Remember last week when Glee ended and I retreated into a blissful, relaxed moment of self-awareness, absorbing the loveliness that comes from knowing somebody else is writing about Glee and that person is not me. But unfortch our recapper has a feeling I know well, and it is as follows: “I enjoy Glee on a basic level, but I no longer have the strength left inside to find that tiny needle in the haystack of shit.”
I mean to be honest, Glee has yet to introduce a compelling storyline — we don’t tune in to see what happens next with Rachel and Finn, we tune in to see who is going to sing what and who will be dancing and what will happen with Brittany and Santana and what Heather Morris might say that’ll be super funny or if Kurt is going to have Tender Gay Moments (sidenote: anyone else feel like the Rachel/Kurt moment by the lockers was added in after the tragedies of last week?) etc.
Anyhow, what you really want to know/discuss is what happened with Brittany and her bff/crush Santana: they make out and maybe have sex in cheerleading uniforms. Then Santana says she’s only doing it because Puck is in jail (really? when did this happen?) and you can tell Brittany feels sad. Later she tries to seduce Artie to make Santana jealous, idk.
FEELINGS ABOUT THIS?:
Here are the words:
There was also another fantastic moment in which Brittany motioned to Santana that she would be getting no titty action.
Facepalm count: 3
Minutes into the show I picked up my laptop: 19
Number of times I tried to imitate the way Finn handles his chest and arms while singing and nobody noticed/politely pretended not to notice: 1
Number of times the entire room squirmed at shots of Mr. Shue’s creepy facial expressions: 4
Number of times we observed discrepancies in character continuity: 2
Number of times we alluded to the BLM lesbian experience: 2
Also, Taylor enjoyed Kurt’s performance and noted that “Brittany made noises when Santana was touching her neck which was basically a musical sequence.”
This.
Also, lesbo tumblr land is exploding.
i had to google BLM and only came up w/ ‘bureau of land management’ so i’ll be anxiously awaiting the moment that someone fills me in.
Big Lesbian Monkeys, maybe?
Blonde-latina makeout?
I thought it was just me that didn’t know BLM and figured it was just because I am old. I’m relieved to see your confusion.
Bacon, Lettuce…..melons?
broadway’s l[redacted] m[redacted]
tease…
first i guessed lea michele? then i guessed les miserables? aand now i’m out of guesses
wait a minute! i’m late to this. girl, you be sayin’ that lea michele is a big old mo????? for realz??
Things are progressing exactly the way I thought they would. I knew Brittany would have feelings for Santana but Santana would just treat her like a bootycall and that’s it. Really, they have been hinting at Brittany’s gayness for a while now. It’s still early in the season so I’m sure we’ll see more of Brittana. I heard they might be giving Santana some competition and I predict she will be mad jealous about Brit getting busy with someone else.
first Glee episode I’ve liked in awhile. Only one thing sort of bugged me: the bit where Kurt was like “I’m the only out gay kid in the ~whole world~!” Because it seems like either he hasn’t noticed, or the show hasn’t noticed, that Brittany is bisexual (the most stereotypical possible bisexual, but baby steps, y’all, baby steps) and she’s not closeted. She’s not going around saying “I identify as a 4.5 recurring on the Kinsey scale because blah blah blah really long description of my sexual experiences” (or whatever the kids do these days, that’s what all the bi girls did when I was her age) but everyone knows she’s sleeping with Santana, right? “If sex was dating, Santana and I would be dating.” Right?
I don’t know that everyone knows Brit has slept with Santana but they definitely know that she’s slept with half the school and openly makes comments about women. So I’d say Brit is canon bisexual even if Santana isn’t. I mostly think Santana just doesn’t want to be different.
Wait… did they actually say “scissoring”?
yes, seriously they did
I’m sure that one got by the censors because they didn’t know what it meant.
Like how Spike from BtVS used to say “wankers” and “bollox”[sic] as often as possible. I like to imagine Joss Whedon giggling to himself as he was writing.
i thought the scissoring bit was just hilarious dialogue that autostraddle made up. so i asked my roommate who has watched the episode 3 times already and SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SCISSORING IS.
i must be a terrible lesbian. however we are going to see the kids are all right on friday SO at least she will learn the little bit about gay porn.
great. i lose all interest in glee and then this happens.
did anyone else notice or care how awkward and weird this dialogue is?
Yes, re: the Rachel/Kurt locker pep-talk. It mostly fit with the rest of the episode, in that non-plot kind of way, but it did feel a bit too… _expected_ to be part of the naturally written script.
But it was a nice gesture.
Also, I’m really glad Kurt’s dad didn’t die because that would probably send him into a downwardgay spiral, what with his loneliness and all.
Shue opening with something like “The puckster drove his car into some building and is in Juvee”
I loved this episode, even if i do watch it with someone who thinks homo acts are perverted.
more glee-caps please!
‘i’m mad at you, but you’re still so hot’
This was my favourite part.
I never liked this pairing mostly because of the dumb pinky holding. I’m not really surprised by this episode.
I have actually read quite a few complaints about how “It 8 o’oclock and their are gays making out on tv! They are marketing this to kids! The horror.” I know people may think that because this show has singing and dancing in it that this is somehow a family show but anyone who has seen more than one episode should know that it really isn’t by now. And this was only Brit/Santana. I hate to think what the bigots will do if Kurt ever gets to make out with a guy.
It’s on at 7 where I am and my kids are still awake and I let them watch the Britney Spears ep and it shaved 10 years off my life. Two cheerios kissing is no big deal.
can we talk about how they’re still wearing their ankle socks
yes, this
We can talk about it, but it may result in a lot of vapors and fainting.
Hah. It’s like, do they always have to wear their cheerio’s outfits? Actually, on second thought…..yum.
Also, Brittany nudging the meatball with her nose, ‘Lady and the Tramp’-style. Someone please just give Heather Morris her own show.
IKR. I feel like this is fast becoming the Brittany show anyway, and I for one, approve.
(Also, I’m pretty sure Duets is episode 204 not 205, jfyi)
There is a beautiful gif of this moment. I changed a little.
meatball moment = oh my goodness, yes.
what are duets? Blankets.
Oh. My. God. Brittany is head over heels in super lesbian love with her best friend, who is all “I’d be willing to fuck you, but not date you”, and it breaks her heart but she has the emotional literacy of a shovel so she can’t express it to anyone including herself in any terms other than referencing classic Disney films, and she tries to be pissed but she is still SO attracted to her (‘i’m mad at you, but you’re still so hot’) and she just wants to scream “WHY ISN’T MY LIFE EXACTLY LIKE A FUCKING DISNEY MOVIE?”
This is exactly my life for the first two years of high school. Exactly. Oh, Brittany. Come with me and we’ll go live in a Magical Lesbian Disney Movie Universe where we can rewrite our depressing high school life stories. The End.
This is the perfect explanation of how Brittany is feeling. It makes so much sense!!
Magical Lesbian Disney Movie Universe, if this was a real place I would totally move there and run for mayor, or Empress
I’m currently co-empresses with Brittany, but you can totally be mayor.
I have been there. Where Brittany is. However, I’m glad to see that’s not where Glee headed. I love them as a couple it’s like the fairytale ending I never got.
Okay I am completely and totally in love with Glee and yes I know that sometimes there is no story but that’s almost what I love about it, like how I loved Buffy more from seasons 1-4 and less* in 5-7 when it got all crazy and shit
*still a lot
I’ve been angsting over this all day. I mean, the making out and the scissoring comments are golden, and yeah, I downloaded the episode and have made, uh, A LOT of screencaps. But the actual storyline broke my heart, even though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to. Santana is in denial. I’m sure of it. You love her, Santana! You do! GO EAT SPAGHETTI WITH YOUR GIRL AT BREADSTIX, DAMN IT.
Jesus, I’m so glad that wasn’t just me. I almost cried when Brittany was pushing the meatball across the table with her nose all alone.
SHE JUST WANTS SOME GAY LOVE, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
also, scissoring quote ftw.
I thought Breadstix sucks??? Finn said so in Season 1 during the dinner with Kurt, Kurt’s Dad and Finn’s mom.
I love that they didn’t promote the shit out of ~girls kissing~ like every other show would have done. It just happened.
I was really ready to dump Glee after the first two episodes (besides the super hot dancing by Heather Morris) but they seem to be getting back on track, and I don’t want to stab Rachel and Finn in the face anymore.
when i heard santana say “scissoring” i was like, wait…what? did they just say that? is it seriously 7:00 right now and someone just said “scissoring” on fox? so i had to rewind it and sure enough, they said it. like someone else mentioned, this had to have missed by the censors because they didn’t know what it meant.
out of curiosity i googled “scissoring on glee” and found this gem posted on a glee message board on the fox website:
What’s scissoring?
Santana mentions it while on the bed with Brit – I assumed this had something to do with some sort of craft project.
That’s probably what most people thought…
Can’t… stop… laughing…
Wow, I needed a good laugh.
Oh my god that’s TOO GOOD.
i thought the lady kisses and scissoring comments were something autostraddle did to be funny but i guess they actually said that which is kind of amazing/weird/amazing
Life= complete!
yes.
I was totally ready to vote myself off the island of glee (Jane Lynch has kept me holding on) but then they keep throwing out shiny gay gems.
And the world needs to be a gayer place. So hats off to them and their prime time slot!
Seriously… I have Victor/Victoria and had a crush on Julie Andrews since I was like 12.
Curt rocks.
Did anyone else notice how red the tips of Brittany/Heather’s ears are? Heh.
It’s getting harder and harder to watch Glee as of late without feeling like being cheated out of enough Jane Lynch screen time, but the Britanna scene was enough to get me excited for this episode. Unforch, it still wasn’t enough to get me to like it. And even more unforch, straight peoples’ reaction to a “lesbian make out scene” that didn’t even feature any lip-to-lip kissing (one gay said he had to cover his kids’ eyes) is just enough to ruin it for me.