‘Twas the last episode of Real World, and all across town,
All the housemates were fighting…
Or f*cking around.
In the morning, Ari swung from her bedpost with care…
In hopes her ex Ashley soon would wake there.
The OGs went out later on for some brunch.
(Ari was obviously the flyest of the bunch.)
And when they discussed how their exes had appeared,
Everyone was fine with it, even though it was totally weird.
After eggs, booze, and toast for the original crew,
Ari took her friends on a boat like all my favorite lesbians do.
She kept everything afloat for that time…
And later on they all go out to drink (after they’ve dined).
The reluctant friends think they’ve finally sealed the deal,
But Brian’s emotions eventually get way too real.
The alcohol didn’t help Brian’s anger problems at all,
So eventually Ari comes in to help him find calm.
Needless to say, that’s not what Brian’s about –
So the producers are quick to escort that bitch out.
As Brian recovers from a hangover in the morning,
His roommates wait for taxis and go into mourning.
Everyone’s departure is freakishly sad,
And – to be really honest – I cried and didn’t even feel bad.
Ari and Ashley are just a short distance from home,
But others depart the house with destinations unknown.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: To me, because I wasn’t paying attention to any of them.)
As this shit show of a social experiment comes to a close,
One thing is for certain: you really can always go home.
Your ex might be there, though – which sucks.
Here’s the questions you had for Ari Fitz on her final week
of surviving this hot mess – and being totally chic.
This Week’s #AutoAri Q&A
Open Q
https://twitter.com/Albokindaguy/status/451550836850569216
Aww thanks boo! Just doin me. :)
On Lahv
https://twitter.com/VanessaAFoxx/status/451554148207431680
Responded by this question is EXACTLY why I shot this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBMtTYCZoDg
https://twitter.com/madiee_nicole/status/451517361506754561
I think my topknot @ArisTopKnot already put it the best… “@missshc be all up in it”.
https://twitter.com/stcard2_sarah/status/451544529611796481
I’d bring @missashc. Have a feeling she’d find a way to feed me. ;)
@itsarifitz Do you miss Ashley M lol? #AUTOARI & Would you do it all over again?
— Ashley (@los_asheles) April 3, 2014
Nope, don’t miss Ash M at all. Would def do it all over again and live it up even more!
https://twitter.com/_xyyz/status/451546058145820672
Had to urban dictionary “otp”. Hope you meant the one true pairing in the house? If so, I’d say Ash & I. Is that allowed?! If not, Jenny and Brian were made for each other albeit lethally.
#AUTOARI dude u think this made your relationship better?
— Damon Clark Jr (@TheRAYnMan52) April 3, 2014
Undecided. I think it made us take care of things faster but also put a lot of pressure on us.
From Ari’s Topknot
https://twitter.com/ArisTopKnot/status/451585468304343040
You’re ridiculous, TK. It does creative things. ;)
https://twitter.com/ArisTopKnot/status/451544465086242817
Absolutely. TK keeps me on my #allworkallplay.
On The Real World, Roomies and Goodbyes
https://twitter.com/kenzieh3/status/451573356307836929
Prob Tom & Jamie.
https://twitter.com/lef_tenant/status/451566680016048130
Oh man. American cities, it’d have to be somewhere unique… prob New Orleans because there’s so much culture.
NYC would be too easy and I wouldn’t spend my time in the house at all.
If anywhere in the world, probably Dubai.
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451565753628491776
I think there was a moment I wanted every single person out of the house, lol. I was happy when Ash M left, though.
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451565940618952705
YES! There was a time Jenny and I left for a hair appointment and the rest of the roomies started day drinking at 10am. They went to Subway in bear suits!
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451564776641294336
https://twitter.com/Mjillian18/status/451543534039216130
Ashley. Then Tom & Jamie.
if there was an actual number of pranks you pulled what would that number be? #AUTOARI
— 🎆SPECIAL NEGRO🎆 (@AmayasTotem) April 3, 2014
Oh man… I think 6!
https://twitter.com/Rich_AmieTheGr8/status/451564144961921024
Nope still happens all the time. Cool thing is I’m working on so many projects I’m starting to get noticed from outside of the show now.
@itsarifitz #AutoAri What is your favorite moment that you love for the rest of your life? #RealWorldExPlosion
— Clarence Alexander Pryor 🏳️🌈 (@CPryorNYC) April 3, 2014
Tough question. Probably saying “it’s a wrap” on national television.
What was the best thing about this whole experience? What was the worst? @itsarifitz #AUTOARI
— Dat Muthafucka Vibez (@whoizvibez) April 3, 2014
Best thing: the opportunity to show the world my art.
Worst thing: becoming the house counselor. I didn’t go to school for that. :P
Would you do anything differently? @itsarifitz #AutoAri
— Delaney Allyn (@delaneyallyn) April 3, 2014
Notta d*** thing besides living it up even more.
https://twitter.com/_xyyz/status/451545113861173248
I think the OG’s would’ve had even more fun and we would’ve gotten a crazy roommate replacement. Prob crazier than Ash M.
@itsarifitz #AUTOARI What will you miss most about the house?
— Veronica Jenkins (@lovebeforehate) April 3, 2014
Waking up to those crazy fools and just living freely.
https://twitter.com/walruspornstar/status/451518851092467713
Nope nope. Too much work to do. #allworkallplay
https://twitter.com/bet683/status/451518561513902080
In a strange way… I’ll miss everyone. Sorry corny answer.
#AUTOARI Who's your favorite roommate? @itsarifitz
— Morgan Stiver (@morganstivverrr) April 3, 2014
Favorite to watch on TV is definitely Jenny. Favorite as friends —-> Ashley, Tom and Jamie.
https://twitter.com/madebyanthem_/status/451539919060885504
J-E-N-N-Y and second is Brian.
#AutoAri where were you when all this was happening @itsarifritz
— LoveyB (@BrownSkinCurl) April 3, 2014
Typically when I wasn’t shown in the later episodes it’s because I was working on my second film, OPEN CALL. It actually just released and you can watch it here: vimeo.com/itsarifitz/opencall
https://twitter.com/DwayneJay/status/451543252928589824
That’s too hard. I like them all, really. The one I didn’t get a chance to get close enough to (but I still think is a sweetheart) is Jenna.
https://twitter.com/_jshiggins/status/451544564579303424
Tom & Jamie.
https://twitter.com/_xyyz/status/451544819811098625
Define permanently. If you mean over a year, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
https://twitter.com/Danie2246/status/451565415328518145
Prob Tom.
On Brian, Jenny, and Cory and The Sh!tshow of a Lifetime
@itsarifitz did Brian really body slam you while u were trying to talk to him? Or was that playful? #AutoAri
— Sweet_Melissa (@Sweeet_Melissa1) April 3, 2014
I was so drunk. I don’t remember why he did that. He clearly was too.
https://twitter.com/CSoha16/status/451553025954295808
Yeah we’re good. I just think that was a bad night for him.
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451550955319083008
I think a ton were. Again, I don’t remember anything!
https://twitter.com/StarOfMyOwnLife/status/451546773858050048
Maybe 2x to 3x a day!
https://twitter.com/Coleslaw___/status/451550778776621056
It was, unfortunately.
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451549662483607553
Think it took a lot for Cory to do that, but I’m proud of him.
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451543835047653376
Jenny*? Don’t think so.
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451543339243167744
Ha! I mean… don’t we all when we’re upset?
@itsarifitz what are your thoughts on why the producers intervene with Brian and Cory but don't do anything when the couples fight #autoari
— Melissa Saxon-Price (@melissaprice24) April 3, 2014
I just flat out don’t understand why violence was okay in the house, in general.
https://twitter.com/jaria1998/status/451543125094576128
A ton always are. There’s just no way to get everything in there. I do think the important things made the cut though.
https://twitter.com/Sheniaaaaa_/status/451542995184386048
Meh. I think they just needed to get it out. I just wanted to give them a boxing ring and a timer.
On Ari’s Bright Future & Past
https://twitter.com/nikki_tiare/status/451588915372118016
Love this question. Friends and I in 8th grade all thought we’d be DJ’s when we got older. Ella Fitzsnizzle randomly became my DJ name then. Over the years, I shortened it and used the alias for other things. Finally settled on Ari Fitz as my name moving forward.
https://twitter.com/VealityScoop/status/451565238434164736
YES! #LEGGO!
@itsarifitz would you do a second show
— Jackkiiee (@Jnutty09) April 3, 2014
Totally. But on my terms. Until then I’m experimenting with “show concepts” on youtube. Few things launching there soon. Check it out: https://www.youtube.com/user/itsarifitz.
https://twitter.com/LaneStreet/status/451554769854038016
Wouldn’t give up my Real World experience for anything. That said, not interested in a challenge but open to other shows. See the question above.
@itsarifitz #AUTOARI How did it feel watching yourself this entire season & what did Ashley say about that girl you almost hooked up with?
— thick dick energy™️ (@DaddyIndigo) April 3, 2014
Ha! She didn’t have to say anything… she just gave me a look and I knew.
It’s totally surreal watching yourself on TV. I just criticized myself over the dumb things I said, weird outfits and all the times I never fixed myself up.
https://twitter.com/earthtotaymato/status/451542979358892033
That IS a good one! Only thing I can say to aspiring filmmakers is: make LOTS of films. Make short films, make music videos. Just keep creating and telling people about your work.
https://twitter.com/_jshiggins/status/451590421953536000
Hehe. *birdman hand rub*
https://twitter.com/patricktdgaf/status/451604691130908672
Cuz people like you make me feel all warm and fuzzy.
How do you "do you" with so much success and still be able to stay so selfless? #autoari
— Amanda Chan (@3990achan) April 3, 2014
Aww, love. I love this question. I think it’s because I know I’m still learning, growing, becoming. Who am I do become selfish, egomaniacal, etc when I still have so much to learn?
https://twitter.com/indianchic94/status/451547204072001536
Genuinely just blushed right now. Thank you, gorgeous.
https://twitter.com/lef_tenant/status/451547056528977921
Have no clue why, but first thing that came to my mind was: SWERVE.
Can we grab a burrito in the Mission and chat about movies and what inspires you? You’re kinda my idol right now #AutoAri
— Elicia Ysa (@EliciaYsabel) April 3, 2014
Umm… yahs! Mission burritos are the sh!t.
https://twitter.com/frozenxinspire/status/451544717562347520
The Anniversary + the full prequel mini-series, WATCHING, is all up on youtube here.
OPEN CALL, my second film, just released this week:
@itsarifitz if you could meet anyone ever who would it be? #AutoAri
— Delaney Allyn (@delaneyallyn) April 3, 2014
Such a hard question. Probably Frida Kahlo.
@itsarifitz This actually is a question #AUTOARI do you/ did you ever participate in Day Of Silence?
— me (@ttylrrr) April 3, 2014
I haven’t. I’d love to, though.
https://twitter.com/lef_tenant/status/451554332157415424
Leave it to Irene XO to bring up the past past. The transition was like finally waking up after a long uncomfortable sleep. I always felt like something was missing and it sucks it took 8 years of me working in tech for me to figure it out.
https://twitter.com/BlondieBear21/status/451555320306089984
Gah, the one I’m wearing right now! I have this yellow beanie and the way it’s knitted makes it the most comfortable thing ever. It’s the beanie featured on the @ArisFitBeanie account.
https://twitter.com/lef_tenant/status/451554998162587648
Definitely a winner.
The answer is the moment I finished my first novel. After hours and hours, I realized it still didn’t communicate what I wanted it to and never would. I needed something more visceral.
https://twitter.com/KMQ17/status/451565494215012352
BRUH! Love Breaking Bad (which I know, I know is over but I never finished it because I don’t want it to end). Just got into Scandal and never finished Dexter either but it’s incredible.
What’s Yo Sign, Girl
https://twitter.com/chrisbagarella/status/451583815182331905
I’m an Aquarius.
Our Winner
Every week, Ari picked her fave question out of the bunch and we rewarded them with lavish prizes. This week’s winners, @lef_tenant, @delaneya
Blast From the Past
Each week, we tuned into episodes of Real World and AS readers did, too – and they could tweet questions for Ari Fitz, raging queer, using the hashtag #AutoAri. Ari answered every single one here on Autostraddle. Check out the old posts by clicking the image below!
In the meantime, you can follow Ari and Autostraddle on Twitter. (And me!)
