Nic is recovering from some surgery this week, so our TV Team is filling in on Batwoman for her while she rests up and heals up — she’ll be back next week! We couldn’t do justice to Nic’s work with the show, so here’s a super quick summary and a screencap recap for you!

On last night’s Batwoman, “Fair Skin, Blue Eyes,” Ryan is forced to confront a traumatic memory from her past. While the whole world was out searching for missing Beth Kane, going door to door and demanding answers, Ryan was abducted by this psychotic middle aged white woman named The Candy Lady who kept showing up at the comic shop and luring kids into her van with jelly beans. She always took Black kids, foster kids, kids that were always slipping through the cracks and that no one would go looking for. Luckily for Ryan, she’d made friends with a little leather jacket-wearing lesbian in her foster home, and her name was Angelique. When a young Black child goes missing in this week’s episode, Ryan knows just where to look, and finds herself facing off against The Candy Lady again! Only this time, she’s a fully grown adult with serious martial arts training and she rightfully beats the literal hell out of this garbage woman, talking ’bout, “Remember me? I’m the girl you couldn’t break.”

Sophie and Alice, meanwhile, are galavanting around town and staring at each other very intently and getting their faces awfully close together, as they search for Kate. Alice keeps being like, “Ugh, why don’t you just trust me?” And Sophie keeps being all, “Are you serious right now with that question?” Their investigating leads them to the lab of someone named Ocean, where they find a leather jacket-wearing thief with the exact amount of eyeliner that you know she’s queer. She escapes, but leaves behind a very obvious clue! It’s her hotel key! With her room number written on it!

Alice flashes back to a guy she knew one time named Ocean, back when her hair was brown like Kate’s and she presumably was not yet slicing off some people’s faces and putting those faces on other people’s faces.

Ryan’s flashbacks turn up Angelique in the present day. And guess what? She was the robber of the lab who got in that fight with Alice and Sophie! The one with the eyeliner! Well, and she’s like, “What do you want, jerk?” And Ryan’s like, “Well, for starters I took down the Candy Lady. And for seconders, to be honest, some smooching.”


“Wow, you’re beaut—” “Do not.”
Stepping out of the Batmobile so clean, even Batman neva looked this good!
I wonder, when Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird play one-on-one, who really loses?
You ever heard of Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy?
No name jelly bean?
I bet your house gets egged every year on Halloween.
Hey listen, no big deal or whatever, but, like, do you want to be my best friend in the entire world or nah?
A comic book/record store still in business in 2021? Obviously a front for something.
You love your little power games.
Yes, and so do you.
Why is “cannibal” trending on Twi—oh, gross, no, why did I click on that?
You ever read the Bible? I like Song of Songs: I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit!
Fruit is a metaphor for boobs.
We’re not saying we ship it but also… nah, it’s too late! We ship it!
I am a gay tween, and in case you missed it, they put rainbow barrettes in my hair. The subtlety!
Every 13-year-old “bad girl best friend” in a leather jacket grows up to be a homosexual. And that’s on Jodie Foster.
Sophie just unbuttoned her shirt’s top button for the first time in her life; you need to go.
You said we were going to watch Buffy!
Say Joss Whedon’s name to me one more time!
Ryan Murphy presents American Horror Story: Murder House, Arrowverse Edition
How many times do I have to tell Anissa that if she’s going to tie me up, she can’t take a break halfway through for a Snickers and a LaCroix!
We told you! To stop saying! Joss Whedon’s! Name!
Ooh lab equipment! Wanna make some poison? Or a bomb?
I’ve gotta gay—go, I mean. I’ve gotta go.
Hello? I heard someone hear say Tom Brady, and not Serena Williams, is the GOAT? Come out, I just want to talk.
Ryan, Nic called, she said she still hasn’t forgotten about your Kryptonite wound!
“How about we do that 90s girl movies thing where we dance around in our underwear together and sing into a hairbrush?”
— Blushes —
Now. Where’s the person who wrote Tamsin’s ending on Lost Girl?
Thinking about her* (*the June 2020 Janelle Monaé cover of Gay Letter when she displayed just a hint of visible armpit hair)
You can’t possibly plan to win the hearts and minds of every Autostraddle reader just by standing there!
Can’t I tho? You’ve seen my face.

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