By Any Other Name: The Power of Loaded Language in Christofascism
In May 2007, my mom had preeclampsia and was almost overdue on her 9th pregnancy. I was 16, had just had my graduation ceremony and my best friend came down from Maine to visit for a week before going to TeenPact National Convention with me.
On this particular day, I woke up, got the list of chores I needed to do for the day from mom, as usual, and proceeded to do them as I was able while taking care of my siblings. I needed to do the dishes, about 10 loads of laundry and shower in addition to feeding, bathing and teaching my siblings while having a friend over. After lunch my mom decided that my friend, my brother and I should go on the field trip with the youth group at our church. This was interesting because up until recently we weren’t allowed to go to youth group or interact much with our peers at church. So we went, confused, and I hadn’t finished all of my chores. I assumed since mom had gotten us out of the house that it was okay the laundry was still undone.
I was horribly wrong.
When I got home my parents got everyone to bed quickly and sat me down to “talk.”
What followed was several hours of me sitting on the couch curled up into a ball, while my parents sat on the other couch across from me, yelling about what a terrible person I was. Loud enough that all my siblings and my friend in the basement could hear.
“What do you think God thinks of your deliberate disobedience and rebellious attitude?” “If you continue down this path, young lady, that’s the path to hell.” “God is not pleased with your attitude and how you’ve been doing your job.” “You were better at being a sister and home keeper when you were eight.” “Your job as a daughter is to learn how to be a keeper at home, to take care of your family, immediate obedience with a cheerful heart. You have been sighing and having a bad attitude and not obeying immediately. This isn’t evident of Godly character.”
They yelled at me and assaulted my character until late, because I forgot and didn’t have time to do the laundry before we were sent on the field trip. My forgetfulness was not accepted as simple forgetting; it was evidence of rebellion and malice. It was evidence that I was straying from the path ordained for me by my parents and by calling out my egregious failings, I would step back in line and resume my servitude with a smile and instant obedience like a robot.
My parents used loaded language to make me feel ashamed, inadequate and guilty. Everyone uses loaded language without even thinking about it; every clique, every club, every group has their own set of phrases and words that can shut down conversations or mean something specific within a context that only the members are aware of. Some examples of loaded language in the mainstream are words and phrases like “gentrification,” “be excellent to each other,” or “fetch.”
The term Christofascist is a loaded word that I spent time making synonymous with extreme conservative evangelical Christianity in my first article.
Cults often use loaded language on their membership to isolate, indoctrinate and control the thoughts of their congregation. For example, when Christofascists talk about Godly Character, what most people hear is something that means please and thank you, do unto others, be nice, work hard, etc. When I hear Godly Character, I think of very specific gendered behaviors and how these words are used to keep people in line.
Godly Character for women includes: being a stay at home daughter or mother, never having a contradictory opinion, never challenging a man in public, always smiling, teaching other women to live the way you do, baking bread from scratch, being sexually available to your husband at all times and denying yourself autonomy.
Godly Character for men looks like: taking charge of things and telling people what to do, think, and how to act; being the breadwinner, proselytizing, making all decisions for your family as the interpreter of God’s will for them, starting or participating in conversations about your spirituality and denying others autonomy.
Godly Character gets complicated if you’re trans, nonbinary or gender nonconforming because our existence is either not recognized at all or labeled too evil to even talk about. Instead you are expected to play the part of the role assigned to you by your parents at birth and forced to repress any self-expression that doesn’t fit in the box they placed you in.
While my parents accepted some expressions of independence and masculinity from their daughters wholeheartedly, it was always with the understanding that it didn’t cross a line. It was alright to want to go shooting, have a strong opinion (if it was one that my parents agreed with) and collect bugs, but not okay to expect to be treated as an autonomous individual, have ultimate say over your own future, or learn higher math and sciences.
Other families are more strict in monitoring the social gender performance of their children which makes it harder for trans kids who are forced to repress themselves further.
by Kieryn Darkwater 2014
How is this relevant to the Christofascist movement? Using loaded language gives them the ability to appear benign to the mainstream world while their members know the weight behind the words they’re saying and all the implications those carry. TeenPact, Generation Joshua, NCFCA, etc, all use phrases like “defend the Christian faith,” “impact the nation for Christ,” “influence today’s culture” and “biblical worldview.” At face value, they seem innocuous enough and there’s no detail in the surrounding context about what that looks like, so you could easily assume it just means handing out tracts on a corner.
When these phrases are used within the evangelical Christian context, the definitions sound more like this:
Impact the nation for Christ: Men: Run for office, climb the ladders in your career, start businesses that have very conservative Christian values (i.e. no reproductive care covered in health insurance, discriminatory hiring and service, no work on Sundays), spread Christianity every opportunity you get but especially combined with political or economic power. Women: breed and support your husband doing those things.
Defend the Christian faith: Be able to persuasively respond to everyone who has questions about your beliefs, work against legislation that promotes equality for women, queers and people of color. Men become pastors, women become unpaid church laborers.
Influence today’s culture: Don’t shy away from the media, become involved in it, change it from the inside. Make content that is heavily Christian (see the Kendrick Brothers’ movies — Fireproof, War Room, Courageous) but mainstream enough to get into the general populace. It goes without saying that men have free rein here, while women can only make content dedicated to women admonishing them to stay at home and care for their families.
Biblical Worldview: This is used in almost every community and means slightly different things depending on the particular group, but it almost always has the same core planks. First, The Trinity must always be accepted, no questions asked. Second, man is fallible and sinful and deserves pain and suffering by default. Three, the consequences of sin is death, therefore, we need to brutally rehabilitate the gays, feminists and lazy, poor or homeless people into our perfect Christian society. A Biblical worldview is very black and white: Abortion is wrong, queerness is an abomination, hell is real.
Loaded language is used to keep women and children in line by combining it with social pressure. Those of us who grew up in these environments know what these phrases mean and that the consequences can ultimately result in ostracism. People will talk, you will become an example. You’ll hear things like we should pray for the Smiths to find God’s guidance on bringing their rebellious child back to the fold.
I remember kids I knew being discussed in hushed tones and prayers for their family. The sins of these kids? Being moody, wearing black, not obeying their parents instantly and without question. Other parents wouldn’t get involved with the family’s problem but would use the children of other families as examples to their own, with their own set of consequences should we make those mistakes.
The crime of expressing any form of individuality is often met first with rebuke from parents or pastors and can escalate from there. When your immediate community is your family and your church with little to no exposure to anything else, the ultimate punishment for being out of line can look like losing whatever little bit of freedom and community you had.
What Orwell called “newspeak” isn’t limited to keeping members in line, however. Words and phrases are often used to shut down conversation and thought. This occurs in textbooks and curricula as well as verbally. All of my science books by Alpha Omega were presented from an obviously Protestant Christian point of view and didn’t leave any room for questioning. All science was presented as God made it this way, so this is how it works. The Scientific Method was touched on but never practiced. Unanswered questions weren’t meant to be explored, because God knew. No further explanation required.
Every Christian organization has its own language, with its own rules and its own meanings. It would be impossible to find every instance to document and explain them. Instead, I’ve created an incomplete glossary of terms and phrases and what they mean in the context of my sub-sect of evangelical Christianity:
The World: Anyone who is not a Christian of the same variety, generally used as a caution, ex: “ Don’t follow the worldly ways of your peers,” “the world will try to tempt you into sin,” or “we must be in the world, but not of it.” meaning we are meant to be converting people, not joining them. This mentality often fuels a massive superiority complex by implying that by not being of the world (i.e. part of it) we are better and everyone should listen to us because we are enlightened and they are not.
Darkness/Light: Often used as a metaphor for good and evil and to further perpetuate an Us vs Them mentality. Ex: We are the light, meant to pierce the darkness. The darkness is anything contrary to what we believe.
Bitterness: Being rightfully angry about something that isn’t seen as wrong or abusive in the community. Ex: If someone is excommunicated and talks about it, they are written off as being bitter and told they need to repent of their bitterness .
(The) Word: The Word (of God) is the unquestionable, ultimate authority. The Word is used to describe something that God said either in the bible, or personally to an authority (or you, if you’re male). People in my churches often had Words From The Lord for other people that had to do with detailed personal situations. What was really just unsolicited advice is now The Holy Word Of God You Dare Not Cross. The Word is often invoked manipulatively, as it shuts down questioning and leaves little room for discussion when used in interpersonal contexts.
God’s Will/ “Not Our Ways”: When national disasters or unexpected deaths occur, this phrase is often used to give tragedy a reason. It’s not uncommon to be paired with condemning queerness and writing off natural disasters as punishment on us for allowing gay people to exist. When people die, the refrain is God’s ways are not our ways , or some slightly veiled way of explaining that they died for a reason, because God wanted them to. God’s Will is invoked in interpersonal relationships in ways that “convict” people to change their behavior, or to explain the unexplainable.
Convict/tion: God-ordained emotional/verbal abuse and guilt tripping. Conviction or feeling convicted is often what happens when an authority indirectly targets you in a sermon and proceeds to shame you. The desired end result is feeling uncomfortable or guilty enough to change your behavior to be more agreeable to the authority figure.
Rebellious: You are labeled rebellious if you exhibit any kind of autonomy that is not allowed by your family. Some families allow some limited forms of autonomous expression, but those expressions are almost always bound. There is often just enough room to let people think they have freedom but know the strict punishment for stepping outside the boundaries.
Obey/Obedience: Submit to any male authority (unless you’re a child, in which case you submit to all) instantly and without question. We are told we should be obedient, even unto death when it comes to things God (in the form of our parents, husband or pastor) tells us.
Keeper At Home/Homekeeper: A woman, if unmarried: rearing her siblings, teaching, cooking, cleaning, and learning how to run a household. If married: Having children, teaching children, teaching unmarried women about being a wife (i.e. sexually available at all times with no identity of your own), cooking, baking, cleaning. If you imagine a 50’s housewife, that’s a good gist.
This isn’t an exhaustive list and several other posts have been written that describe the phenomena that I’m talking about. Lewis Wells from Commandments of Men spent a few years documenting his experience with religious fundamentalism and the loaded language that was used to control people’s behavior.
In my own family, I was afforded just enough freedom to feel like I was making choices and thinking for myself. This is a tactic in cult-like environments to make it harder for people to leave, because they don’t see the coercion infused in the language of their tribe. Quivering Daughters introduced the concept of double-bind to me as bounded choice and explained how these are used within families to keep adult children tied to them.
The use of loaded language and double-binds in evangelical conservative families and their churches as a way to maintain control is not uncommon. Later, this same language can be used as a tool against survivors of abuse who have escaped these environments as a way of gaslighting.
When the only language you know is loaded, both internal and external gaslighting sound a lot like “who’s going to believe you? none of this means anything bad?” Because people inside the cult probably won’t believe you, and translating the language to people outside takes time, speaking up about the abuse in cult-like environments comes at a huge personal cost. Loss of community, trust and support happens simultaneously with trying to find your footing in a new (to you) world.
When my parents told me I was being rebellious, that my character was ungodly and that I was going down the path to hell for not doing the laundry that day or being a good caretaker in general, what they communicated to me was: I was not fulfilling my role properly, to continue to fail would mean more punishment, more isolation, unless I followed God’s will and conformed to what they wanted: a quiet, cheerful daughter, “happy” to be a surrogate mother and teacher until (my parents determined) it was God’s will for me to marry.
Even in writing this, I’ve been combating internal gaslighting over relaying this story and some of the phrases used in my childhood. Who would believe me when I say platitudes like God’s ways are not our ways are used to inflict pain, when they’re normally used to ease it? Why would anyone care?
Loaded language in Christofascist environments limits the options that we see as available to ourselves and our futures. In these communities our world is surrounded by walls constructed with words that weigh more than they should. Breaking free of that shatters our sense of reality but also enables us to shed light on an otherwise hidden subculture as we rebuild.
Here Are The Strategies That Actually Work Against Christofascism, From a Former Believer
feature image via shutterstock
Since the early 2000s my generation of evangelical homeschool students has been working to get Tea Party candidates elected. They were successful in 2006 and 2010, thanks to the grassroots efforts and groundwork our parents and grandparents started laying in the ’70s; they infiltrated politics and shifted every Overton window as far right as they could.
Now, the Christofascist millennials and GenX-ers are voting and running for office, the Tea Party has taken over, and the Christofascist agenda is rapidly advancing. With the injunction against trans and reproductive healthcare in the ACA, the attempted gutting of the ethics committee and the ban on Muslims, this is only the beginning and it’s only going to get worse.
In the time it’s taken me to write, much of this has already happened or is on the verge of happening. Over New Year’s, I watched my healthcare and access to abortion be stripped while vacationing out of the country. There is hope, however. We can use everything they taught us against them, but first we need to understand some things:
The Christofascist agenda calls for legalizing discrimination under the guise of freedom of speech and freedom of religion. The first amendment will not be extended to the marginalized or people of faiths that are not Christianity. They’ll come for the queers, people of color and anyone with a uterus who values autonomy — they already have. Finally, they’ll go after anyone who isn’t a straight white evangelical conservative man or his supportive wife.
Tim Echols said this in his 2007 keynote speech at Teenpact National Convention:
“I wish I could but I cannot tell you more details about the lifestyle and the people involved with it. Just cannot. The Bible tells us not even to talk about certain kinds of evil, let alone plan and joke about it. So I can’t talk about it, all I can say, men in this room, is God made you a man. He only made two kinds, male and female. He made you men. And you simply need to focus on developing your godly masculinity, your godly manhood.”
In this sentiment, he was specifically talking about queer and trans students he encountered at Teenpact and in rumors from other leaders. He later went on to say that there would be zero tolerance for any expression of queerness because it was too evil to even talk about.
When I say we can’t have discussions with people who believe these things, I say it for a reason. It is impossible to have a discussion when one of the parties participating refuses to see you as human and deserving of respect. This is one mild instance of things that I was told and that the leaders of many Christofascist organizations believe and spread.
One commenter on my first post demonstrated this perfectly by writing “You can’t even face your own self, you try to call yourself an “it” or something foolish , you’re still the same you no matter how hard you try to run from your conscience and even more so, from God … you have assimilated to the thoughts and actions of those you encircle yourself with so that you don’t have to hear or think about how wrong you are …” (emphasis mine)
source: AS comment email
Dehumanization is a tactic well practiced in these communities, and it makes it impossible to have a dialogue. You can’t converse fairly with someone who thinks you should be dead, tortured, or aren’t human. Some Christians believe that it’s a symbol of God’s love and mercy to strike unrepentant sinners dead. It was argued, by my parents, that in the story where God sent a bear to maul children, it was out of love so they wouldn’t finish growing up to sin more. Parents in this subculture have been known to tell their children (myself included) that they wouldn’t hesitate to kill them, like Abraham was about to kill Isaac, if they believed God told them to. They are more than willing to sacrifice their children on the altar — literally and figuratively; this can look like disownment, emotional, verbal, spiritual and physical abuse, or actual murder.
These are the types of mentalities that we’re dealing with and should keep in mind as we try to curb their political momentum. I understand the hesitancy when I say civil debates are a waste of time, which is why I want to reiterate that it is impossible to argue with people who don’t believe your life has value or is inherently wrong. It’s not because I harbor ill will, but rather their refusal to accept the existence of anyone different than them as valid.
You won’t convince these Christians by addressing their beliefs head on; they’ve been trained for that. If your heart is in reaching out, reach out to the children trapped here. The parents are likely too far gone to reach unless they come to an awakening of their own accord. I talked about this in my FAQ: it really doesn’t take logic or arguments, it takes kindness and sowing the seeds of doubt. We were taught to fear everyone who was different from us because they would try to sway us away from God. In this context, when you are met with kindness, that inspires doubt in what you were taught; and that doubt can eventually grow into something that looks like an escape. If you want to defeat Christofascism, your time is best spent being involved in your community and extending kindness when you see these families. A queer person merely existing in public and going about their day says more than any argument could.
In the future, I will talk about organizations like Teenpact, ATI, Alert, Vision Forum, and ParentalRights.org in greater detail, outlining what they believe and decrypting the loaded language that they use, so when you see words like “godly/sinful lifestyle” and “Godly masculinity” you’ll know exactly what they mean and how terrifying it is when people like the above commenter dish out abuse and say, “I wouldn’t do this if I/God didn’t love you.”
What worked for conservative evangelicals was infiltrating politics not debating liberals; we need to do grassroots organizing at every level, from city and state government to federal.
We need to start with protecting ourselves in our cities and states. We absolutely cannot sit by and wallow in sadness if we want to turn this around. This is not the time for inaction because of an insurmountable problem. I’m here to tell you this is an uphill battle but it can be won.
Fighting the Christofascist uprising on our doorstep will take getting out of our complacency and belief that people can’t possibly be as bad as they seem. It involves looking reality in the face and confronting it instead of hiding. It involves being each other’s allies.
We specifically need to advocate for health, housing, transit, education, anti-discrimination and accessibility. Our cities, states and country should be safe places for everyone, so we need to look out for and protect our marginalized communities. We all have some (even if it’s just a little) privilege somewhere, we need to use whatever we have to help each other and not throw anyone under the bus.
How to Fight Back
Think about where you will be the most effective and able to accomplish the most good using the privilege that you have and use that as a starting point.
In a way, activists can function like characters in a role playing game. Everyone has different abilities and roles and each of these are crucial when you’re in a dungeon during the Boss fight. We need an army of healers, tanks, and damage dealers. It’s important not to look down on friends who are activist-ing in a different way than we are; every role is vital. We may fill any combination of these roles over time or even simultaneously (I’m usually a healer/damage mix but lately I’ve been tanking). Switching back and forth for mental and physical health reasons (or just because you want to) is a valid way to fight back.
These are inconclusive lists; do whatever works for you!
By Kieryn Darkwater
Healer: The Moral Support
* Remind people to eat, sleep, shower, step away, and take care of themselves
* Make mini survival kits for protests and rallies — include water, snacks, sign making supplies, tear gas treatment and masks
* Remind people that they’re seen and doing good work when they are sad
* Stockpile a ton of fluffy animal gifs and disperse them liberally
Tank: The Barrier, Bait and Decoy
* Use your body or other resources as a shield and become the target for aggression, deflecting it away from others at a protest or online
* Jump in to protect and fight for others when they ask for help
* Use your privilege to elevate other’s voices by sharing whatever platform you have
* Call out fascism when you see it, loudly
Damage: Disrupt From Within
* Use the methods of those in power against them and organize, shift the Overton window of your local political machine by proposing radical change
* Rise & help others rise to power by running for office, or campaigning and centering other’s voices
* Form coalitions in your community
* Use your privilege to elevate others and bring change by sharing whatever platform you have to raise awareness and garner support
* Combat systemic racism and abuse as you encounter it by changing the language or rules to foster diversity instead of segregation (ex: fix zoning so the effects of redlining are diminished, or making sure there’s inclusive language and intent in your organization’s documents)
* Engage with your local political scene and move progress forward as much as you can
Once you’ve found your role(s), go to local political party meetings, city council meetings and town halls. Get to know your elected representatives and volunteer with organizations in your community. If there’s a need in your community that no one is meeting and you have an idea on how to solve it, organize.
* Advocate for a region-wide healthcare service that includes trans health, mental health, reproductive care and abortion access by writing, calling, or meeting with your elected officials
* Find your local YIMBY (yes in my backyard) cell, or start one and tell your city council to build more housing
* Support investments in public transit and infrastructure
* Volunteer with schools, get involved in your school board, advocate for more educational and community resources for students, make your schools a safe place for queer, trans, disabled and marginalized students
* Get involved in community initiatives to help house or provide resources for your homeless neighbors
* Urge your city and transit planners to include accessible infrastructure and make your own spaces accessible
* Run for office or volunteer on a campaign for someone committed to caring for the marginalized communities in your city
* Write to your state and local representatives when these issues are brought up. You can get alerts about what’s going on in your state by using OpenStates from the Sunlight Foundation
* Work to create a culture where bigotry isn’t tolerated, support anti-discrimination policies and be the change you wish to see in your life
If you’re burning out, low on energy or otherwise just don’t have the spoons but want to do something that’s really effective and better matched to your energy levels, here are a couple ideas:
* Write your elected officials
* If you can make phone calls, 5calls.org is a great tool
* Be moral support: comfort people who are hurting by reaching out and offering hugs or pictures of floofs
* Organize/participate in a book club and read about racism, queerphobia, activism, and the looming dystopian future
* If you learn something cool, share it with other people
* Make disruptive art that celebrates the incredibly rich diversity of humanity and share it widely
Art and self-care are important forms of resistance. These give us the strength and will to carry on. Remember you are allowed to take breaks; in fact, it is vital to do so. This is an ongoing struggle — it’s a marathon, not a sprint. The Christofascists want nothing more than to exhaust us into oblivion before they bring out the really bad shit. We have to be aware of our health and abilities, mental and physical. Self-care is a legitimate act of resistance, it’s important to remember we deserve good things, happiness and rest.
Finally, if you have the ability to give, find groups to support who are doing good work and set up a monthly donation if you can.
The ones I’m affiliated with are East Bay Forward and the Coalition for Responsible Home Education.
Some other great places to donate to are: Planned Parenthood, The ACLU, Southern Poverty Law Center, The Sunlight Foundation, The EFF, The Transgender Law Center, Lambda Legal, and United We Dream. Your community probably has other organizations doing great work in your town that you could find by googling, checking the library or asking for a list at city hall.
If you want to win over Christofascists, you don’t address them head on; you live your life and show them with actions that they’re wrong and the world isn’t as black and white as they want it to be. Existing really is resistance here. If you want to curb their assault on human rights, get involved in politics and block their momentum. For now, everything still comes down to votes, we all still have the power to change our government’s direction.
Everyone is intimidated at first, because politics is daunting and we’re all worried about making mistakes and unsure of where to start. My advice is just jump in, find what you care about and make your part of the world better. We can only make change if we are actively involved in doing so.
No one is going to write that letter, go to that march or make that sign for you; more importantly: no one can stop you.
How I Escaped Christofascism and Other FAQs From You, Answered
A lot of similar questions have come up over the last week since my first Autostraddle piece was published and addressing them all individually — as I have been — is quite a lot, as you can imagine. While I’m working on follow up pieces, I wanted to answer some of the most common questions and provide some explanation.
Why haven’t you written about this before?
Many other homeschool alumni and myself have been speaking out against these organizations and talking about their plans for years, it’s only now that people beyond our bubble have started paying attention (thank goodness). I would like to direct your attention to Homeschooler’s Anonymous, Love Joy Feminism and Kathryn Brightbill. From there you can jump down any number of rabbit holes and learn about any organization that I mentioned in my previous post and most likely ones that I’ll bring up in the future, in great detail.
How did you escape/Why not write about how you escaped?
I have about 8 years of archives just for you, depicting all of this in great detail as it happened. My blog is called Bridging the Gap. Specifically, I recommend My Elaborate Plan, about my literal escape, with links to a lot of backstory; and Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things, a synopsis of events and my background that I wrote when I was 19.
How do we fight back?
I am writing a follow up with recommendations on how to do exactly that. While I will never personally condemn the punching of Christofascist nazis; nazi punching should only be done when you are aware of your surroundings and can get away safely. My recommendations won’t include nazi punching as a strategy (there are better resources than myself for that aspect), but will be focused on things we can do today with the goal of solving problems long-term.
What do you mean, “they’re not worth arguing with”?
If a stranger – or someone who is pegged as an outsider – starts talking to you about something fundamental to your identity and how wrong it is, you are less likely to listen to them. Talking to conservative evangelicals about their ideas with the intent of convincing them they’re wrong isn’t going to work. When we leave, there is a high chance that we lose everything. Leaving the faith is like having the floor fall out from under you. This isn’t something that is likely to happen in one conversation because of how much is at stake. Going up to Christofascists and saying “hey, you’re wrong” isn’t effective and your energy is better spent working to counter their movement. However, if you are a trusted friend, then maybe they’ll be more likely to listen.
The straw the broke the camel’s back for me, was realizing my parents lied to me about the inevitability of the deaths of my stillborn siblings. That’s not really something that can be replicated from a conversation with an outsider. However, I want to emphasize the importance of doubt and kindness. Arguing is fruitless, but if you plant a seed of doubt, that is good; if you are kind when you encounter kids in these families, they’ll notice. You can do this without saying a word and just by existing. When I saw queer people just existing and being normal, that went so much further than anything else. I was taught that any queer person would try to convert me to queerness on the spot! As if that’s how it works.
In short, what I mean by “we can’t dialogue” is: they won’t listen if they’re confronted head on about their beliefs. If you just live your life, answer questions and are kind when you encounter these families as you go about your day-to-day, that will go much much further.
Gender/Pronouns?
This hasn’t been a question but there has been a lot of confusion about it. I am a nonbinary trans person which means I’m neither a man or a woman. My pronoun is the singular they, like from Shakespeare or when you don’t know who’s at the door. It involves adjusting the english language a bit, I know, I am also a grammar nerd. “They” is the most accurate way to describe me if you don’t feel like using my name. If you want a sentence example: This is Kieryn, they like blue and they taught themselves to hack.
Lastly, writing these pieces involves going back through memories and capital “T” Trauma that I am working through with my therapist. I am essentially going back through a minefield and trying to dig them up to explain how everything’s connected and how to fight by using their strategy against them. I deeply appreciate the outpouring of support and understanding from everyone as I continue to write while also taking care of myself.
I Was Trained for the Culture Wars in Home School, Awaiting Someone Like Mike Pence as a Messiah
I was working the polls on election day, handing people ballots and explaining how to fill them out properly. I made it my mission to come up with interesting uses for the removable tabs and entertain people for the 30 seconds that I had their captive attention. When 7 pm hit, people came in looking grim. “Did you hear about the polls?” they’d ask. “No,” I said, “but don’t tell me, I need to get through the next hour.” I guarded my polling location from news of what was happening because we still had to close – I still had to close – and needed to be able to focus without dealing with the sheer terror of reality.
I checked Twitter as I got in my Lyft back home. Shock bombarded and horror filled me as I scrolled through my timeline. I hoped the panic would vanish once the CA votes were counted. It didn’t. Slowly the new reality set in – the one where I wake up horrified and lose more of my basic human rights every day. The one where I wake up and am reminded that I was prepared for this, I saw this coming, I know what’s happening.
I grew up in the far-right evangelical conservative (Christofascist) movement; specifically, I was homeschooled and my parents were part of a subculture called Quiverfull, whose aim is to outbreed everyone for Jesus. I spent my teen years being a political activist. I was taught by every pastor I encountered that it was our job as Christians to outbreed the secularists (anyone not a far-right evangelical Protestant) and take over the government through sheer numbers. I was part of TeenPact, Generation Joshua and my local Teenage Republicans (TARS).
When the Tea Party rose in 2009, that was my culture. The Tea Party was step one. I was laying the groundwork for those elections in 2006. These people didn’t come out of the blue like it seemed. This plan, this Christofascist takeover of the US government, has been in the works for decades. When evangelical conservatism started becoming popular and more mainstream around the 1970s, the foundation was being laid for the tragedy playing out right now.
Evangelical conservatives started taking over their local republican parties and founding organizations like Operation Rescue, Homeschool Legal Defense Association, Family Research Council and Focus on the Family, just to name a few.
Via hslda.org
Michael Farris founded HSLDA in 1983 as a way to ensure that homeschooling was legal, but what he’s been striving for is the wild west. His organization is trying to keep homeschooling away from any interference so the children he trains through his sister organization, Generation Joshua, would be able to fly under the radar. Generation Joshua started in 2003, primarily catering to children homeschooled by extremely religious rightwing adults. Its purpose was to train us to fight in what the Christofascists have been calling the “Culture Wars.” It’s a loose and ambiguous term that basically means anything or anyone that doesn’t align with this very specific view of Christianity must not be allowed to continue.
Mission statements of GenJ, TeenPact, NCFCA, CFC
How do you do that? Well, you overturn Roe v. Wade, Griswold v. Connecticut, Brown v. Board of Education and Bob Jones v. The United States. Each of these decisions currently protects reproductive rights or non-discrimination based on race. As retribution, you amend the Constitution to discriminate against queers, trans people, women and people of color. Then, you make laws legislating morality. The only way to do this is to infiltrate the government; so Generation Joshua, TeenPact and other organizations exist to indoctrinate and recruit homeschooled youth who have ample free time to participate in politics. The biggest resources for teaching civil discourse are the National Christian Forensics and Communications Association and Communicators for Christ (since renamed Institute for Cultural Communicators). Through these programs we learned how to argue effectively. As students, we were taught critical thinking skills but given only a narrow view of what was acceptable to argue for. We were, after all, being trained to take over the country for Christ, literally. We knew how to perform logical gymnastics about abortion, Christianity and any evangelical talking point you could throw at us.
When we showed up to city council, local political party meetings and tours of the Capitol we asked intelligent questions, were respectful and had a vested interest in how our local political machine ran. We impressed every government official and staff member with our questions, earnesty and demeanor. In short, we were sneaky and polite Trojan horses; we had an agenda. Yes, even as 15-year-olds. It was forcefully handed to us by the adults in our lives who had been preparing for this since before we were born.
I watched the Tea Party takeover and was surprised no one saw it coming. After all, this was part of the plan. Trump being elected is also part of the plan, although not Trump specifically; the true goal is Pence.
Christofascists have been wanting someone like Pence in the White House and, until now, didn’t have a way to get one in. They know Trump is easily manipulated and will change his mind with the wind if it makes him feel more powerful and famous. Trump couldn’t care less about policy, a fact he’s made quite obvious. The Right has given a tyrant power and fame; he will do whatever they want him to do in order to keep it. This way they can sneak Pence in on a piggyback while filling Congress with even more evangelical conservative Republicans. Compared to Trump’s abrasive and terrifying behavior, Pence seems much less threatening. This is not the case. Pence has a proven track record of legalizing discrimination and acting against women and marginalized people. Those of us who didn’t leave the far Right are being elected to federal positions or are taking over states and cities. With Pence in office, even the reasonable-seeming incumbents – who have been and are still at the mercy of the Tea Party – are growing more bold in their attempts to further the Christofascist agenda: To Take Back The Country For Christ.
This was the mantra we heard. This was our mission. This is how we were to win: Outbreed, Outvote, Outactivate. Every class, every event, every pastor or guest speaker reiterated this, choosing to risk the 501c3 status of their church to push their agenda. To take back the country for Christ, we needed to outbreed, outvote and outactivate the other side, thus saith The Lord.
Meanwhile, mainstream Democrats shake their heads in confusion and fundamentally misunderstand the meaning of grassroots organizing, which is where all of this happens. Republicans have a vast network of homeschoolers that HSLDA and others have given them to tap into as a source of free labor. Republicans in state governments are lax on homeschooling oversight because their Get Out The Vote base is made of homeschoolers thanks to Generation Joshua and Teenpact.
Via Generation Joshua
Homeschoolers may make up a small portion of students as a whole, but they are loud, have time and can be activated with one email blast. When HR6 was brought to Congress in 1994, homeschool families realized their power. With an alert from HSLDA, homeschool families flooded the lines of Congress demanding that they exclude private, home and religious schools from the bill. They succeeded. The reach of HSLDA to activate the homeschool community has only grown since then. We are the secret no one knew about and it’s time to come to light. Homeschoolers are a huge reason for the evangelical conservative takeover we’ve seen over the last decade or so; it would be a mistake to write them off.
Self-proclaimed constitutional lawyer Michael Farris, the founder of HSLDA, and revisionist historian David Barton have spent years twisting their interpretation of the U.S. Constitution as some kind of God-breathed document into the minds of parents and their families who will just believe what they say because they’re “Good Christians.” They don’t necessarily practice critical thought, are dissuaded from looking at the Constitution themselves without a law degree and don’t bother to read history from all angles, relying only on the whitewashed Christian versions of the Constitution and our founding.
If you’re thinking that declaring the nation a Christian one and turning into a theocracy is a ludicrous idea that has no basis in our constitution, you’d be correct. However, Christofascists have imbibed this theory and now believe it is their Christian duty to save the country from its secular ways in the name of religious freedom. In this worldview, any non-Christian (including Catholics and Jews) is doomed to eternal torture if they don’t convert. Thus, we are all going to hell in a handbasket if “good Christians” don’t save the country from the liberals who think people should just “do what they want regardless of what God says.” Their religious extremism is worse than any group they fearmonger over, but the irony is lost on them.
Evangelical conservatives are convinced that their agenda will save the country from God-ordained death. Pat Robertson and many others believe that natural disasters are sent from God specifically to punish America for letting marginalized people have rights and be alive. This motivates them to do everything in their power to “save” the country from the ungodly – even, maybe especially – if it involves stripping others of the freedoms they deem to be against God’s wishes. They don’t care if their war for Christ hurts humans they see as living wrongfully, because they are capital “R” Right and that’s what matters. Their Rightness, they believe, comes from God Himself. Their beliefs are callous and without empathy, prioritizing dogma over people. These beliefs are dangerous. Many of us who have come out as queer, trans, or even merely gone to college, have lost family because of this worldview. A single powerful person who is convinced of their own Rightness with no thought of introspection is dangerous. We now have a government full of them.
It is important to understand that they are coming at this from a place of passion and dedication. They have a fire in their bellies. While it looks like a bunch of backwoods hillbillies playing with guns to anyone outside, they are resilient and in it for the long haul. They want America to succeed, but in their America there isn’t room for anyone unlike them. There’s a reason Trump’s mantra stuck despite his deplorable behaviour. They think America was founded on conservative Protestant ideals because that’s what they’ve been fed, because that’s what aligns with their interpretation of the Bible and they will not go down without a fight.
They are scared of anything newer than the 18th century; you can’t logic the fear of change away from people. If you do no research and are instead predisposed to the belief that older is better, it’s easy to think the Puritans were good and wholesome. People wore funny hats, were conservative and hated science. Church was basically mandatory and women weren’t allowed to speak or be autonomous people. These are all comforting things for people who feel as though the world is against them because of their religion, rather than the fact that their views and actions are bigoted, racist and actively harmful to millions of other humans. You cannot be this version of evangelical and not force your beliefs on others. Failing to convert is a failure on you and your dedication to your faith. This religion is based entirely on fear; you can’t argue away a fear so intense that it hardens you to anyone unlike you or your tribe.
They will not be won over with sit-downs and respectability politics. This kind of dogma cannot be reasoned with; it must be fought against. Trying to convince them to come to the other side is a waste of time unless they’ve already started on that journey themselves. The ones in power, actively harming our lives, are past this point. We can only fight back.
The revolution has come and we are the resistance.