WoopWoop! It’s the popo! Nope, it’s the Juggaloes. Nope, it’s a black-out drill because the escaped Nazis have reached the city. Betty’s outside stoking the furnace and getting her butch on but this noise does not bode well, especially because she’s being spied on by a Fairly Obvious Plot Device!
do not fuck with me when i am getting my hardcore dyke on
Over at Club Hot Mess, Gene is being a massive asshole in front of the guests. No one is really sure how to react to his bullshit, but I feel like Bob punching him in the face would really help. Gene says he’s gonna go check the streets for the guests who haven’t arrived yet. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
i’m the kind of guy who refers to women as bitches and swears that all my exes are crazy
Leon’s playing piano when Kate walks in. Leon thinks that having the choir would be really good for Kate, but Kate is using other routes to face her PTSD. Kate, your perfect Disney face continues to break my heart, and Bomb Girls Powers-That-Be, high five for handling a PTSD storyline so well. Leon tells her to be careful. Leon, you’re a really good guy.
i’m gonna try lesbianism and witchcraft to work out my issues
Over at the Popular Girls’ Table, Vera says that the system they’ve established is a “cock-up.” Everyone goes silent because these are fancy ladies who do not have such vulgar vocabulary. Mrs. Beaverton also thinks they’ve got a lot of cock on their hands, and as someone with a name like Beaverton, she is all about removing as much cock from the situation as possible. She thinks Vera’s idea is just swell and Vera gives Carol the ol’ Suck It Bitch grin.
oh i’m sorry what i meant to say was ‘what dumb cunt came up with this fuckshit plan’
Betty and Gladys are in the middle of Bro Poker Night when they are disturbed by Giganticus Assholus, aka Gene, whose face I want to pummel into a cement wall. Turns out that not only did he ditch the dinner Lorna threw for him, but Kate invited him to crash Bro Poker Night. This guy is literally everything I hated about every single male I encountered during college parties.
Goddess bless you, Betty McRae, VicMu Resident Man-Hating Lesbian.
DESTROYIN U WITH MY GAY MIND
Back at Club Hot Mess, everyone is like “I wonder where Gene went” and then everyone is like “I wonder where all the whiskey went” and then everyone is like “I wonder if Gene and the whiskey went to the same place.” Sheila briefly reminds her mother that a) her brother is a Grade A Piece O’ Shit and b) in case no one has noticed, they haven’t fed her boyfriend yet.
do you think baby cannoli would have been better behaved than this moron
Carol makes some classist remarks and Vera realizes she has way better things to do than listen to the popular girls bitch about how bad they are at stuffing things into bags. Beaverton, as her name noble would suggest, is a fair and sympathetic lady who thinks Carol is being a total shit.
PEACE OUT HOMOS I’LL CATCH YOU BITCHES IN FIRST PERIOD
Back at the Sudden Party, Kate is getting cozy with Dipshit Enormous. Betty and Gladys are in the corner guarding the throne, neither amused nor impressed. Betty in particular is making some faces that I would rate at an “oh god” level.
you wanna go to a mac miller concert and let me lap smirnoff ice off your tits
I wouldn’t have imagined those two together.
You and me both.
But then Kate asks Betty to go get some pickles and we all know what happens when Kate asks Betty to do something. You know, I make a lot of sad faces, cry at the laptop screen, all that stuff. Sargent Dickhole asks Kate to sing a duet with him, and when she has trouble singing because it’s a complex and serious issue, he’s like “haha rusty pipes.” Gladys’ face looks like she has a rusty pipe she’d like to bury somewhere in his face, but she quickly joins in to cover for Kate. To all of this I simply say: IS EVERYONE IN THE CAST THIS MULTITALENTED AND WHY HAS THERE NOT BEEN A MUSICAL EPISODE YET?
feelin kinda murderous again fella ngl
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Hilarious and spot on! Kate needs to quit whining about her lack of romance, though – she HAD her chance with Betty, dammit, and she blew it! I swear I’m in love with Betty – she’s AMAZING in every way!
Bravo yet again for these hilarious recaps. Having you and Elaine Atwell AND this perfect show with all of the perfect faces ever is such an embarrassment of riches :)
Also amazing capping skillz – The misandry one looks like Gladys’ face is actually formed by a magical primate only found in the houses of well to do Canadian ladies. Well done!
I’ve been waiting for what you would have to say about Betty’s, “I didn’t get pickles,” line. Priceless.
The Betty Fuckin Mcrae Did Not Get Fuckin Pickles picture is gonna be my new background.
Im scared to actually watch the show because Kate is so funny and I dont know if the show can live up to her amazing vernacular.
Chiming in to say German actually does have feminine, masculine, and neutral nouns!
this episode made me cringe a lot!
okay when kate and betty were having that “do what you have to to survive” conversation i thought they were gonna kiss and that it was gonna be revealed that they have been secretly getting it on ever since kate came back. look i know i was grasping at straws but i need SOMETHING
I definitely thought they were going to kiss and/or at least talk about Betty being gay maybe. THEN THE SCREEN WENT BLACK and the show moved on to other things.
omg no during that scene I DEFINITELY got the impression that they’d been sleeping together. but probably not. *sobs*
Kate, you are killing me with these captions.
I was freaking out as well when the Nazi grabbed Betty in the basement, but then she did some shit-hot self-defense and I was like: “what was I thinking? this girl is fucking badass”.
I didn’t feel like this was the best episode to be honest, but that may have had something to do with the fact that I watched it in 5 minute bursts while it buffered on my phone on the train because I was too impatient to wait till I got home that evening (obviously I watched it again in one go when I was back). Probably because Gene is horrible and Betty and Kate weren’t in the same room as each other enough for my liking. BUT that hand holding moment you drew a heart around kinda made up for it.
I’m hoping with all the “What are you afraid of?”, “When we’re finally safe it’s okay to stop fighting” talk, the door is opening to Kate admitting her flaming homosexuality and running off with Betty into the sunset. If this hasn’t happened by the end of season 2 I will not be amused.
Been waiting for this since I finished watching the episode!
This was a fantastic recap! There are actual tears in my eyes. Half of those were because the recap was so funny and half of them were because of Ali Liebert’s face.
My little shipper heart squeed so loud at that background hand-hold!
Also I’m really jealous of Jodi Balfour because not only does she pull off a flawless Canadian accent for Gladys, she can also keep that accent perfectly when she sings!
and OMG how exciting was it that Charlotte Hegele tweeted that I Am No Church Mouse picture?
i had no idea it was an accent! MIND BLOWN
This was too funny. I can’t even —
Great re-cap as usual. So torn between watching the HABS! and watching BG next Wednesday!
BTW Isn’t Eugene supposed to have a twin brother? Doesn’t anyone find it weird that Mystery Twin wasn’t mentioned once this episode?
OH FUCK, I forgot there’s two of them!
So, I always look forward to these recaps, but I was especially looking forward to this week’s after the introduction of Mrs. Beaverton. Also, I need more of the Corbetts’ neighbor, Ellie, who apparently stashes bottles of rye in her neighbors’ attics?
Did anyone else notice that even when Betty and Gladys were jonesing for some alcohol while they were playing cards together, Betty didn’t offer up that bottle of lime cordial we know she keeps for Kate?
Also, I wonder what all of Canada would think if they knew a German-born lesbian was the one who really captured the escaped Nazi prisoner instead of that dickhead Gene.
And maybe Gene is a dick because he looks like Will Schuester. You can’t have that hair and a weird chin/jaw situation and not be a dick, I guess.
I wish I could read into the withheld cordial as a sign of undying love as much as the next person, but I’m pretty sure lime cordial isn’t alcoholic :P
For sure? Because I thought cordial was what Anne Shirley served to her bosom friend Diana that got her good and drunk on accident in “Anne of Green Gables.”
anne thought it was raspberry cordial but it was homemade currant wine
/grew up on sullivan entertainment
OMG…I thought the same thing – when I read ‘lime cordial’ I IMMEDIATELY thought of drunk Diana when Anne Shirley was allowed to be hostess for her first grown up tea! Anne thought it was cordial since she’d never actually tasted it before, lol! Led to some brilliant scenes, hehe….
LOVED the Sullivan Entertainment movies…that IS the Anne Shirley I will always picture in my mind. So jealous of her gorgeous hair…and I would have found it PERFECTLY reasonable if Diana and Anne had allowed friendship to turn into love, lol! I’m fond of Gilbert, but he could be a friend. ;-)
I’m pretty sure that I, too, was under the impression that cordial was alcoholic because of Anne of Green Gables. Good thing we have Kate to remember the details there! I didn’t remember/know that it had actually been wine. Also I love how so many of us associate cordial with Anne of Green Gables.
Damn. Forgetting my “Anne of Green Gables” details feels like such a queer party foul.
ANNE: Marilla, look at the puffs.
MARILLA: They’re ridiculous. You’ll have to turn sideways to get through the doors.
I can’t get over how flawless Vera is. She and Betty need to get together because no one else could possibly be badass enough for either of them.
I AM. I AM BADASS ENOUGH FOR BETTY MCRAE.
Get in line! I’m very stubbornly insisting that I’ll be first in line at Betty’s door, dammit! OMG…she looks SO good in the pants/slacks of that era.
And someone else commented that Kate is hopeless about flirting with guys, but she sure as hell flirted like crazy with Betty. It’s not fair or fun to have someone experiment and play with your heart like that!
Omg that bit about Josie and the Pussycats killed me! These recaps just get better and better. God I love this show. But wait, you missed the part where Vera gets flowers sent to her by Mrs. Beaverton!
this episode is making me have a lot of feelings!
I wish I could drown them in onion cake&federweißer(new wine/young wine) right now. thats what onion cake’s all about, the alcoholic beverage that goes along with it
Love Betty, but the poor gal can’t catch a break!
I totes agree that this was the best episode of the show yet. Also, last night I dreamed that Kate and Betty got married and it was perfect.
oh my god i love these recaps so much i dont even know. and unlike most other recap shows on AS, this is one that is acutally worth watching on the tv AS WELL as reading your recaps
Loved the recap, hilarious as always…but I really didn’t like this episode at all. It might be because the sound seemed a little screwed up when I watched it and shit like that always throws me off and I was in a bit of a bad mood but I def thought this was the weakest episode thus far…Yay for the pickles line though! That shit was amazing.
That Face Chart is the fucking best.
I’m okay with Kate awkwardly flirting with guys if we get more commentary from Gladys and Vera about how terrible Kate is at flirting.
We know that Kate is hopeless at flirting with guys. But we also know that Kate is really really good at flirting with girls.
“Hey Betty, let’s go to the dance!” “Hey Betty, want to try a twirl?” “You’re a treasure, Betty.”
Lord Beaverbrook was born in Canada and became a media baron and peer. Possibly the Lady Beaverton character is a riff on that. The name is genius. And sending flowers to Vera? That would be a story line worth pursuing.
“I LIKED WHEN SHE TOOK OFF ALL HER CLOTHES AND DANCED ON THE TABLE TO ROBYN”
you would really like me at karaoke
also i’ve been waiting for this recap all week because i found this gem i’ve been dying to share with all of you:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/4ccfc5571560566a59bc5c6fa7e4dd16/tumblr_mgn66venPC1qa09l9o1_1280.jpg
ali liebert is that you??????????????
I…just…I’ll be in my bunk…
OMG…is that her? *Dying*
nothing could of prepared me for that image!
and i have a suspicion that is betty to
Ugh so annoyed that Gene got all the credit in the newspaper, although Betty was the one who actually nabbed the prisoner of war.
I hate that Leon is the Magical Negro of this show, his character needs some fleshing out.
OMG, right? I am so sick of Magical Leon.
Finally got around to watching the episode. So great but WHAT? Even as a native speaker I had problems understanding the guy. So dearest Bomb Girl people, next time you cast a German, remember that both his German & English accent should actually sound German?
Bomb Girls episodes are such a treat that I save them until I see the Autostraddle recap posted and then I have to watch the episode right away so I can read the recap afterwards.
What is the song that Gladys and Gene sing together? It’s been driving me INSANE not knowing!!