The Playboy Club
Mon. Sept 19, 10 p.m. EST (NBC)
“Nick Dalton is the ultimate playboy and one of the city’s top attorneys, rubbing elbows with everyone in the Windy City’s power structure. With mysterious and complicated ties to the mob, he comes to the aid of Maureen, the stunning and innocent new Bunny at the club, who accidentally kills the patriarch of the Bianchi crime family.”
I’ve already talked about this show at length because despite the 5,662 reasons why I should have radical socialist feminist rage about  it, I’m actually looking forward to it moreso than anything besides the new season of Extreme Couponing.  Why?
Because:
1. It stars a lesbian (Amber Heard, as Maureen) (Let’s not get into a debate about her latest predictable assertion that she doesn’t want the lesbian “label” and stick to the topic at hand which is fall television)
2. Features a lesbian character (Alice, played by Leah Renee)…
2a. …in a “Lavender Marriage” with a gay guy…
2b. …and they’re part of the Chicago chapter of 1960s LGBT rights group The Mattachine Society…
2c. …and she’s gonna get a real-life lady love interest!
3. Laura Benanti.
4. Hot chicks.
Verdict:
Unforgettable
Tues. Sept 20, 10 p.m. EST (CBS)
What’s especially interesting about the concept behind this show — a detective who remembers everything that’s ever happened, ever — is that in this day/age sometimes I feel like we’re using technology to keep records of every minute to ensure that we have access to the memories of everything that’s ever happened, ever. How often do you search your g-chat records to figure out how you actually feel about a thing or what you said and how often does that make all the difference?
UNFORGETTABLE stars Poppy Montgomery as Carrie Wells, an enigmatic former police detective with a rare condition that makes her memory so flawless that every place, every conversation, every moment of joy and every heartbreak is forever embedded in her mind. It’s not just that she doesn’t forget anything – she can’t; except for one thing: the details that would help solve her sister’s long-ago murder. Carrie has tried to put her past behind her, but she’s unexpectedly reunited with her ex-boyfriend and partner, NYPD Detective Al Burns (Dylan Walsh), when she consults on a homicide case.
I’ve only seen a two-minute preview, but in that two minutes I was like, holy shit, total recall is the only tool we really need to solve every crime ever.
There’s some boys in the show and also a smokin’ hot “sassy, street-smart cop” named Nina Inara (Daya Vaidya).
Verdict:
H8R
Wed. Sept 14, 8 p.m. EST (CW)
So you know how people on the internet are really mean and full of hate and you’re always like, “why can’t they just say it to my face?” Well, Mario Lopez had that very same thought, and he made it into a TV show where famous people confront their haters face-to-face.
Following the confrontation, the haters get to see the “real side” of people like Snookie and Kim Kardashian — not that fake side they see on television! The real side… Â also on television.
This show would be better if they replaced the Kardashians with like, Sadie Doyle and Tracie from Jezebel.
Verdict:
Suburgatory
Wed. Sept 28, 8:30 p.m. EST (ABC)
“Single father George only wants the best for his 16-year-old daughter, Tessa. So when he finds a box of condoms on her nightstand, he moves them out of their apartment in New York City to a house in the suburbs. But all Tessa sees is the horror of over-manicured lawns and plastic Franken-moms. Being in the ‘burbs can be hell, but it also may just bring Tessa and George closer than they’ve ever been.”
Yup. Single father George (Billy Chenoweth) cures Tessa’s desire to practice safe sex by carting her to the suburbs, where teenagers don’t have sex and nobody has any secrets, desperation, or Chicken Parties.
My ability to enjoy ths program will be greatly hindered by: 1. Condoms? Really? This premise is flawed, 2. The fact that all of these jokes have been told before and all of these characters have been played before! Mean Girls, Clueless, Stepford Wives, Jawbreakers, The O.C., etc.
Verdict:
Whitney
Thurs. Sept 22, 9:30 p.m. EST (NBC)
NBC’s new multi-camera comedy “Whitney” is a hilarious look at modern day love, which centers around Whitney (Whitney Cummings, “Chelsea Lately”) and Alex (Chris D’Elia, “Glory Daze”), a happily unmarried couple. Together for three years, the duo is in no rush to get hitched, which seems to get a mixed response from their friends.
This show is about a laugh track. In between giant bursts of laugh track, we witness the tender jokey relationship between Whitney and her boyfriend. They’re not married. Can you believe it? A couple together for five years and not even married! SO WEIRD.
In the preview, Whitney’s kept out of her husband’s hospital room because they’re not married, which inspires some sort of breakdown and a brief consideration of actually getting married. What a predicament! That must be nice, actually having the choice to get married! It would really suck if there was just no way on earth for you to get to your boyfriend’s hospital room.
Verdict:
Next: Prime Suspect, Pan Am, Grimm, Ringer and MORE!
