The 25 Most Popular Autostraddle Posts of 2023
As we do every year, it is time to take a look back at what the largest amount of readers wanted to take a look at in the year that is just not concluding. The past few trips around the sun have garnered similar results with our high-traffic posts dominated by stories that tapped into the soul of Autostraddle fandom (L Word recaps, lesbian celebrity gossip) and/or performed very well on search engines (streaming guides, lists of gay athletes). And one very memorable piece of great advice.
25. Autostraddle March Madness 2023: Trope-y Wives – Final Four, by Natalie, March 2023
24. Janelle Monáe’s “Lipstick Lover” Music Video Has Fully Melted Our Brains, by Carmen and the Speakeasy, May 2023
23. Bravo Dyke Weighs In on the Ariana, Sandoval, and Raquel “Vanderpump Rules” Scandal, by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, March 2023
22. Meet The Queer Women Contestants of “Survivor” Season 44, by Anya Richkind, March 2023
21. L Word Generation Q Episode 308 Recap: Quality Time Salts All Wounds, by Riese, January 2023
20. Sarah Paulson and Tig Notaro’s Lesbian Party Bus, Explained, by Riese, March 2023
19. What Are the Chaotic Queers of “The Ultimatum: Queer Love” Getting Up to Now?, by Riese, June 2023
18. The 100 Best Lesbian, Bisexual and Queer Sci-Fi and Fantasy TV Shows of All Time, by Valerie (Updated January 2023)
17. The L Word Generation Q Episode 309 Recap: Quiet Before The Firestorm, by Riese, January 2023
16. 40 Lesbian, Queer & Bisexual (LGBTQ+) Amazon Prime Video Original TV Shows, by Riese, November 2023
15. Quiz: Which Dungeons & Dragons Class Is Your Sexuality?, by Heather, April 2023
14. “Ted Lasso” Confirms That Bisexual Character’s Bisexuality!, by Heather, April 2023
13. The 40 Best LGBTQ+ TV Shows on HBO Max With Lesbian, Queer or Trans Characters, by Riese (Updated periodically)
12. The Rumors Are True: Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris Are Dating, by Riese, October 2023
11. Quiz: Which Bottoms Character Are You?, by Kayla, September 2023
10. 25 Lesbian Movies on Hulu That You Can Watch Right Now For Fun If You Want, by Riese (Updated periodically)
9. 37 Christmas Movies With Lesbian, Bisexual, Queer or Trans Characters, by Riese (Updated December 2023)
8. The L Word Generation Q Episode 310 Recap: Looking Full Steam Ahead I Guess, by Riese (January 2023)
7. WNBA Superstar Jonquel Jones Gets Engaged to Her Girlfriend, Looks Happier Than Ever, by Heather (April 2023)
6. The 50 Best Lesbian Movies Of All Time, by Drew Burnett Gregory (Updated January 2023)
5. 60 Best Queer and Lesbian Netflix TV Shows, by Riese (Updated periodically)
4. All 100+ Gay Players and Coaches in the 2023 Women’s World Cup, by Natalie, July 2023
3. Quiz: Which Barbie Are You? by Heather, July 2023.
2. 25 Streaming Movies With Hot Lesbian Sex Scenes, by Drew and Riese (Updated October 2023)
1. You Need Help: You Fat-Shamed Your Beautiful Girlfriend, by Heather Hogan. January 2023.
“…gaining and losing weight, over and over and over, is part of nearly everyone’s life. It is so inconsequential in the vast tapestry of existence, and if getting fatter over the course of nine short months throws you into this kind of tailspin where you find yourself not only unattracted to her, but you feel honor-bound to tell her so, how are you going to handle it when the really hard stuff happens? When one of you gets sick or disabled? When one of you becomes consumed by seemingly endless grief after the death of a loved one? When one of you loses your job? When money trouble strikes? When you lose your home? When one of you unearths a trauma you hid away even from yourself?”
Celebrate the Holigays in Style With 30% Off In the Autostraddle Store All Weekend!
Hello my friends! As we approach the season widely known as “the holidays” and everybody is getting their Black Friday – Cyber Monday sale on, you know that we here at Autostraddle are gonna be participating in the typical way which is “giving you a discount on the merchandise in our beautiful store.” A+ members have a special code for a 50% discount (there’s another post on the website with that code) but if you’re not an A+ member then this post is for you!!
With the code YULEGET30, you’ll get 30% off of just about anything your little heart desires! Whether you are looking to build queer futures…
Build Queer Futures Tee – $26 $18
or be queer as fuck but also cozy…
Queer As Fuck Hoodie – $48 $33
or deliver the most perfect Secret Santa Gift ever with these Queer Magnetic Words…
Autostraddle Queer Magnetic Words – $18 $12.60
The sale goes until Monday, at which point these unbeatable prices will go back to their normal prices!
GET YOURSELF TO THE AUTOSTRADDLE STORE RIGHT NOW!
Autostraddle Before the Tipping Point: A Trip Through the Archive
This piece is part of our 2023 Trans Awareness Week coverage. Our Senior Editor, Drew Burnett Gregory, felt like cis people were plenty aware of trans people in 2023 thank you very much, so this week trans writers will be taking us back into recent history — specially post-Stonewall (1970) to pre-Tipping Point (2013).
When I came out as trans in 2017, I knew Autostraddle as a publication where trans people were welcome. Pieces from trans writers had popped up on my Twitter feed and, once I knew to look, there was an entire archive that helped me better understand myself.
This year for Trans Awareness Week, I wanted us to focus on recent trans history. The parameters I set were post-Stonewall (1970) to pre-Tipping Point (2013). As far as I’m concerned, cis people are too aware of trans people in 2023, but that awareness is often accompanied by the ignorant idea that trans people are new. That’s why this recent historical time period felt so essential to me. Not only have trans people been around in distant history — we’ve been around throughout the lives of anyone still living today. That distinction may feel redundant, but I think it’s important to remember.
Once we started thinking about this era, our team realized that Autostraddle itself is part of that history. Founded in 2009, there was half a decade of trans coverage — and lack of trans coverage — before Laverne Cox appeared on the cover of Time.
I’m fascinated by the way individuals and publications can grow. Rather than look to the past to retroactively prove someone or somewhere is bad, I think it’s worthwhile to observe how people and places get better. When I came out in 2017, this site had positive connotations to me. But that environment didn’t happen by accident. It was the result of trans people changing this place for the better and cis people welcoming that change.
There’s a clear journey from Riese as an ally criticizing the treatment of Max on The L Word to trans-related news stories to a photoshoot of a band with one transmasc member to trans writers getting space to answer 101 questions to, finally, trans writers getting to write complex, personal, and unique pieces like their cis counterparts.
All of that is worth revisiting through an archival lens, but I’ve gathered together about two dozen pieces that are especially representative of Autostraddle’s pre-tipping point journey. There are some real gems here, especially in the pieces from trans writers. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: If you’re someone who does not want to read terms used for trans people from 2009 to 2013 then this piece isn’t for you! There’s nothing I personally deem offensive included here, but even the way trans people talked out about themselves during these years was different.
Chaz Bono Talks About His Gender On AM TV And We Like It. by Riese (November 2009)
“Now, let’s get to the linguistic violations! The Associated Press sets a bad example with ‘Chaz Bono says beginning the sex-change process to turn him from a woman to a man is ‘the best decision I’ve ever made’ in Chaz Bono: Sex change is his ‘best decision’, a headline that’s repeated by about 200 other newspapers.
We’ve encountered this issue on Autostraddle before and I was surprised that so many people didn’t know ‘sex change’ is passe.”
Trans Photographer Amos Mac: The Autostraddle Interview by Laneia (February 2010)
“Amos: It was a blast working with Margaret (Cho). She is hilarious, warm, wonderful! Rocco and I had met her in October when we were asked to be part of the music video she was directing for the band GIRLYMAN. Margaret wanted the video to consist of queers, trans people, femmes and butches, as the song, ‘Young James Dean,’ is about butch identity, so her vision was to get as many different types of queers as possible in the video. Rocco and I really bonded with her while shooting it. We just really clicked as friends. Now we call her our ‘TranMa’ (a play on the term Grandma) and she calls us her TranSons. She loves OP and as she is an incredibly outspoken person, she was easy to interview and of course fun to photograph.”
Being Trans Is So Hot Right Now, At Least for Celebrities and Models, Kinda by Rachel (December 2010)
“There’s nothing wrong with recognizing the achievements and accomplishments of trans people. Lea T’s career really is inspiring, and attention should be drawn to the careers of women like Connie Fleming and Candy Darling, the trans fashion pioneer of the 1970s. But to write a full-length article gushing over the trans community’s having ‘made it’ because of a few modeling contracts without even acknowledging that from January to June of ‘the year of the transsexual,’ there were reported 93 murders of trans people, and that that’s only a fraction of how many probably really took place, feels like it’s willfully misunderstanding the climate.”
xxboy Meets World by Sebastian (January 2011)
Note: This piece is the start of trans writers getting the space to write their own pieces. Sebastian wrote several more articles over the next year. I love that even in this 101 piece Sebastian is allowed to be as voicey as the other writers on the site.
“When Laneia and Riese first contacted me about writing for Autostraddle, I had a whole bunch of mixed emotions. The fanboy in me who’d read every Real L Word recap pretty religiously had an “OMG THEY LIKE ME?!” moment. The queer in me was honored and excited about the opportunity to write for a site that is so prominent in the world of non-hetero culture. The man in me felt a little out of place and possibly ignored.
The opportunist wondered if this would help me get jobs and/or girlfriends.”
Trans Etiquette 101: No Offense, But That’s Offensive by Sebastian (February 2011)
“7. Do not ask what the person’s birth name was. There is absolutely no reason for you to need to know this and it is likely something this person wants distance from. It is a particularly offensive question when phrased, “What is your REAL name.” After all, Sebastian is my real name and has been since I started asking people to use it.”
Where the Bois Are: Bklyn Boihood is the Future by M.J. (March 2011)
Note: This is a piece about the Bklyn Boihood collective who would go on to write a handful of pieces for Autostraddle.
“Ryann returns with the story of how it all started — the modest, yet inspired beginnings of a very Big Thing: ‘Back in 2009, we were just hanging out at Genesis’ place. We’d been talking about how we don’t really see ourselves represented in a lot of ways. We didn’t see ourselves at the parties we were going to, we didn’t see ourselves in the organizing world, in any sort of medium.’”
What Do You Mean You’re Not Monogamous by Bklyn Boihood (Akwaeke Z Emezi) (March 2011)
Note: Yes, THAT Akwaeke Emezi. I had no idea they’d written for Autostraddle and discovering their pieces was one of the coolest things about this trip through the archive. I also love that this is a piece about non-monogamy, not specifically about transness.
“I never thought of how I handled relationships in terms of monogamy or nonmonogamy, those specific labels. It didn’t occur to me that there was a term for my preferences, and when it did, I freaked out because I thought, “How can someone want to be with me if I can’t give them what makes them happy?” Everyone I’d been involved with deeply wanted monogamy, and they seemed to be part of an overwhelming majority. I didn’t want to not be able to give that to them, but eventually I reached a point where I had to put my foot down, throw my hands up and say it: I don’t want to be monogamous. Never have. Ever. Ever.”
I’m Just Your Typical Urban Hipset Femme Twentysomething Trans Lesbian by Annika (April 2011)
Note: Trans girl lesbians have arrived! Annika wrote a bunch for the site over the next two years. Annika, if you’re reading this, let me buy you dinner whenever we’re in the same city.
“In many ways, I am your typical urban hipster femme twentysomething lesbian: I work for a greentech startup that has nothing to do with my liberal arts degree. I worry about our generation’s internet addiction (mine included). I spend a lot of money on vinyl and concert tickets. I moved to San Francisco last summer, but I’ll never start saying “hella.” I voted for Prop 19. I’m secretly mad that my love of British slang makes me cliché.
Oh, and I’m a transgender former-University-of-Southern-California-Frat-Boy.”
Chaz Bono Doesn’t Speak For Me: Reluctance About the “Reluctant Transgender Role Model” by Oliver Baez Bendorf (May 2011)
“I in no way want to invalidate Chaz’ suffering, or the suffering of any trans person for that matter, but I take issue with the insinuation that our lives are unendurable. There is suffering, yes, but why must that always be the throughline? There’s such a lack of nuance here—it’s not always that neat equation of once I was suffering, but now life is perfect.”
Annika and Sebastian Answer Your Trans* Questions (Part Deux) by Annika (July 2011)
“Q: What happens if/when someone chooses to not fully transition? I mean, that happens sometimes, right? Like if someone can’t afford surgeries or get them for health reasons?
SEBASTIAN: We don’t really use the terminology of ‘full’ transition, because a full transition means different things to different people. Sometimes people don’t have all the surgeries or procedures or medical interventions because of financial reasons, but often times it is because not every trans person needs or wants every type of medical intervention.”
Trans* Characters Are Increasingly Portrayed By, Surprise, Actual Trans* People by Annika (July 2011)
“My only concern is that trans* actors will be restricted to portraying only trans* characters- this would be a shame, because it would both ignore a lot of talent and reduce us to merely our trans* experiences. I can only speak for myself. Being trans is an important part of who I am, it certainly doesn’t define me as a person. So Zooey Deschanel, if you’re looking for a co-starlet for your next film, I’m your gal.”
OPEN THREAD: Trans Day of Remembrance by Annika (November 2011)
Note: Autostraddle articles used to have robust comments sections, so 34 in this thread is not a lot. But it still touched me to see trans people in 2011 gathering at Autostraddle to reflect on Trans Day of Remembrance.
“Today is a reminder that we all must take responsibility for combating transphobia. It’s about making our voices heard and taking a stand against bigotry and hatred. It’s about creating a future in which the next generation of trans* kids can feel safe and proud of who they are.
Until then, we must honor our dead. Please feel free to share your stories and feelings in the comments section below.”
Gender Blender: An Intimate Film About Life Outside the Gender Binary by Vanessa (January 2012)
Note: There were discussions of non-binary identities, especially from Bklyn Boihood, but this still feels like a shift toward normalizing that experience.
“So how do we fight that situation, how do we break the binary, how do we make the world a safe space for other people to express their true genders once we’ve finally got a handle on our own and the confidence to live openly and truthfully? Well if you’re Lauren Lubin, you decide to make a movie about your experience transitioning from female to gender neutral, and you aim to educate the world so that eventually things will change.”
19 Terribly Interesting Tips On Raising a Trans Kid (From a Trans Kid) by Morgan M (April 2012)
“Don’t equate “Mommy I want to wear girls clothes” with “Mommy is the stork going to make a second trip to drop off my vagina?” Just because your child has these feelings doesn’t mean they are trans, genderqueer or simply fabulous. However, they do need the space to figure themselves out, and if you deny them that I guarantee you the feelings will only intensify over time. If you deny them this chance to express themselves in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone, it will only lead to complexes, trust issues and even more identity issues. SPOILER ALERT: everything you do as a parent makes these.”
Sarah McBride: The Autostraddle Interview by Carmen Rios (May 2012)
“I found out her favorite Spice Girl is Ginger (formerly Baby, but who didn’t outgrow Baby?). But I didn’t even have to ask her for Top 5 Words About Coming Out because as soon as we dug in to what it was like for her, she spurted them out.
‘Surreal. But surreal in a good way. Comforting. Liberating and more than anything – empowering,’ she said, leaning back after thinking hard about each one.”
In a Bind Helps Get Trans* Youth Out of One by Maeve (September 2012)
Note: The first comment on this piece is: “Eh… what’s with all the trans stuff lately?” It made me laugh seeing that, because it’s the kind of comments my pieces have received since writing for Autostraddle. A sign that Autostraddle has had “trans stuff” for a long time and that some cis people always think we’re new.
“‘The program is all based on donations. It’s in the spirit of helping out your own,’ says Kit. Binders are frequently donated by transguys who have had top surgery, changed size, or found a size or style that works better for them. In a Bind also accepts donations of new binders, as well as monetary donations used to offset shipping costs.”
Michelle Kosilek’s Surgery Raises Questions About Trans* Prisoners’ Rights by Rose (September 2012)
“The fact that there’s so much misunderstanding about trans* rights even in more progressive circles does a lot to explain why even normally pro-LGBT politicians, like MA Gov. Deval Patrick and Elizabeth Warren have come out against Kosilek on this issue. Although Warren’s statement — ‘I have to say, I don’t think it’s a good use of taxpayer dollars’ – isn’t quite as strongly-worded as that of her opponent in the Senate race, Scott Brown, who called it an ‘outrageous abuse of taxpayer dollars’ and referred to a possible overturn of Judge Wolf’s ruling as ‘common sense prevailing.’ There seems to be particularly dismay at Warren’s stance, though, since she’s someone who has made a career out of standing up for the downtrodden, and would be expected to be on the progressive side of things when it comes to both trans* rights and prisoners’ rights.”
Call for Submissions: Trans*Scribe by Riese (February 2013)
Note: This is when everything changed. This call for trans women writers brought so much talent to Autostraddle — including future editor Mey Rude — and really shifted the kinds of pieces trans people could write on the site. It’s kind of wild to think this happened because Annika decided to take an indefinite internet break. Seriously, Annika, thank you for everything.
It’s really worth reading the wide range of pieces that were born from this series.
“So here’s what we’re looking for: writing from queer-identified trans* women — personal essays, features, lists, interviews, advice, anything!”
Getting With Girls Like Us: A Radical Guide to Dating Trans* Women for Cis Women by Savannah (March 2013)
Note: I do want to highlight this one piece from the series. Writing about sex as a trans woman on the internet is challenging and as someone who has done it a lot here, I appreciate this piece for paving the way.
“I happen to have had a couple of awesome relationships with cis women who were already in long-term, (explicitly) non-monogamous relationships. That said, I can’t help but notice there seems to be a pattern in which I am invited to be someone’s ‘thing on the side.’ While I can’t know for a fact if this is because I’m trans, I have heard other trans women relate similar things. In principle, I have no problem entering into such relationships with someone I trust and with whom I feel genuinely close. I’m just saying I know I’m not the only trans woman who feels a bit frustrated when this kind of thing seems to be on constant replay.”
Trauma Queen: An Autostraddle Book Review and Interview by Mey (June 2013)
Note: I just want to note this moment when trans people started being interviewed almost exclusively by trans writers!
“Janet Mock just wrote a blog post highlighting the problem that trans* women of color’s stories so often get pushed out of the way and purposefully silenced. Your memoir is one of the books she mentions that’s changing that. How did it feel to be mentioned in that blog post?”
Real-Life Sofia Bursets: Transgender Women Face a Nightmare in Men’s Prisons by Mey (July 2013)
“The problem isn’t trans women being placed in men’s prisons, or trans prisoners being denied medical treatment, the problem is the entire system. There are no good cops or good prisons, all of them work towards the goal of white supremacy and terrorizing, torturing, locking up, and murdering Black people. Police and prisons must be abolished now.”
Mira Bellweather and “Fucking Trans Women” Zine: The Autostraddle Interview by Kennedy (August 2013)
“So much of what I read about sex and what I have seen out in the world stresses one point over and over to the point where it’s completely useless: communication. Yes, communication is important. Yes, we need to learn how to talk about our bodies. But one of the most common issues I hear about from other trans women is over-thinking everything, and being too preoccupied with our bodies to really enjoy sex.
I have a sort of mantra that I repeat to myself: if you’re in your head, you’re not in your body.”
Laverne Cox, Superstar: The Autostraddle “Orange Is the New Black” Interview by Mey (August 2013)
“I just wanted to tell the story as truthfully as possible. I believe what artist do is take pain and turn it into art. Some of those moments which are similar to moments I’ve had in real life I got to make art out of and I’m so grateful for that.”
And I’m so grateful to all of the trans people who spoke to and wrote for Autostraddle in its early years. I hope this space only gets even more trans with every passing year. <3
Welcome Our New Senior Editor, Drew Burnett Gregory!
When I first joined Autostraddle in the spring of 2019, my TV Team colleagues often commented upon my expectations. When you come of age during Ellen or Queer as Folk, begin writing about TV during The L Word or Glee, the television of 2019 felt like a glutton of riches. But I was a baby — if not in age, then in queerness. I wanted to know why these shows didn’t have more trans women. I wanted to know why there were only a dozen great queer shows instead of two dozen.
It wasn’t just my youth. I came to criticism and culture writing as a cinephile and filmmaker. The 2010s brought a rise in mainstream queer film similar to the rise in queer television. But outside the mainstream, there have always been queer films. I raised myself on the international and underground cinema of the 20th century that’s more radical than anything still in Hollywood. And as a filmmaker, the only limits are budget. As a screenwriter, the only limits are my imagination. Spend enough time in your own fiction and you start to expect more from the fictions of others. You start to expect more from the world.
When I came out in early 2017, my expectations were high. I wanted people to completely reimagine their understanding of sexuality and gender. I wanted our film and television to not just be representational but to be made by us and for us. I wanted the queer world I knew was possible to exist. Now.
But my expectations began to shift during the past couple of years. The recent cultural and legislative backlash against queer people — especially trans people, especially trans youth — has had me settling for less. I’ve started mistaking a lack of outward hate for love. I’ve started accepting the bare minimum. That has to stop.
My promise to you as the new Senior Editor at Autostraddle is this: I’m going to start dreaming again. And I’m going to do everything I can to make those dreams a reality. My expectations — for myself and our world — have never been higher.
Me in 2019, the week I joined Autostraddle, on my way to my first Autostraddle event.
The more I’ve thought about expectations, the firmer I’ve grown in my belief that we have to create the world we want to live in. It’s like a culture-wide version of the cliché “fake it till you make it.” We can’t always be our truest queer selves, but we can in certain places and around certain people. That’s why gay bars and other queer spaces are so important. As a reader and a writer, Autostraddle has been one of those spaces for me. I want to make sure it continues to be that space for us and I want to keep our expectations high.
At TIFF this year, I went to a talk with one of my favorite queer filmmakers, Pedro Almodóvar. He said, “When you’re the director, you have the power to impose your point of view, to impose your outlook on life even if it’s not the same as everybody else’s.” The same is true when creating a space like Autostraddle. We get to decide what this space looks like. We get to decide if we’ll devolve with our culture or keep pushing toward a better future.
I started writing criticism and personal essays on an anonymous Tumblr. It wasn’t meant to be a career — it was just my version of a journal during my early days of transitioning. That’s the kind of person I am. In order to reflect on my own burgeoning femininity, I had to watch and rank every movie starring my personal paragon of femininity Nicole Kidman. To process my experience of transitioning while in a relationship, I compared myself to the sexy fish monster in The Shape of Water. These musings were just for myself — and my handful of followers — until one day Heather Hogan tweeted that she was looking for a piece on Supergirl. Minutes after emailing her a link to my Tumblr, Heather responded and my life was changed forever.
Over the past half a decade, I’ve been lucky enough to learn about nonfiction writing from Heather and the other past and present editors of this site. I’ve become stronger in my writing about film and television. I’ve learned to write about sex and dating and family and politics. I’ve written profiles and interviews and longform personal essays that let go of criticism as pretense. I was just a young queer trans woman who loved movies and now I’m a seasoned nonfiction writer. I want to provide the trust and guidance to young writers that I so generously received.
Me in 2023, on my way to cover TIFF for Autostraddle.
One of my favorite things about Autostraddle is we never have to explain ourselves. Other publications make me define “cis” in the middle of a personal essay — not Autostraddle. My greatest hope as an editor is to provide queer writers with a place where they can be artists, be thinkers, be their full selves. I want writers to feel free to live in their own worlds as they invite others into their stories and perspectives. Whether in a silly list or a heartfelt essay — or a combination of the two! — I want people writing for their own communities first and foremost.
This doesn’t stop at queerness. Or, rather, for me, queerness encapsulates so much more than sexuality and gender. Sure, I dream of a queer world where I’m not misgendered every time I go to the grocery store. But I dream even more of a queer world where police and prisons don’t exist. If we settle for the liberal fantasy of modern queerness rather than engaging with our lived realities, we’ll continue to backslide and our most vulnerable will be left behind.
We might live in a world where the Disney corporation is too supportive of queer people for Florida governor Ron DeSantis. But we don’t have to live in a world where they’re supportive enough for us. I mean, Elsa still doesn’t have a girlfriend and we’re supposed to believe those boys from Luca are straight! Come on! We can expect more than that. Goodbye exclusively gay moments — hello exclusively gay lifetime.
The media landscape is an increasingly homophobic, increasingly sexist, increasingly capitalistic nightmare. Every day we get to keep dreaming at Autostraddle is a gift. So, hey, let’s dream big!
Join me as I raise my expectations — for myself, for this site, for our community, for our little world, and the world beyond.
Long Live (Heather’s Version)
My beloved friends,
I’ve been staring at a blank page for weeks, thinking about Tim Riggins. The lovable, aimless, sensitive, brooding scamp from Friday Night Lights. The only man I’ve ever loved. (Well, the only man I’m not related to that I’ve ever loved.) From the moment I told Carmen and Kayla and Riese that, after nine years, I was ready to pass along the Autostraddle torch and leap into the wild unknown to pursue new creative dreams, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Dillion Panthers #33. Because, dang, that guy knew how to say goodbye. In fact, one of the most moving moments on the whole show — which is full of sob-inducing scenes, by the way — is when Tim Riggins walks out onto the field after losing the state championship his senior year and places his cleats at the goal line. No fans, no teammates, no coaches, no cheerleaders; just stadium lights illuminating the dark Texas sky, and a guy who loves football more than anything in the world. The symbolism isn’t subtle, but it’s real.
I don’t know how to talk about my feelings without talking about TV, or books, or movies, or video games. Fictional characters whose lives I’ve imprinted mine onto to help me make sense of the tangled, tricky, sometimes cruel and lonely world. And the first place that was ever okay was Autostraddle. That’s actually a thing we say a lot around here: Only at Autostraddle.
Sorry I’m late, I just spent six hours doing Veronica Mars-style deep-sleuthing because this famous woman showed up on that famous woman’s Instagram with their faces kinda smooshed together. Only at Autostraddle. What if I review The Land Before Time (1988) because that Kate Winslet lesbian archeologist movie is a slog? Only at Autostraddle. Just give me ten minutes, and I’ll Photoshop Megan Thee Stallion onto a soccer pitch with Megan Rapinoe. Only at Autostraddle. Okay what about if I make a full black-to-white gradient chart of kittens called 50 Shades of Grey Cats? Only at Autostraddle. I want to write about how much I love my wife on Monday and how much I hate onions on Tuesday and how to use a cordless drill on Wednesday and a review of my favorite cartoon on Thursday and an essay about chronic illness on Friday. Only at Autostraddle.
I walked in the door here and was invited to be as weird as I wanted to be for the first time in my life. I figured out who I am here, who I really am, because of so many of you and so many of my colleagues. Your kindness, your compassion, your generosity, your senses of humor, your commitment to doing what’s right no matter how hard it is, your vulnerability, your courage, your willingness to hold the people you love most accountable, your innate and overflowing goodness. Over the past nine years, I have become a better writer, absolutely — but, more importantly, I have become a better person. The very best version of myself. And none of that would be true if it weren’t for you.
You helped me embrace my butch identity and cheered me on when the bowties came out and the hair got chopped off. You helped me summon the audacity to believe in the kind of love that made me a wife. You guided me toward finally understanding, and then celebrating, my neurodivergence. You cheered me on when I rescued feral cats, you sent your deepest sympathies when friends and family passed away, you cackled at my silly jokes, and watched all my favorite TV right beside me, and when I got sick with Long Covid, you only held me tighter so I would have the strength to re-find my footing. The comments, the emails, the DMs, the cards, the letters, the coffee mugs and stickers and fountain pens and t-shirts and comic books and hand-knitted mittens and hand-woven friendship bracelets and hand-crafted ceramic gay sharks — you have given me more in my time here than I could repay in a dozen lifetimes. In my last Autostraddle Zoom meeting, I cried my little lesbian eyeballs out, sobbing about how I have felt more seen and loved in my time here than I could ever have imagined feeling, in all my whole life.
I feel like since I started with Tim Riggins, I should toss out my stats, to really drive home my time here in numbers. Nine years. 1,716 articles. 1.5 million words. Countless millions of pageviews. When I started writing for the queer internet, there were zero — ZERO! — queer women characters on primetime broadcast TV. In fact, almost all the sapphics were crowded onto one channel, one show: The L Word. Last year, GLAAD counted 596 total LGBTQ+ characters across all networks and streamers. (And yes, you’re calculating correctly: Streaming TV absolutely did not exist when I started doing this work, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying fan uploads and language-dubs of international shows on YouTube! Coronation Street and Hand aufs Herz forever!) I’ve been working my entire career in the middle of a representation hurricane! I’ve watched the world change as the landscape of TV has changed! Before I came to Autostraddle, I used to have to fisticuffs my co-workers for one gay TV thing to write about PER WEEK. Now there’s so much gay TV, we can hardly cover it all, even if we never sleep, even at a glance.
The next part I can’t write about, really. It’s all very Jane Austen: If I loved you less, I could talk about it more, etc. It’s just that working at Autostraddle has put me in the path of some of the most wonderful, brilliant, hilarious, genuinely good people in the entire world, people who are now some of my dearest friends.
My TV Team! Natalie, who I met because she had to call me out a hundred years ago for something very problematic I wrote, and who is now my constant sports companion and favorite co-writer. Valerie Anne, whose personal blog of Glee recaps I stumbled over during the show’s first season, and who became my first queer writer friend. Nic, who drifted into my path during my #BooRadleyVanCullen Pretty Little Liars tweeting days, and who I never let go from that moment. Those two clown shoes are now my actual real life neighbors and some of my closest friends, my Dungeons & Dragons teachers and co-adventurers. Y’all know I would rush into and carry any of y’all out of a burning building, in my arms, Wildmoore-style!
My senior staff! Carmen, secret queer sports femme, who came to me in a comment on a TV post and is now in charge of this entire publication, who gave me the absolute gift of her friendship and her leadership. Kayla, who somehow tells in-person stories even better than written ones (which is saying something), and who had me enthralled and in stitches when I met her at a rainy, spooky Wisconsin A-Camp. Nico, whose gift for wacky astrology posts is aspirational, and whose commitment to doing what’s best for our A+ members is a kind of care that’s unmatched. Laneia, the only person who really, truly got it when I said ten minutes on the phone with Dolly Parton would change my life, and who is the only person I ever met who could think of a fresh way to describe literally anything. Riese, who took the biggest chance in the world on me a decade ago, who cheered on almost every bonkers idea I ever floated, and who stood by my side when I got sick without ever flinching. We don’t have matching tattoos, but we do have matching bruises and scars, and that’s forever.
My A-Campers who became my beloved friends. And my other colleagues who spent time with me here and have gone on to do even more prodigious things.
Where could I ever have met a group of people that changed me on such a fundamental level? Who I will love with my whole heart for always? Only at Autostraddle.
Which leads me to the other announcement of this post: Taking over at Autostraddle Senior Editor is someone you also already know and already love: Drew Burnett Gregory. I’m just going to tell y’all exactly what I told the Autostraddle team: I could write twenty pages on Drew’s qualifications. I could say there’s no one on this earth who knows more about queer cinema than her. I could say that her ability to make all art accessible to all queers is unparalleled. I could say that I have seen her grow from a woman who wanted to write a single essay about Supergirl into an absolute powerhouse of TV and film criticism, Rotten Tomatoes top critic, dozens of film festivals. I could say that every dream she’s ever shared with me is a dream I believed like the sun, because they were her dreams — and that would all be true.
But what I really want to say about Drew is that her courage to engage fully with queer art, to search for new ways to appreciate everything she watches, is aspirational. And somehow, through some kind of magic and mind alchemy, she’s also able to never settle for less than what she believes this community deserves. She can find ways to love and relate to almost any story, and then she can stand confidently in that love and ask for more. I have been watching her do it for years now and it has never stopped blowing my mind, and inspiring the absolute heck out of me.
Thank you all for understanding that I will never be able to write a book, or chase after the fleeting butterflies of whispered dreams, while also working full-time at a place that calls to me the way Autostraddle does. I will always put it first because I love it too much not to. Plus, I know for sure — like a bone-deep knowing — that this is the absolute perfect time for me to transition out of my role, and for Drew to step in and live out her own editorial dreams. She is so well-loved and so widely respected and there is no doubt that her time as an editor here is going to be one of renewed enthusiasm and energy.
This is not even close to the end of my writing career (I hope!). I’m really trying to publish a dang book of essays, I promise. Everyone always asks, and friends, I sure am working on it. In the meantime, your support of my newsletter would mean the absolute world to me. That’s where I’ll be twice a week for the foreseeable future as I figure out what the next phase of dreaming looks like for me. And, of course, you can find me on Twitter, Instagram, and Blue Sky.
The thing I love about Tim Riggins’ football send-off is, well, what human on earth can ever really say they left it all on the field? It is such a rare and impossible thing to look back at any time period in your life — even four quarters of some kind of sports matchup — and say, yes, I gave it literally everything I had. This is my last week at Autostraddle, and as I think over my time here, I firmly believe I could drop my cleats at the goal line with pride. Not every play went the way I hoped it would. Not every decision I made was the right one. But, man, I did some cool stuff with some awesome people, and I left all my sweat and blood and every bit of effort I could conjure on the field. I’m sad and excited and hopeful and proud. So proud. Mostly, though, I will remain forever grateful that you took this journey with me. Clear eyes, full hearts, thank you.
love,
Heather
For Them Acquires Autostraddle: An Explainer
This post was initially an email sent out to our A+ members on the morning of Tuesday August 22nd, but in light of questions shared by all our readers in response to our interview with Kylo yesterday, we’re publishing it now for all to read.
THEY SAID YES 💍
We’re gathered here today to celebrate the union of two queer-owned companies!! We’re beyond thrilled to announce that we’re merging with QTPOC-owned queer wellness and tech company For Them. Our Autostraddle Co-Founder and CEO Riese and For Them’s Founder and CEO Kylo Freeman have been talking about this acquisition for many many months now, and we’re finally making it official. This is MAJOR, Y’ALL!
Thanks to being acquired by For Them, Autostraddle will live on in all the ways that you love and so, so much more. We’re looking at a future where we’ll be better resourced when it comes to advancing our gay agenda, where we’ll have new, exciting and experienced leadership, and where we’ll have the ability to turn the queer dreams that once seemed so far off into Real Fucking Life.
What Does This Mean for Autostraddle?
- Autostraddle isn’t going anywhere. And neither are our archives! For Them and Kylo are committed to maintaining the queer archives of content at Autostraddle for generations to come. We’re also looking forward to, because of our new leadership and the support of For Them, having more time to dedicate to the life-saving editorial work we’re known for.
- We’re maintaining our editorial independence. Autostraddle remains Autostraddle. The website will remain a website, and we’ll continue to address an audience of lesbian, queer and trans readers. Carmen Phillips will remain Editor-in-Chief and our mission and vision for an Autostraddle that centers the most marginalized members of our community remains. We’re working to making Autostraddle readable on an app by the end of the year, and have already started talking about bringing events back in a real way. We’re hopeful that maybe we may even have some better work / life balance because our all queer and trans team is joining forces with For Them’s all queer and trans team!
- Our full-time team is going over to the other side! Some of our roles are changing and some are staying very much the same. Carmen, Kayla and Heather will be in the same roles. Nico is heading up Autostraddle’s Membership Editorial and Ops — there won’t be any more fundraisers, so they’ll be able to focus completely on making A+ membership even cooler! Laneia will remain on the team in operations where she’s helping us build bright, exciting futures and also a lot of serious databases and systems. Riese is thrilled to be moving out of leadership and away from her role as CEO and back into writing, editing, podcasting and generally playing to her strengths by working with the new CEO on strategic development.
- However, in anticipation of the merge and existing infrastructure on the other side to support our Brand Partnerships pursuits, our Brand Partnerships Director Anya finished up her time last month, and we already miss her so much! Building out our brand partnerships with Anya — who is brilliant and determined and hilarious — and getting to work closely with her in that process, was frankly a delight. She hustled her ass off to learn more about our place in this industry, going to conferences and industry events and getting our name out there in front of brands we were previously unable to reach — and maintained a positive attitude in the face of really sharp odds! More than that, she learned and taught us all new lessons with each deck she built and client she met with. Furthermore, her work on topics including Selling Sunset and Survivor is Pulitzer-worthy. She’s generous, kind, humble and fantastic, and we already miss her presence in our Slack every day.
- This was an “equity-only deal” which makes it more of a merger than a sale. No cash changed hands. What we’re all getting out of this is a leadership team with serious business acumen, a combining of resources, better chances at success, and opportunities for serious growth.
- For Them is ALSO member-supported, and in this time of transition, we need your support more than ever. This also means that there’s a plan to bring our member programs together. This will be a process that happens gradually, but we think it’s going to be really exciting for y’all. Your membership and donation dollars remain 100% gay and will still go directly into Autostraddle editorial and operations. AND there are going to be a host of new benefits for both A+ and For Them members. It’s the best of two gay worlds!
So What’s For Them?
For Them is a QTPOC-owned company reimagining wellness for queer and gender-expansive folks through products, community and gender-tech. They launched their startup in 2021 with their flagship product, The Binder. The Binder was designed to provide maximum compression with maximum comfort, based on Founder and CEO Kylo Freeman’s lived experiences searching for a gender-affirming chest binder that was breathable. Today, For Them is a media and technology company driving the queer revolution through product drops and services that function as direct links to queer wellness, radical self-expression, authentic connection and human experience. For Them is also at work on new products and releases that will go beyond The Binder, and has recently launched the For Them Podcast Network.
”As a queer, non-binary human-being, I saw thousands of companies focusing on products and services that did not speak to my experience. Wellness looks different for everyone. For Them understands and celebrates that.” -Founder, Kylo Freeman
Meet the New CEO
Kylo Freeman (they/them) is a queer, Black, nonbinary and British founder, actor, producer and venture partner based in NYC. They started their career in finance (PwC, AXA Art, prehype) and then moved to New York to study acting at Stella Adler Studio.
Kylo’s acting career, which includes credits on NBC’s “The Blacklist” and “New Amsterdam” as well as AACTA nominated best indie feature film “Under My Skin,” lead them to founding their first company in 2018. After noticing the imbalance in the funding of diverse stories, they started Boycott Entertainment – production company focussed on underrepresented talent behind the camera.
Kylo is passionate about the queer community and is consistently innovating around ways to improve the wellbeing of gender non-conforming and trans folks. They have recently joined Resolute VC as a venture partner, which is another space where they strive to empower underrepresented humans with equitable access to opportunity.
When Carmen asked Kylo what they saw in Autostraddle, Kylo had this to say:
“So I’ve been a massive superfan, and a genuine fan ever since I could remember. Autostraddle helped me come out by showing me what a full, queer, happy life could look like. Then I got the pleasure of meeting Riese and we just got on really well. We realized that the way we think and the way you all think is very similar in terms of mission and what we’re trying to achieve and what’s important. I think that’s really, really rare and I haven’t come across that a lot in the business world, of two people driving towards the same goal from a different angle. Then I met the whole Autostraddle team and in terms of mission, in terms of ethos, the whole team’s incredible. And it just felt like it was a very easy decision from my end, to be honest.”
How’s the Team Feeling?
“The love that I have for Autostraddle, starting from when I used to read it daily while coming out of the closet, can barely be put in words. Now, I consider myself so deeply lucky to be a part of this beautiful, funny, ridiculously smart, hardworking, tireless team — people who day in and out, put in endless hours to keep telling the stories of our community, on our terms. Joining our team with ForThem is going to open up exciting new opportunities in front of us to not only continue existing, but also grow and serve our communities.” – Carmen Phillips, Editor in Chief
“Autostraddle has been a huge part of my life for the past 8+ years, and I’m so excited that it’ll live on and can’t wait to see what this new chapter looks like. Working under Carmen’s vision as Editor in Chief has been one of the most rewarding aspects of my writing/editing career, and I’m really proud of the things we’ve done together alongside the rest of the team. Changes are exciting and an opportunity for growth, and I’m ready to jump into whatever that might look like moving forward!” – Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, Managing Editor
I’ve already started behind the scenes work with ForThem as we prepare to marry our member programs, and seeing their team has reminded me of just why and how I fell in love with working at Autostraddle. Autostraddle is full of smart, earnest, funny as heck queer people who are total weirdos who follow their hearts. I am starting to get the sense that For Them’s team is similar, and I couldn’t be more excited about growing our crew and about the many, unfolding and expansive possibilities for the future of this site, this community and everything we’ve been dreaming of accomplishing! – Nico Hall, Membership Editorial and Ops
Autostraddle has always been one of the most important publications on the internet, and that’s as true — maybe even more true — than ever, here in 2023. With state governments and local school boards restricting essential access to LGBTQ+ resources, with trans people under attack from both the church and the state like never before, and with so many other queer publications folding, Autostraddle remains a beacon of hope in an often very cruel world. I am excited that Autostraddle is going to join forces with a group of similar-minded people who are committed to making sure queer and trans people have the support they need to live the fullest, happiest lives possible. – Heather Hogan, Senior Writer
Change can be scary but it can also be terribly exciting, and this is definitely the exciting kind of change!. I’ve loved working with the ForThem team this year – dreaming the biggest dreams possible for the future of Autostraddle, dreams I’d long let go of. I think our whole team will benefit from the structure, experience and forward-thinking vision that Kylo will bring to the table as our new CEO. – Riese Bernard, Co-Founder
New Member Benefits Are Coming!
Right now, our teams are hard at work on a roadmap for the future of gay-marrying A+ and For Them member benefits, but we want you to know that just like Autostrddle, A+ isn’t going anywhere. In the future, A+ members can look forward to new perks like For Them’s app and member community, The Playground — and Silver, Gold and Platinum A+ members can look forward to access to discounts and exclusive product drops. You’ll likely receive more news over the next several months, and at the very least, we believe members will have access to the app by the end of the year. We’re committed to keeping pricing accessible at the least expensive tiers and to providing members with more benefits as time goes on and members willl continue to receive every member perk and the A+ content they currently access! Stay tuned, open your emails and watch this space for more!
Thank you, always and forever, for being a part of this place. You have our queer hearts.
Privacy Concerns
Apologies that we didn’t pre-empt the concerns that we received around data and privacy on our interview with Kylo posted yesterday. We want to address those concerns now.
In terms of the data Autostraddle has on A+ members: we have the name and email you signed up with. If you have received perks, we have your address. This is very similar data that any online shop might have for you. We do not have access to your credit card or other payment information, as that is encrypted via third party payment processors and we don’t have any ability to access that information. To be perfectly clear, advertisers have asked Autostraddle in the past for more reader data, and we have not collected it nor sold it.
For Them, similarly to Autostraddle, collects name, email, phone number device information and payment info (via a third party processor), as well as address when necessary for shipping products. The “gender tracking” on the app is not referring to any kind of biometric data tracking, but rather to a reflection style feature of the app. The app allows you to track how euphoric, confident or joyful you feel on any given day in a kind of personal diary, for your own personal use. It also allows you to track your outfits. None of this data is medical or biometric. Location is not tracked. They never, ever ask about medical procedures, HRT, diagnoses, medical history or anything of that matter. If anyone wishes to download their information to review, bring to a therapist, etc. then they can download their history. Other than that, this information is not shared with anyone. Users also have the option to delete their entire profile at any point they deem necessary. None of this data is sold to third parties, and never will be, nor would it be useful in any way in terms of salability to third parties. These features were developed through conversations and work with beta testers who requested these features be made available to them in the app and this “tracking” is the end product in and of itself, and is not intended as a means of scraping data. All data is encrypted and secure.
A+ members will be able to opt in as to whether they download the app and they will be able to opt into using any individual features within the app. There is no way for us to force you to download the app, and since the website will still be accessible as a website, it will not be necessary to download the app to continue to read and access A+ content. The merging of the memberships may involve migrating our data to a more secure and advanced system, but that’s not in order to sell it, but rather because we might have the chance for the first time in 10 years, to use a member database that is not made out of tape and bubblegum. Mostly, the “merging” of the memberships was just our way of communicating that members of both companies are going to start receiving each others’ perks and benefits. For Them is going to be releasing new products in the future, and for example, A+ members at the Silver level and up are going to be getting discounts on those products. For Them members will get to read A+ content. We’re working on building out the tech that will allow all this to happen smoothly, but that does not involve in any way selling your data or obtaining data from you that you don’t willingly give us.
We also want to close by addressing the concerns around the following phrase in For Them’s privacy policy: “Finally, we may also share your Personal Information to comply with applicable laws and regulations, to respond to a subpoena, search warrant or other lawful request for information we receive, or to otherwise protect our rights.” While this is absolutely standard language when it comes to privacy policies (you’ll find this in many other queer apps’ privacy policy for example), we want to assure you that unlike certain other media companies we shall not name for legal reasons, we will not blanket comply with information requests, but will instead take any such requests (or orders in the case of subpoenas and warrants) through our legal team. Keeping our community safe is our priority and we will do so to the best of our ability.
We will not harvest or sell user data to third parties. For Them’s physical products and the app are our end game. Autostraddle will continue to create content which is also our end game. Our end game is not data harvesting. Ultimately, whatever we’re doing, whether it’s making gender affirming products or lesbian content, we’re here to serve our community. Our legal team is currently reviewing an updated privacy policy that addresses all the above concerns in greater depth. This will be published within the week.
We hope this was clarifying and helpful.
Get In Here and Meet Kylo Freeman: For Them’s Founder and Autostraddle’s New CEO
We’ve got some pretty big changes coming up at Autostraddle — a new, bright, hopeful chapter that began as the smallest seed of an idea last winter, has been through months of conversations and considerations and meetings and consultations and adjustments, and is now finally becoming a reality. Autostraddle is being acquired in an equity-only deal by For Them, a New York-based company “driving the queer revolution through products and services that function as direct links to queer wellness, radical self-expression, authentic connection and human experience.” Their first product, launched in 2021, was The Binder, a chest compression garment designed for safe, all-day wear and comfort, created in collaboration through fit tests with 500+ trans and non-binary humans. In addition to developing future product drops and services, For Them recently launched their membership program, The Playground, as well as a podcast network. And now they have acquired this very website.
For Them Founder + CEO Kylo Freeman
For Them’s founder and CEO Kylo Freeman will be our new CEO.
Carmen will remain Editor-in-Chief, and all our editors are staying through the transition. The website will continue to exist and thrive and serve lesbian, queer and trans communities. After facilitating the changeover, I’ll be stepping out of leadership and shifting my focus to editorial, under Carmen’s leadership, as well as working with Kylo on product development and Brand Partnerships. We won’t be fundraising anymore, but Nico will continue running A+, which will remain our primary source of revenue.
You can expect A+, like so many things around here, to get even more awesome in the coming months and years. Together we’ll be building a fuller community experience, including events and an app.
There’ll be a lot of practical information coming out in the coming months, but for now on this webpage we wanted to kick off this merge in the most Autostraddle-ish way possible: with a very incredibly serious interview!!!
This interview was conducted over the Zoom app, led by Riese (Co-Founder) and Carmen (Editor-in-Chief) and aimed at Kylo (our future CEO, who by the way is also an actor which is relevant and you will find out why).
Also present on the Zoom in a peanut gallery capacity:
- A+ Director Nico Hall
- ForThem’s COO Em Chadwick
- ForThem’s Social Media & Comms Lead, Motti.
Also you should know that even though ForThem is in New York and that’s where Kylo and Em live, Kylo and Em are from the U.K. This will come up in the interview so just be prepared is all!
Riese: I want you to know first of all that I prepared for this interview, like I do for all celebrity interviews, by familiarizing myself with your body of work, which for me meant watching two of your episodes of New Amsterdam—
Kylo: No you didn’t. Don’t say that.
Riese: I did!
Kylo: That’s embarrassing!
Carmen: That is how Riese prepares for interviews, but also I did not realize that you were in New Amsterdam and now I have to see your episodes.
Kylo: Oh god. Was it the one where someone’s leg was bent at a weird angle and I grabbed it and said some medical jargon I didn’t understand and then fixed their leg, was it that one?
Riese: No, so far you’ve only had one line, and in the first episode you didn’t have any lines at all—
Kylo: My Mum was like, “you don’t have any lines?” and I was like, “you didn’t see all the face acting I was doing?”
Riese: But then in the next episode you said something mean to Lauren’s girlfriend about her privilege.
Kylo: Oh sure.
Riese: Which I thought was a little harsh.
Kylo: I’m sorry.
Carmen: Kylo, I’m going to start with the main thing our readers will want to know about you as CEO, which is …. when did you know you were gay?
Kylo: I think I always knew in my bones and soul, but I had the bravery to admit it to myself maybe when I was 16, and then I eventually started telling people and exploring what that meant when I was 18.
Riese: Was there something that inspired your revelation at 16?
Kylo: Oh yeah. [laughs] Yes. She’s very straight and has a husband. But I should first say that my gender is interesting to this too, because that was also something that was really alienating for me when I was very young, being asked to wear anything feminine, but I didn’t really understand it. Which’s where my passion for creating representation across multiple communities comes from. But I conformed and got pushed into the mainstream, heteronormative society of Liverpool and the UK, and then I met a woman that I felt very passionately about, and that was very confusing and I figured that it must mean something about my sexuality.
Riese: Along those same lines, when did you know that you wanted to start a queer company?
Kylo: I’ve always wanted to start a queer company, but when did I have the resources and the privilege to do it? I mean, not until I was almost 30.
As I started to really understand my sexuality and my gender I could really see the ways that we’re very underserved and underrepresented across so many areas — from products and services to community. So I’ve definitely been passionate about doing it for a long time.
My first company was a production company focused on underrepresented folks behind the camera. That’s because I was getting booked as an actor, and there was a big push for diversity on-screen, but we didn’t seem to have that same diverse talent behind the camera, or writing the stories. I think For Them is solving the same issue, which is: how do we serve underserved folks in the community?
Carmen: That’s great. And I think that’s gonna lead right into my question, which is — when did you know that you wanted to buy this company and why? What do you think sets our company apart from everything else out there?
Kylo: Um, don’t be scared, Riese, but I’ve known of you for a long time. I’ve known Autostraddle ever since Autostraddle was made accessible to me on the interwebs. Autostraddle also told me about The L Word, which blew my whole mind wide open, and it was cool to keep going back to Autostraddle to keep up on what you thought about the episode that I’d watched.
I think Autostraddle genuinely — it’s cheesy to say, but it helped me come out because it helped me understand that there’s so many queer folks out there living lives that are cool and interesting and full. You all have such a unique voice and a strong connection with your community.
So I’ve been a massive superfan, and a genuine fan ever since I could remember. Then I got the pleasure of meeting Riese and we just got on really well. We realized that the way we think and the way you all think is very similar in terms of mission and what we’re trying to achieve and what’s important. I think that’s really, really rare and I haven’t come across that a lot in the business world, of two people driving towards the same goal from a different angle. Then I met the whole Autostraddle team and in terms of mission, in terms of ethos, the whole team’s incredible. And it just felt like it was a very easy decision from my end, to be honest.
Riese: I love that!!!! Okay, so. When you were little, did you dream of owning a website that recently published an article called, “How Many Times Did I See Black Swan in Theaters While Closeted? An Investigation”?
Kylo: It was my one and only dream.
Riese: Follow-up — how many times have you seen Black Swan?
Kylo: Actually, a lot. Actually a lot.
Riese: Really?
Kylo: Yeah, I’ve seen it a lot, it’s so sexy. I can’t say that enough. So thank you for the article, thank you to Black Swan. It could do with a little more diversity in the cast, but that’s the lens I’m always driving with. But it’s sexy and important.
Carmen: I think objectively both of those things are true. I think the readers are gonna love knowing that you think it’s sexy. We all agree there.
Kylo: Excellent.
Carmen: I actually have a serious question, which is, what are your dreams for Autostraddle for our employees, our writers, our readers?
Kylo: I don’t know if this term resonates for folks that haven’t done improv, but, but it’s just: “yes, and.” Everything that you’ve achieved, I’m in awe of, I think it’s so incredible. You have this amazing 14-year year base, and I’m not trying to disrupt that, and I’m really excited to be able to provide that to our members, and for Autostraddle members to get all the perks that our members have, access to our products and services, and to hear from them what they want, and to invest in those ideas.
And here’s the thing: I’m a builder. I’m a CEO. I can build stuff. I haven’t built a successful editorial business, and that’s why I wanted to go out and seek the advice and collaboration of people who have done this really well. I want to give it more structure and resources and grow it to the point that you dream of. I think because we’re all naturally driving towards the same mission, not much will change. We’re just saving and bolstering that queer archive that we care so much about.
Carmen: I do feel like this fits right into my question which is, what has been the most exciting and the most surprising thing about working with these weirdos?
Kylo: Who are the weirdos? You all? Us?
Riese: Autostraddle. Our team.
Kylo: We’re pretty weird too, so, it doesn’t feel that different? I’m used to working with an all-queer team that has amazing creative ideas that are a little bit out of the box, so it feels like a perfect fit from my end. I’m also just super-excited to have more than just one person on our team who can write, which is Motti. Motti would like to sleep a little more and write a little less I think.
Motti: Kylo hired a Brooklyn stand-up comic to run comms for the company.
Kylo: That’s right, and I regret nothing. Hm, what was most surprising? I think I’ve been surprised how well we fit together. I feel that is quite rare, right? Like, I could genuinely hang out with all of you. I don’t know that that happens a lot at work, you know?
Riese: Probably not, but what do I know? I work here.
Carmen: Okay, my next question is, should our readers be terrified that our site is gonna turn into Binder Sponcon overnight, or will we keep the editorial independence that they have come to expect and adore?
Kylo: Certainly the latter. Please educate me, what is Binder Sponcon?
Riese: It’s sponcon about binders.
Carmen: Correct.
Kylo: Sponsored content about binders. Oh, okay! I think the queer community is much more than binders, although I think binders are a good parallel to how underserved we are and that’s why For Them started out manufacturing a binder. But totally, editorial independence will be kept, you’ll continue to foster an audience of lesbian, queer and trans people. Carmen will be at the helm, and I just hope that we do even more content with more folks in the community. But no binder sponcon — well actually — you’re not even gonna do one? Maybe one. I’m not saying none.
Carmen: Maybe one.
Kylo: Not on day one.
Riese: Maybe day three. Binder Day.
Carmen: You’re joking but we will make up holidays.
Riese: Yea, like “It’s Great To Be Gay Day.”
Carmen: Which is 100% made up and does not happen at the same time every year, it happens when we decide it happens.
Riese: Yeah I love that. We sold a lot of stickers for that holiday.
Carmen: We sure did.
Riese: Okay my next question is, I’ve noticed that (ForThem COO) Em puts two question marks at the end of an ask in Slack. Is that a British thing? Or do you think it’s meant to connote urgency? Or to give me a heart attack every time she asks me for something?
Kylo: I don’t believe it’s a British thing. I think it’s probably to note urgency.
Riese: Okay wow, so there is a lot of urgency then.
Kylo: But is that urgency being communicated well with those two question marks? It’s probably a habit. I mean, Em?
Em: I have nothing to say for myself other than being haphazard with my keyboard.
Kylo: I think it’s a habit. When Em types on her laptop, fire comes up from her keyboard. And the way that she reads her screen is flying upwards and down and left and right and it will give you a full-blown panic attack if you are anyone but Em.
Riese: It’s true. Whenever we’re on a meeting and you’re doing something on the computer, your eyes are darting all over the place.
Carmen: Oh my God, like full-on Matrix?
Em: Trinity is my absolute idol, so I’m into that.
Carmen: Okay, speaking of British things, can you say something British for our British readers?
Kylo: Well, I was gonna say “good day gov’na” but it’s not 1800, so I don’t know. You haven’t heard the full Liverpool accent, which is actually pretty specific.
Em: It’s amazing and I love it. It’s like, “we snogged outside the chippy.”
Riese: Okay, let’s say we run into each other on a cobblestone street on our way to a Shakespeare play and you want to invite me over for tea tomorrow. What would you say?
Kylo: I’d say “hey mate, do you wanna grab some tea?”
Riese: Hm. [disappointed]
Carmen: This is great, I feel like I’m inside of Love Actually. My Beckham has been bent.
[Riotous laughter]
Em: That’s the reference of the century.
Riese: Okay real question: How do you plan to foster a positive company culture?
Kylo: So, ForThem’s been active for three years. I’ve built companies before this. I’ve also been in a lot of bigger companies where I felt like culture was not being fostered in a safe and good way. And so I have all of those learnings and I’ve basically tried to build a queer company from scratch. So a lot of that has stuff that’s non-traditional, based around structure that I think creates safety and openness and collaborative behaviors in the team, we’re very intentional about our values. So I want to continue as we’ve started. We take a lot of feedback from the team, you’re very collaborative.
I think that’s really all I have to do as a leader, is just listen to folks and try to strive to create a great environment for everyone. I know I’m not perfect. We just do our best out here.
Carmen: Okay. Riese told me that you don’t like reading Slack messages that are over two paragraphs long. Have you ever read an article on Autostraddle.com?
Kylo: Yes! [laughs] Okay, in my mind, publications and Slack messages are two different kinds of content, right? The wonderful and nuanced and interesting writing on the Autostraddle website cannot be compared to urgent two question mark slack messages, right? I’m a team member that just loves to hear people’s voices. I think as we’re asking folks to do things it just creates a little bit less friction. Riese’s slack message was like — some words were bolded, there were some italics in there, some underlines, there were paragraphs and bullet points, it’s like, structure. It’s like a love letter, you know?
Riese: A love letter about health insurance, yeah.
Kylo: A love letter about health insurance and I will not read it!
Riese: My next question is, which part of Autostraddle do you intend to torch first?
Kylo: [laughs]
Nico: Make sure that you write “laughs, but not villainously.”
Riese: “Laughs kindly and generously.”
Carmen: “Laughs, but not like a Disney villain.”
Motti: “Laughs, but takes out the flamethrower.”
Kylo: Nothing! I don’t plan to torch anything.
Riese: Okay. How do you plan to manage and leverage the company’s resources effectively?
Kylo: Look, indie publications are tough to run. Traditionally, Autostraddle has overspent slightly in certain areas, but that’s not due to any mismanagement of funds, but rather, because they’ve struggled to balance their ethics around fair wages and providing opportunities for new talent with the realities of maintaining sustainable revenue streams for a mid-size media company. It’s unprecedented how long Autostraddle has survived on just a boot-strapping model. So what we’re going to be doing is building a scalable budget that over time can grow in a way that still feeds the business. I began my career and education in finance, I was originally an auditor (!) and then became CFO for various startups. Being an entrepreneur in residence at prehype helped me match my financial background with skills of how to build sustainable companies. So I’m bringing a lot of knowledge and experience to the table, but I believe you’ve done an amazing job with the very limited resources that you’ve had.
Carmen: So what are you most excited to see happen in the new Autostraddle x ForThem merger?
Kylo: I want to nurture what you’ve already built, but then create even more opportunity for more underrepresented queer writers, and venture into more podcasts and into new queer IRL spaces, too. We’re building your puzzles into an app. I know that’s something Riese and I talked about early on, moving into the areas that your audience has been asking for for a long time but you haven’t had the resources and human power to do it. I think that’s really exciting because to me, you’ve already told me what folks want, right? But you haven’t had enough people to be able to drive towards it. I’m just excited to drive towards those things that you would’ve done if you’d had all the resources in the world, you know?
Carmen: I think that’s a great answer.
Riese: Okay, next question – do you remember what snack I got when we went to that co-working space in February, on the day we were looking through our finances? Like, I remember the snack was kind of a weird concept, but I don’t remember specifically what it was.
Kylo: Yes, I do, because I remember feeling like it was just quite a surprising choice. Because it was lunchtime. You got some sort of granola yogurt thing, is that right?
Riese: Oh, I did. But also I got like, a bowl of some sort of potato something?
Kylo: Yeah exactly.
Em: And there was this big pot of sauce and it made me feel sick when I looked at it. It had a bad texture.
Kylo: It was a pretty unique choice. It made me even more excited for our conversation because it made me think wow, this person is different.
Riese:Yeah, exactly.
Kylo: This person thinks outside the box, you know?
Riese: Uh-huh.
Kylo: Like, there was avocado toast on that menu —
Riese: Yeah, I could’ve gotten that.
Kylo: There was pizza on there — there was… anything but that. I actually really enjoyed that choice.
Riese: That means a lot to me, thanks.
Nico: “There was anything but that.”
[laughter]
Riese: I don’t think I ate it though.
Kylo: You did not. Which was even more interesting.
Carmen: Okay, last question: what are you most nervous about when it comes to running Autostraddle?
Kylo: So my goal is and has always been to serve the queer community, and my worry is that we as a collective won’t have all the tools we need to get it right every time — there are so many perspectives to consider and validate, and then, so many opportunities to make mistakes. So I hope we have the opportunity to learn from them. But I think with a larger team, and lots of different queer folks’ perspectives, we’re gonna get better and better at this stuff over time. We have a really diverse team too — across race, gender — I think that’s why it’s important to stay as collaborative as possible, right? This is not a dictatorship. I’ve learned so much from my team that I knew nothing about before. This is a real collaborative team, and the more we lean into that, and listen to everyone’s voice, the more we’ll be able to get closer to serving folks right every time. I want to keep learning, you know, as we go.
Motti: This is especially hard for Kylo because they are an 80-year-old man. Sometimes they need to be told what’s cool and hip and stuff.
Kylo: That’s true, you can put that in.
Riese: What do you think is cool and hip?
[pause]
Riese: Do you wanna ask Motti?
Kylo: [looks at Motti] Bum bags?
Riese: Bum bags?
Kylo: Bum bags! Bum bags and slippers. I know you call them fanny packs—
Carmen: Ooooh oh my god, I was like “what are you talking about?”
Nico: “Fanny Pack” would have different implications across the ocean.
Carmen: Ohhhh right because “fanny” across the ocean—
Kylo: Right ‘cause fanny is a vulva, so.
Riese: It sounds to me like a colonoscopy bag.
Nico: It sounds like maybe a preparatory instrument.
Motti: An enema for bottoms! Called a “bum bag.”
Riese: That’s good!
Kylo: Look at this product development we’re doing on this call!
Riese: My last question is, have you seen Suits? Meghan Markle is in it, and she’s married to the prince of your country. Harry. Prince Harry.
Kylo: I have seen Suits. Yeah. She is married to the prince of our country.
Riese: She’s very pretty, right?
Kylo: Yes, she is very pretty. And it’s a shame that we have lost her as an actor, but it is a privilege that we have gained her as a princess. Meghan, I love you.
Riese: [to Nico] Do we have any other questions we need to ask?
Nico: You gotta work in member support.
Riese:“We will collapse without ongoing member support.” Can you tell that to our readers?
Carmen: “True or false—”
Riese: “True or false — we still need massive member support to survive? Please don’t cancel!”
Kylo: So, hi, A+ members. Welcome. Your wonderful member dollars will still be driven to the same awesome place that they were driven to before, so all of your membership money will sustain our wonderful queer writers. They will create queer content, and Autostraddle as a whole has its own budget and that’s where 100% of your A+ dollars will go. We have a membership program as well, and those programs will eventually merge and you’ll have access to even more cool perks and features than you do now.
Riese: That’s great, thank you!
Kylo: Okay. So last point, I’m from Liverpool and we are very passionate about our football team. And our sort of statement for the football team is “you’ll never walk alone.” And I just wanna get that in there.
Carmen: We’ll make it work.
Kylo: There’s a song around it, I’m going to send it to you. You have to sing it with your hands above your head screaming.
Riese: I’m from Ann Arbor, Michigan, and what we say is, “Go Blue.”
Carmen: I also grew up in Southeastern Michigan saying “Go Blue.” But famously, I pretend not to know sports, but I would like to officially announce here that I am going to come in second place in the Autostraddle WNBA Fantasy league this year.
Kylo: Whoa.
Carmen:And that is only after a year of learning basketball.
Kylo: Oh, that’s amazing.
Carmen: Knock on wood. Watch, by the time this is published, I’ll get knocked out of second place. But knock on wood.
Riese: You’re winning now, and this moment is all that matters.
Addressing Your Privacy Concerns
Apologies that we didn’t pre-empt the concerns that we’re seeing around data collection and privacy. We want to address those concerns now.
In terms of the data Autostraddle has on A+ members: we have the name and email you signed up with. If you have received perks, we have your address. This is very similar data that any online shop might have for you. We do not have access to your credit card or other payment information, as that is encrypted via third party payment processors and we don’t have any ability to access that information. To be perfectly clear, advertisers have asked Autostraddle in the past for more reader data, and we have not collected it nor sold it.
For Them, similarly to Autostraddle, collects name, email, phone number device information and payment info (via a third party processor), as well as address when necessary for shipping products. The “gender tracking” on the app is not referring to any kind of biometric data tracking, but rather to a reflection style feature of the app. The app allows you to track how euphoric, confident or joyful you feel on any given day in a kind of personal diary, for your own personal use. It also allows you to track your outfits. None of this data is medical or biometric. Location is not tracked. We never, ever ask about medical procedures, HRT, diagnoses, medical history or anything of that matter. If anyone wishes to download their information to review, bring to a therapist, etc. then they can download their history. Other than that, this information is not shared with anyone. Users also have the option to delete their entire profile at any point they deem necessary. None of this data is sold to third parties, and never will be, nor would it be useful in any way in terms of salability to third parties. These features were developed through conversations and work with beta testers who requested these features be made available to them in the app and this “tracking” is the end product in and of itself, and is not intended as a means of scraping data. All data is encrypted and secure.
A+ members will be able to opt in as to whether they download the app and they will be able to opt into using any individual features within the app. There is no way for us to force you to download the app, and since the website will still be accessible as a website, it will not be necessary to download the app to continue to read and access A+ content. The merging of the memberships may involve migrating our data to a more secure and advanced system, but that’s not in order to sell it, but rather because we might have the chance for the first time in 10 years, to use a member database that is not made out of tape and bubblegum. Mostly, the “merging” of the memberships was just our way of communicating that members of both companies are going to start receiving each others’ perks and benefits. For Them is going to be releasing new products in the future, and for example, A+ members at the Silver level and up are going to be getting discounts on those products. For Them members will get to read A+ content. We’re working on building out the tech that will allow all this to happen smoothly, but that does not involve in any way selling your data or obtaining data from you that you don’t willingly give us.
We also want to close by addressing the concerns around the following phrase in For Them’s privacy policy: “Finally, we may also share your Personal Information to comply with applicable laws and regulations, to respond to a subpoena, search warrant or other lawful request for information we receive, or to otherwise protect our rights.” While this is absolutely standard language when it comes to privacy policies (you’ll find this in many other queer apps’ privacy policy for example), we want to assure you that unlike certain other media companies we shall not name for legal reasons, we will not blanket comply with information requests, but will instead take any such requests (or orders in the case of subpoenas and warrants) through our legal team. Keeping our community safe is our priority.
We will not harvest or sell user data to third parties. For Them’s physical products and the app are our end game. Autostraddle will continue to create content which is also our end game. Our end game is not data harvesting. Ultimately, whatever we’re doing, whether it’s making gender affirming products or lesbian content, we’re here to serve our community. Our legal team is currently reviewing an updated privacy policy that addresses all the above concerns in greater depth. This will be published within the week. We hope this was clarifying and helpful, but do feel free to thread any questions.
The Comment Awards Are Waving to Alison Bechdel
Hi there, merpeople! Just a week ago I was bobbing like a cork in Lake Michigan, yesterday I swam laps at the gym, and today I jumped in the creek! Summer SAD (or, as I like to call it, my Summertime Sadness) can’t possibly get me if I’m always in the water! Because, true fact, Summer SAD can’t swim. That’s my theory and I’m stickin’ to it.
Me with my summer fling: Lake Michigan
This week brought the triumphant return of TIRTIL!
Stef, or as I like to call them, Coach Stef, set out in search of the perfect energy drink.
This was very good: I Still Pray After I Masturbate.
Ro spoke to the proud pervs filling a hole (so to speak) in the sex toy market with new gender-inclusive company Bedroom Besties.
KKU helped out a reader who isn’t sure how many plus ones (and plus-twos and plus-threes) to include with their wedding invites!
Drew knows: you’re gonna want to watch Jinkx Monsoon’s new comedy special.
Dani Janae doesn’t drink any more. Here are ten better (and different) ways she spends her money.
And for Uncommon Pairings, Ashni broke down the deal with labels — wine labels, to be exact.
And then there were your comments!
The Column of our Dreams Award to Riese:
On “Dykette” Has Plenty of High Femme Camp Antics:
The Hi, Butch, I’m Dad Award to Butch:
The Commenters to Watch Out For Award to…Alison Bechdel(?!), Tt, and Nova Duarte Martinez:
On 10 Things I Spend My Money on Now That Isn’t Drugs or Alcohol:
The Mixed Nuts Award to Maart:
On FYP: If You’re Queer You’ll Never Make It To The Function On Time:
The Early Bird Gets the Girl Award to :):
On Pop Culture Fix: Watch Lizzo and Sasha Flute Bring the Whole Damn Deal to The Simpsons:
The Flung Out of…The Garden Award to PJLorens:
And on Dykes on Dates: A Chill, Food-Filled Day on the Upper West Side
The My Wife, the Titanosaur Award to KatieRainyDay:
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
Countdown to Pride: New Autostraddle Merch and 20% Off Everything!
I know you’ve been planning for Pride 2023 since Pride 2022 because you are just that gay, but get ready to add a few more things to that shopping list because we’ve got NEW MERCH just in time for your sweaty summer shenanigans, plus 20% off everything in the store using the code AUTOPRIDE! (25% off if you’re an A+ member!! Join today!!)
PREORDER: New Tees — Shipping May 25th
PREORDER: Restocked Faves !!! — Shipping May 25th
Gay Chaos Tank
$26 $21
Lesberado Tee
$26 $21
Pride Essentials
Dykes Hat
$22 $18
Queer As Fuck Tee
$26 $21
Lavender Menace Tee
$26 $21
Who All’s Gay Here Hat
$22 $18
Peaches Socks
There’s also a Rockford Peaches tee! You love baseball! And queer television shows! $18 $15
Nonbinary Tee
$26 $21
So Many Stickers
This isn’t even all of them!!$4 – $5 $3.50 – $4
Queer Magnetic Words
A great gift! Could also be used as extremely removable graffiti. $18 $15
The Comment Awards Are Feeling Very Seen
Hi there, lizards and salamanders! I just got home from a long weekend visiting an old friend, and my heart is very full! I also swam in one of the Great Lakes, truly my own personal version of a spiritual experience. What a world we live in, pals! I’m so glad we’re here in it together!
This week, shea knows: Joy Oladokun’s album Proof of Life just might save your soul. I just put this album on, and it felt like slipping into an absolutely perfect hot spring.
How do YOU cut your brownies? (Unlike so many things we talk about, this…is not a euphemism.)
Everything about this makes me perfectly happy: Brittney Griner’s Teammates Rate Her Red Carpet Fits.
Carmen thinks you just might want to make a four-ingredient asparagus tart this weekend! Ya know, she’s not wrong!
Zooey Zephyr and Erin Reed are engayged! Love is not a lie!
For Queer Mom Chronicles, Sai wrote about being the only lesbian mom on the playground.
Jenni wrote about menopause and masturbation!
Niko watched Monica, a film about coming home that lets Trace Lysette absolutely shine. And honestly? This review is truly gorgeous in its own right.
Em helped out a reader whose friend keeps taking life too personally.
And last but certainly not least, from Carmen and the Speakeasy, Janelle Monáe’s “Lipstick Lover” Music Video Has Fully Melted Our Brains. IMPORTANT.
Then there were your comments!
On Four-Ingredient Asparagus Tart for Mothers Day (Or the Friend You Yell “Mother” at in the Chat):
The Seen and Eaten Award to Wrenne:
On Marcia Gay Harden Makes Olympic Mommi Move, Says ALL Her Kids Are Queer:
The Marcia Queer Harden Award to April:
On Let It All Out: The Technique Helping Me Get Through My First Queer Breakup:
The See Julia Write. Write, Julia, Write! Award to Lara:
The MILF Taxonomy Award to winged-mammal:
On Mini Crossword Included You on That Email:
The More of This Award to KatieRainyDay:
On 10 Books To Read in the Bathtub:
The Rub a Dub Dub? Award to Gen and @caitrw:
And on Chrishell Stause and G Flip Are Full-On Married One Year After Announcing Relationship:
The In a Nutshell Award to Selket:
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
The Comment Awards Are Living Their Truth
Hey hi hello there, friends! Do you need to see some pictures of my dog Milo frolicking in a mud puddle today? I thought you might!
This week, Kayla knows which movies the Yellowjackets should catch up on when they get home.
Read this, from Lily: Autism Is Not a Trend, but There Are Problems With How It’s Discussed Online.
Dani Janae spoke to Caroline Rose about their latest album.
Love romance novels? Into the Gaylor rumors? You might want to read this fun, layered romance about queer pop stars!
You’re gonna want to read this excerpt from A Recipe for More.
Here are some ways you can support the TV writers’ strike!
For Dykes on Dates, consider tacos.
And then there were your comments!
On Boobs on Your Tube: Alycia Debnam-Carey’s Best Friend Is Queer in “Saint X”:
The Plant Baby Rep Award to Plant:
The Never Let Go Award to Charlotte:
On Quiz: Which Cannibal Are You?
The Play’s the Thing Award to vensey and Rachel:
On Every Scrap of Queer Fashion from the 2023 Met Gala:
The Good as Hell Award to Charlotte:
On “The Ultimatum: Queer Love” Has Blessed Us With Cast Details, Full-Length Trailer, More Pics:
The I Love Mess Award to Cleo and Cass:
And on Rainbow Reading: The Book With “The Most Hilarious Disaster Bisexuals You’ll Ever Meet”:
The Hey Hi Hello Award to Dahlia:
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
The Comment Awards Are Turning Into Butterflies
Hi there, caterpillars! Instagram showed me a sunglasses ad the other day where the model was wearing butterfly clips in their hair. BUTTERFLY CLIPS. We truly have come full-circle from 1997, friends. Seventh grade Queer Girl would be shocked and amazed. Also their scalp would kind of hurt because SO MANY BUTTERFLY CLIPS! Brb, I’m off to zig-zag part my hair and find a high-necked, faux satin spaghetti strap tank top to wear to the school dance!
This week, KKU reviewed Dead Ringers, the Rachel-Weisz-playing-twins thriller from Amazon. This show was REALLY something!!!!
Riese knows which early ’00s movie made you gay! My own personal answer is ALL OF THEM.
It’s National Poetry Month, and A. Tony’s got eight new queer collections you need to read!
I loved this, from Niko: Reimagining My Closet After Coming Out of It.
Oh! I also loved this, from Sai! Calling Myself a Lesbian Has Been a Lesson in Self Acceptance.
How did you celebrate Lesbian Visibility Day? Ever on-brand, Heather brought us the 20 TV moments that changed lesbian history (and the topography of my own heart) forever.
Here’s Liv Hewson calling out the issue with gendered Emmys categories.
For Blush and Bashful, Vanessa’s got some important tips for saving money on your wedding!
And then there were your comments.
The Good Clean Fun Award to Pallas:
On 10 Hot Things You Can Do to Boobs, Chests, and Nipples:
The Deeply Considered Horniness Award to Sollemnia:
The Yup! Award to Sea:
On Calling Myself a Lesbian Has Been a Lesson in Self Acceptance:
The K-I-S-S-I-N-G Award to Snaelle:
The Uh! Huh! Her! Award to Angie:
On Pop Culture Fix: Butch Lesbian Bro Che Diaz Is Back in “And Just Like That” Season 2 Trailer:
The Porter for President Award to Lindsey Sealey and msanon:
And on Five More Cronenberg Remakes That Should Star Rachel Weisz as a Lesbian:
The Too True Award to Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya:
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
The Comment Awards Are Shimmering in the Sun
Hi there peaches! Has anyone else had the Tiktok fish song stuck in their head for a full week now? Just me? CAN’T BELIEVE I CAUGHT ONE.
This week, if you plan a murder mystery party, KKU knows what kind of Wife Guy you are!
I really, really love when Dani Janae writes about music and life.
Abeni reviewed Any Other City, the sexy new novel from Hazel Jane Plante. My TBR list is growing!!!!!
Drew helped out a reader whose partner can’t (or won’t) say “I love you.”
A.Tony will watch anything where survivors make their own justice, and SO WILL I.
Ashni is here to teach us about wine!
Because it’s never too late to celebrate 420, choose your home decor and Anya will tell you what movie you should watch while stoned!
Roku’s new show Slip is here, and Shelli Nicole is happy to report that it gets very, very gay!
And then there were your comments.
On Thank You, Ex: For the Baseball Jersey I Wore Constantly as a Baby Gay:
The Like, So Gay Dude Rites of Passage Award to BB gay:
On Ranking The National Songs by How Much I’ve Cried to Them:
The Inspiration Award to onetobeamup:
On Guessing Game: Poem Form Preferred By Serial Killers:
The AI Could Never Award to Cameron:
On You Need Help: My Partner Won’t Say “I Love You”:
The Olive Juice Award to ruralqueerfolkie:
On 25 Lines of Poetry I Think About Once a Day:
The Bonus Verse Award to Dani:
On Pop Culture Fix: Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie to Face Off in “Maude v Maude”:
The Spy vs. Spy Award to Serena:
On Quiz: Choose Your Home Decor and I’ll Tell You What Movie You Should Watch While Stoned Tonight!
The Ogres Are Like Onions (Are Like Queers) Award to Pallas:
And finally, revisiting 25 Lines of Poetry I Think About Once a Day:
The Participation Trophy Award to John the Strait, because he made me laugh (this is an extra award and has not taken up space from you beautiful queers):
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
The Comment Awards Just Want to See Some Kissing on TV
Hi there, muffins! I hope you’re having a fantastic week! I went roller skating for the first time in about twelve years last night, and my respect for Derby players, which was always healthy, has just shot up to the HIGHEST levels. The skating was fine. But the falling? I’m so stiff today I feel like the Tin Man. IT WAS FUN THOUGH!
This week, Niko wrote about The Legend of Zelda, and the mirror it held up each time Link awoke in an unexpected place.
This headline made me laugh out loud: Let’s Check In on Riverdale’s Final Season, Set Inexplicably in the 1950s.
Sai doesn’t want to be a parenting influencer, for this week’s Queer Mom Chronicles.
The Owl House has wrapped up, but the series finale was adorably gay!
KKU knows: You should be watching Beef on Netflix.
For You Need Help, Heather wrote to a reader whose new date needs medical help!
These Queer-Friendly Gyms Provide Safe and Welcoming Places To Move Your Body. I want to go to all of them!
For I’ll Watch Anything, Carmen wrote about the vital and too-rare experience of getting to see Black queer characters kiss.
And then there were your comments!
On Queer Mom Chronicles: I Don’t Want To Be a Parenting Influencer:
The Visibility Matters Award to shamblebot:
On “The Owl House” Ends With a Gloriously Gay Sendoff:
The Catharsis Award to Stacey:
On Guessing Game: Gay Origin Story:
The Deep Roots Award to Evi K and Rio:
On Netflix’s Beef Is Very Stressful — It’s Also an Incredible Work of Art:
The Cathartic Chaos Award to Cxfergus:
On I’ll Watch Anything Where the Black Girls Kiss:
The See It, Be It Award to Dani:
On “Ted Lasso” Confirms That Bisexual Character’s Bisexuality!
The Scandal Award to Sally:
And on Gutter Talk: Republicans Are in Their X-Men Villain Era:
The Extra! Extra! Award to lunavolcano:
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
The Comment Awards Are Playing Creatively With Barbie Dolls
Hi gays! Last night I went to a school board meeting where a bunch of queer people got to scream at a terrible congressman and I’m still all fired up, honestly cannot recommend it ENOUGH. My heart is full today and local government’s to blame! What a wild turn of events!
Were you around for Undeadstraddle on April 1st? KKU wrote about the zombie bite that changed her life, the girl with the green ribbon stopped by, Fright Dyke had some important words on Vampire erasure, and more!
Also this week, Heather knew which D&D class is your sexuality.
Vanessa would like to thank her ex for teaching her there’s nothing more punk than saving for retirement.
Samantha had these words on polyamory and pelvic health!
Yashwina spoke to Danny Lavery about giving advice and his new Dear Prudence book.
Listen: if a movie is queer and was made before 2000, Drew’s gonna watch it.
I loved this piece from Sai: At the Passover Table, New Traditions Will Be Born.
Mo’Nique dives into the complex world of queer desire in her latest Netflix special!
And for Dykes on Dates, Kayla and Kristen went on a bunch of dates with…Kayla’s parents! What a ride.
And then there were your comments!
On Spring Edit: Must-Have Accessories for Your Next Queer Picnic:
The Seems Stabby Award to lastminutelulu:
On Pop Culture Fix: Drag Race Star Jinkx Monsoon Is Doctor Who’s New Queer Pal:
The Save Cherie Jaffe Award to shamblebot:
The Munchies Award to whiskeycoffee:
On Mae Martin on “Sap,” Camping, and Finding Queer Community:
The Making Moose Happen Award to Nova Duarte Martinez:
On Pop Culture Fix: Kate McKinnon’s Safety Scissors Haircut Barbie Is My New Favorite Doll:
The Pit of Doom Award to Nova Duarte Martinez and cleo:
And the Throwback Award to magic mudpuppy:
On Celebs Share Good Dishes To Get Through Bad Times In “Recipe for Disaster”:
The Niche Content Award to eliz:
And on Dykes on Dates: Parents Weekend:
The Love is All You Need Award to
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
The Comment Awards Are Chewing the Ice
Hey hi hello fireflies! I know this has been a rough week for a lot us! Maybe you can find some joy in this incomplete list of things that made me happy this week:
- The description of the ASL sign for “good friend,” from the ASL dictionary my class uses: Link your index fingers to show a bond. Pull it forward twice to show the bond is not easily broken.
- Baked potatoes
- Remembering that nobody is stopping me from listening to the same bands I listened to in high school, and cranking up the Cake
- Always and forever, browsing back archives of the Poetry Is Not a Luxury Instagram account
- Watching couples with matching aesthetics walk through Target together
- All of you helping Autostraddle to EXCEED ITS MOTHERF*CKING FUNDRAISING GOALS
- The cuteness of the word “chickpea”
- And last but not least, Milo and Possum, true BFFs:
photo by Possum’s dad and intrepid photographer Canyon
This week, The L Word: Generation Q was canceled. Whomp whomp! We’ll always have season one, Finley on that bike, Sophie and Finley stepping closer to one another in the hospital corridor…sigh. And we’ll always have Riese’s recaps!
For Thank You, Ex, A. Tony thanked an old partner for one (1) pair of ghost hands.
From Niko: Fictional Women I Wished I Had Been as a Young Closeted Trans Girl. Relating to these women, especially Deb from Empire Records, is a MOOD.
Shelli Nicole had some advice for a reader who kind of messed up with a married friend.
Stef had this dispatch from the Florida educational system.
Read this: Gutter Talk: On the X-Men and Visibility.
Heather had some advice for readers who are living with Long Covid.
For this week’s Blush and Bashful, guest columnist Kristen wrote all about eloping!
And then there were your comments!
On Fictional Women I Wished I Had Been as a Young Closeted Trans Girl:
The 10 Roots I Love About You Award to Jess:
On Picdoku: Generation O(riginal Cast):
The Sex Sex Sex Award to kat and Lydia:
On I’ll Watch Anything With a Toxic Mentor/Mentee Dynamic:
The One Hit Wonder Award to shamblebot:
On What Your Preferred Type of Ice Says About How You Seek Pleasure:
The Parent Ever After Award to Sarah:
On Guessing Game: Where Queer Meet Cutes Are Unleashed:
The Parking Lot of (No) Return Award to Linnea and Cleo:
On Every Generation Q Sex Scene, Ranked:
The Cameo Award to Katherine O’Keefe:
And on Also.Also.Also: Oh Trump Got Indicted:
The Late Breaking News Award to @caitrw:
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queer girl.
Thank You Thank You Thank You – Today Is Our Last Day of the Fundraising Drive
At the time of writing this, we’re officially past $211k, which my spreadsheet tells me is 120% of our original goal and which my heart tells me is an unbelievable, humbling experience.
This fundraising total is heavy with the weight of the trust you all have placed in us, with the knowledge that now, the funds have been more or less raised and it’s time to continue to do right by you, to do better, to keep going. Thank you, though, for this weight. We will proudly carry it.
Riese, when I asked her how she felt about our fundraising total with the vibe of a local reporter holding out a microphone, said:
“It feels incredible to see this outpouring of support for our ongoing existence — for helping us meet our goal in 4 days and then exceed it by over 36k! Your notes on the donor box wall are like blankets for our hearts, which do sometimes get a little cold. But right now we are warm.”
We’re fundraising until the end of the day today (or, realistically, until I get in tomorrow morning and shut everything off), so this is the very last period of time in which you can get those fundraiser perks and contribute to the total of this fundraiser, if you’re able to and want to contribute. Every dollar will go towards continuing to run this site, which, for the most part, means that your gay dollars will be used to pay our queer team to continue to make queer media.
Thank you for everything you’ve done and anything you continue to do.
Some Facts About the Fundraiser (Which is Not Quite Over Yet!)
- There have been, so far, about 3,000 donations and, counted separately but still toward the goal, over 250 new A+ members. Thank you to everyone who has financially supported with a donation or signed up for A+ or both!
- It took us less than five days, from fundraiser launch on March 15th to March 19th for you all to get us to our initial goal of $175,000.
- Since then, within the two weeks, we decided to stick to for the fundraiser, you all have raised over $36,000 additional gay dollars for Autostraddle, bringing our total at the time of this writing to $211,126. That’s 120% of the original goal.
- Of the 250 new A+ members, the most popular level to join was also our most affordable, Cobalt, with 106 people opting to join for either $4 a month or $30 a year.
- 71% of donations to this fundraiser were $50 or less.
The Breakdown of Fundraiser Donations (Does Not Include A+)
It’s no Viv chart but it does tell us what we need to know.
This money represents so many things. It represents your trust, our ability to continue to pay our people and to pay queer and trans writers for their contributions to the site, to continue to pay on time. Being majority reader-funded also means that we can make editorial decisions with our community’s best interests at heart, not some corporate overlord. It’s cyclical. You’ve demonstrated, beyond our wildest dreams, that you think we’re worth keeping around, and in turn, we’re here and ready to work for you. I feel like you all have handed me something unbelievably precious to care for — a baby unicorn, a shooting star, a living breathing flame.
For now, know that you are doing the impossible and that therefore that means it is, in fact, possible. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Love and love and love again,
Nico
The Comment Awards Are Definitely Not Cannibals
Hi there, seastars! Did you know that you — yes, you — have raised over $196,000 during the Autostraddle fundraiser? You’re amazing!!!!!!!!!!! Here is Milo, running in to celebrate!
This week, Kayla knows which gay party bus you belong on!
Em would like to thank that one ex for the great ring dish that reminds her she’s hot.
For this week’sYou Need Help, sex therapist Aliyah Moore wrote to a reader who’s dealing with some shame around sex.
Shelli Nicole knows: you NEED to watch Kristen Kish’s new Netflix show.
Need a campy new show? Class of ’07 just might be it!
From Dani Janae: Death Cab for Cutie Songs I’ve Cried To, Ranked.
Ro brought us some tips for fingering when you have chronic pain in your hands!
Autostraddle’s March Madness continues with these tropey wives.
And then there were your comments!
On Guessing Game: Endangered Species:
The Where Everybody Knows Your Name Award to Chess:
On Bravo Dyke Reacts to the Vanderpump Rules Midseason Trailer:
The Icon Award to Kris H:
On I’ll Watch Anything With Witchy Women:
The Maybe We’re The Weirdos, Mister Award to Sollemnia:
On GLAAD Report Confirms Cancellations Are Killing The Vibe For LGBTQ+ TV Characters:
The Site of Their Own Award to Nayeem:
On Death Cab for Cutie Songs I’ve Cried To, Ranked:
The Sad White Man Music Award to Dann:
On Dykes on Dates: Sometimes Date Night Is Just Chips, Dips, and a Drink Tasting:
The Buzz Buzz Award to Nova Duarte Martinez:
And on How to Finger Your Partner When You Have Chronic Pain in Your Hands:
The Fists Up Award to Mat:
See a comment that needs to be here? Let me know! Tag me [at] queergirl.
Queerness Is Messy, I Am Messy and That’s a Very Good Thing
The first time I thought about my queerness, I mean really thought about it, I was sixteen years old. I’d just masturbated for the first time. I’d had an orgasm (also my first), and as I lay limp in the steadily cooling bath water, I considered what images had gotten me off: women’s forms, warbled body parts and bleary faces struck senseless by ecstasy; a mosaic of the mind that mostly resembled scrambled porn. These were not the bodies I was supposed to be thinking about. I mean, I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about bodies at all! God wanted me to keep my thoughts pure for marriage (hadn’t I signed that True Love Waits card? Wasn’t it on file, somewhere in the dusty bowels of the Southern Baptist Convention Center?) But if I was going to think about a body at all, shouldn’t it be that of my future Christian husband? But I hadn’t considered that future spouse at all. In my garbled fantasies, it had been my own hands doing the guiding – touching other women – and the jolt of this realization struck me like a sucker punch to the chest. Oh no, I’d thought. I burst into hectic, horrified tears.
Coming out was a messy, confusing process. By the time I was ready to admit to myself that I was gay, I’d already given birth to a child. I had my son when I was eighteen years old, still wildly unsure about anything in my life, other than the fact I was not doing what I was supposed to be doing. I was not behaving in a way that made any sense to my Conservative Evangelical family, who’d envisioned a Godfearing husband for me and a life of service in the church. I was not behaving in ways that made any sense to myself. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew that I had to do something. To support myself and my son, I began working full time at a public library. I lived this way for nearly all of my twenties, closeted and overwhelmed and depressed — certain nothing would change. Finally, I began taking night classes at a nearby college that offered a scholarship for single mothers. I was broke and I was afraid and I was still very, very confused about my sexuality. I needed answers. It was time to do some research.
That’s my librarian’s mind in action, I think; that scavenging part of my brain that wants to mine sense from the chaos. If I could do research for library patrons, surely I could do that same kind of work for myself. I could excavate my queerness and understand it. I’d pin down exactly who I was and figure out what I really wanted.
But how? The small public library in Florida where I worked was severely lacking in LGBTQ+ references. And I had so many questions. Where was I even supposed to start? How to fuck someone the right way, perhaps. How to fall in love with a woman even though I’d never been able to enjoy the queerest, most hidden parts of myself. Since I couldn’t find what I needed in the stacks, I finally turned to the internet. And holy shit, there was a ton of gay stuff online! Piles of it, stacks of references, comics and articles and stories and fanfiction and essays and bulleted lists. Way too much information, I quickly realized. And not all of it was usable or correct. Most of it wasn’t remotely helpful.
And then I found Autostraddle.
I can remember exactly where I was when I found help: sitting hunched over my ancient library computer, cutting out stacks of cardstock dolphins for an upcoming Storytime. When I clicked on a link from my chaotic Google search (something having to do with The L Word, I’m 99% sure), I wasn’t sure what I’d find. But right away I knew Autostraddle was something special. They seemed to have everything I needed as a confused queer person. I found answers to questions I hadn’t even thought to ask! There was plenty of writing about sex, but there was also information on how to talk to other gay women. How to make queer friends! How to find and watch queer television. How to make queer art. And there were so many jokes! Gay people were funny! I initially hoarded this information like a squirrel with a particularly tasty nut, thrilled to finally feel like I was part of something bigger than myself. But then I shared Autostraddle with other people, which made it even better. I began to find joy in my queerness. I found love for myself and for the large, wonderful, startling queer world around me. I found community.
My work as a writer has always been centered on queerness. I’m a lesbian and my writing is gay; these things are inextricably linked. It would have been impossible for me to write the novels and stories that I’ve created without the help of Autostraddle. They were there for me when I was at my loneliest and my most closeted. Autostraddle made it feel okay to laugh at myself. They reassured me that it was okay to make mistakes. Queerness is messy. I am messy. And that’s a very good thing.
Every time I give to Autostraddle, I am giving to my present self, but I’m also giving to the Kristen who was deeply afraid and lonely. I’m giving back to the version of me that had so many questions and so few answers. By giving to Autostraddle, you are supporting the future of queer media, but you’re also supporting the younger, scared version of yourself. The less-wise you who needed help and support and finally found it. All the versions of us fit neatly together like nesting dolls. Autostraddle is for all of them: past, present, and future.
Signing up for an A+ membership was one of the easiest decisions I ever made.
I’m happy to give to Autostraddle, continually, year after year. Without them, this letter never could have found its way to you. Autostraddle is currently fundraising for their survival, not just for the next couple months, but for as long as they can get. Every dollar extends the time until they will run into danger. I hope you’ll join me in supporting Autostraddle today. It’s never felt more important to give back to our community.
Because it’s ours, isn’t it? Messy and wonderful and alive. And that’s worth saving.
Who Else Is Going To Publish a History of Lesbian Cheerleaders?
Earlier this year, I published a massive piece of cultural criticism all about the Queerleader. This project features a timeline of every significant moment from film and television featuring a lesbian or bisexual cheerleader I could find as well as extensive commentary on why I think people love this particular archetype. I researched the history of cheerleading itself, touched on the prominence of queer stories set in homosocial settings, sifted through a lot of porn in search results for “lesbian cheerleader”, watched some truly bonkers 1970s sexploitation films, and read old articles and books about the stereotypes people associate with cheerleaders. The work took about three months to produce.
But this wasn’t always the plan.
When I initially pitched this piece, we were gearing up for the fundraising drive last fall, in 2022. Carmen, Heather, Riese, and I were trying to come up with clicky, traffic-friendly pieces to run during that fundraiser, since historically our traffic can take a hit during fundraising periods. Nico predicted it would take around four weeks for us to meet our goal, possibly longer, based on past data. We wanted to have some quick hit pieces to run during those weeks, so I threw out this idea: The Hottest Queer Cheerleader Moments From Film and Television. This was then refined to a “History of the Queerleader post that’s a detailed timeline of gay cheerleading moments in film and TV.” But even with that more specific framing, I was under the impression this would be a low lift, high traffic project. I was going for “clicky” not “complex.”
Then, instead of taking weeks to meet our fundraising goal, it took five days.
I backburnered “History of the Queerleader” because its original purpose became less urgent. I was still wrapping up the Horror Is So Gay series and gearing up for another time-consuming editorial project — the Holigays — on top of my other usual responsibilities. While editor jobs at Autostraddle are rare compared to others in the industry in the sense that we still get to write ourselves a lot (and in fact are required to do so), the writing projects I do tend to be shorter pieces. It’s hard to make time for something more sprawling or multifaceted, especially a project that requires not only research but also watching a lot of media. I had to do a lot of weekend and evening work, for example, to collaborate with Drew on Autostraddle’s 25 Scariest Queer Horror Movie Moments. But it was work I wanted to do, work I felt passionate about.
Go to the extended fundraiser!
And that’s exactly what the Queerleader project had turned into, too: a passion project. When I slowed down my work on it instead of focusing on pumping out something quick for clicks, I discovered so many new layers to the story I was trying to excavate. I got my hands on academic papers, books, and lesser-known movies. I went back to episodes of television from my youth. I put together thoughts on my own personal relationship with cheerleaders and on-screen depictions of them. The project grew and grew because it had the time and space to do so, which would not have been possible without the outpour of reader support during the fall 2022 fundraiser. Instead of having to scramble for content to keep the calendar afloat during the fundraiser, we were scrambling to keep up with the overwhelming enthusiasm from our readers that led to a speedy whirlwind of a fundraiser, and let me tell ya, the latter is a much better “problem” to have.
But there’s another side to this. What if the fundraiser had taken longer and I’d started working more quickly on the Queerleader post but then realized it was indeed too big of a project to crank out fast? I know exactly what would have happened: I would have gone to my fellow editors and said: “Look, I actually think I need more time to make this the best it can be. Can I wait to work on it in early 2023 and come up with a different, actually low lift project to replace it with this week?”
They all would have said yes. They would have said yes because they trust me to know the scope of a project. They would have said yes because ultimately our primary goal here at Autostraddle is not producing “clicky” content — even though we do have to do so in order to survive — but work that is meaningful to and informative for our communities.
We are here to produce the best of the best queer pop culture criticism, important archival work, and deep-dives on niche topics that matter to our readers.
When I shifted the scope and depth of the Queerleaders project, I secretly worried no one would read it. It’s nearly 6,000 words long. Or I worried people would click and then wander away after the lengthy intro. I was very wrong! My first tweet about the piece blew up, and the comments started flooding in, people engaging in a way that immediately signaled they had read the whole thing, and closely. Some people even helpfully submitted additions that I went back and included. To date, it has 74 comments, and the only other work I put out last year that regularly broke 50 comments were my Yellowjackets recaps.
It’s not lost on me that the majority of those 74 comments on the Queerleader piece came from A+ members. Every day, our members go beyond just their continued financial support for the site. The Yellowjackets recaps are also hugely popular with members. I know that sometimes part of this job means having to think about numbers-based things like traffic and that can sometimes get in the way of creativity and passion, but this project is such a perfect example that these don’t always need to be mutually exclusive categories. My passion here overlapped with passion from our readers and members, and it resulted in a piece I was proud of and that also performed well even by our simplest metrics.
And that’s not to say that pieces that don’t do as well traffic-wise perform that way due to a lack of passion. Quite often, the pieces I’m proudest to write or edit don’t do big numbers, maybe get a handful of comments and that’s it. But what I’m saying is that here at Autostraddle, we don’t stick to one definition of success. Other outlets will occasionally take chances on “weird” content but then also treat that kind of content like there’s a quota on it. There’s constantly room for weird, out-there, imaginative, niche content at Autostraddle, and sometimes we might know a piece isn’t going to do huge numbers but we also prioritize it because we know we’re the only place that will publish something like it. When you give us money, you’re helping to ensure that your gay dollars go to our gay passion projects, whether they’re big numbers pieces or not. You’re making it so that some of our big ideas have space to grow into something even bigger. You’re making it so that we don’t have to obsess over what our traffic means for advertising revenue as much. You’re ensuring that we can do more work exactly like the Queerleaders piece, and believe me, I want to! I want to do a version of this piece for queer witches, vampires, and more. At a small, indie operation like Autostraddle, I can say that the more funds we raise, the less we have to remain hyper-vigilant about our own survival, the more we can concentrate on the core of our work, the sooner I can get these projects out into the world, the more I can do the kind of erotic-academic work I love to do but that takes time, research, and creativity.
We hit our goal, but the fundraiser is extending because we’re still on thin ice, because the future is still uncertain, and because very gay dollar you donate will help us be less afraid as we continue into the rest of the year and face whatever we gotta face. But, I think we can do this, whatever this year asks of us, we can meet head on as a team. Won’t you be our Queerleaders by rallying behind us with support? And have you SEEN the But I’m A Queerleader sticker that’s part of this year’s fundraiser perks?!
We’re fundraising until March 29th to help keep Autostraddle here, queer, all year. If you can, will you give or join A+? A+ members can join me for a Yellowjackets season two premiere watch-a-long on Friday, where we can be the queerleaders for our fav team of cannibal soccer girlies. Join me?