Read a F*cking Book: “Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity”
Anyone at all familiar with lesbian culture is at least marginally aware of femme invisibility, and those who have been affected by it – typically those who identify as femme – have also felt ridiculously frustrated.
Enter Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity, an amazing anthology edited by writers Chloë Brushwood Rose and Anna Camilleri that features work centered around the experience of being femme by award-winning authors, poets, artists, and activists; filled with short stories, musings, analytical essays, photographs, comics, and poems, some of which will (probably) make you fucking cry.
Though much has been written on the subjects of sexual and gender identities, far fewer texts examine femme identity on its own terms; femme as an identity that stands alone. Traditionally, when the femme identity is examined at all, it is examined in direct contrast with butch. But while the butch-femme dynamic is indeed an integral part of lesbian culture and history (herstory?), that’s not what readers can expect to find here. Instead, the contributors of Brazen Femme show us identities that are self-containing and independent, identities that define themselves precisely by resisting definition.
One doesn’t have to be a lesbian to be femme. One doesn’t have to be a woman even. As the editors note, femme is not “in one place, in one time, or in one tidy package.” Femme is an attitude, a personality; a way of being that can be embodied by anyone from lesbian girly girls in stilettos to drag queens to straight men in fishnets, where the only constant is the flux.
As such, the collection seeks to “theorize femme identity through description, reflection, and interpretation” rather than provide a set definition.
One noteworthy aspect of this anthology is that it works to encompass as many viewpoints as possible, thus recognizing multiple forms of radical femininity – of “femininity gone wrong.” For those looking to find a how-to manual on the art of femme, you won’t find it here. Nor will you find racy butch-femme erotica or fluttery poetry describing the exquisite pain of corset-lacing and the subversive power of red lipstick. Femme is aggressive, its contents raw: it examines experiences of the femme identity complicated by the male gaze, by maleness in general, by racism, transsexuality, motherhood, fat and body politics, and institutionalization, just to name a few. However, the book is as artful and beautiful as it is unapologetic and fierce – much like its subject, the femme, it is a “layer of silk over steel skeleton.”
And it succeeds. The book is, for lack of a better word, intense, and unlike most anthologies, it never gets boring; as in, the contents never blend together and end up reading pretty much the same after awhile. Rather, the pieces here are so varied and dynamic, each one so different from the last, that even the most critical reader won’t lost interest.
Among my favorite pieces is “fading femme” by Debra Anderson, a poem that describes the institutionalized femme stripped of her trappings: “I’m losing my colors / cloaked in the faded blue / of hospital property pjs / almost forget the femme in me.” One aspect of the poem that stands out specifically is the interesting and important perspective Anderson offers on makeup: “this ritualized mask-making / not to hide behind / but to put forth;” that the aim of a femme’s makeup is not to cover up the face, but to create the face. It’s a form of performance art. Take that, One Direction.
Other particularly amazing pieces include “Two Poetic Incantations” by Karin Wolf, poems that will make your heart swell with blood, then break it, “Whores and Bitches Who Sleep With Women” by Kathryn Payne, an essay that will change your perspective on sex work, “Summer, or I Want the Rage of Poets to Bleed Guns Speechless with Words” by Anurima Bannerji, an incisive piece that does most of its work when absorbed rather than carefully read, and “Wheels Plus” by Michelle Tea, a short story that evokes the dreamlike ephemeral urgency of youth.
Queer Porn’s Nikki Hearts Is Living Her Dream: The Autostraddle Interview
It never really hit me that one of my closest friends (and former roommates, to be exact) was a real live porn star until I was browsing in Columbus’s local sex store and found her featured on the case of Hotel. Besides it being a “Whoa, where the hell have I been?” moment, I felt a genuine swell of pride – Juicy Pink Box, the studio that produced ‘Hotel,’ is responsible for the artistic, aesthetic, genuine brand of lesbian porn that doesn’t make you want to drown in a bathtub of shame after watching it. Not a bad place to start one’s porno career. I met up with Nikki right before she left for the 2012 Feminist Porn Awards to chat about life, sex, and where her brand-new career is taking her.
What gave you the initial push to go from watching porn to making it? How did this whole thing get started?
I started watching a lot of porn when I was 18 mostly because I wanted to find something that was real lesbian porn, or at least had real lesbians in it. It was surprisingly hard to find. Then I moved into this big feminist house where one of the roommates introduced me to queer porn. She showed me Crash Pad, No Fauxxx, stuff like that, and then I finally saw one called ‘Strap On Motel’ starring Dylan Ryan, and seeing that really inspired me – I wanted to make porn that looks like that. Eventually I met Jett Bleu, who I didn’t know was a porn star at first. She’s actually a pretty big name in the industry. Anyway, she said I was cute enough and that she would recommend me, so that’s how I started working with Juicy Pink Box.
But wait, didn’t you originally want to be a musician? How does one go from rock star to porn star?
Obviously as a kid I wasn’t an aspiring porn star, who does that?! But I knew who porn stars were because of the rock stars they associated with. Nikki Sixx [of Mötley Crüe] was a major influence, I started playing bass because of him and started playing in bands because of him. I’d like to pick that back up eventually, but as a porn star I’m still basically living out my dream – traveling, performing, meeting new people, and doing something artistic.
Who exactly is Nikki Hearts? How is your personality on film different from real life?
Nikki Hearts is pretty much completely me with all the daily boringness cut out! I mean sex and porn are a decent part of my daily life anyway [she also works as a romance consultant], but I feel like in order to be successful you have to let it fully become a part of your life. And I feel that the more that I do, the more this character becomes more of me. Nikki is just a different part of who I am and I’m getting to know her better.
‘Nikki’ is obviously from Nikki Sixx, but where did the ‘Hearts’ come from?
I went to the casting call for the first movie I did and first thing, they asked what my name was. I didn’t have a name picked out at all! So I panicked and said ‘Hearts’ because that’s my girlfriend’s last name.
Tell me more about her. A lot of women don’t let their girlfriends go to the bar alone, let alone have sex with other people on film. What’s the most important aspect of your relationship? How do you keep jealousy a non-issue?
We’ve both been cheated on, and we know how damaging that can be. And we know that neither of us would ever cheat on the other because we care about each other and we’re happy. She knows it’s different when I have sex with her versus when I’m performing. And she usually comes with me when I travel, which is a fun thing for us because otherwise we wouldn’t get the chance to travel so much together. But ultimately it’s a matter of having a fully trusting relationship. A lot of other stars do have jealousy issues with their partners, and the ones who do have supportive partners know it’s rare and they’re lucky to have that. So yeah, I consider myself lucky.
On a scale of one to breaking out in hives, how nervous were you before your first shoot?
Hives, basically. I had this moment of standing outside the building before the shoot and contemplating leaving. I knew I didn’t have to do it, but if I did it once it would be out there. And even once I got in there I wasn’t comfortable. I sat in hair and makeup for a really long time, and then we moved on to photo stills, which is the first time you’re naked and trying to look good. I was really nervous until we started filming, after which the initial fear went away and got replaced by “Do I look ok? Am I doing this right?” But I didn’t decide to do another scene until ‘Hotel’ came out.
Why?
Well, I heard I didn’t do my best job during the editing process. I wasn’t exactly getting positive reinforcement. But then the film came out and it was way better than I expected. Granted, it was a short scene – they had to edit out a lot of my nervousness – but it turned out good for what it was and made me realize that I’m not going to like everything I do, but I can control how I perform. It’s definitely a learning process.
Top three women on your to-do list?
Christ, I meant to think about this question. I’m in a monogamous relationship so this is purely hypothetical, but let’s put Emma Stone first. She’s a babe. My teenage crush was Brody Dalle from The Distillers – pre-baby, mind you. Oh, and Katy Perry. I want her to sit on my face.
Actually I meant what porn stars you would like to work with…
Oh! Well Dylan Ryan was my #1 since she inspired me to make porn, but I just shot my last scene with her so I can cross that off the bucket list. Besides her, I’d like to work with Kleio Valentien, or any of the Burning Angel girls, really. I’d really like to get involved with that company. I’d also love to work with some of the other queer porn greats like Jiz Lee, of course.
Any future plans? Projects?
I’m working on developing my own website that will focus on queer androgyny set in visually creative settings, so that’s taking a lot of my time. I haven’t really released any info on that yet, though! I’ve also been doing G Spot workshops, and I’d like to really get good at that; helping to educate people on sex. As far as future films go, I am traveling to San Francisco in September to shoot for QueerPorn.tv and some other trade work.
Can we get some tips for good sex from a porn star?
Don’t be afraid to experiment! Watch porn with your partner, maybe you’ll both learn something. I’ve certainly learned a lot from porn. Most importantly, communicate as much as possible and… use lots of lube!
You’ve mentioned before that if you weren’t doing porn, you’d be in culinary school. Favorite food?
I can’t go a day without eating Thai food! And tacos of course. I love a good taco truck.