This Is How We Live, No F*cks to Give: KC Danger’s Guide To Not Giving a F*ck

While “I don’t give a fuck” is usually regarded as a dismissive and potentially offensive remark of nonchalance, it has also become my personal mantra of living. And although not giving a fuck about anything may cause a serious lack of productivity and occasional bouts of unfriendliness, I am slowly but surely learning that it’s not just about not giving a fuck, but rather where and when it is proper for the fucks to be distributed. Come on this journey with me, through no fucks: 2011.

But why shouldn’t we give a fuck, you ask. Don’t we need to. Aren’t these fucks what keeps things in order? Doesn’t the global exchange of fucks and no-fucks make the world go round? Don’t I have a rent to fucking pay? What will happen now to the New York Fuck Exchange?

Stop.

If you are asking these questions, you are already giving too much of a fuck. You see, we are all given a certain amount of fucks to give in one lifetime, and it is up to us as individuals to determine how to distribute them (trust me, I’m a doctor of fuck-giving). Some people call these ‘priorities.’ I call them ‘fucks.’ Improper fuck-distribution leads to such things as unnecessary stress, feelings of futility, existential crises, bad hair days, and perhaps even Seasonal Affective Disorder. In this article, I will seek to teach you proper distribution technique so that you and your loved ones can stop giving ’em (like that) and have more time to give them…like that. Let’s begin.

1. Learn How to Properly Distribute Your Fucks

Tegan and Sara, if you’re reading this right now, I want to request that you record a version of “Where Does the Good Go?” called “Where Do the Fucks Go?” It wouldn’t have to be very elaborate, it would just be like, “Where do you go with your broken heart in tow/What do you do with the leftover…fucks.” If proper fuck-distribution is executed, there will, in fact, be some leftovers. The trick is stepping back for a second and determining whether or not what you’re worrying about is worth your time. Is there a bigger picture?

Example:

I just accidentally bought the wrong kind of cigarettes. They were a little expensive and a little too strong and supposedly they are made for coke heads.

Wrong fucks to give:

“I just spent $10 on something I’m not going to use”
“…Should I smoke them anyway even though I don’t like them?”
“Do I look like a cocaine addict by association?”

Right fucks to give:

“How are my lungs feeling today?”
“How can I improve good lung-feelings in the future?”
“Could I save money if I quit or cut back?”

There are good fucks to give. And if you stick to your fucks, they’ll be beneficial in the long run.

2. All Fucks Must Be Consensual

First, tell that to the GOP. Then, remember that you are in charge of what you care about. That means you do you, girl. YOU DO YOU. When the world tries to load your arms with things you don’t care about, you turn around and you say “Yo, I can’t carry no more of these fucks, y’all!”

A lesbian told me that a lesbian told her, “Stop fucking with women. Focus on school, and getting a good job. Bitches love money. You need to provide.”

If you want to be a baller so you can provide for your woman and pop bottles and buy nice things for your cat, then this is something you should give a fuck about.

If you don’t, then you can amend it to something like this, as said lesbian later did: “Bitches want someone who is independent and focused. Which I am.”

Sometimes the world tells you that you’re not pretty/handsome or you’re not doing enough or that you’re not successful without money, but you know what’s important to you, or you’re figuring it out. Queer lady poet Andrea Gibson said “I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror on a day you’re feeling good. I wanna know what you see in the mirror on a day a day you’re feeling bad. I wanna know the first person who ever taught you your beauty could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass.”

Translation: Ain’t no one taking your fucks if you don’t wanna give ’em.

Set them goals. Do what you want ’cause I know you can do it well.

3. Give Fucks…Like That

This is here because an article that uses the word ‘fuck’ so many times should obviously have a reference to sex and/or masturbation. Go ahead, have an orgasm. Give someone else one. This is about sharing. I’ll wait. I wasn’t kidding when I said you do you. Or her. DON’T STOP GET IT GET IT.

Fuck Yo’ Mean Mug
So 50 Cent and Soulja Boy have this song called “Mean Mug,” and I think it’s actually about popping gats and fornicating with hos or something like that (see above) but I like to think that it’s about staying positive in the face of adversity. Also, for a really long time, I thought they were saying “Fuck your meme up,” which I thought was surprisingly hilarious and relevant. But they weren’t.

The point is, don’t let the haters get you down. Haters gonna hate, it’s in their job description. Do not, I repeat, do not give a fuck about your haters. Whether your primary hater is your boss, your client, your customer, your mom, your crazy ex-girlfriend, or your crazy ex-girlfriend’s mom, just remember, you don’t have time for that. You’re out there doin’ you and maybe doin’ some other people, and they just need to stop being so concerned about it.

For instance, here is a conversation I imagine at least once a day:

Me: Wait, so, you really don’t know who killed Jenny?
Ilene Fucking Chaiken: Nope.
Me: Really?
IFC: Nope, I really don’t.
Me: Was it maybe Sounder II?
IFC: Maybe, I’m really not sure.
Me: Wow, that’s…that’s really terrible. How can you do that? How can you leave us like that?
IFC: Katrina, my apprentice, do you see that box across the room? Go and open it. What’s inside?
Me: Nothing, it’s empty.
IFC: Exactly. That’s the box where I store all the fucks I give.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Fuck It Up

I know how it feels. That burdensome feeling of caring way too much about way too little. That horrifying moment where things are going well, and suddenly one little thing goes wrong and you feel ALL THE FUCKS rushing into the room all at once. All at once! I shudder even now at the thought. But sometimes there’s just nothing to be done about it. It’s like crying over spilled milk: what’s done is done, there’s nothing left to do but clean it up and apologize to the cow.

Seriously though, accepting that shit happens or that shit happened and letting it go is absolutely life-changing if you can stick to it. In keeping with the theme, the great philosopher Kanye West says, “Fuck the past, make love to the future.” And even though he sometimes says things like “I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle” and/or “Put the pussy in the sarcophagus,” the man is right.

Let’s examine a case.

Perhaps you made a New Year’s resolution like, “go to the gym more” or “spend less time looking at pictures of cats on the Internet.” It’s February now, and maybe you’re in bed under eight comforters in your gym clothes looking at pictures of cats on the Internet.

Giving a fuck: I am a failure. Where is my pint of ice cream? There’s no point in trying to do this. I’m just going to sit here with my girlfriend, The Internet, and become an e-cat lady.

Not giving a fuck: That cat looks great in that hoodie. I bet I look pretty great in this gym hoodie. Fuck New Year’s resolutions, I’m gonna start today!

So what are we talking about when we talk about not giving a fuck?

Giving no fucks is more than blowing things off. It means living outside boundaries. I’m not going to tell you to blow off all your obligations or forget your priorities, but I am going to ask you to stop giving a fuck about what’s bringing you down or holding you back. Do not give a fuck about the following:

1. Failing or taking risks
2. Worrying about expectations
3. Being afraid to question things or people or even yourself
4. Not knowing
5. Embarrassing yourself
6. Your shoes not matching your belt (but big up if they do!)
7. Being different (everyone gives a fuck in their own way)

And don’t put too much pressure on yourself! Let’s be real here, no matter what decisions you make, no one will promise you that things will work out in just ‘that way.’ There will always be outside factors, and sometimes ‘it gets better’ is something that’s only relevant when trying to live through your hangover. Maybe it does get better. Sometimes it doesn’t. Don’t give a fuck about things you can’t control.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you limes, do tequila shots. When life tries to give you fucks, you slap those fucks right out life’s hands and you tell life:

5. This is how we live, no fucks to give.

Good luck, fuck-givers. Y’all are beautiful.

Ilene Chaiken Drops Medical Show, Finds New CBS Crime Drama To Ruin (I Mean Run)

Remember back in November when we told you that Mama Chaiken was all set to produce that medical pilot, Rhodes to Recovery, with the Two and a Half Men producers? Well, guess what!? Per ushe, she saw something shiny, dropped that plan and is now supposed to executive produce the CBS drama pilot, Hail Mary, with the show’s creator, Jeff Wadlow and Joel Silver.

Her new toy, Hail Mary, “is a buddy P.I. show set in Atlanta that focuses on a suburban single mom who teams up with a streetwise hustler to solve crimes.”

Rhodes to Recovery is just the latest in a growing list of aborted post-L Word Chaiken projects.  Like, whatever happened to Chaiken’s CW drama, Confessions of a Back Up Dancer? Or the other CBS show she was supposed to develop based on The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane about “a young woman who realizes she descends from a long line of witches dating back to 1692 Salem?” The number of questions I have for Ilene grows by the day.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, The Real L Word is filming season 2, focusing on Whitney and her friends and everyone is sworn to secrecy about who exactly those friends are. No word on the chicken’s involvement so far, but I’m sure she’ll pop in just in time for those weirdass episode intros to ask Whitney, “How long do you last during sex?” and “What does a lesbian taste like?”

Your Turn to Help Some Helpless Queers: How About a Little Formspring in Your Friday?

It’s 2011 and you guys still don’t know what you’re doing with your lives. Unfortunately, neither do we. I mean for real some of us can’t even make instant mashed potatoes and/or ride bikes, I don’t know why you thought we could tell you whether or not your best friend also has secret lesbian love feelings for you.

As you know, Riese & Laneia have been dutifully answering your questions on the autostraddle tumblr via formspring for some time now. Alex and Crystal have recently joined up.

Today, Riese, Alex and Crystal have all contributed the formspring questions that have most recently made them throw their hands up in the air in helplessness. (Laneia is on internet vaycay, don’t panic, she’s coming back.)

We’re hoping today that maybe you’ll get lucky, though, and someone else on the internet will be able to answer the questions we could not answer! Lesbians, bisexuals, transpeople, queermos and women/womyn/wimmin of all kinds: help a sister out. What can you tell these lost souls?

1. I feel like it’s been a long time since I have met a coupled lesbian who doesn’t think I’m after her girlfriend? Look, I hardly like ANYBODY, doubt your girlfriend is my soulmate dude. Is this a thing? I dunno, it feels insulting, thaaat’s all.

2. I’ve been on and off with this girl since we were 12. I’ll be going off to college soon. She’s staying in LA. I’ve already gotten accepted to Cal State LA and Chico, but LA doesn’t have my 1st choice of a major. Should I give her up for my future?

3. I thought she was perfect and great but she’s a kleptomaniac. Should this even matter? Because it scares me a little bit.

4. If a musician is good, but as a person they are not so good, is it wrong to buy their album and financially support the life they lead? It just encourages them, does it not? See: Mister Kanye West.

5. Interviewing for a live-in nanny job. I’ll have a studio with it’s own entrance, still way more intimate than past babysitting… What/when/should I even say anything ever about the “i’m gay” thing? I live in the Bay Area, so they’re presumably liberal.

6. I have been with my boyfriend seven years, I think I’ve fallen in love with lesbian best friend. I am confused and my dad is a raving homophobe. Boyfriend wants house and family, I thought I wanted this too, almost as confused as I am scared

7. MY HEART IS BREAKING! Engineering Science at UofT or Chem+Bio Engineering at UBC?! OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN.

8. Is it ever okay to tell people how fucked up you are? It seems like a really shitty excuse. But what else is there to do, just let them find out on their own?? Aaaaaaugh.

9. So this cute gay girl with an adorable haircut showed up at my high school this year. We were flirting today and talking about how awesome Tegan and Sara are. I am now burning her a CD of my favorite T&S songs. Tegan and Sara = lesbian foreplay?

10. I just ate 8 clementines in a row, out of pure boredom. I am sad. But I don’t know why. Why am I sad?

11. Riese, all my friends are ironic hipsters. Everything we say is a joke. How can I tell if one of them actually fancies me or if she is just expressing her platonic love? And how can I make my feelings known to her?

12.I cannot stand my roommate’s boyfriend, and he is here ALL the time. What should I do? I get so annoyed when he is here.

13. I’m beginning to question my religion. My grandma is gonna be so pissed but I’m pretty sure I don’t believe in god. Not in a catholic sense anyway. How should I tell my grandma that I’m not gonna keep going to church anymore?

14. I’ve been told that the delicious candies known as “smarties” in Canada are not the same as “smarties” in the US. Can you describe to me what a US “smartie” is? Is it a Canadian “rocket” candy?

15. please tell me how to get over a girl (same circle of friends) that i’ve been with for the last 9 years? she’s my first ever gf… we’ve been living together for the last 4 yrs and now.. well.. let’s just say she found someone else that’s not me.

16. i found a cute lesbian girl on my college network when i was browsing on f.bk. i havent seen her in the (small) lgbt scene in our city. considering i dont know her, it would be hard to meet coincidently. would it be weird to f.bk msg her?

17. okay so, in the most general of terms, me and my ex-girlfriend/current best friend share an addiction. not to a substance, per se. just to, our circumstances. the unhappiness? an addiction to making bad choices? i don’t know, but i feel a need to grow

18. Why is it that only boys return my calls and emails but not the girls I talk to?

19. I am so extremely a top. My enjoyment of sex comes completely from making the other girl feel whatever I want her to. Because of this, I have never been able to masturbate, since I need a chick’s reactions to keep me going. Tips?

20. I’m 25 and I just moved out of my parents’ house a couple weeks ago. I’m hoping that by having my own place I will be encouraged to come out to my family. I live in the Midwest and I’m terrified of my parents’ reaction. Advice?

21. at what point do you talk about having safe sex with a girl? especially if it’s just a hook-up? and how common is it to practice safe sex – would she expect it?

GLAAD Says SNL’s Estro-Maxx Skit is Transphobic and Even Less Funny Than SNL Usually Is These Days

If you are one of those people who a) has a TV and b) watches Saturday Night Live even though Tina Fey isn’t on it anymore, you may have seen an SNL sketch this week advertising a false product called “Estro-Maxx.” You may also have flipped a shit over how transphobic it was, and consequently either changed the channel or kept watching even though you were disgusted because wasn’t this the one with Nicki Minaj?

As is its custom, GLAAD has issued a demand for an apology, and started an online petition for Saturday Night Live to respond. Their statement reads:

In the January 29 episode of Saturday Night Live, NBC broadcast a dangerous and blatantly anti-tansgender segment which they called ‘Estro-Maxxx’ – the punch line of which was the lives of countless transgender people across the country.

The piece was a mock commercial for estrogen replacement therapy and featured men with facial hair wearing dresses, meant to represent transgender women. This segment cannot be defended as “just a joke” because there was no “joke” to speak of. The attempted comedy of the skit hinges solely on degrading the lives and experiences of transgender women. Holding people up for ridicule simply on the basis of their identity fuels a hurtful climate and puts people in danger, especially given how infrequently the media shines a fair and accurate light on the lives of transgender people. “The violence, discrimination and harassment that transgender Americans experience each and every day is no laughing matter,” said GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios. “Saturday Night Live is a touchstone of American comedy, but Saturday’s unfunny skit sends a destructive and dehumanizing message.”

See that? What they did there? They made a logical and solid point about when things are funny and when things are not funny. This is a disappointing story in terms of the sickness of our national climate and the casual cruelty of our media culture and the willful ignorance of The Average American, but these things will only change when people understand WHY these things aren’t funny, or why it’s different when the joke is at the expense of marginalized groups.

From “Is GLAAD Humorless? Is it Just a Joke?” (the whole thing is worth a read):

From a pure script standpoint, this sketch is not at all anti-transgender and is actually rather respectful. In fact, some transgender people might agree with lines like “nature got in the way.” But the fact that the sketch gets all of its laughs from visual gags, aside from Brittain’s line, undermines that respect entirely. In fact, the respectful dialogue almost makes the sketch even worse, and here’s why.

By having the actors play these transgender characters more like straight men, this sketch is telegraphing how it really feels about transgender people; they’re actors, pretenders, and ‘men in dresses.’ Two of the characters even have obvious facial hair, one of whom has purposefully groomed his into a mustache. And by playing their appearances for laughs, the sketch is telling the audience that no matter how seriously transgender people take themselves, that doesn’t mean you have to take them seriously.

It’s not “just a joke,” and it’s not that GLAAD doesn’t “get the joke,” because there was not a single ‘joke’ in this entire sketch, unless you think the appearance or acceptance of a transgender person is funny.  SNL should be better than this.

COMEDY should be better than this.

Is GLAAD overreacting? Opposing Views says no:

“Yes, it’s true that SNL pokes fun at people of all shapes and sizes, races and genders, backgrounds and political leanings. But they poke fun at their behaviors or their mannerisms or the way they react in certain situations. They don’t poke fun at them just for being who they are.

From a really basic creative standpoint — a spoof has to point out the ridiculousness of the original — like the idea of spreading a magic potion on your head to grow hair overnight, or that the best way to get skinny is to hold a vibrating weight in your hand. But the fact that you need to take Estrogen more than once a day isn’t really problematic, ridiculous or funny and furthermore, it’s never advertised on television! And if the idea is to poke fun of ads for bio-women’s estrogen pills, it seems like the more effective ad would be more akin to this ad spoof of Annuale and have nothing to do with transpeople at all.

An apt point to end on, from The Opposing Views article:

But just because something makes people laugh does not make it comedy. (There were lots of people laughing when I was shoved into a row of lockers or knocked down the stairs in junior high. I don’t think any of you would call that act, in and of itself, comedy.)

Formspring Friday: Save a Lesbian For Less Than the Cost of a Cup of Coffee

You have some questions and, as we’ve mentioned before, sometimes we just don’t have the skills / knowledge / adderall to answer them in a timely fashion. So Laneia and Riese have once again emptied about 5% of their collective 1,300 unanswered formspring questions (we’re not exaggerating) in hopes that these women can find the solace they seek without us having to think too hard. You can ask Riese anything (except for questions you’ve already asked Laneia) and you can ask Laneia anything (except for questions you’ve already asked Riese) via these clever boxes on our tumblr.

26 Formspring Questions For You to Answer:

1.
Q: Should i switch my facebook to interested in women? I’m not sure if i want my old high school friends to know/my mom and brother to find out somehow. But i really want this cute queer girl to know cuz frankly id like to hit that.

2.
Q: I identify and mostly present as butch but am afraid to get an alternative lifestyle haircut because my face is round and chubby, and will look fatter without hair framing it??? Any ideas?

3.
Q: I recently started dating a vegan girl. I’m mostly a vegetarian, but I’m not sure if I should go the extra step of switching to eating vegan. I support her veganism, and love eating vegan meals she cooks, but is it too soon/clingy to go the next step?

4.
Q: we were best friends, and then we fucked, and then we were long-distance best friends who fucked on school breaks, and since thanksgiving- nothing. no calls. no messages. do i call and risk no answer? or what if there is an answer? what do i get? HELP

5.
Q: I have three weeks to travel anywhere in Europe. I don’t like big cities. Where should I go?

6.
Q: i have a high school reunion coming up in a few weeks. i was excited for a while (i loved my tiny free-spirit HS), but have realized that i can’t go because my ex will be expecting me to go and will show up. SHE’S RUINING MY LIFE AND WON’T LISTEN TO ME WTF

7.
Q: do americans really wear shoes inside? i hear its a thing. is it a thing?

8.
Q: I’m a straight girl, who I guess you could definitely say is “bi-curious”. Do you have any suggestions on how I could explore being “bi-curious”? How I could meet gay girls without freaking them out or something? It seems impossible.

9.
Q: I met a boy. He started acting like he had a crush on me. I made it clear I was gay. Our friendship continued. Today he walked 20 minutes out of his way (in a blizzard) to walk me home. Do I need to do something?

10.
Q: I have a partner, she is nice/AMAZINGFANTASTICAL, we have been together for 3 years-ish and live together. I want her to meet my grandparents. My grandparents like to watch Bill O’asshat on fox news. Dilemma. Advice?

11.
Q: My girlfriend attracts all the scared, confused, gay girls around us. She talks to them and helps them and they all fall in love with her. I love her for helping them like she helped me, and I know I shouldn’t get jealous, but I do. Am I a bad person?

12.
Q: My girlfriend is wearing the wrong size bra, but she refuses to get measured or get a different one because she thinks getting a bigger size means she is fat and her mother won’t like it (although she is 20) . How do I get her to wear something that fits?

13.
Q: My fiancee and I are really feminine. Like dancing to Ke$ha (albeit ironically) in lacy underwear feminine. But then when we go out together holding hands people don’t think we’re a couple which just fucking annoys me. How do I lez up without butching up?

14.
Q: did i fall in love with a player or was it my fault we never dated cause i didn’t take the initiative and go for it?

15.
Q: I’m not physically attracted to her at all, but she’s nice and funny, and she says all the right things to make me melt and chuckle. What do I do?

16.
Q: there’s a girl I’ve been seeing casually, she just told me that she’s been seeing this other girl and wants to be exclusive with her. Should I back off or should I fight for her? I really like her.

17.
Q: There’s brilliant, beautiful girl in my English class. HUGE crush. A guy in class said she wants to hang out. He has my # but hasn’t set anything up yet. When I talk to her she seems disinterested / aloof. Do I wait or talk to her directly w/o his help?

18.
Q: hey, could you recommend me some books? i’m a somewhat hipster teenage dyke. kthnxbye :)

19.
Q: background: i graduated hs this year. i’m going to college & living at home, while working a min. wage job. situation: a coworker said i’m scornful & arrogant. i didn’t know i come off this way. i don’t want to come off this way. help?

20.
Q: Why is it that only boys return my calls and emails but not the girls I talk to?

21.
Q: There’s this other girl I go to school who’s a soft butch, and I think she has the hots for me. We’re really good friends, but she takes it too far sometimes. How do I tell her I’m not interested?

22.
Q: ~4 times/day, I freak out when I remember I’m gay and different, and I will have to continuously come out, and I can’t go back since people now know I’m gay. (Unless I move far away.) What if it’s not true? What if it is? Does this feeling ever go away?

23.
Q: I was watching Margaret Cho on youtube, & she said something about lesbians and sign language. Is this a thing? Did I miss something…?

24.
Q: why is the L word so terrible? more importantly, why can’t I stop watching?

25.
Q: Oh no. 4 years with a woman i love and now i fall for a straight girl. Help. Just help. What do i do? How can i do this without so much despair?

26.
Q: Recently came out to myself but my dad has threatened throw me out if I am gay, which of course I am. My stepmom thinks its a phase and that I should seek medical help. What do I do? I don’t wana be homeless at 17.

OKAY HELP THESE 26 LESBIANS.

Sarah’s Team Pick: Straphanger Fiction

This tumblr is a bit different than most. The concept of Straphanger Fiction is simple, but fun: every morning, the writer takes a photo of someone on her morning commute and then writes a short piece of fiction based on it. Consider it a mildly voyeuristic way to get a daily dose of creative writing!

Ex-Lesbian Mom on the Run: Lisa Miller Violates Custody Ruling, Vanishes

ISABELLA HAS TWO MOMMIES, KINDA: Lisa Miller is pulling a Bette Porter except unlike Bette Porter, she is wrong & illegal and not the hottest woman of the year.

To recap: Lisa Miller and Janet Jenkins entered in a civil union in 2000. Lisa Miller is the biological mother of Isabella, who was conceived via artificial insemination after the civil union had been finalized. In 2003, the two broke up and Miller fled to Virginia in order to avoid the custody order which granted Jenkins visitation. Once she arrived in Virginia, Lisa Miller announced that she renounced homosexuality and now considered it a sin.

Because Lisa Miller refused to allow visitation, Judge William Cohen of Rutland Family Court in Vermont ordered that Miller hand Isabella over to Jenkins on Friday January 1st, 2010. LezGet Real reports:

The whereabouts of Lisa Miller cannot be verified currently. She has not answered her phone and does not appear to have had contact with her lawyers in close to a month. Jenkin’s lawyer, Sarah Star, stated that she hoped that Ms Miller was still at her Virginia home. “My client is asking, almost pleading, Ms. Miller to not make it harder than it is. It’s a difficult transition but as adults she is asking her to not make it any harder than it needs to be,” according to Star.

The filings regarding the stay talked about the difficulties involved in the transfer. According to Miller’s lawyers, “The potential effect of any change in Isabella’s housing, school, community and environment could be to ‘induce devastating trauma.’” Liberty Council lawyer Rena Lindevaldsen was quoting a doctor retained to testify on Miller’s behalf. Ms Lindevaldsen also claimed that Jenkins was disdainful of Miller’s religious beliefs, and that Isabella attended a Christian school and held the same beliefs. These beliefs included that homosexuality was a sin.

So if you see an ex-gay asking for a f*cking sippy cup in Tijuana … no really this is serious business. Perhaps she is being hidden away by Exodus International.

ARGENTINA: Latin America had it’s first official gay wedding yesterday. An Argentinian couple who tried to get married in Buenos Aires last month decided to head farther south to Ushauaia rather than wait for the capital city’s courts to allow their marriage.

Technically, gay marriage is illegal according to Argentina’s civil code, but it isn’t unconstitutional.

Correspondents say the governor exploited this grey area and gave the two men a special dispensation. (@bbcnews)

SCOUTS: An LAPD youth program ended it’s association with the Boy Scouts because of the scouts’ anti-gay policies: “It’s bittersweet in the sense that the Boy Scouts or Learning for Life have been part of this for a long time–in name only–but the LAPD is committed to a better program and we can do that without having discrimination,” Police Commissioner Alan Skobin said. (@edgeboston)

GAY MARSHAL: The Senate confirmed Obama’s pick for the first gay U.S. marshal. Sharon Lubinski is also the first female marshal in Minnesota. (@latimes)

SMEAR TACTICS: An Illinois race for a Senate seat has turned dirty. One candidate in the GOP primary, U.S. Rep. Andy Martin, is trying to hurt his opponent by spreading probs false gay rumors in an attack ad.

“Illinois Republican leader Jack Roeser says there is a ‘solid rumor that Kirk is a homosexual,’ ” Martin says in the ad. “Roeser suggests that Kirk is part of a Republican Party homosexual club. Lake County Illinois Republican leader Ray True says Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals. Mark Kirk should tell Republican voters the truth.”

Ooh, a homosexual club! I bet they play Glambert at their meetings! Oh wait, they’re Republicans. I don’t know what Republicans listen to.

But seriously, I’m really tired of gayness being used as an insult. Way to set an example, Martin! Also, Kirk is in the military right now, so that ad could have serious consequences beyond his candidacy. Not cool. (@chicagosun-times)

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4. Advertise:

If you’re trying to sell a thing to a bunch of lesbian/bisexual ladies, then you should probably do it at the world’s largest independently owned lesbian website. Seriously, that would make the most sense for you like business-wise: Advertise with us! We work with large companies as well as individual humans with a thing they want to tell people about.

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Sunshine, Rainbows and Unicorns

I’ve decided to remove the content of this post [in which I told everyone who bitches at me here, on TLWO, on forums and via email that they can Suck It, which I still believe, btw] because I feel it is ungrateful to the thousands of people who have offered me positive support and encouragement, and to all the friends I’ve made through this show and the incredible online communities I’ve become a part of. I don’t ever want to seem that I take you all for granted. Quite the opposite — you’ve become my life. You have become the way that I live. To us — and particularly to Carly & I because the media is our field, so nothing is just a show to us, it really isn’t — we keep it fun even though it is bad right now by critiquing it in a way that we hope is funny. If you don’t think it’s funny, then as I said I suggest you try Two and a Half Men, it might be more up your alley of twat.

My little rant about how this show being bad isn’t just about this show but is about the possibility of future shows can still be found on the TWOP forum and my rant about GLBTQ visibility can be found in the comments of the 606 Recap.

In closing, I would like to share with you my favorite parts of the last few seasons of recapping this show.

I’m putting almost all of my hours & energy & resources right now into making that stuff — the good stuff I’ve gotten out of this show, which is my new friends and connections online and in real life — into a project that I hope will reflect everything positive about our community and encourage intelligent, responsible, entertaining and progressive discourse & art. So you’ll hear more about that next week, and I hope you’ll be as excited about it as I am.

In the meantime, don’t you dare fucking bitch at me, I will cut your fucking tits off.