WEDNESDAY
The Whole Truth
Wednesdays starting Sept. 22, ABC, new
Maura Tierney is breathtaking with short hair. But not with Rob Morrow at her side. I do like the idea of watching a case unfold instead of being told who to root for. (Except I’m totally rooting for Maura’s side every time.)
Modern Family
Wednesdays starting Sept. 22, ABC, returning
The gayest and happiest show on TV. I wish I had just one relative who’s as funny (a la Phil), as lovely (a la Gloria or Claire) or as dapper (a la Manny) as these people.
Undercovers
Wednesdays starting Sept. 22, NBC, new
I like it when NBC *actually* gets more colorful. But the ads for this show just make me want an espresso.
THURSDAY
Outsourced
Thursdays starting Sept. 23, NBC, new
Casual racism against Indians is not funny, but the idea of outsourcing a white guy does make me chuckle. Probably not for an entire episode though. Unless they could actually outsource some of the white guy a-holes I work with. Hilarious!
$#*! My Dad Says
Thursdays starting Sept. 23, CBS, new
I still can’t believe a Twitter feed got turned into a TV show. How does one tweet-cap such a thing? Also, I think they should have just called it SHATner My Dad Says. Hee.
Grey’s Anatomy
Thursdays starting Sept. 23, ABC, returning
I have yet to sit through an entire episode — I just fast-forward to the Calzona parts — but this show features the best lesbian relationship on TV right now. And wow, is that a sad fact!
30 Rock
Thursdays starting Sept. 23, NBC, returning
I take it back — the best lesbian relationship on TV right now is Liz Lemon and her female viewers. I’m betting this will be the last season of 30 Rock, though, because middle America doesn’t seem to like this brilliant show. Whuck?!
The Office
Thursdays starting Sept. 23, NBC, returning
This really *should* be the last season of The Office, because it’s pointless to go on without Michael Scott. Hold me, Amy Ryan.
FRIDAY
Outlaw
Fridays starting Sept. 15, uh, which was a Wednesday, NBC, new
Who would ever quit the Supreme Court? I mean, except for Justice O’Connor (I still haven’t forgiven her). But Carly Pope is on this show, and I’ve loved Jimmy Smits ever since he romanced a butch Ellen Barkin in Switch. He might not be able to overcome the preposterous premise though.
Body of Proof
Fridays starting Nobody Knows When, ABC, new
Jeri Ryan and Dana Delany. What more could you possibly need?! Maybe some better writing. Maybe not.
…and the most marvelous splendid fantastically exciting thing ever:
Caprica!
Tuesdays starting October 5, SyFy, returning
Can the second half of the season really be as good as the first? I can’t wait to find out. And we don’t have to wait as long as we thought, because it’s coming back in October instead of January. And guess what: Paula Malcomson (the mom) is still in the credits. I guess she didn’t plummet to her death after all.
Whew. I’m spent. I’m sure I’ve forgotten a lot, and there are plenty of things I just don’t watch, like Bones and Fringe and House and probably some other amazing show with a one-word title. Lo siento!
And really: stock up now on snacks. This season will require some sustenance.
