celebrities (vapid fluff)

BREAKING: Samira Wiley Needs a Boo, Eats String Cheese

Riese —

Sep 19, 2013

Yesterday Samira Wiley made everybody’s private parts explode with this announcement regarding her ass requiring warmth:

Wintertime comin. Bout time to get boo’d up. Keep my lil ass warm. ;)

— Samira Wiley (@samirawiley) September 18, 2013

As if her public declaration regarding needing a special somebody wasn’t enough, today she followed up with a confession that she enjoys the world’s best processed food product, string cheese:

Hangin w/ @lvinnecour in village. Eatin string cheese. She makes me smile mucho. ;)

— Samira Wiley (@samirawiley) September 19, 2013

WAIT DON’T CHANGE YOUR PANTS YET. I have some photographs which I feel will be useful as you sit at home pondering your qualifications for boo-dom. If you’d like to win honorary Boo’dom, I invite you to write a haiku for Samira Wiley in the comments or otherwise express your feelings. Just remember that there’s already a Big Boo and a Little Boo, which means you’ll have to be Medium Boo.

emo-selfie — hey boo check out how light revolves around my face like the sun revolves around the earth

samira-in-the-tub — hey boo wanna get non-monog with me and these two fierce bitches and also our hats

samira-selfie — hey boo it’s cool you can rub your hands in paint and then say hello to me any time you want

josephinecaldwell — hey boo, i recognize the obvious sexual caption that could be given to this photograph, but i actually look so fucking ridiculously sexy in this picture that using that kind of caption would be actual blasphemy

what-the — hey boo what are you doing you don’t have to wear clothes around me

samira-with-dog — hey boo, i just wanna be loved like a puppy is loved

omgtaystee — HAAAYAYYYY BOOOOOO IT’S ME AND DANIELLE HAYYYYYY

niceteeth — hey boo, we got something for everybody

poussey — hey boo, i believe you belong under this arm and yet you are nowhere near this arm

scrubs — hey boo, i just gotta hang out with my BFF for a second ok, it’s cool because we’re both independent women and aren’t super co-dependent and give each other lots of space

in-blue-hoodie — hey boo, it’s true g-d invented hoodies just so i could wear them

premiere- — hey boo my gender presentation is hella flexible and damn do i look good doing it

ella-ella-ella — hey boo, just texting you to let you know if you’re out there in the rain that i got an umbrella right here for you

on-panel — hey boo i’m technically on this panel right now but my heart’s way over there with you

backstage — hey boo, with your consent i’m just gonna put two in the front and two in the back real quick, go knicks

samira-going-to-church — hey boo it’s just that our future’s so bright i gotta wear shades

poussey-and-black-cindy-via-poussseys — hey boo gtg hang out with black cindy right now… wanna come?

omg-its-me — hey boo, look it’s how we met!

cutest — hey boo, now the puppy’s gonna know your scent

FELON — hey boo i identify as 100% Y.O.U.R.S.

singing-amazing-grace — hey boo, when i sang “amazing grace” i really meant “amazing boo” and damn you lit up like the prettiest angel i’ve ever seen

holy-shit-that-outfit — hey boo, it’s okay, just take a lot of deep breaths and this photo won’t give you a heart attack

poussey-and-puppy — hey boo, check out how i accent à droite this bitch

b-w-selfie — hey boo. yes that’s my bra. stop staring. ok it’s fine keep staring.

hey boo, btw i went to julliard

best-picture-ever — hey boo, butch please

Lauren-Morelli-and-samira-wiley — hey boo, you’re so hot i had to take off my sweatshirt

samira-wiley-with-a-puppy — hey boo, how do you like this double puppy eyes

hey boo, did you know that only 12 women a year get into julliard’s theater program, just saying

birthday-party — hey boo, it’s cool you couldn’t make it, you probably would’ve hyperventilated in the face of all this awesome and it was taylor’s birthday so

samira-via-twitter — hey boo, hey.

Riese

Riese is the co-founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker and LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York, and now lives in Los Angeles. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3303 articles for us.

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