‘Twas the month before Christmas, and all through the internet
The creatures were stirring, especially the Slayerettes
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that sexual tension would soon be laid bare

The queer folks were nestled, all snug in their beds
As visions of fan fiction danced through their heads
You in your beanie and me in my snapback
Had just settled down for an AO3 nap

When out on the Webs there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter
Away to the Tweetdeck I flew like a flash
Scrolled through the columns and felt my breath catch

Jenny Owen Youngs and her pal Jess Abbott
Cahooting with Kristin Russo to make such gay racket
Yes, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Buffy and Faith spreading holigay cheer

A Christmas classic completely remade
I knew in a moment my heart was waylaid
More rapid than eagles the lyrics they came
And they whistled and shouted and called me by name

Now, RIZZLES! now, FABERRY! now, SPARIA and SWAN QUEEN!
Oh, JETRA! oh, BECHLOE! oh, PB AND MARCELINE!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
FUFFY! FUFFY! IS THE BEST SUBTEXT OF ALL!

Oh hey on this week’s Buffering the Vampire Slayer, Kristin Russo and Jenny Owen Youngs have rewritten the lyrics to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” to bring us “BUFFY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE,” the greatest and gayest holiday classic ever made! Kristin Russo shared this sweet dream with me a few weeks ago and the final song and music video yesterday and I have been pacing around my house like a caged reindeer ever since waiting to deliver this holigay gift to you!

And that’s not all. Over on their Patreon they’ve released another song for this week’s episode, Amends: “In thinking about Buffy’s speech toward the end of the episode, we decided that while we wanted to capture the essence of the episode, we also wanted to make this a song for the many, many, many of us who are holding tight to chosen family this holiday season.”

Carol bless us, everyone.