for the system too, if you wanted even more separation — then dried it off and added the lube.
It was easy to insert; I started with the small bulb first and they suggested trying to see if you can squeeze the insert and keep it in while pulling on the cord. I could, so I added the first weight at 30g. After I attached the weight I just, well, squeezed. 10 seconds squeezing with my knees slightly bent while the bell swung in between my legs, then relaxed for 30 seconds while holding the bell in my hand before starting again. I didn’t have any issues with the insert falling completely out, but it did take a little bit of extra work to keep it in when I wasn’t kegeling. I repeated it all for five minutes, took it out, cleaned it all, and put it away in its little pouch.
After two weeks of workouts (I was pretty consistent in doing it three times a week) I was able to move up to the second bell and had to work a little less hard at keeping it in when not squeezing. Don’t get me wrong, it was still slipping out but it genuinely felt like it was slipping out a little less. I couldn’t feel things getting stronger, necessarily, but when I was using the system I noticed a difference. I wasn’t expecting to be able to walk around and feel my pussy muscles getting brolic but it was obvious that there was a change.
There are about 16 different combinations of weight that you can work up to when you’re using the system: combining the bells together, using different sized inserts, and extending the amount of time you exercise for. I recommend starting small and working your way up; you don’t need to be a hero and go for the gold right away. Kegelbell recommends doing it in the shower since each workout is only five minutes long at the start — but I liked doing it in the middle of the living room with the windows open.
In the end, it works, and I’ll be using it more as time goes on but I’ll probably knock it down to just twice a week. It does the job of strengthening what it’s supposed to and it’s fairly easy to use. The price is a little steep, especially when it’s something that you can technically do for free, but if you are considering surgery for any of the reasons I talked about earlier then maybe getting this first and trying it is the way to go before you go that route. My major qualm is the makers directly connecting having a vagina to being a woman. Rethinking that approach would make it so they don’t erase an entire group of folks who may be interested and need the product. That and they have to get rid of whoever this guy is who is supposed to talk you through your workout — it’s terrifying, haunts my dreams, and dries me up so quickly that I almost emptied out the bottle of Insert Serum.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Love Hamma Thrusting Vibrator
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing Love Hamma Thrusting Vibrator from Spectrum Boutique.
Lifting the pink Love Hamma Thrusting Vibrator from its packaging unlocked something deep inside me. A need I hadn’t realized existed. A dyke dream previously unnamed. I wanted to get fucked by this hammer-shaped vibrator. Pounded, if you will.
The Love Hamma, as advertised, is like a regular hammer in size and shape. It’s almost as heavy as one as well. The difference, besides the light pink color (it also comes in black), is the functionality. Although, after use I would totally bet money that this toy could put a nail into a wall. I almost tried it, but after using this toy there was no way I was going to potentially damage the motors when I have a perfectly fine hammer that isn’t $130.
The Love Hamma head offers seven different speeds and vibrations that I would rank as a solid medium in terms of strength: not going to wow you if you use a magic wand, but much stronger than many vibrators on the market. What I think is genius about this design–besides the role play potential–are the various parts you can put against your bod. The face of the hammer provides a flat surface to grind against while the claw of the Hamma can cup your clit. For internal play, flip it around as the handle has three vibration speeds. Yes, I did just google “parts of a hammer”.
Thrusters are having a moment in the sex toy industry and rightfully so. Toys that can do the penetrative work for us? Yes please! What the sex toy industry usually means when they talk about “thrusters” are toys with two heavy internal parts that shake with enough force they create a back-and-forth motion. Not all thrusters are successful however, many lose their oomph once they’re inside a tight body, the motor too weak to create movement while muscles squeeze against them. Thrusting toys can’t replace human fucking, but they’re a hell of a lot of fun.
The Love Hamma, I’m happy to report, did not have this problem. The thrusters are strong and the ten different patterns were fun to explore. The Love Hamma has two different handle options, a straight one and a curved end. The straight handle looks much more hammer-like but I opted for the curved end as I need a little shape to hit the internal spots needed for an orgasm. I didn’t orgasm from the internal thrusting, but also, I didn’t need to. The vibrations of the toy got me and my brain practically came on it’s own just from the Love Hamma being such a fun concept.
For those wanting a solo thrusting experience, I would probably recommend a different toy that’s easier to hold alone. But for partner play and occasional solo use, this toy is totally worth it. I found myself using the face of the hammer externally while the thrusting motor was on. While it wasn’t quite pounding against my body, it was a different and hot sensation than just vibration. With an experienced impact play top, there’s no reason you couldn’t use this toy as a joyful impact toy as well.
Not all pervs will look between their legs and see the handle of a hammer inside their body and think, “that’s hot”, but for those that would, this is your toy. The Love Hamma is easy to hold, the buttons are clearly marked, and just think of the erotic potential of inviting someone over to help you build shelves, but in a sexy way. You know a toy is worth it when it inspires you, to play in new ways, try new things and create new experiences and that is just what the Love Hamma does. It might not be everyone’s wet dream to get fucked or to fuck with a hammer, but for the curious and the daring, this would be a unique toy to add to your belt loop next time your crush calls you over to help out with some handy work.
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Shameless Slim Player Thrusting Vibrator
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing The Shameless Slim Player Thrusting Vibrator.
So, duh — I have tried quite a few different sex toys. I have a couple of straps, got really into suction toys for both partnered and solo sex, love my good old standard bullet vibes and dildos, and of course ropes/clamps/collars galore right? But I have been looking for something new, not just for me but for when I am inevitably hooking up with the hotties on the summer roster.
I’ve been hearing about thrusting vibrators making their way onto the market and immediately wanted one. A thrusting vibrator is one where it mimics the thrusting motion of penetration. I thought that would be cool because of two reasons — sometimes I want penetration without being strapped down, and other times I’m too lazy to use a dildo to fuck myself. In comes the Shameless Slim Player Thrusting Vibrator!
First things first, this toy is a whopping $215 — GOTDAMN! I don’t come from the school of thought that just because a toy has a higher price tag, that automatically means that it’s going to be any good. I’ve seen toys come in all kinds of sexy packaging, with gold foil letters on the box, and a handy dandy silk bag, and end up being absolute trash. In the case of The Shameless Slim Player, the price didn’t match my orgasm, but it wasn’t a total disaster.
I’m going to chalk the high price point to all the motors and moving that come with this toy. It has a curved shaft, gold-plated details, an external stimulator, and an accordion-style thruster to cap it all off. The external vibrator is pretty strong and the sort of nubbin shape it has rested on my clit perfectly. My favorite part about the external vibe is that it has this sort of hood peeking out on top of it. It actually gave my clitoral hood a really good sort of tickle while the nub was working on my clit and that felt amazing. You can control the external vibe without having the thruster going, which kinda turns it into a rabbit-esque dildo. It has seven settings; the first one is pretty powerful and just goes up from there.
At this point, I was pretty turned on just by using the external, but that’s not what I was there for — it was time to thrust. There are three buttons on The Shameless Slim Player: the power button, the button that controls the vibrations for the external vibe, and the button that controls the thrusting action. They were pretty easy for me to maneuver, which I had actually been pretty worried about. Some of the fancy toys have buttons that are hidden or so deep inset that you can’t really find them when you’re playing; these float on top just enough so you can feel them when you wanna change up things while you’re in the moment.
I pressed the thrusting button and at first, it felt a bit off. The toy has a five-inch insertable length and it was all inside me at the time and was close to hitting my g-spot — which is something The Shameless proudly boasts — so I pulled it out a bit ‘cos although I was turned on, I wasn’t ready for that kinda stimulation just yet. So once I did that the thrusting motion felt a bit better; it definitely didn’t fully mimic the kind of penetration I was hoping for but it felt nice. It can go up to 850 thrusts per minute, starts slow, and then works its way up with four thrusting modes in total. I thought it would feel like it does when a partner is fucking me with a dildo in their hand, but it felt very much machiney — which is fair, ‘cos it’s a machine. I had to get out of the mindset of wanting it to mimic some form of penetration that comes with human interaction and just let it be a machine that was fucking me, and when I did it was pretty good!
I did come, but I’m going to chalk most of that orgasm up to the external vibe. When the thrusting was on its highest setting it took me there but if it weren’t for the external, I feel like I’d just be a wet mess with a somewhat sore labia. It does hit the g-spot but the thrust action felt a little aggressive for g-spot play for me, and I got the most pleasure from having it not so deep inside me.
It’s got an 80 minute run time, which I think is pretty great for a good solo session; it’s waterproof, made with body-safe silicone (it felt soft as hell), and can be used with a water-based lube. I’m definitely going to tell you to make sure you clean this toy really, REALLY well, making sure to get into all the crevices of the accordion thruster (and under the hood of the external vibe) with a toy cleaner or warm water and soap.
I liked The Shameless Slim Player but it is very much so a fucking machine. If you’re looking for something new for penetration this could be the toy for you, but the $215 price tag just makes me want to avoid it. I really do think that as more thrusting toys start to come on the market the price will drop, and I super think the high price tag is just due to all that goes into making a new type of toy like this. So when that happens I’ll be ready to try more, but for now, I’ll just stop being lazy and jill off with my dildo or ride my suction toy on the edge of the bathtub.
VIDEO: Learn All About Sex Toys with Archie Bongiovanni
It seems like only yesterday that Archie led the Queer Sex 101: All About Sex Toys workshop and taught us all about Thank you so much to everyone who came to the live facilitation of this educational workshop led by Archie! If you missed it, you can still watch the recording right below and refer to the provided transcript:
As a special offering for Autostraddle readers in connection with this workshop, local indie sex toy retailer Smitten Kitten is offering 20% off your entire purcahse with code QUEERSEX101 til May 6!
More Sex Toy Resources from Autostraddle
Archie’s Sex Toy Recommendations
+ FemmeFunn Ffix Bullet Vibrator
+ Aria Hue G Vibrator
+ Satisfyer Petting Hippo Vibrator
+ Hitachi Magic Wand Vibrator
+ Noje Wand and Wand Attachments
+ Ohnut
Learn All About the Basics of Sex Toys!
RACHEL: Hi, everyone! Good evening. It’s really great to have you here. And I really appreciate everyone who has shown up for the second edition of our new live video series. Where real queer people teach you about the sort of nuts and bolts of real queer sex! Tonight we will be working with Archie Bongiovanni, who I am honored to call a personal friend. Archie is so knowledgeable and also so kind and approachable. They have the experience of working at our own indie sex shop in Minneapolis, Smitten Kitten. I almost always say Smitten Kitchen, like the food blog. It’s not that. It’s Smitten Kitten. And I’m really excited that they’re able to share all of the expertise, knowledge, and context they have about both the actual kind of products involved in queer sex toys, and also the kind of context about how we as queer people can actually use them in our lives.
Archie you might know already as the author of Grease Bats, both the Autostraddle comic and the real live physical book that has been published with the same title. They’ve also published books like the quick and easy guide to using they/them pronouns, and you may have seen their books published all over the internet. They’re here to bring that voice and sense of approachability as well as their knowledge about everything related to queer sex toys, to give a primer and also to answer some of the questions that y’all have sent in ahead of time. And thank you to everyone who is attending this workshop live for being an A+ member. Everything about these workshops, from the planning and paying the presenters and captioners is funded entirely by A+ money and we’re so excited that your support is able to make possible things like this, that are enjoyed by the entire community. Thanks so much. I’ll be here in the chat all night, along with our A+ and fundraising director Nicole and our live captioner, Mirabai, to answer any questions and to support Archie as they present. I’m super excited to hear what they have to say. I’m sure you are too. Archie, let’s go ahead!
ARCHIE: Sweet. All right. Hi, everyone! I’m Archie. I use they/them pronouns. Really excited to be here with y’all tonight. It is storming here in Minneapolis. So if my internet is lagging or I get cut off… It’s the thunderstorm’s fault. And I think just… Have a little bit of grace. Which I think everyone has at this point with virtual events. I want to start with a little bit of a brief overview of how I’m going to be kind of pacing the next hour. I’m gonna start by talking about — when someone comes to me, seeking a new sex toy, whether it be their first or their 50th, I like to kind of ask a couple different questions, or there’s things to kind of consider overall. And then I’m gonna talk about… Cleaning, lube, what kind of sex toys there are out there. A whole bunch!
Here’s Your Queer Sex Toy Overview
So a little overview of the different types. And then we’re gonna do Q and A. By all means, ask a question whenever it comes up. In that little ask a question box. Maybe not the chat. Because I’ll lose it. And we also have some links to some of the items that we will be talking about. So if you see something, you can click it now. Save it for later. These are the things that I will be pointing out — are things that I really recommend. And I will answer the questions at the end. Oh, hi! Yeah. Oh, what I also really wanted to point out is that I do work at Smitten Kitten, which is a really, really inclusive, really rad sex toy shop in Minneapolis. But they ship worldwide.
And they really wanted to pass along a discount code for y’all. So queersex101, for 20% off. And that’s good until May 6th. And that’s 20% off your whole purchase. So you can kind of stock up, if you want. But… So you come in. And you’re like… I… I don’t know anything about sex toys. Where do I start? One of the things that I like to kind of have someone think about… One, when you get a sex toy, what price range feels comfortable for you? Sex toys, I think, as we know, especially if you’ve browsed those websites, any online shop, you know that they range from $10 to $150. Having a more expensive toy doesn’t necessarily make a toy better. And having a $20, $30, $50 toy can be, like, your perfect item. So I really like to work within whatever kind of feels comfortable. With someone’s budget. Because I think we can… I think there’s quality toys in every budget.
Material
The second thing you always need to kind of consider when you’re looking at sex toys is the material. Sex toys are not, like, the sex toy business… The industry… Is not well regulated. It’s kind of like the Wild West. Something can be mislabeled. If you go on Amazon, there’s a good chance you might get a counterfeit product. So what you’re really looking for is things that are hypoallergenic and not porous. Especially if it’s gonna be something that you put inside your body. Any sort of, like, jelly toy or toy that isn’t, like, medical or food grade material… Can harbor bacteria. Viruses. And can cause infections.
Sometimes when I work in the shop, people will be like — oh, this toy, it always irritates me. And we ask… Where did you get it? And it wasn’t from us. Smitten Kitten. We find that it’s like a jelly material. So that’s something to be kind of mindful of. But also… What I like to recommend is just like… Shop at one of the many sex shops that are out there that kind of do the work on their side to kind of make sure that they’re providing quality, safe toys. And they usually will talk about that in their messaging. And in their about page. That way you don’t have to be a scientist. You can let other people get paid to do that work. And you can just enjoy shopping.
Materials that are, like, totally safe are going to be silicone, glass, surgical steel, sealed ceramics, and medical grade plastics. I have some examples of some of those that we’ll get to later. Another thing to kind of think about, when you’re looking at a sex toy for the first time is if it’s a vibrating sex toy, is it gonna be battery operated or rechargeable? Rechargeable toys… Can sometimes last longer, or they often have a warranty, which is something else you might want to kind of think about. They often have a warranty that’s a little bit longer. However, battery toys are really easy for travel. Can also be just as convenient. And then there are a few toys that are directly plugged into the wall.
Those are not waterproof. So that’s kind of something that is not great about them. However… They’re always gonna be at 100% power. Which is kind of nice for also… Battery operated toys. Is that if your toy dies, you can just switch those batteries and keep going. If it’s a rechargeable toy, you have to kind of wait. So there’s pros and cons to any of them. But something to kind of think about. The other thing I like to talk to people about when it comes to getting their first sex toy is how it fits in your hand, and how the buttons look. And this isn’t something that I think people automatically kind of think about or look for. But it’s gonna be something that you’re gonna hold onto for five minutes, 50 minutes, et cetera. You want to make sure that it fits comfortably in your palm.
And that it doesn’t hurt your wrist. And that perhaps… Where are the buttons located? Is it gonna be annoying to kind of find those buttons? Is it a single button? Can I not tell which button turns it on or off? And then… You know. Midway. You turn it off by accident. That can always… That’s a bummer. So that’s something to kind of think about too. Yeah. So those are what I usually ask people to kind of think, when they first come into the shop. The second thing I kind of want to cover for this sex toy 101 is cleaning your toys. It’s something that is usually included in any box. But it’s always nice to kind of get another primer.
So silicone — silicone tends to be kind of soft. It can be a little harder. But it’s usually pretty soft. A little bit of flexibility. All you need is body friendly soap and hot water. You can also… If it is not one… Say, a dildo, if it doesn’t have a vibrating component, you can also put it on the top rack of your dishwasher. I don’t know a lot of people who do it. But it’s an option. Any silicone dildo or anal toy without vibrating components can also be boiled. For 3 to 5 minutes.
And that will also sanitize them. Plastic… ABS plastic… Is a safe plastic for sex toys. That’s, again, body friendly soap and hot water. It’s not porous. You can also always have a bleach solution. To kind of quickly wipe down toys as well. I don’t know if it’s fully necessary. I don’t really think it is. Body friendly soap and hot water is like the best. It’s like your best friend. Don’t complicate it. Is my own opinion. Glass… Don’t boil glass. You’re just gonna want to use soap and hot water for that as well. Steel, also soap and water. You can also steam steel toys. If you want to sanitize it. But then they get really hot. So be careful. And then elastomer… Which is kind of what a lot of strokers are made out of… So it’s not quite silicone… Pretty stretchy. These are… Sex toys made of this item aren’t meant for sharing. Because they are porous. So it’s kind of like a solo toy.
That you can just kind of flush out with hot water. Soap will kind of start to degrade it. So that’s something to know too. Yeah. Okay. My next topic is lube. Smitten Kitten really prides itself on being a lube… A shop full of lube nerds. I think that lube is almost necessary for any sort of play. It can enhance sensation. It can add, like, a protective barrier between toys or skin. It can also rehydrate skin. And your genitals are part of your body. They need hydration as well. So lube, however, is similar to the sex toy industry. Where it’s not well regulated. And there’s a lot of lube out there with ingredients that can cause harm or irritation. And also, bodies are super, super unique. And so there isn’t, like, a one fits all lube.
Everyone Needs Lube
I get asked pretty often like: What’s the best lube? What’s the best lube for a body? And it’s gonna vary from person to person. Since everyone has different things that maybe they’re sensitive to, different pH levels in a vulva, and just a lot of different things to kind of consider. Smitten Kitten does have lube sample packs. So that’s something to kind of think about. If you really want to invest some time to find your lube. That’s a nice way to get a bunch of little lubes, to kind of try them out.
Doo-doo… Water-based lube is the most common lube that’s out there. It’s also… Tends to be the most affordable. So that’s really nice. The other thing that’s really nice about water-based lube is that it’s compatible with everything. It’s compatible with barriers, with all the toys, and so it is really nice to just have a lube that you don’t really have to think… Does this work with this toy? Does this work with this barrier method? However… When you’re using water-based lube, you’re absorbing all the ingredients. And they do tend to have the longest ingredient list. And they can… It can change the pH level of a vulva. And when that gets kind of skewed one way or another, that can cause irritation. But it can also cause BV, and it can kind of just be like… Uncomfortable. So… When you go to a grocery store, or, like, wherever people buy lube randomly, like a convenience store, they often have KY.
Which… Not all KY is what I would consider body safe. A lot of them have glycerin, which is sugar, which can cause a lot of yeast. And other kind of ingredients that I wouldn’t want in my body. That would possibly irritate. So I think lube is something to be a little picky about. Especially water-based lube. Silicone lube… Is nice. Because the molecules are too big to get absorbed into your body. So you’re not absorbing those ingredients. It’s literally just gonna stay on your body until it, like, dissipates. Until it’s gone. So you’re not absorbing it. Which means you’re not taking in any ingredients.
But you’re also not changing the pH level. So that’s not gonna cause any irritation. Silicone lube is often what I recommend for folks who are experiencing a lot of irritation with the lube. Like, they’re just not finding a water-based lube that works for them. I often recommend switching to silicone. Silicone lube — the bummer about that is that it’s not compatible with silicone toys. Something to note with that is that… When people say it’s not compatible with silicone toys, it’s not gonna melt your toy. It’s not gonna destroy your toy or make it break down in your body. The molecules bond. The silicone molecules bond together. And so it can sort of change the way that your toy looks, or, like, a little bit about how it feels. Almost like pilling on a sweater, or a slight… A very slight ridge where the silicone is.
So if you do end up using silicone on silicone, it’s not the end of the world. You didn’t destroy your toy. It may just look a little bit different. So for folks who have a lot of sensitivity, I often recommend, like, it might not keep your toy looking super pristine forever, but… It might outweigh… That might outweigh being able to have sex without irritation. So… That’s kind of silicone. Hybrid lube is also out there. That is part silicone, part water-based. That’s pretty cool, because it is compatible with silicone toys. And some folks find that hybrid lube lasts a little bit longer than water-based lube. Because water-based is getting absorbed. However, it’s not quite as hypoallergenic as just silicone. And then there’s also oil-based lube.
Oil-based lube is super, super hydrating. It’s really great for dryness or folks who have, like, any sort of irritation. For folks who are on antidepressants, or have any sort of hormonal changes, whether it be like menopause or… HRT, or chemo, et cetera, hydration becomes really, really important. On a vulva. On genitals. And so that’s where I think oil-based really shines. Is kind of like… It’s like lotion, basically. But also, it’s a great lube. It’s nice and slippery. It’s rehydrating your skin.
If you have chronic recurring yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis, or UTIs, that’s when oil-based lube might not be the most compatible with your body. It is often kind of thick. Or it kind of takes a little bit longer to kind of clear out of your bod. And that’s where some folks can find irritation. But some folks won’t. So it’s a little bit kind of… Trying it out. If you’re at all interested. For folks who do have a lot of dryness, I often recommend… You can combine… There’s no reason you can’t combine lube. So I often recommend silicone and oil-based lube. So you get that hydrating with oil. Because silicone doesn’t hydrate. But you get the slipperiness that comes with silicone. One thing to note about oil-based lubes is that it’s not safe with latex or polyisoprene. So dental dams or condoms, those are something to be of note. It is safe with polyurethane condoms. Always double check. Just double check before you use it. Okay. Now is the fun part. That was… I feel like a lot of business-y stuff. Now I want to talk about… Just like the different types of toys that are out there.
Let’s Talk About the Types of Queer Sex Toys
Vibrators
I’m gonna start with vibrators. Vibrators are fun. They can be internal, they can be external, and they can go with any bod. There’s no right or wrong way to use a vibrator. And while, like I said, the sex toy industry can kind of suck, can be a very gendered industry, but the toys themselves often can be played all over your body. And I always like to recommend folks to like… See where vibration can feel good for you. It doesn’t have to be right on the genitals. It can be fun all over. So some of the beginner vibes that I have today… There are bullet vibes. So this is the FemmeFunn Ffix Bullet. This is a battery operated bullet.
It’s super great for beginners, because it’s not very expensive. So that’s something to note. Is like… You might not… If you’re buying your first toy, you might not want to start with, like, a $50, $80 toy. You might want to start with like a $20, $30 toy, and then it’s gonna get you closer to knowing what you do and you don’t like. Oftentimes battery operated toys end up feeling a little buzzy. Which isn’t bad. But that’s kind of like how I like to describe to others… Especially if you’re not in the same room and you can’t feel the toys… Different types of vibrations. There’s buzzy vibrations. And then there’s thuddy vibrations. Sometimes I think of it as… You can kind of imagine from a sound frequency… If a buzzy is something like a fly buzzing around… So it’s a little kind of like a higher kind of sensation. And then a thuddy kind of… Vibrator is gonna have sort of a deeper — almost like a rumble.
So this FemmeFunn bullet is nice. Because it’s just like… Nice, easy bullet. And then there are also beginner toys that are gonna be better for internal sensation. While you absolutely can use a bullet toy vaginally, often it’s just kind of like… A little bit straight. And if you’re using an internal toy, I like to recommend just a little bit of a curve. To kind of hit that spot. So this is another super popular toy at Smitten Kitten, called a Hue G. It’s a nice single button battery operated toy. What’s nice about this one, compared to this one, to think about, again, this is gonna be really easy to kind of hide in your bedroom, to pack.
To kind of put in a place where maybe people won’t find it. This one… A little more obvious. This… When you think about, again, kind of the buttons and the handle, to put it on your bod, your hand kind of has to be a little bit closer to your genitals. Anything with a wand kind of shape or reach is nice, because you can kind of have your hand be a little further up. So that’s something — if you have like arthritis or a lot of wrist pain, something to be considerate about.
And those can get pretty long too. This is the Satisfyer Petting Hippo. This is a $50 toy. Satisfyer has a line of vibrators that are really awesome for $50. They can be internal, external. I know. The Petting Hippo actually has a face of a hippo. Um… Pretty playful. It’s nice because it’s $50, rechargeable, so it’s gonna have a little bit of a thuddier kind of vibe. Can you hear this? I don’t know if you can hear it.
(very faint buzzing)
I also don’t know where my speakers are. There’s some water. Because I washed these before. Versus… Let’s see if I can get a buzzy toy on
(higher pitched buzzing)
So if you can hear it, awesome. If you can’t, sorry I wasted your time. To show a little bit of… You can sometimes hear the difference. Rechargeable toys can at times be a little bit quieter than battery operated toys too. So if you’re trying to be a little bit stealth, you have roommates, you have family that you live with, noise is something else you want to be kind of thoughtful about. This petting hippo has, again, that super long reach, which is really awesome. It has a lot of flexibility. So you can kind of play with the pressure. You can also use it internally. It’s got a g-spot curve. It’s also kind of fun to see what you could perhaps do with this kind of shape and how you can kind of put it on a body. In different ways.
The next kind of vibrator that I want to talk about are rabbit vibrators. These are often when people hear the word “vibrator”, they often picture a rabbit vibrator. And they kind of look like this. Rabbit vibrators have an internal piece for g-spot or p-spot, and then outside kind of stimulation. They can be a little bit tricky. If you’re buying your first toy. Because essentially you’re trying to find… You’re trying to hit two things at once. You’re trying to hit your internal sensation of where that might feel good. Plus where it’s gonna feel good on the outside of your body. And since every body is different, the girth, the length, the curve versus how this hits on your body — you’re essentially kind of shopping for two toys at once. It’s not to say you can’t do it. It’s just something to kind of think about. Before spending… A bunch of money on a toy that you’re like… Oh, I like the outside but not the inside. So… Rabbits can be pretty tricky.
But they can also be, like, a lot of fun. Next… Wands. So wands are usually… There’s the Hitachi Magic Wand. Is… The best… I don’t know. The best known wand, I would say. However, they do make smaller wands. This is called the Palm Power. As well. The Magic Wand, there’s three different ones out there right now, that Hitachi makes. Some are rechargeable. And some plug into the wall. And wands are known for having bulbous heads. So heads that are a little bit large.
The Hitachi Magic Wand doesn’t just hit one part of your body. It really is like a spread-out strong sensation. And that’s what wands are known for. Is being super, super strong. They’re usually really rumbly. And they can also be for… Like I said, all bods love wands. The Hitachi Magic Wands — they’re quite large. You know, they’re very easy to hold onto. However, again, if you have wrist pain, that might not be your friend. So something lighter, like a Palm Power, could be awesome.
This is sort of like a little travel wand. Called the Noje. Again, it’s got that head that’s like a little bit flexible. Wands are fun, because they often have attachments that can be put on to create internal attachments, the heads come on and off, or this little wand can come with other attachments, which is just like… Super fun to kind of explore that sensation. All over your body. So this could be on a clitoris. A nipple. This one could be super fun kind of cupping, again, the clitoris, or… Playing with how it feels against a penis. That’s kind of… What is so fun about toys. Is just how versatile they could be.
So yeah. That’s the Noje wand. So if you’re like… Ooh, I want something that’s kind of rumbly, kind of strong, that’s a great wand. Because it’s $50, $60, rechargeable, small enough to kind of pack and hideaway. And isn’t… It’s not gonna break the bank. As far as toys being versatile, this is called the Volta. So this is a little bit more of an expensive toy. But when you turn it on, these kind of flick together. So that can be super fun on a clitoris, but it can also be great on a penis as well. You can kind of lay your body on it as well.
So I like to always point out that this toy exists. Just to kind of show that… They’re constantly — this came out like two years ago — toys are constantly evolving. And if you’re like… I don’t think that there’s a toy that I really want for a specific thing… It might pop up someday. So… This is a really great couples toy as well.
Air Pressure Toys
Then there’s air pressure toys. And those are also pretty new on the market. But have become really well known, because they don’t feel like anything else out there. They’re not gonna feel like another kind of vibrator.
So… This is the Satisfyer. Satisfyer is awesome. They tend to be fairly loud. Air pressure toys are not quiet. But what they do is you kind of put a clitoris like right here… And they cause bursts of air pressure. And it almost sort of can feel a little bit like a suction. But… That’s not what’s happening. It’s not actually, like, sucking your body. It’s like a small burst of air pressure. Repeated. And that’s kind of how these toys make the feeling that they’re creating.
Super, super fun. I like Satisfyer, especially if you’re like… I’m curious about it, but I don’t know if I want to commit to it. Satisfyer tends to have a lot of pretty affordable brands on there. In their line.
Anal Toys
Okay. I’m gonna keep going. We’re gonna move to anal toys. And I just also want to reiterate, if you do have questions, I know I’m talking really fast. There’s just a lot of information. But if you do have questions, plop it in the “ask a question” box. So for anal toys, super fun. Again… All genders love ’em. There is a nice basic anal plug. This one is called petite sensations. They have a great line of beginner plugs. They all have this kind of battery operated bullet as a part of it.
So you can play with vibration if you want. The thing that makes anal toys sometimes a little bit different than any other vibrator is that they always have to have a base. Like, a flared base. So this is not an anal-safe toy. But this toy — it is. There’s something to kind of stop it from just getting like… Sucked up in there. So if you’re buying… If you’re curious about like… Oh, I want to buy my first anal toy… Some things to kind of think about and look for… Is the tip. Any sort of flared tip like this is really great for easing into your anal sphincters. And then how this base kind of sits… Is this is how your anal sphincters are gonna kind of close around that. Which can be very satisfying. Especially if you’re moving, if you’re doing other things during sex. That base… This kind of closed base is pretty great.
Yeah. Most of those are kind of made of… So many materials. But that’s kind of like a nice basic plug. Next you have anal beads. They kind of look like this. This is by Vixen Gem stones. Vixen Creations makes these gem stones of various sizes. I think anal beads scare a lot of people, because they look just like a little unwieldy. But they actually are really fun. It is a small burst of a sensation. And then again, your sphincters close around this, and then it’s gonna be another burst of sensation again. You can stop at any point. But these kind of build up in the body. When you’re turned on, there’s a lot of blood going to that whole region. And that means there’s more ways to get stimulated.
So beads are really fun. And I don’t know if there has been an anal class yet. But I’m sure that if not… That there will be one. That Autostraddle will put on. So I won’t go too much in depth with it. The last toy I want to talk about is for anal — a prostate toy. Prostate toys have — unlike just a regular plug — they often have a little bit of a curve to it. And they tend to be made of harder material. So steel, glass, or this is ABS plastic.
This is the Aneros brand toy. Aneros is like… Mwah. They’re so good at prostate toys. They know exactly what they’re doing. And if you’re curious about them, I do recommend them. Aneros brands are also kind of… They have these nice ridges down here, where, again, you can kind of squeeze. And it is sort of meant for almost solo play. So you can kind of contract your sphincters, and that can stimulate your prostate just from the rocking motion that it creates.
Penis Toys
Yeah. Next I’m gonna just talk also about penis toys. So again… All of the vibrators I mentioned… Penis safe. Penis fun. But there are cock rings. They’re super great, especially if you have vibration. They can be fun for everybody involved. They can go in front of the testicles, behind the testicles, or this is called the O-hare. It does both. And you can have some teasing ticklers as well. Cock rings are safe. They slow the blood down from leaving the shaft of the penis. That can feel really pleasurable. The next toys I want to talk about are strokers for penises. So these are two strokers.
This one is the Sexy Pills. I think it’s called Blue Valentine stroker. These are elastomer. They are meant for solo play. Or… Partner play, but not… These aren’t supposed to be shared with someone else. So kind of like… One of these per body. They have a lot of texture on the inside. That can be really fun. And like I said, they come in a bunch of different shapes. And designs. I think they’re fun. And I also want to talk about HotOctopuss. Which is a brand. It’s one word with two S-s. HotOctopuss. They have a whole line of toys out there for penises that are real fun. They’re basically penis vibrators, specifically for penises that aren’t erect. You don’t need an erect penis to play with any of these. This is the Pocket Pulse. It’s the most affordable of the ones they have, but also the buzziest. So that’s kind of something — the other ones they have are pretty thuddy. But you can put an erect or not erect penis in there, and it can vibrate and it sort of has this little pulsating bit right here that kind of pulses. And vibrates. So those are really fun as well.
Dildos & Harnesses
Next I’m gonna talk a little bit about dildos. And harnesses.
It is starting to rain really hard here. So you might kind of hear some rain on the window. And I’m sorry if it ends up being kind of loud. Okay. So there will be a strap-on class. So I’m not gonna go too far in depth for dildos and harnesses. But besides girth and length, you kind of also want to think about texture, when you’re looking for a dildo. Some are a little bit harder silicone. These harder toys can be really nice, because they’re great at hitting p-spots or g-spots. They kind of keep their shape in your body. Other softer toys — these can be made of, like, dual density, if you want something really soft. That’s the keyword to look for. Is dual density silicone.
Super squishy. Super soft. These have a little bit more flexibility. And they kind of squish inside your body. And that can feel really nice as well. But they don’t hold their shape the same way that a harder silicone can. So… Something to kind of think about. For any sort of anal dildo, you’re gonna want something that’s smooth. So girth, length aside… You want something that’s gonna be smooth, without a lot of texture on top of it. Dildo bases vary. Most are harness compatible. And some also have vibrating capabilities. A lot of people ask how they can feel the vibration or giving vibration to a partner while wearing a dildo. Get one that has a spot for a bullet vibe, and then get a strong rechargeable bullet. Not a battery operated one.
And you’re gonna be able to feel it a lot more through the density of that silicone. Double ended dildos exist as well, that are worn internally and externally. Or for penetration externally. These are a little bit tricky. Because you are again… It’s sort of like a rabbit toy. Buying something that’s trying to please two people at once. They are sometimes called harnessless dildos. I recommend assuming that you’re gonna want to use it with a harness. Just for that stability. It takes a lot of your kegel muscles to hold onto, while other muscles are kind of contracting on the other side. One other thing I want to note, when we’re talking about dildos or any sort of penetration… There are things called Ohnuts. So this is an Ohnut. It is stackable. It’s not a cock ring. It’s very light, very stretchy.
But if your partner or someone doesn’t want a lot of depth, you can use and stack these on a penis or a dildo, and it kind of acts like a little barrier to prevent it going too deep. Depending on what you’re interested in. A super, super squishy cock ring can also do that. However, a cock ring is gonna act like a cock ring. And you don’t always want that. So that’s the Ohnut. When you are shopping for harnesses, again, there’s gonna be a future strap-on class. So I don’t want to go too deep. But I will say: Sportsheets has a really, really nice affordable line of harnesses. If you want a beginner harness and don’t want to spend a lot of money, they’re awesome. They fit a lot of bodies, which is great too.
They are made often with nylon straps. Those nylon straps can kind of stretch with use. Or kind of like… Slide. So they’re not always the most stable. But they are affordable. Leather or pleather harnesses… Those are gonna be the most stable. But they’re also gonna be the most expensive. Underwear style harnesses… So sort of like RodeoHs I think are the most well known brand. Those are great, because you slip them on. You can usually, if you search around, you can find some in a lot of different styles, which can be great too. So it can kind of match your personality.
They do have a tendency to kind of stretch with time. And… If you are trying to, like, have a harness that you share with a partner, underwear styles are the least likely that two people are gonna fit one pair. While leather and sort of like… Nylon harness can fit a lot of bods. So… That’s that. I’m gonna answer some questions right now. So… I know there’s a few… Yes. So I know that there’s a few in the comments. And there’s a few that we previously asked. But I’m gonna start with the one that’s in the comments. Just because it’s about harnesses. Any ideas for truly plus size harnesses for strap-ons or other ideas for two fatter people with vulvas having sex that aren’t double ended dildos? Scissoring toys have not worked so far. Yes. So for truly… So plus size harnesses. They’re out there.
They can be kind of like… Tough to find. I think… It depends a little bit on the style that you want. If you’re interested in a leather harness, if you can afford it, I would go to a place that you’re like… I like this leather harness. I like the way that this looks. A lot of leather shops offer customization. So you can really customize it to your waist, to your hips. Sportsheets… Not Sportsheets. Spare Parts. If you want an underwear-style harness, they’re great. They go up to XXXXX. Which of course — it’s sizing. And I don’t remember what exact inch number it is.
But Spare Parts is really nice if you want an underwear-style harness. And they tend to be a little bit nicer quality than RodeoH, and they’re gonna last longer than RodeoH harnesses as well. So those are my… Harness questions. If you want an affordable one, Spare Parts does make… Sorry, not Spare Parts. It’s because they both start with S. Sportsheets makes very affordable plus sized harnesses. But they’re gonna slip. So… That’s kind of like… The bummer. And so the other thing you want to think about when you’re going harness shopping is that any toy — it’s gonna lose a little bit of length.
Once it’s in the O-ring. And just kind of how bodies, butts, bellies (audio drop)
ARCHIE: Thing to think about… Sorry. Ha-ha. That’s something to think about. With not only how long it is, but also… Oh, audio is back? I’m sorry if I disappeared. Am I okay to go? Can someone tell me in the chat? I’m here? I cut out for a minute? Oh, no! I don’t know how long I was cut out. MIRABAI: Check the transcript! Ha-ha.
Your Queer Sex Toy Questions, Answered!
ARCHIE: So I’m gonna roll with it. I’m answering the question… Toys for disabled overweight folks who might find reach difficult. I was saying again — longer handles. I like this Petting Hippo, because of its length. Something you might want to think about also is how it’s gonna hold in your hand. So I like the Petting Hippo, because it’s very light. The Hitachi Magic Wand also has a long reach. But it’s really heavy. So for disabled folk or other folks with any sort of wrist problems, that might not be a viable solution. The Le Wand Petite also has a strength of a wand, but is a little bit lighter. You can get a wand attachment. Um… Oh. I cut out for a minute or so. I was talking about the O ring.
I’m just gonna keep going. Sorry! Yeah. Oh, the Le Wand Petite. Nice for that reach. But a little bit lighter. And… Has some attachments, so if you wanted internal play, it has that length with that… An internal attachment. Tantus also has a few toys with handles. These are nice for partner play. They’re not quite — the handles aren’t quite the curve for solo play. But they’re nice to hold onto for partner play. The G Force is possibly one that could be nice, because it has a little bit of a curve. By Tantus. Double ended dildos — especially ones that don’t have a lot of flexibility, like the Sharevibe, those can be kind of nice, because you can use the part — the smaller part that usually is internal for the wearer — you can kind of use that as almost like a handle for solo penetration.
Steel anal hooks can also be used vaginally or anally, if reach is something that is difficult. Because they have that long reach and a hook, and that can kind of go right into a g-spot or a p-spot, and stimulate that way. And then a palm harness is a good idea for folks who perhaps have any sort of problems with grip. Because you can kind of hold a harness into that. And I am happy to answer more specific questions. About different toy recommendations if folks have them. About disability.
So… Any suggestions for a wand-style toy that’s less intense than the Magic Wand? Yes. So I honestly think this toy is super fun. So… It is smaller. However, it comes with five variables of speed. So it does have, like, a nice low rumble. But still that kind of wand capability. Also, if you have the original Hitachi, I might suggest upgrading to the Hitachi Plus, which is their newer version. It’s still a plug-in version, but it has four speeds instead of just their two.
Let’s see. Is there a double dildo that works really well with a particular harness? So any double ended dildo is going to work with a harness as long as you can either… If it’s fabric — and most do this. The fabric can move to the side — or it’s just like an open o-ring… It will not work… Double ended toys — they’re not gonna work if there’s a flat piece of leather and the o-ring sits on that, because you won’t be able to use the internal part. Oh, this is the Noje. N-O-J-E. That one.
So… Some questions that people had sent in, that I will answer. Advice, tips for wearing a strap-on while having my clit stimulated. What toys are best designed for this? So again, getting a strong vibrator that goes in a dildo is going to kind of provide you pleasure if you’re wearing it, but also pleasure for whoever is being penetrated. But also maybe perhaps the We-Vibe Unite. Which kind of sits in the body. And then there are harnesses that also allow for a bullet vibrator to kind of sit in the harness. I find all of these to be… Just not as great as me holding a toy to my body. During penetration.
Things can kind of get shifted and moved. And if you just use a toy directly, it can be annoying. But you’ll have more kind of control. Another person asked: What is the safest and most effective lube? We kind of talked a little bit about that. But if you really want something that isn’t gonna interact with your body, whatsoever, go with silicone. Is my recommendation. Someone asked… I like this question. Do I buy a strap-on if I want to use it with a future unknown partner? Or is it weird to have one lying around?
Oh, yep, yep. Check the chat for another great question. Or another great suggestion. Is it weird to have one lying around? I say… Not weird to be stocked up. Just get it! Get one for you! Another question that came in earlier: I cannot find my p-spot. I read articles, experimented, and it’s just meh for me. I sometimes like having a vibe in there. But that’s it. I feel like I’m missing out. Okay. The p-spot can be super elusive. If you’re able, I do recommend trying to find it yourself first. With your own hand. Not a thing that everyone can do.
But I do recommend trying it. It’s usually a couple knuckles in. Curled towards your belly. The more turned on you are, the more likely that you’ll feel it. And the more likely it’ll be like a little enlarged with arousal. You can also try, again, a toy that is perhaps a little bit harder material, that has that kind of curve to it, to kind of stimulate and feel it. You can also stimulate the prostate externally, through the perineum. So getting and trying a strong vibrator, like the Magic Wand, you could perhaps stimulate your prostate from the outside of your body. So that could be something to kind of play with as well. And also… It might just not be for you. That’s okay too. Not everyone can find their prostate. Not everyone enjoys prostate play. So… It’s just… Everyone is different. Okay.
Another question. And again, if you have some, go ahead and ask. Or if you’re like… I really want you to answer my question that I sent in anonymously, so I’m gonna send it in again — go ahead. After using my Hitachi, I constantly get infections. I’ve talked to my doctor and it seems that the friction of the toy breaks my skin up in a way that leads to vaginal infections. But I like powerful sensation. Are there alternatives? So it does sound very uncomfortable. It sounds like there’s definitely some… Fissures. Some microfissures happening. I would make sure that you’re always using lube. Especially maybe a nice thick lube. I really like Sutil Rich. S-U-T-I-L Rich. That is a thick, water-based lube, and it can sort of act like a cushion or a barrier, between your body and any sort of toy. So I think that’s kind of important, to make sure you’re doing. You can also put a soft barrier in between your Magic Wand and your skin. Either like a silicone cap, or getting like… Even if it’s just you… You could use something kind of like one of these strokers. Put this over your wand. And it kind of creates a soft, squishy barrier. That’s not silicone. That’s something to just be mindful of.
Or there are grinding toys, such as the new one called Pelle Whim Silicone Grinding Toy on Spectrum Boutique. It’s kind of like a soft silicone toy. You could put that on your vulva, and then your Hitachi Magic Wand on top of that. Also, if you want a toy, and you’re like… This still hurts. It’s not working. You might want to try a super strong toy that has more pinpointed sensation, instead of the overall sensation that the head of the Hitachi gives. So that would be — I think the Eroscillator could be a nice contender. Really rumbly. Very strong. Also a plugin toy, so it’s always at 100% power. The We-Vibe Tango is a small bullet that is very rumbly. Or the Zumio, which is a super pinpointed toy.
I know we only have a minute. Do I have time to keep answering questions? Or… Should I wrap it up? I don’t mind. I have other questions. It’s up to y’all. Okay. Have to wrap it up. Totally. Um… Thank you all so much for coming. I’m not sure… Rachel might say an outro. But I do want to thank you all for being here. I’m sorry I cut out for a little bit. It sounds like. Because of the storm here. So that’s a bummer. I am, like, very down to answer questions. So feel free to, like, hit me up. Yeah. Or send questions in to Autostraddle anonymously, and they’ll have one of us probably answer it. But on the website! So others can see it too!
RACHEL: Hi! Wow. I’m just back already. I just wanted to thank everyone. Thank you so much. I’m actually in the same storm as Archie. Because Archie and I live in the same city. So it has been really special, feeling like we’re all going through this together, as it’s really Biblical outside right now. Thank you so much. I want to thank again the A+ members who made this possible and everybody who tuned in tonight, to help go through this. I learned so much, and I’m really grateful to Archie. I’m actually definitely using that Smitten Kitten code myself, to grab some of the things Archie mentioned, right after this is over. And just wanted to also — in addition to thanking you for being here, as Archie mentioned, we’re planning a few more installments of the series, and are hoping to kind of improve and expand it, as time goes on. If you have any thoughts, suggestions, if you have any feedback about what you’ve already seen, anyone you would like to suggest working with us in the future, any thoughts on other types of content you would like to see on Autostraddle, related to this, or if you have other questions you would like to see covered in either a workshop or on the website, please just let me know. I’m Rachel. I’m the managing editor at Autostraddle, and you can email me directly at Rachel@Autostraddle.com. And we will see you again, I hope, for the next installment in the series next month. I can’t release details yet, but I believe that we’ll be able to see very soon. Thank you so much for being here, everyone. I really appreciate your time and your support. And thank you so much to Archie.
(applause)
Goodnight, everyone!
(meow!)
And goodnight from my cat!
Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Osé 2
Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re reviewing Lora DiCarlo’s Osé 2.
Lora DiCarlo made news in 2019 when CES awarded — and then revoked — the 2019 Innovations Award Honoree in Robotics and Drones for their adult toy The Osé. Since then they company has developed a whole line of luxury sex toys in partnership with Cara Delevingne as their co-owner and creative advisor. The Osé got a makeover and is now the The Osé 2 – a dual-stimulating vibrator meant to “mimic the best kinds of human touch.”
I was thrilled to try out The Osé 2. At $290, it is officially the most expensive sex toy I have reviewed. More exciting than that though, is that it really is a unique design unlike any other on the market. The only other sex toy that pairs air pressure technology with internal sensation is the much less customizable Womanizer Duo. The Osé 2 design, while cumbersome, is remarkable in both shape and sensation and the ability to tailor the toy specifically for your body.
The Osé 2 is made up of two different components: the internal vibrator and the external air pressure head (which is essentially The Baci) connected by a bendable wand. The internal bit is meant to press against your G-spot and has a moving bit that is meant to mimic the coveted “come hither motion” that we all love so much.
This toy is quiet, waterproof, and the buttons are easy enough to use and understand. With many functions and patterns, it really is a customizable toy! However, just because it’s customizable doesn’t mean it works well. Freckle’s mantra, “sometimes…things that are expensive…are worse” echoed in my mind as I struggled to use this toy.
This review of The Baci really covers it all when it comes to the air pressure portion of this toy. It’s strong, it’s quiet but it’s awkward to fit against your bod and gets even more complicated when trying to use the internal bit simultaneously.
The Osé 2 comes with instructions of how to make this work for you. First, find your G-spot. Then, find your “G-spot bend” and after that your “clitoral bend.” This is where it started to fall apart for me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the G-spot to go exactly where I wanted it to go while simultaneously getting the air-pressure vibrator against my body. With lots of lube, it felt like a puzzle of inserting, adjusting, taking it out, adjusting, inserting, adjusting, and so forth. Which gets me to my next point: maybe use this toy solo first. I’m not a very patient person, especially when it comes to my orgasms, and this toy requires a little more perseverance than a typical vibrator.
So let’s get to the good stuff: Did this make me cum? Yeah, I guess it did! The air pressure is strong and did its job, despite not being able to get it to adjust to sit on my body the way I wanted it to. The internal vibrator has a little robotic ball that moves up and down with a ton of variations. You can have short quick strokes, long slow strokes, and various patterns. I am not opposed to a robotic finger getting me off – please, I want technology to go there, but was this actually mimicking the come hither motion as advertised? I don’t know. For folks who like subtle finger motions, this could very well do the job for you. For those who like a fist rammed inside of you, this sensation will probably be too slight to enjoy. Once inserted, my muscles contracted so much it was hard to tell if I was feeling it at all. I couldn’t tell if my orgasm was enhanced by the finger sensation or not. Maybe just the pressure of something being pressed against my G-spot was helping me get off – but I have a suspicion it was neither and the orgasm was brought on by the air pressure doing it’s job.
The Osé 2 claims it can be used with partners. One can use the internal bit vaginally or anally while the other partner uses the air pressure side. But then what? You sit still until you both come since grinding or moving could dislodge the toy from it’s precarious location? With all the adjusting that takes place, The Osé 2 feels more like a toy to be used for a luxurious and slow night alone than a romp with a partner.
For a sex toy that’s priced almost at $300, I expected more. For those that have the funds and want a luxury experience, well, there’s enough positive reviews out there that could warrant a purchase. If you know you love air-pressure toys, if you know you love internal pressure, then perhaps Osé 2 is the perfect toy for you to combine your two true loves. While it didn’t work for me, there’s no doubt in my mind that this innovative shape could work for others. With new toys coming out frequently, I have faith the company will continue to enhance their products.