Ethics of Lust: Autostraddle is Legally Sexy

Because Autostraddle is awesome like that, many of its articles from the past week have dealt with legal issues, or legal figures, surrounding sex and sexuality. Some of them were too good to let pass without discussing in an Ethics of Lust post, so this week’s topic is a smorgasbord of the law and sexuality inspired by Autostraddle. Enjoy.

Let’s start at the top of our court systems with Autostraddle’s article on Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Along with what was already mentioned in the Autostraddle article on her, this woman has done a lot for the laws surrounding the sexes and even sexuality. She founded the Women’s Rights Law Reporter, the first law journal to focus exclusively on women’s rights, helped women get into military academies in United States vs. Virginia and her inspiring dissent in the abortion case of Gonzales v. Carhart that spoke of women’s liberation from government oppression was the reason I went to law school. It’s not surprising then that, as the Autostraddle article states, she probably wouldn’t be confirmed today, as she is much, much too liberal for the current political climate.

During my first year of law school, I got to hear Justice Ginsburg speak and as frail and tiny as she looks, she’s got quite a powerful mind. She once stated, “Reproductive choice has to be straightened out. There will never be a woman of means without choice anymore. That just seems to me so obvious. The states that changed their abortion laws before Roe are not going to change back. So we have a policy that only affects poor women, and it can never be otherwise.” The way in which she discusses abortion not as a women’s rights issue but as an issue of class shows how liberal – and radical for this court – of a judge she is. She’s one of the only members of the court willing to recognize and loudly protest that the laws surrounding sexuality, and all laws for that matter, disproportionately affect lower class citizens and for that I love her.

Via laurensthoughtblog.blogspot.com

I just hope Ginsburg will be around to hear the Prop 8 trial if it ever reaches the Supreme Court. Her liberal views on the right to privacy surrounding sexuality would be beneficial considering the legitimization of sex, and the children that may or may not come from that sex, is what the proponents of Prop 8 based their whole argument on during the Prop 8 trials. I know, I was there.

Attending the Prop 8 closing arguments was one of the highlights of interning at NCLR during law school (don’t know NCLR? You should. They’re awesome and they have a legal hotline that can help you if you ever face discrimination of any kind). I sat and watched the anti-gay marriage attorney ramble in circles about how gay marriage can’t produce children so gays can’t get married because gays can’t have kids and kids are all marriage is and it’s fine if they do that in our own homes but don’t make me have to watch it or my kids might want to get gay married gawd I’m so scared my daughter might marry that bull-dyke named Bertha she’s been hanging around instead of the senator’s son.

His closing argument was seriously like one long run on sentence that even proponents of Prop 8 that I’ve talked to thought came across as unprepared and unprofessional. Half-way through his bit about how important it is for children to have a strong married mother and father, my friend turned to me and said, “this asshole just left his wife and kids for a younger woman.”

Via LGBTPOV

This is the same asshole that now doesn’t want the tapes of his closing arguments let out into the public or else people might know how big of a hypocritical, bigoted dick he is. Autostraddle’s article on this topic calls him a whiny crybaby, which is about right.

Speaking of whiny crybabies, those who called for Joe Solmonese to leave the Human Rights Campaign should be happy. (Ok, they’re not really whiny crybabies, they had legitimate reasons for wanting him gone, but I had to segue somehow). As Autostraddle reported, Pam Spaulding of Pam’s House Blend – one of the people who called for Solmonese resignation – broke the news of his resignation on Friday and on Saturday the HRC made their official statement. While I see the HRC as a place too often influenced by rich, hetero-normative, East Coast gays, it’s hard to deny the work it, and Solmonese as its President, has done for the rights of sexual minorities. Yes, it needs to do a lot more and yes I think it has thrown trans people under the bus so many times that I quit donating to them, but even with all of that, I’m sad to see Solmonese’s resignation celebrated by the same people that have benefitted from his years of hard work.

I once interviewed an HRC attorney Lara Schwartz about her work with the organization and found that the HRC is doing a lot more for us gays than I thought. Yes, it lobbies Congress and works on Capitol Hill, but the HRC also has smaller more local projects that work with local businesses, has a whole department that helps encourage and support people in coming out and it’s currently supporting the arts by partnering with artist iO Tillet Wright to do a photo project featuring LGBTQ community members, as seen in a recent Autostraddle article. You can even go to its shop and get a shirt with Tegan, or is it Sara, on it to help support this project.

Via Shop.HRC.org

I don’t love the HRC enough to marry it, but I do know it would fight for my right if I wanted to. I hope that the organization is able to find a highly qualified person to take Solmonese’s place, preferably someone with experience working on issue of race and class. Oooh, I hope it’s Justice Ginsburg!

Ethics of Lust: On the Legality of Stripping and Burlesque

Since last week’s Ethics of Lust focused on scantily clad – and fully clothed – people walking around in public, I thought this week’s post could focus on scantily clad people inside, or more specifically in strip clubs and burlesque halls.

VIA ALOTTA BOUTTÉ FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

It’s hard to talk about modern day strip clubs without at least a minor throwback to the days of yore, when Salome did the Dance of the Seven Veils for Kind Herod, Mata Hari did her infamous provocative dance at the Moulin Rouge that took her down to only a jeweled bra and headdress and Gypsy Rose Lee made her way past vaudeville and into stardom with her quick and quirky routines that often bared very little of her skin.

In 1930’s London, the Windmill Theatre circumvented the law that nude women could not move by providing tableaux vivants, or “live pictures,” in which the naked women would pose theatrically and not move during the duration of the act. Other places, including the Moulin Rouge and Folies Begère in Paris, adopted similar tactics to avoid the authorities, setting an early tradition of stretching the law in nude performance halls.

VIA ARTHUR LLOYD

The “stripper” that is prevalent in today’s culture is often attributed to Carol Doda, the first known topless go-go dancer, and the lap dances that are now standard in strip clubs are attributed to Doda’s San Francisco neighbors the infamous Mitchell Brothers and their O’Farrell Street Theatre. The popular pole dance was created in the late 20th Century in Canada and spread through the international Spearmint Rhino clubs until it became not only a staple in most clubs but also an art form practiced in circuses, performance halls and even gyms worldwide.

via weirdasiannews.com

In 2005, the size of the global strip club industry was estimated at $75 billion and strip clubs accounted for 19% of the adult industry’s profits. With that much money at stake, it’s no surprise that legislation banning strip clubs, erotic halls and burlesque bars is often met with intense protest. Still, many laws exist limiting what can and can’t happen in a strip club and places like Iceland have outlawed stripping all together.

VIA WIKIPEDIA

To help protect the performers, most governments regulate alcohol intake and the distances between the clientele and the dancers, especially when they’re nude, and all (that I’ve found at least) outlaw drugs in nude establishments, even more liberal places like Amsterdam. Many countries, including Iceland, Canada and Japan, have recently started limiting special visas they give to “entertainers” having – not so shockingly – found a connection between these special visas and human trafficking. Yet despite government attempts to mitigate harm perpetrated against performers, crime, especially organized crime, still runs rampant through clubs and places like Iceland, Amsterdam and South Africa are in the process of shutting down multiple establishments in the hopes of cutting down on crime.

VIA PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

However, a 2008 report by Australia’s NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research showed that more crime happens in “places of worship” than in places for “adult entertainment.” Some speculate that this is only because crimes in adult entertainment establishments are less likely to be reported, but I’d argue that – at least in regards to sexual assault – a nude performer is just as likely to report harassment by a client, coworker or boss as say an alter boy is to report harassment by a priest. That said, the fact still remains that, especially in less regulated areas, sexual assault or coercion happens quite frequently in nude and partially nude establishments – including more soft-core places like Hooters and male establishments as well.

VIA LIFE.COM

The U.S. Supreme Court case of Barnes v. Glen Theatre, Inc. gave jurisdictions the right to outlaw full or partial nudity, and Erie v. Pap’s A.M. confirmed this ruling stating that while limiting stripping is limiting free speech, outlawing stripping is allowed to help mitigate secondary crime. Many jurisdictions, including Houston and Detroit, outlaw showing women’s nipples (although male nipples are fine) and places like California only allow full nudity if alcohol isn’t being consumed. Even in a place like Portland, OR, where the famously lax strip club regulations have led to the most strip clubs per capita than any other town, performers outside of specified establishments must still wear pasties on top and cover their genitalia on bottom when dancing. Luckily for all of us burlesque performers in Portland, there are plenty of places to purchase pasties and merkins nearby and online.

Via Dirty Martini and the New York Burlesque Festival

While it may be legal to ban and limit nude performances, many stripper and sex worker’s rights advocates believe lawmakers should focus less on their issues with nudity and more on labor issues such as legitimate wages, sexual harassment in the workplace and health benefits. Places like the Lust Lady, a famous unionized nude bar in San Francisco and one of my favorite nude establishments, have lobbied for strippers rights and have made a name for themselves by thinking outside the normal strip-club box, including featuring dancers that aren’t traditionally seen in strip clubs like plus-size women, women of color and butch women.

Via Lusty Lady SF

The Neo-burlesque movement has also done a lot to encourage open-mindedness about nudity and the strip-tease. Conventions like BurlyCon and Tease-O-Rama encourage people of all shapes, sizes, colors, sexual orientations and gender identities to get up on stage and feel sexy, often incorporating humor into their routines. The Burlesque Hall of Fame, located in Las Vegas, immortalizes these routines and recognizes the intricate art of the strip-tease while respecting and protecting the rights of the performers.

Via Harlem Shake Burlesque's Myspace Page

Possibly because of the stripper’s rights and neo-burlesque movements, laws in the United States and elsewhere regarding stripping and the strip tease are becoming more liberal, allowing for a broader standard of morality and decency than was seen before. However, self-regulation is far from being achieved and, if only for the protection of performers, it will be a long time until we see laws controlling activities of nude performers abolished.

Ethics of Lust: All About Scantily Clad Women

Last week’s Ethics of Lust had a dildo giveaway, a discussion on drive-thru sex toy shops and a “vibrating cudgel”. What it didn’t have – as one commenter pointed out – was enough “cute pics of girls in underwear and links to cool tumblrs.” I completely agree, which is why the next few Ethics of Lust posts are going to focus on the laws surrounding displaying, presenting and showing body parts to others. While I can’t guarantee many links to cool tumblrs, I can guarantee you’ll get more pictures of cute girls.
Starting with this one:

Via I Speak For Myself

And this one:

via NY Mag

Why, you might ask, did I answer a request for more “cute pics of girls in underwear” with a picture of news anchor Mariam Sobh wearing a hijab and photographer Catherine Opie breastfeeding? Maybe this video (which won a Voices of the Year award at BlogHer ’11) from PhD in Parenting will help you understand:

The laws surrounding what you can and cannot show of your own body in public are so complex and convoluted that I could not even begin to cover them all in a single blog post. Whether they’re requiring the burqa in Afghanistan or outlawing it in Europe, limiting breastfeeding in public in Georgia or outlawing “sagging” pants that show your underwear, or worse yet butt-crack, in Louisiana, lawmakers always seem to have an opinion over what body parts people – most especially women – should and shouldn’t show.

Via Love Detour

Most of the laws, like the ones requiring niqab, outlawing scantily clad women or banning public nudity, claim to be for the purpose of protecting women from predators (read: men assume all men can’t control their “natural urges”) and/or protecting the public from “vulgarity” and “indecency.” Whether you agree or disagree with the benefits of the recent SlutWalks happening around the world, there’s no denying they have gotten people thinking critically about the societal and legal requirements put on women to cover up their bodies.

Like most other laws regarding sexuality, whether nudity in public is illegal or not hinges on a very subjective idea of “decency” – or even “properness” in regards to breastfeeding in public. The hardest part about writing this article was finding an exact amount of skin that constituted being “indecent,” as it varied so much depending on social mores and content. For example, how is this on a billboard ad for all to see ok:

Via American Apparel Ad Archives

But this on a website requires me to be over 18 to view:

Via NoFauxxx

Often times, the enforcement over whether something is “indecent” or not will come down to public (or I should say assumed public) opinion, or “properness”. Remember when ABC cut a Lane Bryant commercial out of its Dancing with the Stars line-up because it was too risqué, only to allow a much more revealing Victoria Secret ad to run?

Via Sinful Misadventures

The ridiculous reasoning for this kind of censorship goes something like this: the more skin you show the more indecent an image is, fat girls show more skin (because we have more skin) therefore they’re more indecent when seen in a bra and undies.

Via Queen of Sports

While most places still have “public indecency” laws, some countries and states have recognized that nudity doesn’t always mean indecency. Throughout the world, people are fighting for – and winning – the right to bare their bodies in public if they so choose. Most recently, New York’s lack of a ban on being topless in public has inspired some great social experiments and parades of women marching through Central Park as bare chested as their male counter parts. These events don’t just happen in New York, though, as National Go Topless Day has inspired similar political protests across the nation (in fact this post will go live on August 21, National Go Topless Day, so go out and celebrate!).

Via The Gloss

Additionally, amazing mommy bloggers and breastfeeding rights activists have been working for years to change laws and social norms surrounding baring a breast to feed a child in public. Thanks to their work, 45 states now have laws allowing women to breastfeed openly in public, however only 28 states exempt breastfeeding mothers from public indecency laws.

Via BlogLovin'

While they may seem contradictory, laws disallowing women to be completely covered in public can be just as oppressive as laws disallowing women to be completely nude. A quick glance down the list of links on the Muslimah Media Watch website shows just how much Muslim women are having to fight for their right to cover up if they so choose: Egypt Air Hostesses want the right to wear a hijab at work, hijab used (once again) as a pawn in political campaigns, Iranian football/soccer team banned from the Women’s World Cup for wearing hijab. The list goes on and on.

Via Right2wear.tumblr.com

Feminist Muslims and their allies are fighting for their personal right to wear whatever they choose and many, like those pictured above, have joined the SlutWalks in protest of laws dictating women’s clothing. In response to FIFA’s hijab ban, The Right 2 Wear campaign organized soccer/football games all across the world, asking women to play wearing a hijab in support of women who are banned from playing the sport because of their clothing choices.

Via Payvand

Laws defining public decency and properness are so heavily tied to constructed social norms that even when they’re lifted, officials and lay people often still attempt to enforce them. Women walking topless through Central Park are going to be asked to cover up, mothers breastfeeding in restaurants are going to be asked to do “that” in private and women wearing headscarves are going to be gawked at by strangers. But, thanks to the activists mentioned above, that social change is coming and maybe one day soon the person who can decide how much or how little of my body to show can be me.

P.S. I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who came over to my site last week and signed up for the Eden Fantasys dildo giveaway last week! I’m glad the toys are going to awesome Autostraddlers and my beau is glad ze doesn’t have to trip over them to get into my apartment anymore.

The Ethics of Lust: Your Dildo Might be Illegal

Forgive me for last week’s pause in the sexy law talk – I was at BlogHer ’11, a female blogger conference where I got to meet the infamous Riese and hear her speak all about Autostraddle, which was beyond fun and exciting. While there, I also made friends with the ladies over at Eden Fantasys, who gave me about 50 dildos and a few vibrators as well. Because even I can’t use 50 dildos, I’m giving some away on my site, so go there to get one please, as they are currently blocking the view of my TV.

Via Sinful Misadventures

With all these dildos piled high around me, I think it’s a good time to discuss the laws surrounding the purchasing of sex toys. As we talked about in our first Ethics of Lust discussion, a lot of harmless stuff gets classified as “obscene” and is then outlawed by the government. This list varies depending on the country or state, but chances are that vibrating rabbit you love so much was at some point illegal to make, sell, buy and/or own and, if you live in say India or Alabama, may still land you in jail even today.

Via Babeland

Not surprisingly, the Southern United States seems to particularly hate the use of sex toys and many states have banned them on “moral grounds”. Conservative Christian preacher Dan Ireland (I’m hoping no relation to my 90’s fantasy girlfriend Kathy Ireland) summed up the anti-sex toy argument when he said, “These devices should be outlawed because they are conducive to promiscuity, because they promote loose morals and because they entice improper and potentially deadly behaviors.”

Via Vintagesleazepaperbacks.wordpress.com

Sure, sometimes reverends die of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” while hog-tied with a dildo up their butt, wearing SCUBA gear and rubberized underwear, but normal use of sex toys doesn’t cause potential death nor do they lead to promiscuity. If anything, using sex toys benefits people’s health and gives people an option for sexual satiation without having to go out and be promiscuous. But of course I’m preaching to the choir here, as most readers of this article probably own a plethora of pleasure that would make Kinsey proud. If only I could get the Supreme Court of Alabama to do the same – or at least admit to doing the same. When faced with the issue in 2009, the court upheld the state’s ban on selling sex toys, stating that “public morality can still serve as a legitimate rational basis for regulating commercial activity, which is not a private activity.” What about Lawrence v Texas, the famous Supreme Court case that knocked down anti-sodomy laws and recognized the right to sexual privacy? The Alabama Supreme Court recognized the right to use a sex toy in private, but argued that, “there is nothing `private’ or `consensual’ about the advertising and sale of a dildo.”

Via A Typical Joe

In other words, you can own a dildo, but you can’t buy one at your local “adult novelty” shop. Luckily for you in Alabama, online sex positive shops like GoodVibes, Babeland and Eden Fantasys offer rush delivery. But for those of you that can’t wait for overnighted packages, fear not, as it turns out some stores are still selling sex toys in states where such activity is banned, just under different names. For example, this BodyWand makes an excellent “personal massager”, available in three different sizes for the various sized muscles in your, um, back.

Via Bambino Musical

Yet, despite the ban, some brazen stores are just outright selling sex toys, hoping to lure conservatives in by offering to swap guns for sex toys. While this may seem like a fair trade to me, under the law stores like this still have to be careful to not have “obscene” or “lewd” advertising that might offend the neighbors’ delicate sensibilities.

Via NY Daily News

Thankfully, Alabama is the strictest state in the nation when it comes to selling sex toys, as an appeals court shot down Texas’s similar ban in 2008. However, conversations and events promoting the use of sex toys are still routinely banned, as was this Law Students for Reproductive Rights seminar at the University of Wisconsin Law School. As someone who lives in Oregon, a state full of sex toy shops and strip clubs, I can’t imagine not being able to mozy down to my local female friendly sex toy boutique to pick out a present for a partner. As much as I love my online sex toy shops, it’s hard to gauge the size and texture of a toy solely by pictures. Unfortunately, until these bans are lifted, many customers will just have to bust out the measuring tape and hope for the best. For our readers outside of the United States, what are sex toy shops like in your area? Are there any banned items or any special branding that has to happen to sell a sex toy?

The Ethics of Lust: On Interracial Relationships and Anti-Miscegenation Laws

Last week’s inaugural Ethics of Lust piece inspired some intellectual and encouraging comments from you all, and I am just tickled pink triangles that you are so eager to engage in these conversations about the laws and sexuality with me. I just want to give everyone a big electronic, consensual, non-sexual hug. *group hug!*

Today’s subject matter – as most future posts will be – was inspired by comments made on last week’s post. Turns out, many of you were upset to see that a black man having sex with a white woman was on the Cambria List of potentially obscene pornographic subject matters. You were probably upset because, well, racism is actually very upsetting and has led to multiple horrific laws enacted to enable its existence.

Today, we’re focusing our discussion on one particular type of racist laws: anti-miscegenation laws, or laws outlawing the mixing of different racial groups in marriage, cohabitation or sexual relations.

I should state right off the bat that I’m in an interracial relationship, so I’m quite biased when it comes to this subject. In the same way that being a big ol’ gaybo apparently makes me unfit to objectively talk about gay rights, being an exogamist – or someone who “mates” outside of their race – must make me unfit to objectively talk about how messed up anti-miscegenation laws are. So to hell with objectivity, I’ll be just subjective.

It probably shouldn’t, considering how often other civil rights are taken away by voting and legislation, but it shocked me to find out that 46% of Mississippi Republicans would vote to ban interracial marriage if given the chance. While I was unable to find out how much of the overall population that is, I know that it’s a scary amount of bigotry. Luckily, thanks to the Supreme Court ruling in Loving v. Virginia, they won’t get the chance to vote on that particular subject.

via Stus

However, despite the 1967 outlawing of all race-based marriage restrictions, in 2009 this asshole judge:

via CBS

refused to marry this adorable couple:

via CNN

solely because they were of different races. He justified his racism by stating that he was doing it to protect the children, because children of mixed races have too hard of a life (for proof, see Barack Obama, Devon Aoki, and all children of Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs). He went on to state that he wasn’t racist because he had a black friend once. Ok, he didn’t really say that, but that’s pretty much the same things as saying he marries black couples occasionally, which is what he really said.

via BigQueer

Gay marriage activists are rightfully finding connections and similarities between the anti-anti-interracial marriage movement and the gay marriage movement, but their mistake is often referring to anti-interracial oppression as a thing of the past that we’ve already overcome. Despite the fact that interracial marriages are at an all-time high in the United States and support for interracial marriage is high (at least among 18-25 year olds), interracial couples of all cultures and creeds still face major discrimination and obstacles.

For some quick examples: Bob Jones University in South Carolina waited until 2000 to remove it’s ban against interracial relationships; in 2005, a group of men spread toxic mercury around an interracial couple’s house in Cleveland to encourage them to leave the neighborhood; and in 2008, four marines killed their superior officer because he was involved in an interracial relationship.

via zazzle

So why is it that interracial marriage pisses people off so badly? I remember when I was young my mom told me that kids of interracial parents have it rough and pointed to my good friend as an example. I then poignantly pointed out that his dad was an abusive alcoholic and blaming his rough childhood on his mixed race was, well, racist. She stormed away offended at being called a racist.

Is this adversity to mixed race children solely a racist concept? Is there actually proof that mixed race children have more issues than those whose parents come from the same race and culture?

via amazon

Every study I found on the subject was wrought with so much racism and stereotypes that it was impossible to weed out any valid scientific data supporting this. I did, however, find some compelling arguments suggesting children of mixed race parents are healthier and more attractive than their same race counterparts and that genetic diversity actually helps weed out disease.

If not for the kids, then why? I hate to just rely on the obvious argument of racism, but I’m afraid that’s all anti-miscegenation laws come down to. So sorry, folks, but I think all we’ve really learned today is that racism still exists, despite multiple laws condemning it.

Maybe the gay marriage movement can learn a bit from the anti-anti-interracial marriage movement and focus less on the government given right to marry and more on the discrimination surrounding laws limiting marriage. Because, as Loving v. Virginia shows, marriage does not equal acceptance.

via Autostraddle's awesome article on Kirk and Uhura

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: L.M. Fleming is a writer, sexpert, recent law school graduate and occasional burlesque dancer. Although she currently resides in Portland, Oregon, she often travels the world in search of colorful queers and frothy beers. When not volunteering, cooking or attempting to be crafty, she does logistical consulting for creative projects, manages a nonprofit dedicated to making promotional documentary films for other nonprofits and runs SinfulMisadventures.com, a site dedicated to the Seven Deadly Sins.

NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Special: The Ethics of Lust’s Inaugural Post

Hello and welcome to The Ethics of Lust, a reoccurring piece in which we will discuss sex and people’s issues with it. What makes me, L.M. Fleming, qualified to lead this discussion? Mainly just an intense fascination with people’s intense fascinations with sex – which led me to study sex law, write sex columns and blogs and work as a sex counselor. Plus, I watch a lot of porn. While I may call myself a sexpert, I’m not a foremost expert on anything except procrastination, so I hope you will join the discussion and lend us your input, expertise and experiences.

Ok, introduction done, now let’s get to the good part. For our first topic, we’re going to discuss porn. But not just any porn, fisting porn.

via jarpasmannen

As someone who loves a good fisting show (see the Crash Pad Series scene between Dylan Ryan and her real life partner Trucker Cash), I was shocked to see fisting on the Cambria List of legally taboo topics for porn and even more shocked to see that the U.S. government is actually prosecuting porn producers on “obscenity” charges for fisting.

Apparently, the government thinks lesbians are obscene.

Or at least that’s how it looked when I scanned the Cambria List and saw many acts in which I commonly engage listed there. No wonder people are scared of us sexual heathens, they’re told we’re going to teach their young blonde girls how to be fisted by large men while blindfolded and on their periods – all of which is “obscene” according to the Cambria List and all of which I would totally watch in a porn.

via Someecards.com

What is it about fisting that has the government all riled up? Why is it that, in an era of terrorism, over-population, economic crises and mounting national debt, our Department of Justice is spending its money prosecuting a guy named Seymour Butts who makes a living off of selling fisting porn? (To be honest and fair, he was prosecuted 10 years ago, but 2001 really isn’t that far away, especially in judicial years.)

It’s easy to blame such things on the religious right, but it’s more than just the conservative folks being scared here. When people think of fisting, they think of tears and rips caused by punches in the privates, they don’t think of it as the satisfying, pleasurable and highly intimate experience that it can be. I remember the thrill of the first time I saw my whole hand was inside my girlfriend, realizing that she had gotten so turned I just slipped in without really trying. Neither of us were in pain – on the contrary, both of us were extremely turned on – and when she climaxed it was one of the most pleasurable, personal moments of our entire relationship. Sure, you can hurt yourself if you’re not careful – I know someone who has permanent damage from a fisting gone wrong – but if done right, fisting is both safe and sexually satisfying.

Fear and misinformation has kept fisting on the list of taboo topics and given it a spot on the Cambria List of obscene topics. For something to be considered obscene, a judge and/or jury must find that the contemporary community would consider the work (in this case fisting porn) “appeals to the prurient interest,” which means it can cause an excessive interest in sexual matters. It also has to lack artistic, political or scientific value, in which case pretty much every episode of The L Word was obscene.

via L Word Wiki

If the whole basis for something being obscene is causing the average person to get extra turned on, and the whole basis for fisting being taboo is fear, what does that say about our society’s connection of fear and arousal? Are we simply afraid of being aroused or are we aroused by that which scares us? Is fisting considered obscene solely because people are too afraid to try it themselves?

In a recent case regarding California’s attempt at outlawing obscenity and violence in video games sold to children, Justice Scalia, in an uncharacteristically liberal moment, stated, “Disgust is not a valid basis for restricting expression.”

via Kotaku

I’m rarely able to say this, but I’m with Justice Scalia. Disgust and fear shouldn’t be the sole basis for keeping anything illegal. Therefore, fisting, if done consensually and cautiously, should be legal to do and view.

For those out there who may still have trepidation regarding fisting, check out Hand in the Bush: The fine Art of Vaginal Fisting, a guide to the subject and remember, patience and lube are the keys to not getting hurt.

via NorthernSun.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: L.M. Fleming is a writer, sexpert, recent law school graduate and occasional burlesque dancer. Although she currently resides in Portland, Oregon, she often travels the world in search of colorful queers and frothy beers. When not volunteering, cooking or attempting to be crafty, she does logistical consulting for creative projects, manages a nonprofit dedicated to making promotional documentary films for other nonprofits and runs SinfulMisadventures.com, a site dedicated to the Seven Deadly Sins.

Pure Poetry #20: Veronica Franco, the Courtesan

Pure Poetry Week(s):

#1 – 2/23/2011 – Intro & Def Poetry Jam, by Riese
#2 – 2/23/2011 – Eileen Myles, by Carmen
#3 – 2/23/2011 – Anis Mojgani, by Crystal
#4 – 2/24/2011 – Andrea Gibson, by Carmen & Katrina/KC Danger
#5 – 2/25/2011 – Leonard Cohen, by Crystal
#6 – 2/25/2011 – Staceyann Chin, by Carmen
#7 – 2/25/2011 – e.e. cummings, by Intern Emily
#8 – 2/27/2011 – Louise Glück, by Lindsay
#9 – 2/28/2011 – Shel Silverstein, by Intern Lily & Guest
#10 – 2/28/2011 – Michelle Tea, by Laneia
#11 – 2/28/2011 – Saul Williams, by Katrina Chicklett Danger
#12 – 3/2/2011 – Maya Angelou, by Laneia
#13 – 3/4/2011 – Jack Spicer, by Riese
#14 – 3/5/2011 – Diane DiPrima, by Sady Doyle
#15 – 3/6/2011 – Pablo Neruda, by Intern Laura
#16 – 3/7/2011 – Vanessa Hidary, by Lindsay
#17 – 3/7/2011 – Adrienne Rich, by Taylor
#18 – 3/8/2011 – Raymond Carver, by Riese
#19 – 3/9/2011 – Rock WILK, by Gabrielle
#20 – 3/9/2011 – Veronica Franco, by Queerie Bradshaw

While I was living in Florence, Italy, my flamboyantly gay Italian literature teacher introduced me to the Rosie the Riveter of Renaissance Italy: Veronica Franco.

I immediately fell in love. And how could I not, with such tenderly erotic poetry such as this:

Cosi dolce e gustevole divento,
Quando mi trovo in letto,
Da cui amata e gradita mi sento,
Che quel mio piacer vince ogni diletto …

(So sweet and appetizing do I become,
When I find myself in bed,
With he who loves and welcomes me,
That our pleasure surpasses all delight …)
~From my Italian literature class notes, no idea what poem this is.

Like Rosie the Riveter, Veronica Franco became an icon for women to leave the confines of the home and enter the world of men. Unfortunately, in those days the only real way to do so was to become a prostitute.

Renaissance men expected their wives to be pure(ly idiotic), but demanded their mistresses to be well-educated and worldly. With her quick wit and sharp pen, Veronica Franco soon became one of the most sought-after courtesan in Venice and friend and confidant to some of the most powerful men in Europe.

Men fell in love with her and wrote long sonnets about her beauty and intellect. However, Veronica knew better than to fall for their idle words and in this poem demands more from her lover, Marco Vernier, to whom she wrote many beautiful and strong-willed pieces on love:

If I could be convinced by what you show me
In words and face – for both can be a cover
For a fickle heart ¬– that you do truly love;
If what your mind keeps well concealed within you
Could be brought out in open by such actions
By which the other cannot be deceived,
The fear I feel could easily be lifted,
Fear that, if I proceed without full surety
I might be laughed at for a simple fool.
~Terze Rime 2, translated from original Italian by Laura Anna Stortini & Mary Prentice Lillie in Women Poets of the Italian Renaissance: Courtly Ladies & Courtesans

But not everyone loved Veronica Franco. As we all know, men tend to hate uppity women, especially insecure beta males. Take, for example, the schmarmy Maffio Venier, a poet known exclusively these days for talking smack about the talented and unique Veronica Franco.

After Venier was particularly crude and called her “Ver’unica puttana, or “a truly unique whore,” Veronica penned a viciously clever response, my favorite of all of her pieces.

This poem begins with some tongue and cheek banter about the frailty of women and calls out Venier’s “knighthood,” questioning why he would attack her if he be as noble of a knight as he claims:

“Such an attack is the more unexpected
Against us women, who are made by nature,
More than all else, for giving joy to men;
Weak in our bodies, very ill adapted
For doing harm to others, hardly daring
At heart even to defend ourselves.
This fact alone should make you be more careful
And not strike blows so cruel and so bitter
With your own hand upon my naked breast.”

She then takes a sincere turn to discuss how his unprovoked words did hurt and shock her when she first read them, saying:

“I cannot even tell how this can happen,
But that I know that you withdrew your weapon,
Dripping red blood, from my afflicted side.”

However, she quickly moves on and takes a warrior stance, stating proudly that she has taught herself to fight just as a man would but with heart:

“Awakened then as from an idle slumber
I found new courage in averted peril,
Although a woman, born for woman’s work,
And taught my hands to wield an iron weapon –
For women are by nature just as agile
As men, and so I learned to arm myself.
I have put so much industry and labor
Into learning to fight – thank heaven for it! –
That I no longer fear to be attacked.
…
So now, having regained both power and courage,
I burn to challenge you to field of battle
With a full heart kindled for my revenge.
You think, perhaps, the risk is very little –
Entering in armed conflict with a woman –
But I, although betrayed, announce to you
That for a man to fight against a woman
Brings heavy shame to him, but for the other
Can be a case of great and high import.

She then, most beautifully, goes on to discuss the equality of women to men and encourage other women to take “arms” and answer for themselves as well as men do:

When we are armed and practiced well, we women
Can answer for ourselves as well as men can
…
But, for a fact, most women do not know this
…
And, to persuade you that I speak out truly,
I want to be the first of many women
To set a brave example for the rest.”
~All the above from Terze Rime 13, translated from original Italian by Laura Anna Stortini & Mary Prentice Lillie in Women Poets of the Italian Renaissance: Courtly Ladies & Courtesans

Veronica Franco used her poetic talent to break through the sexism and classism of Renaissance Italy and become an honored courtesan, but courtesan she was. Franco encouraged women’s equality to men, but did not encourage other women to join her profession. In fact much of her poetry and prose often addresses what she felt were the horrors of her work.

In response to a friend urging Veronica Franco to help her daughter become a courtesan, Franco warns her that the profession can be devastating:

“[E]ven if Fortune were only benign and favorable to you in this endeavor, this life is such that in any case it would always be wretched. It is such an unhappy thing, and so contrary to human nature, to subject one’s body and activity to such slavery that one is frightened just by the thought of it: to let oneself be prey to many, running the risk of being stripped, robbed, killed, so that one day can take away from you what you have earned with many men in a long time, with so many other dangers of injury and horrible contagious disease: to eat with someone else’s mouth, to sleep with someone else’s eyes, to move according to someone else’s whim, running always toward the inevitable shipwreck of one’s faculties and life. Can there be greater misery than this? … Believe me, among all the misfortunes that can befall a human being in the world, this life is the worst.”

NSFW Sunday Keeps Your Sex Toys a Secret

Once upon a time, I took a box of sex toys on a trip to Las Vegas. The trip there was fine, but when I got home, under my perfectly folded clothes, was this:

TSA had gone through my sex toy box, taped it up and left a nice little note explaining how my contents had been deemed harmless.

Ironically, most of the contents in that box were created to inflict harm. Or at least pain. I like to imagine some big dyke explaining to her colleagues how that pink thing with the beads and the clamps works, and all of them turning their heads sideways like lost, secretly aroused puppies. (I also like to imagine being pulled aside by that same dyke for a full body cavity search, but that’s a whole different post.)

About two weeks later, I took that same box, still wrapped by TSA, to Chicago where it, unfortunately, remained unopened. What happened on my way home? TSA opened my sex toy box again, re-taped over the old tape and left another nice little note explaining how my contents had again been deemed harmless.

It was as if TSA was taunting me for not getting laid in Chicago. Bastards.

Their taunting got me thinking, why should TSA get to put their dirty little hands all over my dirty little secrets? Maybe, I can trick them into thinking it’s not a sex toy and avoid this whole debacle.

Here are the solutions I devised, which can be used for any situation where the display of sex toys can be potentially embarrassing.

via killerkittens.tumblr.com

Remember those infomercials where you could hide your secret documents in what looked like a deodorant can? Well both Babeland and GoodVibrations offer whole lines of products based on this same concept.

necklace nipple clamps

My favorites are made by Incognito. I love the idea of someone complimenting me on my new necklace, oblivious to the fact that it’s a pair of nipple clamps or a sensation play blade.

Or praising my boi’s necktie, only to find out it’s a leash.

Why, yes, my new belt is fabulous! You should feel it whipping across your back.

Incognito isn’t the only company offering discreet selections. Even Sanrio has joined in, although, according to the rep at Babeland, they still swear this is just a massager.

But if you’re going to go the toy-looking sex toy route, pick this guy. He’s by far the coolest sex toy I’ve ever seen, even if it does seem to be geared more toward men. Can you imagine getting off with this?! Awesome.

For miniature adorableness, try one of these Bullet Buddies, available in bunny, dolphin, cat, caterpillar and monkey.

For discreet shower fun, there’s always the classic Rub My Duckie, available in junior or regular size, or a vibrating vegan sponge, which is the most discreet of the sex toys I’ve seen.

zomi

If you’ve already got your own trusty favorites, but need a place to hide them, try a Toibocks, which looks like your average fancy jewelry box and can sit beautifully, and discreetly, on your dresser.

If your dresser top is already full of framed images of your pet poodle, try a Stashe Pillow or the more exotic Zomi cases, which can hang out on your couch or bed, secretly holding your favorite toys inside, waiting for you to get the urge. Both pillow types hold a surprising amount of toys.

If you’re looking for something smaller and more secure, try the Treasure your Pleasure locking case, but be sure not to send it through TSA locked, or they’ll break it open, tape it back up and leave you a nice little note.

NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday and The Solar-Powered Vibrator

You are an ecologically-conscious human who also happens to enjoy orgasms via something other than your / your partner’s hand(s) alone. Would you like for these two worlds to collide in a really slippery sustainably recyclable way? Well here’s a quick list of toys I’ve actually ‘tested’ on myself, so this is very honest and servicey. You are quite welcome.

photo by sophia wallace

Phallic Phthalates

Did you know that a disgusting proportion of sex toys sold in the United States are “for novelty purposes only” and warn – in hard to read print – that they’re not supposed to go anywhere near your ladybits?

Often the same women who use recycled toilet paper, only eat organic unrefined foods and drive a Prius (you know who you are) don’t bother to look into the products they’re putting in their most private parts. Many sex toys are made from phthalates, a cheap and easy to manufacture plastic that is porous and therefore can break down and potentially poison your vadge.

How do you know if your toy has phthalates in it? Babeland says to smell it. Under the Eau de Femme fragrance covering your friend, you’ll too often find a distinct plastic smell, similar to the scent of a newly opened shower curtain.

And if you don’t want phthalates near your privates, you definitely don’t want them seeping into your local water supply. Be eco-conscious when you cleanse your closet of those nasty naughties and use a Sex Toy Recycling Program.

Make New Friends

Remember singing “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold” at Girl Scout camp? Well, I say, ditch the old gold and buy yourself some brand new silver.

I suggest the entire line of NJoy products.

Made from corrosion resistant stainless steel, these beauties are just as lovely on your shelf as they are in your partner. But be warned, they’re as heavy as they look and can be slippery when you have lube all over your hands. My cervix has never forgiven me for the first night I tried the Pure Wand.

More Metal

If you’re looking for something more colorful and less intimidating, try the Little Chroma vibrator. It’s very quiet and completely waterproof, perfect for when your roommate’s home.

I F*cking Love This Toy

No, really. We’re getting married in Canada soon. I hear it’s legal there.

This is what made me ejaculate for the first time. This is what makes single life not only bearable but wonderful.

Made of bamboo, which as a completely renewable resource, The Fling is labeled as a butt plug, but I’ve only used it in my vadge and can’t imagine putting something this big in my butt. But I commend you if you do.

Buy this. Now.

Crank it to Me

Don’t you hate it when you drive your Subaru all the way out to the woods, kick off your Birkenstocks, cuddle up in your Columbia sleeping bag and go to make sweet, sweet love to your mountain mamma just to realize your batteries are in the other Patagonia jacket?

Well fear not, the Earth Angel has you covered. Just crank this baby up and you’re good to go.

Sexier Than a Tan

When that zombie apocalypse the hipsters are always talking about finally comes, you’ll be prepared with this solar-powered vibrator, the Solar Bullet.

And it has a light on the end of it, in case you need help finding your way home.

Further Your Education

For more about pthalates, visit Babeland.com.

For more eco-friendly sex toys, see Good Vibrations’ whole Ecorotic© line.

For more information all around, check out Eco-Sex: Go Green Between the Sheets and Make Your Love Life Sustainable or ask the Sexperts over at Good Vibrations.

OTHER SEX STUFF

Tasmania will be opening an Adult Disneyland: Tasmania is looking to boost its immigrant population and is putting itself on the map for avant-garde art in its latest efforts to lure travelers and settlers alike. The Museum of Old and New Art (MONA) opens this week and aims to be Australia’s first “subversive adult Disneyland,” complete with erotic art installations, intersecting with themes of life and death.

Swan on Swan – Black Swan’s Sexy Tropes: Actually the use of sexuality in Black Swan was one of the reasons I loved it so much. The queer and sexual awakening tropes of sex, death, narcissism, and more had me nodding along to the narrative as a beautiful retelling of Swan Lake, complete with “Rothbart” as Nina’s mother/captor. “

True Stories: Girls Don’t Count “Several hours later, in the back of a yellow cab, Celeste pulled the hand-on-the-upper-thigh maneuver and we made out until we arrived to her apartment. I was back in the cab, on the way home, when I got a text from her: “Come back.” Heady from our make-out, I told the driver to turn around.”

by artuu

Tristan Taormino keynote speech at Oregon State University Modern Sex conference canceled because of “resume and website.” SEX EDUCATOR AND SPEAKER TRISTAN TAORMINO, SET TO GIVE CONFERENCE KEYNOTE, UNINVITED BY OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY BECAUSE OF HER ‘RESUME AND WEBSITE’

Against Sexual Scandal: “Instead, what stories like this really do is to damage the reputation of sex. Whenever there’s a sex scandal, I feel sorry for sex. I felt sorry for sex during the Larry Craig brouhaha last summer. What if he liked being married and procreating and giving anonymous head? What if that was his sexual preference? What if he really was not gay, as he claims, but had sexual desires that seemed incoherent? Some of the response to Craig was like the response to moralists like Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard and now Spitzer–moralists deserve to suffer the same force of negative judgment they wielded on others. Shame on us? Shame on you, ha ha! But lots of the response was sheer homophobia. And all of it was sheer erotophobia.”