Time Out New York Wants You To Date Gabby

Vanessa’s Team Pick:

Are you in love with Autostraddle’s very own Gabrielle Rivera? That’s a rhetorical question because duh. Gabby writes poetry and gives the best life advice and finds amazing photos of Beyoncé. She’s honest and kind and respectful. She’s smooth and soulful and perfect. Did I mention she is dapper as fuck? Basically Gabby is the best and I assume you all want to date her. Lucky for you, now you can! I mean, not that you couldn’t before…but this time it’s pretty official.

I am pleased to announce that Gabby is in Time Out New York’s January roundup of single women seeking women in NYC, and that means that not only do we get to hear her idea of a perfect date, but you actually have the opportunity to go on a date with her. I guess you have to live in New York for this to apply to you, but honestly if you wanted to fly in from a faraway destination I wouldn’t blame you. So what’s Gabby’s idea of a perfect date? Here’s what she told Time Out:

We’d ride bikes around Governors Island, flop down on the lawn for a picnic and grab some Blue Marble ice cream, then take the ferry back to the city and part ways to freshen up. We’d meet up later in Morningside Heights, eat at Toast and drink some craft beer. We’d walk it off along Broadway and if it was a Friday, head down to Hot Rabbit to dance our asses off. Finally we’d part ways and walk off tired and thinking about each other.

Swoon.

photo by Marielle Solan

You Should Go: Queer & Utter Bedlam Werks Those Pecs

feature image contributed by Grace Chu

Hey New Yorkers, what are you up to tomorrow night? I know we’re perpetually expecting a “wintery mix” and I know the past week has been freezing, but that’s all the more reason to grab life by the collar and say, “I will have fun, damn it!” Right?

i had to use this photo because that’s my friend alison looking adorable in the background but these people could ostensibly be saying “RIGHT!”
photo by grace chu

If you’re with me on the whole grab life by the collar bit, you’re in luck, because there’s an intimate queer blow out going down in Manhattan tomorrow night — yes, you read that right. Manhattan. As in, not Brooklyn. I know. It’s wild! My friends Ryley (who you may recognize from Straddler on the Street) and Sam are spearheading the event with their respective passion projects — Queer and Utter Bedlam and Werk Those Pecs — and here’s what they told me about tomorrow’s party.

Queer and Utter Bedlam and Werk Those Pecs are both parties that are designed to give back to the community. Q&UB raises money for a variety of queer-related projects led by queer humans, and WTP is a tri-annual event that helps people in the community fundraise for top surgeries. The groups are joining forces this week to launch what will be both the first Q&UB of 2013 and a preview for the second WTP party, which will happen on February 16.

Here’s some info about tomorrow night directly from the organizers:

Werk Those Pecs prides itself on throwing hot parties which ALSO act as aggressive fundraisers toward expensive and life-changing surgeries for a chosen benefit-ee. At Queer and Utter Bedlam we’ll introduce Devin Norelle, the benefit-ee of the upcoming Werk Those Pecs party. The Q&UB and WTP crews will be there displaying photographs, premiering artwork, and answering questions about being genderqueer and/or non-binary-identified, as well as raising preliminary funds for Devin’s top surgery. – Sam

There will be art. And go go dancing. And queer literature. And a pamphlet about the common misconceptions about being gender queer written by yours truly and one of our hosts Norelle. It’s going to be magical. – Ryley

If you want to get in on the magic, you know what to do — head to Bedlam on Avenue C tomorrow night at 9pm and say fuck you to the cold weather and fuck yes to everything queer and wonderful.

Queer & Utter Bedlam Werk’s Those Pecs starts at 9pm on Tuesday, January 29 at Bedlam, 40 Avenue C, Manhattan, New York.

Queer & Utter Bedlam, founded by Ryley Pogensky, is a bi-monthly party in the heart of the Lower East Side in Manhattan. It is a space for queers of all walks to get together, get their dance on, get wasted, and most importantly network. Come with your new projects. Your arts. Your new ventures. Share with your community.

Werk Those Pecs, founded by Jason Hill and Samuel Aaron Leon, is a movement that aims to increase visibility and awareness of transgender issues within the wider queer community. Each event aims to raise money for trans* surgeries, support LGBT businesses, and showcase queer musicians & DJs. Their next fundraising party, for Devin Norelle, will be on February 16 at SLATE on West 21st Street in Manhattan. For more information find them on Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr.

Maggie Keenan-Bolger On Being A Queer Lady In Musical Theater

The holidays can be an interesting time for anyone, but I feel that it is particularly strange for queer people. Many of us have to leave our gay-mecca cities and return to towns where all the bars are named after small animals. The last LezCab was all about coming home, or out, at Christmas. It was a super festive and delightfully fun show with some singer-songwriters and pop artists thrown into the mix. The case also performed a funny and polished song from Lesbian Love Octagon. I meandered around backstage, caught up with the performers and creepily watched them from the wings. Here is a glimpse behind the scenes at the December LezCab:

Here is a clip of the song “Ubiquitous Ex-Girlfriend” from Lesbian Love Octagon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rrTbpBz-ZjU

This month’s actor experience comes from Maggie Keenan-Bolger. I’ve been working with Maggie on her show The Birds and the Bees Unabridged, which goes up the last week of March. She is a mover and shaker in the theatre world as well as the political scene. I feel that you can tell a lot about a person from their bookshelf and hers is filled with young adult novels, gender studies texts and Sarah Waters novels. I ‘ve had some awesome whiskey-driven conversations with this girl and I’m happy to have her here to share some of her experiences as a queer lady in music theatre.

Maggie Keenan-Bolger perfecting her inner 9-year old in a Theaterworks production of Charlotte’s Web (actual age, 28)

Maggie: Whenever anyone mentions the anomaly of queer women in music theatre, I usually reply with some variation of “Oh, you mean all three of us?” Indeed, having done hundreds of shows from the time I was 5, I have to think pretty darn hard to come up with a time when I wasn’t the only out queer lady in the cast.

Thanks to my unusually small stature, this wasn’t really too much of a problem until I hit college. My usual character age-range ran somewhere between 10-16 so it was unusual that I had to play romantically opposite anyone. But when I got to college, my professors declared that my goal for the upcoming four years was to “learn how to play an adult.” What they should have said was that my goal was actually to “learn how to play heterosexual romantic leads.”

Let’s face it; the roles for women in music theatre are pretty one-dimensional to begin with. Either you’re a pretty voice whose main objective is to support the story of the leading man, or a “quirky” character played mostly for laughs and comedic effect. These are obviously sweeping generalizations and there are some incredibly refreshing exceptions, but overall, this seems to be the trend.

And here’s the thing. I’m really bad at playing “romantic” with anyone. No matter what the gender! In college, it often seemed that no matter what I did, my own awkwardness and feelings about attraction and sexuality overrode any attempts at embodying another person. With boys, I’m so used to doing everything to avoid romantic advances, my characters turn cold and distant. With girls, I got so used to pretending to NOT have crushes on the girls in high school who I liked, as soon as the (albeit, more welcome) advances began I would start hopping around stage like a jackrabbit, terrified, excited and so, SO awkward. Now, I’ve known many a queer woman who can play romance like a pro, alas, I am not one of them. My professors did their best and by the end of my time in undergrad I could pull out “romantic lead” without getting an immediate case of the hives. That said, I missed being able to play characters who I didn’t feel like I was hiding in. Out of college, I soon discovered it was all for naught as miraculously I was still being cast primarily as teenagers in spite of my actual age. I also soon discovered that I could rarely go out for lesbian characters anyways; I was “too femme” to read queer and “too butch” to read hetero.

Maggie engaging in non-traditional casting as a father in the fantasticks

Thankfully, these days I have found a happy medium. I work with women, LGBT groups and young people around the city and we create our own characters. We devise theatre from the ground up, using our own ideas, experiences and opinions to shape the people we’re playing instead of archetypes and assumptions. It doesn’t mean it’s easy work, but at least I no longer feel like a square peg attempting to squeeze into a round hole (there’s a sexual innuendo in there, but I’m going to avoid it for now…). I’m never “too femme, butch, short, fat, blonde…” for any character, because women come in all varieties and I get to represent that instead. Ironically, I’ve been cast far more in traditional theatre since finding my niche creating out-of-the-box characters. It turns out, if you can walk into a casting room, be unapologetic about your long hair, big hips, and propensity to pass as a 16 year old, every now and then people buy into it, and decide you’re just right the way you are.

There is a certain level of ostracism that happens when you realize you are different from most of your peers, and it’s not that that can’t be played at by straight actors, it just feels even more gratifying when the actors of the characters you fall in love with have or are looking for female partners. It’s sort of like the girls obsessed with Mr. Bieber; he will not date many, if not any, of the girls who are obsessed with him, but there is that hope. They are in love with an image, but the image is based on truth.

My friend is astounded that I have read every lesbian novel and know every lesbian character on television. I feel that those two things are related, so is the fact that it is newsworthy that Sarah Paulson, a real live queer woman, is playing a queer character on television. All of these things are intertwined because it can feel isolating or lonely to notice that one is different or that one is not represented in the media the same way that others are. I read every young adult lesbian novel in the library because I wanted to see that maybe there were other girls feeling the way I did. I want to see that there are other actors out there that have dealt similar issues or maybe just want to sleep with other girls. In that search for love, there is a need to see that there is possibility and that either those girls that are like you have found love or that they might be looking for you.

Hope to see you on Sunday for the next LezCab! Here is a picture of all the beautiful ladies who will be featured.

LezCab Cast

You can make reservations for the January 20th LezCab here.

You Should Go: F To 7th Free Preview Screening And Launch Party

Hello friends, I am here to tell you another thing about F To 7th, the new lesbian webseries created by Ingrid Jungermann of The Slope. You may remember that I originally asked you to help Kickstart this series, and then last week I showed you an exclusive teaser video that included Amy Sedaris and all our favorite words. Now I’m going to tell you how you can see the webseries before it goes live on your computer screen, for exactly zero dollars! You just need to be in New York and free this Thursday night.

The Independent Filmmaker Project, the nation’s oldest and largest organization of independent filmmakers as well as the premier advocate for them, is hosting a free preview screening and party to celebrate the launch of F To 7th at the ReRun Gastropub Theater in Dumbo, Brooklyn. The event will include performances by cast and crew members including Ann Carr, Charles Rogers and the all-female NY improv troupe, Wicked City. Also I’ll be attending, possibly with Lemon but probably by myself, and I’m going to need somebody to sit with, so you have to come, okay?

If sitting next to me during the screening isn’t incentive enough to go, here’s a refresher about what this funny new webseries is all about.

A spin-off of the web series The Slope, F To 7th follows Ingrid as she struggles to find her place in a world where sexuality and gender have left her old-fashioned lesbianism behind. The eight-episode first season features guest spots by Amy Sedaris (Strangers With Candy), Michael Showalter (Wet Hot American Summer), and Gaby Hoffmann (Louie), each playing very different characters. Showalter plays a competitive dog owner with Isaiah Stokes (Louie) while Sedaris plays Ingrid’s conservative Aunt Kate who is a tad too interested in her sex life.

F To 7th premieres online on Monday, January 21; new episodes will air every Monday.

The free preview screening / launch party is on Thursday, January 17 at 7pm. ReRun Theater is located at 147 Front Street, Brooklyn, New York.

You Should Go: Writeous! Celebrates the Lesbian Writer’s Fund at NYC’s Greene Space

You may have caught my interview last month with Astraea’s executive director J. Bob Alotta. Those of you who commented were both excited and surprised to learn that, as Alotta wrote, “basically every heavy hitter in lesbian writing of the last 20 years” has been a part of their Lesbian Writer’s Fund.

Stick to your plan to get more involved in your community this year and join fellow queers this Friday, January 11th, for an evening of readings, performances, and music celebrating Astraea’s Lesbian Writer’s Fund. Proceeds from the event will support the Global LGBT Art’s Fund.

Writeous! will feature the words of Urvashi Vaid, Lenelle Moise, Staceyann Chin, and Jacqueline Woodson.  Quite an all star line up, this group includes both the fifth Poet Laureate of Northampton, Massachusetts, Moise; and  the Director of the Engaging Tradition Project at Columbia Law School’s Center for Gender and Sexuality Law, Vaid.

In addition to these artists and activists, the evening will offer the music of vocalist and composer Imani Uzuri. DJ Tikka Masala, whom you may know from That’s My Jam and deejaying the freaking White House, will DJ the event.

Please note the event has changed location to the Green Space! 

You can purchase your $20 tickets (no one turned away for lack of funds) at the door or online.

Venue is wheelchair accessible through ramp in rear courtyard. If you need any further information about accessibility, please email development@astraeafoundation.org

You Should Go: Subjectified Screening in Brooklyn

I don’t know about you, but I am forever complaining about the lack of women’s voices in conversations that center around women and sex. You’d think by being one of the subjects we’d automatically be considered one of the experts on the topic, but oh no, that would be way too reasonable. Instead we’re relegated to the background while society serves up images of what “sex” and “sexuality” mean in relation to women, and if we dare comment we’re deemed either a “slut” or a “prude” or my personal favorite, “crazy.” It really seems that despite placing the idea of women in the foreground of so many conversations about sex, nobody actually wants to hear from us what we think or feel about the matter. Until now.

Subjectified: Nine Young Women Talk about Sex from Melissa Tapper Goldman on Vimeo.

Subjectified: Nine Young Women Talk About Sex is a documentary directed and produced by Melissa Tapper Goldman that has a mission as straightforward as its title: allow women to talk about sex. No weird outside narrative. No horrific commentary from bros who want to argue the reality of rape culture. And no direction or restrictions on what can or cannot be said. This film is quite literally nine young women talking about sex. They are diverse and they are honest and they are perfect, not because I agree with everything they said (I don’t) and not because I see myself in each and every one (how could I?) but because they are talking openly about sex and in a world that makes a habit of telling women to shut up, the mere act of speaking up is revolutionary.

this cat has superb taste in documentaries
via subjectified kitty series

I guarantee you won’t agree with every word each woman utters, because they offer nine very different perspectives on an extremely personal subject, but I can also guarantee that you will be on the edge of your seat throughout the whole film, because the concept itself is so very exciting: nine young women talking about sex! It bears repeating over and over because it is so rare. This is a film wherein not one, not two, but nine young women are given a space to tell their stories. It is a response to the silence that usually shrouds this subject, not because women have nothing to say about sex but because we are actively silenced. Subjectified takes women out of the demeaning role of “object” and into the powerful role of “subject” and it is so satisfying and yet so simple, one wonders why it hasn’t been done before.

you do you
via subjectified

But it hasn’t, not really, and the truth in that statement becomes clearer as the film progresses. When women tell stories we are told we are over-indulgent or self-absorbed or frivolous or overshares. When men tell those same stories, slotting women in over and over as the same one-dimensional characters, they are lauded as honest and brave. This film, which is both honest and brave, uses a very simple medium to expose voices that are rarely heard, and it does so in a respectful and open way. Nothing about the interviews seems gratuitous or titillating for the sake of an audience, and the one-on-one format gives audience members the impression that the women speaking have been made to feel as comfortable as possible. Really, no matter how intimate the conversation becomes, the only feelings of awkwardness stem from the realization that women’s voices are rarely heard in the dialogue about sex, and yet they are essential.

If you’re interested in hearing these voices yourself and engaging with the filmmaker behind this project, you’re in luck! There will be a free screening followed by a Q&A with Melissa Tapper Goldman this Wednesday, December 5th at 7pm at the YWCA of Brooklyn, 30 3rd Avenue, Brooklyn, NY, co-sponsored by Subjectified and Sadie magazine. RSVP is preferred, but not required. If you’re unable to make the screening, never fear! There are many other ways you can engage with the film and its mission. Check out the “YOU!” tab on the film’s website to learn how to best use Subjectified as an individual learning tool and as a resource for campus groups, educators and institutions. 

You Should Go: LezCab New York City

If you’ve been craving a Broadway fix of the Sapphic kind, you’re going to be very excited to learn about LezCab, a monthly cabaret by, for, and about queer women. And if now you’re thinking, Hmmm, LezCab sounds familiar, it’s because the brand-new monthly event kicked off its awesomness during International Autostraddle Meetup Week, when Autostraddle’s very own risen star Haviland Stillwell performed and all proceeds went toward this very website and Unicorn Plan-It. This may be a brand new event on the New York City entertainment circuit, but it’s one you’re gonna want to get to know really fast, trust me!

Mary Kate Morrissey performing at LezCab October 2012
via Tracy Wise

The ladies behind LezCab are all MFA students in the Graduate Musical Theatre Writing Program at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts: there’s Grammy Award winning artist Thirza Defoe, librettist/lyricist and Autostraddle bruncher extraordinare Rachel Kunstadt, and composer, playwright, and musician Teresa Lotz. In their own words, the creators of LezCab say that the program “seeks to produce and host musical-theatre events by and about queer womyn in order to foster support and a forum for queer womyn in the musical theatre community,” but the vibe is super inclusive at the same time. “We’re creating a community here, not an elitist cult,” the FAQ page explains in response to a query about having to be a queer woman to participate. “If you’re an ally, you’re a part of this! We might not be singing songs about you, but you’re just as important to us!”

The inaugural LezCab boasted a packed house and was hosted by Maggie Keenan-Bolger. She will return to host November’s LezCab, which takes place next Monday, November 26th. That performance will feature In The Heights and Bring It On’s Stephanie Klemons, as well as many other talented queer women in the musical theatre community, from seasoned Broadway professionals to up-and-coming talent. It’ll be like Glee but with more openly queer characters, less horrific plot lines, and absolutely zero Ryan Murphy — plus it’ll be real life not teevee! Which is to say, it will be perfect. Have fun!

LezCab takes place next Monday, November 26th at The Duplex Cabaret and Piano Bar, located at 61 Christopher Street in the West Village. The performance begins at 9:30pm. Reservation required: call 212-255-5438 or visit www.theduplex.com. For more information, visit the LezCab Facebook event page.

You Should Go: The Queer Women of Color Poetry Revival Is Finally Here

I promised you a revival. And now it’s here.

If you’re into women, wine, spoken word, all of the above, or something completely different like good lighting, big living rooms, or warm sweaters you’re probably a human being built to go to THE REVIVAL, a salon-styled poetry tour that is actually happening potentially in a city near you!

Following their campaign, which raised over $5,000, the 9-day queer women’s poetry tour is hitting Toronto, Brooklyn, Chicago, Atlanta, DC, Durham, Detroit, and Cleveland. Honoring a queer tradition of demanding safe space, each event takes place in a local home. The works will explore sexuality, humanity – our lives.

“We are doing this because we have so many stories, and instead of begging the mainstream to tell them, we will tell them ourselves,” said producer Jade Foster. “That’s the point of a poet. To remind folks that they’re experiences, their trials and triumphs are real. That they matter. Just through the simple act of talking to each other, we become more than women, we become testament. That’s the point of the tour.”

You should probably buy your tickets sooner, and not later. And maybe bring tissues and a cigarette. Or a cute girl.

THE REVIVAL

[BUY TICKETS HERE]

Each Traditional Revival features light fare, a cash bar and a local guest poet.

+ October 5 – Brooklyn with Lambda Literary fellow Charan Morris
+ October 6 – Toronto with artist and activist Kim Crosby
+ October 7 – Detroit at LIV Resto Lounge
+ October 7 – Cleveland at Oberlin College
+ October 9 – Chicago at POW WOW Open Mic (with a workshop at Columbia College)
+ October 11 – Atlanta with Red Summer
+ October 12 – Durham with Mobile Homecoming Project’s Alexis Pauline Gumbs
+ October 13 – DC Welcome Home Concert with Rachel Eliza Griffiths & DC Youth Slam Team / Special Afterparty*

*Carmen Rios and Morgan McCormick are going to this, you know.

Check Out the “Werk Those Pecs!” Fundraiser Featuring Clinical Trials and Tiny Tusks

Gabrielle’s Team Pick:

Okay, confession: I’m not really the party-going type. I mean I used to be. But then I graduated college and moved to an outer borough and fell in love with a dog, so most of the time I’m not going to show up to whatever hot queer party is happening in the city. HOWEVER. I was given a tip about a party happening on Friday, October 5, that looks really fun that I think you all should know about. And I will actually probably go to it.

Have you heard about this yet? It’s Jason Hill’s “Werk Those Pecs!” Fundraiser, at Slate, which is at 54 W 21st Street, Manhattan (sorry non-New Yorkers, I love you). There will be music. There will be dancing.  There will be a date auction. There will be activists tabling and a visit from New York’s first queer adult toy company. And it’s also a top surgery fundraiser!

Somer Bingham and her band Clinical Trials will be performing, so if you’ve never seen Somer’s superior bone structure in person — ahem, I mean musical talent — now is your chance! Also performing is your new favorite band Tiny Tusks, which promises to be “better than the emo you listened to in high school,” and not just because it’s a band of three hot, awesome queers that you’ll want to be friends with.

It will also be DJ’d by DJs Suddenly & Vixx, the very same tag team that spun at this year’s Official Dyke March After Party at Ginger’s.

Queer Girl City Guide: Sydney, Australia

After a four-year stint in Autostraddle’s top American lesbianish city (the incomparable Northampton, Massachusetts), I thought I had developed impossibly high queer-friendliness expectations for every future place I’d inhabit. Then I found Sydney. Indeed, the land of adorable marsupials, rugged and beautiful beaches, and (almost) constant great weather is also a magical land of lesbians. Added bonus: many of them have cute accents and enjoy surfing. Of course, Australia shares the U.S.’s regional disparities on queer acceptance and many people, particularly in the country’s vast rural interior, are very socially conservative. Gay marriage remains illegal here. Nevertheless, it’s tempting to forget that any queer-unfriendliness exists when you’re in Sydney’s Inner West: a group of neighborhoods right outside downtown where lesbian couples often seem more the norm than heterosexual ones (okay, that may be slight hyperbole, but you certainly don’t have to think twice about walking hand in hand with your partner).

Of course, like any city, the Sydney lesbian scene has its drawbacks. I’ve heard many complaints about the disconnect between young and older queer populations. Because the legal drinking age is 18, you’ll come across lots of baby dykes at most girls’ events, and by their mid-20’s, many women have burned out on the scene. Although some events are designed specifically for slightly older women, these are dominated by the 30-plus crowd and it can be difficult to find women in their mid- to late-20’s. The perennial complaint — that it’s impossible to meet anyone at a club — still rings true. But I’ve found that options for meeting women are varied and plentiful here if you look hard enough: the party rages on Oxford Street and at many monthly girls nights and a few low-key events also cater to those who prefer to socialize over a cup of coffee rather than tequila shots. Even the online lesbian community is active and welcoming. Although I have only called Sydney home for a year, I can confidently proclaim this among the top lesbian-friendly cities in the world and certainly worth a visit for far more than the Opera House.

But first things first: it would just be wrong to begin any description of Sydney without mentioning the number one activity you just have to do as soon as you arrive here. Take the ferry from Circular Quay (pronounced key) to Manly. At 30 minutes and $7 one-way, there’s no better way to see (and photograph) the Opera House and Harbour Bridge from every angle. You’ll end up in the delightful, if touristy, suburb of Manly, where Aussie surfing culture is plentiful and beautiful tanned people abound. To escape the crowds, do some bushwalking around Sydney Harbour National Park (59-61 Goulburn Street) and discover elevated points with some of the best views of the Sydney skyline. If you can manage a ferry trip during sunset, even better. I’ve been on the ferry dozens of times now and views of the stunning skyline get me teary-eyed every time.

Okay, now back to (queer) business.

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The Best Lesbian Neighborhoods

With a central business district that is surprisingly small and at times devoid of character (besides, of course, the spectacular harbor and surrounding area), Sydney’s charm lies in its surrounding neighborhoods (or suburbs, as they’re called here, despite being totally urban). Fortunately, there are just way too many gay-friendly neighborhoods to describe without expanding this post into book-form. I’ll highlight a few of my favorites, but the list is by no means exhaustive.

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Newtown/Enmore

The local mecca of lesbians, Newtown boasts weekly girls nights (see below), funky coffee shops, organic markets, several independent theaters (live and movies), some of the best Thai food in Sydney and all-around queer-friendliness. Although it’s just a 10-minute train trip or bus ride to the city’s center (the central business district or CBD) and under half an hour to some of the city’s most famous beaches, it’s tempting to never leave this virtually perfect neighborhood.

King Street serves as Newtown’s major artery, beginning at the line of St. Peters (another queer-friendly, but not as exciting area), and ends just before the University of Sydney. On it — and the streets that shoot off it it — you will find everything a lesbian would ever need. You can drink the night away at one of the many pubs, grab a “recovery” brunch (Thick Aussie bacon, eggs, toast, and chips — french fries) at one of the cute cafes the next morning, take your dog to Camperdown Park (Federation Road) dog park (frequented by many an attractive androgynous lesbian), take in a movie at the Dendy (261-263 King Street), and just about anything else. Newtown has a distinctive alternative and hipster flare, so it’s also a fabulous place for people watching.

Among my favorite haunts are Berkelouw Books Café (6-8 O’Connell Street): part new and used bookstore, part café (with some of the best coffee in the area) and part ramen bar. Live jazz on Wednesday afternoons always draws a crowd. Newtown Thai (177 King Street) serves up some of the best Thai in the Newtown (for just $6.50 for a heaping mound of noodles or stir-fry during lunch). Gould’s Arcade (32 King Street), near the top end of King Street, is a monstrous warehouse-sized used book store that requires a full day to fully experience. King Street is also home to Vinnie’s (187 King Street), the op shop of the St. Vincent’s society, where it’s possible to find many hidden gems in with the dowdy stuff (if you’re on a budget, buying used is one of the only ways to avoid Australia’s ridiculously high prices on items such as clothing and books). There’s also more hipster clothing than you could possibly ever need. Ever.

No fewer than 15 pubs, each with a unique culture and patronage, line the 2-3 km expanse of King Street: some are dives that mostly play host to seedy older men who enjoy daytime gambling (or the pokies, as they’re called here), others are more hip and hold weekly trivia nights and cocktail happy hours (which are necessary in such an expensive place). Most see their fair share of queers. Right off King Street, The Courthouse Hotel (202 Australia Street) has one of the best outdoor beer gardens in the area, is home to weekly crab racing on Wednesdays and is usually full of lesbians. It also serves up a great pub meal. For a good drink in a fun and more intimate atmosphere, steer clear of the pub and head to Jester Seeds (127 King Street), Kuleto’s (157 King Street), or Corridor (153a King Street).

Adjacent Enmore is more alternative than Newtown, but I’ve lumped it in here because, like it or not, it’s also gradually losing its edge. Here you’ll find the best cheap Indian food in Sydney at Faheem’s Fast Food (194-196 Enmore Road), where cabbies line up late at night after they finish their shifts. Enmore is also home to some of the best artisan gelato in the city: at Cow and Moon (181 Enmore Road) there’s a gelato-making lab in the back and they switch their flavors often. If you’re looking to impress a date, take them to the swanky Green Room (156 Enmore Road), where bartenders get creative with dozens of funky and tasty cocktails (be prepared to spend about $20 a pop, though). There’s usually live music going as well.

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Erskineville

Newtown’s neighbor to the South, Erskineville (referred to as Erko by people in the know) serves as home to many older lesbians and those seeking a more subdued pub scene with small-town charm. Although its center is less than a 10-minute walk from busy King Street, Erskineville feels like a world apart with relaxed cafes that spill out onto streets and bars that tend to close much earlier than their Newtown counterparts. Its small one- or two-bedroom homes make it a family friendly locale.

The Erskineville Pub (102 Erskineville Road) serves up some of the best pub grub around and has several tragically hot queer bartenders you can lust after while waiting for food. Erko is also home to the famous Imperial Hotel (35 Erskineville Road), featured in the cult movie Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. It’s a three-floor gay venue that’s frequented by lesbians and hosts a monthly girls night on the basement dance floor, complete with stage and stripper poles. Although the Imperial is far past its golden days (it used to be the Sydney party spot for gay men), it can still be a fun night out, even if it’s not as busy as one might like.

Imperial

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Darlinghurst

The neighborhood that is home to the gay club hub, Oxford Street, is expectedly dominated by gay men. Although the Oxford strip itself is lined with pubs, clubs, sex shops, and late-night kebab stalls and not especially pleasant in the daylight, some of Darlinghurst’s residential areas are beautiful. Its proximity to the city and nightlife make it a highly sought-after and quite expensive area. It can get a little seedy at night, however, especially at its border with Kings Cross: Sydney’s notorious red light district. Increasingly, queers are abandoning Darlinghurst in favor of the Inner West as Oxford Street venues become increasingly mixed and straight yuppies move in.

Darlinghurst

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Marrickville

Marrickville is everything that Newtown used to be, namely (fairly) affordable, artsy, alternative and ethnically diverse. Though it’s farther West than Newtown and Enmore, and therefore less convenient to the city, it comes highly recommended by many lesbians. A small Portuguese enclave serves up some of the best food in the city, and the main strip is reminiscent of Newtown’s. The Marrickville Organic and Farmers Market (142 Addison Road), held every Sunday, is among the most popular in Sydney and full of delicious produce.

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Leichardt

The former Newtown, and affectionately called Dykehardt, Sydney’s Italian quarter has seen better days. The major strip is a short section of Norton Street, which, in my view, doesn’t have much worth recommending. There are still plenty of lesbians around, but they tend to be older.

As for the rest of Inner West — you really can’t go wrong, it’s all gay-friendly.

Next: Nightlife, Pride, bookstores and more!

Free Pussy Riot! Public Reading at NYC’s Ace Hotel

Jamie’s Team Pick:

We’ve been talking about the Pussy Riot trial for months. Even Madonna is speaking out in support of these jailed Russian punk rockers. In case you haven’t heard the absurdity, prosecutors in the case are asking for three years of jail time for the three women charged with hooliganism and their verdict is scheduled for August 17th.

An event in NYC on the eve of the verdict this Friday offers a spectacular line-up including Eileen Myles, Justin Vivian Bond and Chloe Sevigny reading from Pussy Riot’s powerful court room statements. Additional translated materials including prison letters along with court room attendee observations will also be read.

No doubt this group of writers, readers, and the crowd they’ll draw will prove a creative and inspiring night. Come stand in solidarity with these brave feminists!

The Pussy Riot members Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, Maria Alekhina and Yekaterina Samutsevich in a courtroom in Moscow. Alexander Zemlianichenko/Associated Press

 Credit for cover photo: NATALIA KOLESNIKOVA/AFP/GettyImages

Details from the Facebook event page below:

Thursday August 16th, Doors open at 7:30
Liberty Hall at the Ace Hotel in Manhattan

Free and open to the public!

Writers: Katja Samutsevich, Nadia Tolokonnikova , Masha Alyekhina

Confirmed Readers:

Chloe Sevigny
Eileen Myles
Karen Finley
Johanna Fateman
Justin Vivian Bond

Queer Women of Color Poetry Tour Needs Help, Promises A Revival

There’s little left to desire once you learn about The Revival, a salon-style poetry tour that aims to connect hundreds of queer women of color artists and allies. In its third year, the poetry-on-the-go movement holds living room readings with a touring troupe. This year, the tour hits Toronto, DC, Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta, Durham and Brooklyn between October 6 and 13.

But Revival needs everyone’s help – you, everyone you know, your family, your pets, your estranged friends from high school – everyone. With a modest goal of 5,000 dollars for gas, food, performer compensation, and books, they have officially launched a Kickstarter and hope to be done with the whole mess by Tuesday.

“No donation is too small and more than anything the power of a kind thought will go a long way,” says producer and poet Jade Foster. “After Frank Ocean’s blog post last week, the Internet is not to be played with. And there’s a new season turning, one that looks for the queer story. It’s up to the poets. It’s up to us to continue.“

The tour’s Kickstarter page features reviews that make it difficult not to sacrifice your life savings, let alone to click away without giving one or five dollars of your last paycheck from your shitty part-time job.

“[THE REVIVAL] was a beautiful night in Brooklyn and I, along with so many others, had so much fun,” remembers poet Yvonne Fly Onakeme Etaghene. “I’m sure the same is true for all the other cities y’all blessed with your presence.  It felt good to be appreciated and understood as an artist and to feel my work and time was/is valued as important.”

Perhaps who puts it best, however, is Jade Foster – founder of The Revival:

I’m loving America right now. Shout out to Nikky Finney. I’m loving how I came to be in this place. The etymology of my name. The birthplace of my parents, and their parents, and their parents before. Southeast, Washington DC. Shout out to The New American Black.

The Revival 2011 was five black queer women poets on a national tour. Each and every concert took place in a private home. (Well, except that one time). My heart is so full I have no room, to write a message, that will market this project, that will convince you of the time we spent.

It used to be illegal for a woman like me to read.

The rewards for giving to the project online are great, too, although we all know the ultimate reward for making poetry happen is having a poetic life. (It’s karma.) For only 25 bucks you’ll get an advanced ticket in the city of your choice, and if you have a hefty 250 you’ll get an all-access pass and be invited on tour. Your life could change! You could go on the road! All in the name of something beautiful.

Last year, over 400 black women artists and allies on the East Coast were a part of Revival. This year, “The Revival 2012 Poetry Is Everything Tour” will include a focus on youth empowerment, a live documentarian creating a film about the project, and a shared queer language between countless queer women of color and the people who love them. The tour has confirmed collaborations with Durham’s Mobile Homecoming Project, Toronto’s Kim Katrin Crosby, Brooklyn’s LGBT Pride Center and a recent grant recipient of DC’s Al Sura Foundation.

So why are you just sitting there? Donate.

You Should Go: NYC Dyke March Benefit Concert This Saturday!

Jamie’s Team Pick:

June is gay pride month in NYC, which means all sorts of enticing events for us queers to celebrate how far we’ve come and how much further we expect this country to evolve in the future. One event I’m definitely attending this Saturday in Brooklyn is the Dyke March Benefit Show at Public Assembly, and it’s not even just because my friend organized the event (though full disclosure, my friend organized the event). In case you didn’t catch it, check out Carmen’s post from earlier this month for more about all the goodness that is the Dyke March.

Doors open Saturday at 3pm and the line up for the day includes Mitten, Allison Weiss, Julia Welden and Sierra. Also look – look at all those cats on the event flyer! 

This year is the 20th NYC Dyke March, so here’s hoping we see at least 20,000 dykes marching down Fifth Avenue on June 23. Follow @nycdykemarch on Twitter and on Facebook. And if you can’t make the show, maybe check out the NYC Dyke March happy hour fundraiser at Stonewall on June 7th.

Texting Your Ex-Girlfriend in Five Easy Steps

Sometimes you really need to text your ex-girlfriend. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, how bad your break-up was or the number of years since you both agreed to never speak again. Sometimes you just need to. And if you’ve already made the (possibly inadvisable!) decision to do so, then at least you can do it in the least life-damaging way possible. So here are five super easy steps to painlessly text your ex.

The first and most important step in texting your ex is to maybe not do it at all. Are you drunk? Are you sad? Do you just want attention? Are you trying to make someone else jealous? Most importantly, is there someone else you can contact about this issue other than your ex? Maybe an old mutual friend?

YOU CAN OFTEN GOOGLE WHAT YOU WANT TO ASK YOUR EX

As you can see, Option Three provides the only option in which you do not end up crying softly. While there are many times you might want to text your ex, it’s rare that you truly need to. “That song we both like came on the radio” is not a good reason to text your ex. “I just saw the Hangover 2 — remember that time we were hung over?” is not a good reason to text your ex. “Mrow” is not a good reason to text your ex. I’m not saying you shouldn’t text her for a valid, honest reasons — even a simple congratulations is appropriate when it’s due. Just avoid texting your ex for stupid reasons.

On the flip side, you may be in a situation in which you should really call. If your ex-girlfriend has recently lost a loved one it is much more appropriate to call or send a condolence card than a tacky text message. Alternatively if you very seriously (and not because you’re drunk/lonely/horny) want to get back together, those sort of steps are best initiated over the phone.

Also never text after 9:30pm because then she’ll think you’re drunk even if you aren’t.

If you haven’t spoken to or texted you ex-girlfriend in months/years/decades it might feel weird to just start saying words on your phone. Whatever you do, don’t lead with “I know we’re not speaking but…” This makes you sound petty and like you haven’t moved on. If you know you’re not speaking then why are you texting her?! (See Step 1.) A better idea is to start with “Hey.” “Hey” is the official start of any text to anyone who you don’t normally text. “Hey” makes you look nonchalant and cool like Fonzie.

EXCLAMATION POINTS HELP TOO

Still, particularly if your text is just a quick statement/congratulations, it might be best to forgo the “Hey” and just go for the awkward words from nowhere. In some ways this is even less awkward because it’s almost like you’re just totally normal acquaintance/friends who don’t even have to go through bizarre ex-girlfriend niceties.

You’re texting your ex for a very specific reason (ahem Step 1) so get on with it already. You should preferably make your point in the first text message. This isn’t being rude, it’s just normal texting. If you hem and haw for too long your ex might get the wrong message and respond accordingly. You don’t need to be rude or curt, just to the point. You’re a busy woman and I’m sure your ex is too so there’s no need to waste anyone’s time.

I NEED THE SLEEPING BAG FOR A-CAMP

Getting to the point leave no room for uncertainty or grey area and prevents you from getting sucked in to an awful long texting conversation.

Whatever you do, don’t get sucked back in to your old relationship. First of all, don’t talk about your relationship. Not the good parts, not the bad parts, not even things you did together. For the love of G-d don’t talk about how your ex-girlfriend “always does this.” It is neither helpful towards starting over with someone nor moving on.

Second, don’t text like you are still in your relationship. Don’t use quirky old pet names or baby-talk text. Avoid emoticons at all cost. You are now two adults who are communicating via a message made up of text. No one needs to write out kitten noises.

Finally, don’t mention your new relationship situation. Even if you would love nothing better than to announce to everyone you meet that you did indeed find someone who would karaoke “Love You Like a Love Song” with you, this is not the time. You would almost definitely be mentioning your new girl just to see your ex’s reaction and that’s not fair to anyone (including but not limited to your new girlfriend). Similarly, don’t ask if she’s seeing anyone. You probably don’t want to know anyways and you can always ask her friends.

THERE ARE NO GOOD OPTIONS HERE. YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T SHOW YOUR FACE IN OHIO ANYMORE EITHER

Talking about old/new relationships takes all the tact you have inside of you and texting removes all possible tact. Don’t get in to relationship talk, please don’t do it, I think it’s a bad idea, I’m warning you right now, really I have your back on this one. Don’t do it.

If you managed to get through texting your ex-girlfriend unscathed, then just stop. Did you congratulate her on graduating and she said “Thank you?” Okay, stop. Did she confirm that, yes, that was her old friend from circus camp you ran into? Okay, stop. Did she not respond to your text message whatsoever? Okay, stop. You just have to stop texting before someone makes a fool of themselves (especially you).

SOMETIMES THE BEST THING TO SAY IS NOTHING

I’m going to level with you: this is really hard for me. This is hard for a lot of people! You get the ball rolling, you’re talking about yourselves and where you are now and then all of a sudden you’re curious if they want to get a drink and catch up. Disaster.

So remember: play it cool, keep it short and maybe (just maybe) don’t do it at all.

You Should Go: Dyke March NYC Photoshoot

Carmen’s Team Pick:

We all know Sunday is my favorite day of the week. But this Sunday, well — this Sunday will be even more special than the last! This Sunday, I’m packing my bags and going to New York City, and almost 50% of the reason why is the Dyke March Photoshoot.

Dyke March NYC is holding a photoshoot this Sunday, May 20th, at 1 PM in Prospect Park in anticipation of the actual Dyke March. A “real photographer” (to the best of my knowledge, not Robin, but what can you do really) will be taking photos there, and if you’re the dykiest of all the dykes hoping to later march in dykedom like a superdyke at Dyke March with your dyke friends, they’ll even pick your picture for their “Every Dyke is a Hero Campaign,” and then put your face on a postcard to celebrate the New York march’s 20th year. It’s all going down on Sunday – and oh, what a fun day it could be.

(Plus, the tagline on this event invitation in my inbox is “we’re makin’ you famous!,” and I know you can never go wrong with a promise like that.)

If you haven’t heard of the Dyke March, just know that whether the number is 15,000, 20,000, or 163 – a lot of dykes in one place is a good place. The Dyke March movement began in 1993, and was organized by the Lesbian Avengers (read our Herstory on the Lesbian Avengers!). It was based in Washington, DC and took place during the March on Washington. Later that year, in June, the first Dyke March NYC would occur.

Dyke Marches occur each year all over the world, and they’re all equally badass in mission:

The Dyke March is a protest march, not a parade — we don’t ask for a permit, because we have the right to protest.  We recognize that we must organize amongst ourselves to fight for our rights, our safety, and for visibility.  Thousands of dykes take over the streets every year in celebration of LBTQ women and to protest against ongoing discrimination, harassment, and anti-LBTQ violence in schools, on the job, in our families, and on the streets.

Photo by Cara Howe

Even if you can’t make it to the photoshoot, be sure to show up at the actual march on Saturday, June 23. Stay involved online via the website, Facebook, and Twitter – or just your super lesbian friends.

Los Angeles, It’s My Job to Tell You About a New Friday Night Lesbian Party

team pick:

Sometimes this thing happens where I leave my house and go to a party. Sometimes, you know, I just need to dance. And it takes a special sort of night to inspire me to actually put clothes on and do these things. Los Angeles (and those of you near Los Angeles), I am letting you know about the premiere of a new weekly Friday night girls party that I believe has the promise of a new day.

It’s called Fantasy Fridays.

Once upon a time we had a great weekly party here in Los Angeles hosted by the ladies of PYT Productions. Like all good things, eventually this party came to an end and we all miss it. It was a great party and, in my opinion, no other has come close to matching the good times we had at a PYT party.

As you can see, my face in this photo says it all.

So this is why I say come out tomorrow night and hang out with us cause it’s free, it will be awesome, and also because Carly is in town and we love Carly. It’s the opening night for this new girl party so let’s do it!

Here are the details, hope to see and meet some of you there!

Fantasy Fridays // Friday May 11th // Totes Free Entry
Opening Night at the Robertson Nightclub, West Hollywood // Free drinks before 10pm

Check out the Facebook Event Page

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The Calendar Girls Art Show: It’s A Real Thing And A Big Deal And You Should Go!

Our very own Robin Roemer is being featured at the Long Island City Arts Open this month and she’d love to see your queer little face in the crowd! You can get a sneak peak at the fine ladies of the 2013 calendar who are the subjects of Robin’s solo exhibition, check out pieces and performances from more than 200 other artists and perhaps even chat with Robin herself. What exactly will you be seeing? Think dreamy beachy scenes of bodacious and badass babes.

This is a portrait series shot of during one whole day at the beach of queer and lesbian identifying women. The project began as a calendar for Autostraddle.com, a lesbian pop culture website, but grew into an annual portrait introspective. I sought to capture images that would reflect feelings of freedom and comfort in their own skin. I was particularly interested in natural moments. I chose a simple expanse of sand and water where the horizon line is sometimes indistinguishable, and it was the perfect setting for a very personal and introspective look at each of these extraordinary women, among them a Miss California pageant contestant and a former Olympian.

As a photographer, documenting an entire day at the beach is a great challenge. The drastic change in light throughout the day and the ebb and flow of the tides adds an interesting contrast to an otherwise consistent series.

I loved coming away from this shoot knowing that many of these women are now friends, and I hope that these images reflect those bonds formed.

You can come to a reception on May 12 from 2:00 to 6:00 pm or check out Robin’s work any time from May 12th to the 20th, with the exception of the 13th which is Mother’s Day, at the Eleven11 Lofts in Long Island City, Gallery #303

Brittani Does Dinah Shore 2012, Remembers Some Of It

haviland stillwell & ashley reed, stars of unicorn plan-it

Once upon a time in the land of yore (not really), thousands of queer women and aspiring lesbians descended upon the Riviera Hotel with exorbitant amounts of alcohol, questionable intentions, and suspended morals. As you may or may not have heard, one Contributing Editor (me) took a little trip to a situation called Dinah Shore Weekend. Some people like to say “The Dinah” but I think that sounds weird like when old people put ‘the’ in front of things it shouldn’t be in front of. Other Autostraddle affiliates present for the festivities included the entire Unicorn Plan-It Team, Jess S., Sara Medd, and a whole slew of calendar girls. All my dreams.

Equipped with my favorite t-shirts and most-pocket-having board shorts, I hit the road with very little sleep and a whole lot of anxiety. The night before felt like lesbian Christmas Eve and I was afraid that Dinah Shore would be a lump of coal. Mere weeks before as “I am a poor boi too, pa rum pum pum pum” echoed through my head, I’d been convinced to engage in a slightly stripped down version of Dinah Shore.

This is where most of my friends stayed

This is where I stayed. Squalor.

Friday, after a breakfast of champions (See: McDonald’s), I hit the road with mah friendos, Alice and Chloe. After jamming out and voicing several fears in which the worst case scenario is not actually that bad, we arrived in Palm Springs. We grabbed our wristbands and made our way back to the car to make use of all the free Red Bull we’d snatched up. You know what else they were giving out like hotcakes? ob tampons! Because ob is investing in the lesbian community, y’all.

Feel free to use this as an ad campaign

After getting car drunk, we headed over to the Riviera to greet the crew.

Brittani: This hotel is so confusing. It’s like The Shining.
Other person: It’s the lesbian Shining.

By 1:21 pm, I’d broken the pair of sunglasses I brought with me to Dinah so we were off to a fantastic start. Luckily, sunglasses too were one of the things available in massive proportions so it didn’t take that long before I’d restocked my eyes with protection. Sunglasses and sunblock were the only forms of protection being used at Dinah I think.

Friends and brother wives

Alice: A, B, and C. Who do we know that’s name starts with D?
Brittani: Dinnnahhhhh.
Chloe: Who’s Donna?

Obviously it was time to head to the pool. I was really nervous about a few things before actually seeing what the party was like. I thought I’d for sure get knocked into the pool with all of my worldly possessions including things that weren’t even at the pool like my laptop and social security card. I imagined the inescapable scenario wherein I’d lose everyone I knew in a lazy river of gay and never find them again, resulting in me being abandoned in the desert with no water and no boobs. I feared that everyone would be making out except for me and I’d end up in my room taking an angry nap. None of these things happened. Hooray!

Please don't leave me guys. I love you.

Turns out, I had nothing to worry about as everywhere I turned, there were people I knew or people I really wouldn’t mind getting to know. In short, it was a manageable situation and though there is a fair amount of the “club squeeze,” everything was just fine.

Excuse me for a second, there's another group of attractive lesbians I know.

After surviving my first pool party, it was time to have my first BMOS (brief moment of sobriety), rally the troops, and head to the LIVE Magazine mixer at Mango. There were gay men interested in my hobbies and free food so I don’t know what else you could ask for.

People have probably done worse things to pictures of Haviland

After the mixer, it was back to The Riviera where everyone was getting ready for the White Party. I wasn’t going because in a rare moment of fiscal responsibility and adult decision making skills, I’d bought the Pool Party Pass instead of any of the passes that let you into the night parties. This wasn’t going to stop me from having a good time though. While everyone else was jamming out in their unfortunately colored attire, I was bopping around different groups and taking meetings on lawn chairs like the champion I am.

Productive evening

Time went on as it tends to do, events transpired, after parties were had, I went to sleep at 4. Day One of Dinah was over. The last thing I did was sit in a bathroom alone for 20 minutes to process and have some me time. Necessary.

Innocent lesbian angels

I was really excited about waking up for continental breakfast on Saturday since food is optional and alcohol is mandatory in this alternate reality. I had breakfast plans with some friends that were also staying in our jank temporary abode (the hotel was actually fine. If you’re doing Dinah on a budget, I recommend it though there is a Ronald Reagan calendar which is scary.) Turns out continental breakfast at this place means “muffins” so that was a really fun surprise. After recounting the interesting turns the night had taken, we retreated to our rooms to get ready for another day of debauchery. Please note I drank coffee at breakfast. I never drink coffee. Shit got real. And then it was time for another pool party.

Look how diverse

Apparently there was some stage situation that I was previously unaware of until it was time for Battle of the Lesbian Webseries. Since I’m the most supportive person on earth, I was front and center to support Unicorn Plan-It. It had nothing to do with Nicole Pacent dancing around in a swimsuit.

The director of Unicorn Plan-It Season 2, K. Rocco Shields, approves. So does Alice.

Despite being the clear crowd favorite, the unicorns didn’t take home the title. Micaela Ramey of Lovers and Friends did a stage dive and you really can’t beat anyone that dives into a sea of lesbians with reckless abandon. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.

haviland seems to be having a really good time here

Once again the pool party ended and people begin to transition into the portion of the night where those without death wishes eat food and everyone starts getting ready for the night party. Sometime during this phase, I took my sunglasses off to pull a girl over a balcony railing. Losing my sunglasses saddened me almost as much as the fact that I had to pull a girl over a balcony railing. A wonderful femme friend of mine had even traded her blue pair of sunglasses for my pink ones. Now they were gone and all I had to comfort me was another BMOS which actually turned into a whole night of sobriety but onward and awkward as I always say.

This is too cute not to include

Saturday’s big party was The Dinah Goes to Rio which I don’t really understand as a theme but whatever. As previously mentioned, I didn’t have a wristband but I pretended I was walking briskly in a pilot’s uniform and had no problems getting in. It was really cool when Neon Hitch performed but no one cared and I danced anyway. This party was pretty fun despite the fact that there were 3 or 4 songs that were played 3 or 4 times which is entirely unacceptable in my book and induced brain tears/made me want to cry dance.

Post “this party” I had an emergency thirst situation that needed handling. “Hydrate or die” is something I say often so I headed to the 7/11 where I proceeded to gulp down half of my beverage before I even paid for it. I know how much you all worry about my safety but I was just fine and went back to the hotel to party on until 5. Then I walked home, tried not to trip over the people sleeping on the floor, and slept in…and by slept in I mean until 9am.

Raging out the last day

After a hearty breakfast of muffins, it was time to check out and head to the last pool party. Since everyone was of course a struggle bus, checking out took some longer than others. With more time in the room waiting and lots of alcohol remaining, this was a turning point in my Dinah experience. A time I wish I recalled in detail but alas, I do not. I do remember uttering re: my actions, “I forgot this was real life.” I’ll be fine if no one ever tells my future children that Dinah exists.

Dev performed. Some people cared.

The good news is, there was a stray pair of untouched sunglasses found while packing! They were pink but still, I was pleased. Hours into the pool party, I somehow had acquired another pair of sunglasses. Minutes after that, one pair was missing and had been replaced by a free vibrator from Good Vibrations. Sunday was full of surprises but you will be glad to know, I did make it home with a pair and I believe this illustrates my point which is that Dinah Shore is like being in a zero-sum game with yourself. I had a blasty blast. I would love to hear about your Dinah in the comments.

Here/Queer: Brooklyn Under the Radar

0. 2/20/2012 – Here/Queer Call for Submissions, by Riese
1. 3/02/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Montreal, Canada, by Sid
2. 3/05/2012 – Playlist: Here/Queer, by Riese
3. 3/05/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Portland, Oregon, by Lesbians in PDX
4. 3/07/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Brighton, United Kingdom, by Sarah Magdalena
5. 3/07/2012 – Oh But To Be A Queer in Sicily, by Jenn
6. 3/08/2012 – City Guide: Seattle, by Marley
7. 3/11/2012 – City Guide: Washington DC, by Keena
8. 3/13/2012 – Here/Queer: Sydney Mardi Gras Is On Your To-Do List, by Crystal
9. 3/14/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Spokane, Washington, by Ana
10. 3/15/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Cleveland, Ohio, by Lora
11. 3/16/2012 – Madison, WI and W4W Entertainment, by Emily
12. 3/16/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Dublin, Ireland, by Una
13. 3/19/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Vancouver, Canada, by Kathryn
14. 3/19/2012 – Things We Wrote That You Loved, by The Team
15. 3/20/2012 – Here/Queer: Boogie Down Bronx, by Gabby
16. 3/21/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Columbus, Ohio, by Dominique, Annie, Kat, Liz & Mila
17. 3/24/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Santa Fe, New Mexico, by Sam
18. 3/24/2012 – Here/Queer: Oxford, by Sybil
19. 3/26/2012 – Get Baked: Australian Edition, by Crystal
20. 3/26/2012 – Here/Queer: Brooklyn Under the Radar, by Samken

feature image via allie leepson

So being queer and having been around the block a few times, you’ve undoubtedly made it out to all the local haunts in NYC. Sure, you’ve done Cubby Hole Tuesday $2 margaritas and Choice Cunts every month, but you might find yourself feeling a little blasé from lack of options. You might even frequent the Brooklyn monthlies like HEY QUEEN! and still find yourself craving more queer community and debauchery. Well rest-assured, you’re not alone. For anyone who needs to be pointed in the right direction, I’ve compiled a handy list of queer and queer-friendly parties, places, and neighborhoods that are sure to keep you busy.

MISSTER! via Josefina Ballesta

MISSTER! Wednesdays at The Woods

So, this party is the revamped version of The Woods’ usual Wednesday nights. Think stylized queers that really, like Whitney always said, “just want to dance with somebody.” Despite the slightly inconvenient trek to South Williamsburg, the space is good and the dance floor is the main event. Surprisingly for a Wednesday night, this party fills up late and continues until the wee hours. Get there after midnight and you’ll catch the DJ playing their most danceable set and the crowd having had enough drinks to forget about their Thursday morning obligations. Sure, you could always stick to ye ol’ Metropolitan Wednesday nights, but if you want something a bit more lively, head out to The Woods.

Kitty

KITTY Thursdays at Wreck Room

KITTY is new and still making its way into the night scene, but as such, they really try to show you a good time. This type of good time is distinctly Bushwick flavored: It’s the party that every punk teen in the suburbs always imagined they’d be at someday. With a constant stream of old-school slow jams, an open dance floor, and a pool table, you’ve got all your needs covered. Not to mention the booths surrounding the space that perfectly complement the low-key kick back vibe. If you’re looking for fun themes, good drinks, and a Thursday night that will ease you into the weekend, KITTY’s got you covered.

GET IT! Every Last Tuesday at Sugarland

Okay, so this party has it all. Except, that is, enough queer people! Have you ever gone to a packed party with gorgeous people and thought, “Wouldn’t this be great if there were better music??” This is just the opposite. The music is AMAZING! Think, Kreayshawn remixes, the new Lana del Ray song, and every other new or old tune that you always wish the DJ would play. Combine that with drink specials and the perk of having an excuse to go out early in the week and voila. When the end of the month finally rolls around and you need to blow off some steam, here you have it.

Crown Heights

So, Crown Heights is pretty much Park Slope’s queer, quirky half-brother. Similar to The Slope, you have rows of beautiful brownstones intermingled with a main drag of shops, eateries, and haunts on Franklin avenue. Unlike its more reserved counterpart, though, instead of married soccer moms, you have eclectic queers. Before you’re ready to settle down and consider a vegetable garden and joining the food coop, Crown Heights is probably where you want to be. Notable spots include Dutch Boy Burgers, where you can get a cheap and delicious meal, your choice of any straight or spiked milkshake or beer float, and friendly service. I opted for the lamb burger and toasted marshmallow shake, and I was not sorry!

Attached to the backside of Dutch Boy is Franklin Park Bar, complete with arcade games (the nostalgia inducing ones like skee ball and that basketball shootout game) and an outdoor patio area. Also on the agenda in this newer queer-friendly nabe is Breukelen Coffee house with its comfortable modern vintage space and Brooklyn-based Stumptown Coffee (by far, the best of the best) and Red Lotus Room, a fancy undergound event space hosting many a queer gathering. Though the most obvious queer association in the Heights vicinity is probably Outpost Café, hike on over to these gems to get a feel for what the rest of the neighborhood has to offer.

Dutch Boy

Bushwick

Bushwick

If you haven’t heard, Bushwick is the new big queer neighborhood. You have grit, you have style, and you have a whole sector of queer amazingness that is still slightly underground. Seeing as Bushwick is a converted industrial zone, many of the establishments are loft spaces – perfect for collaborative living, art galleries, and yoga studios. Bushwick gives us back what the Lower East Side and Chelsea have long since started to dull on: energy, authenticity, and neighborhood spots that you can still call your own. Straddling that fine line between hipstery and artsy, Bushwick is a free-for-all of unrestrained and creative living and loving.

Notable spots include Orwell’s Coffee Shop, where I once in all honesty saw a performance involving someone using dry ice as a musical instrument (and yes, the mic was on the dry ice). If you’re hungry, Northeast Kingdom brings you top-of-the-line refined comfort food such as tater tots with caviar and crème fraiche and peanut butter stuffed French toast, or you can try Momo’s Sushi Shack which does an amazing elevated pork betty and a great vegan gyoza dumpling. Drinks-wise, the Narrows is a hidden enclave with fancy custom cocktails and candlelit ambiance for cheaper than you can hail a cab in Manhattan. Lastly, if you’re feeling nostalgic, Life Café is open late and is the sister restaurant/bar to the recently closed East Village Life Café, that we all remember from Rent.

Momo Sushi Shack

Cafe Orwell

Graceland

So I couldn’t help putting at least one Williamsburg locale on the list. Though you may be thinking this a supposed to be an under the radar roundup and Williamsburg is anything but, this joint tattoo parlor and hair salon off the Lorimer L is far from trite. Elvis themed in the most tasteful way, Graceland provides you with two queer necessities: a perfectly stylized yet lived-in haircut and a badass tattoo. The convenience factor can’t be beat and you’ll feel right at home in the shop. The majority of the hair stylists are queer so you’ll have a stylist that understands the aesthetic and the tattoo side is equally as open and accommodating. Consider coming in on Sunday Funday, a monthly occurrence where Graceland gives out cheap tattoos that the artists have drawn up under quirky themes like “Things That Are Wet.” You won’t regret it!

So, there you have it, an on-the-ground collection of some of the newest places and spaces on the scene. Being queer isn’t always easy, but with a fresh slew of parties, neighborhoods, and hangouts popping up, it always helps to feel that your people are just around the corner. In addition to all the tried and true places we’ve carved out for ourselves, these new spots are sure to keep everyone feeling right at home, no matter where they are.

Eileen Myles is Coming to DC, Will Most Likely Be Best Thing To Happen Here All Year

Carmen’s Team Pick:

On Wednesday, March 28, Eileen Myles is coming to American University in Washington, DC, and nothing in my life will ever be the same. Will you please come along?

Wave Books contacted me about reviewing Eileen’s new book Snowflake/different streets in November, and me being the complete and total unabashed fangirl that I have always been, I followed up with a “yes” and a “can I maybe arrange for Eileen to speak on my campus?” Days later I got an email from Eileen Myles called “Hi Carmen.” She said yes.

Myles will be hosted by Women’s Initiative at American University, the most badass feminist group on a campus ever and the designers of the best free v-necks of all time. (The event is also cosponsored by the campus queers and so on.) She’ll be reading from Snowflake/different streets and, really, whatever other books she might want to read from, since she knows best. The event will start at 6:30 PM, is completely free, and is going to be outside in the Amphitheater, meaning it will go something like “I went to this poetry reading and laid in the grass.” The event is part of Women’s History Month, and Myles will take questions from the audience following her presentation.

You can RSVP on Facebook to get reminded about the event constantly, but most importantly you should just make sure you show up. Plus the posters are so good: