Countdown to Pride: 100 Songs To Get You Ready for Running Into All Your Exes Next Month
As we countdown to Pride this year, there’s a lot to celebrate and a lot to rage about. There’s no one decided-upon way to feel about it, and there’s no one right way to celebrate June. Maybe you’re spending the month partying with friends, organizing a protest, taking a trip with your partner, hosting a community event, or staying home alone to reflect and take care of yourself. Pride celebrations can look like whatever feels honest and exciting to you.
For those looking to get out and celebrate with their communities or vacate your city’s local queer joints, you might find yourself running into exes, past lovers, future lovers, or estranged friends who did or do run in the same circles as you. And depending on who you’re bumping into, you may or may not need to give yourself a pep talk beforehand. Or maybe you like to embrace the chaos for all that it is and bask in it.
No matter where you are, who you’re planning on celebrating with, and what you’re planning to do this month, let’s get pumped up for Pride together and everything that could mean. Even if that implies sharing a space with someone from your past or reconnecting with an ex. Enjoy these 100 songs for your Pride month to prepare to run into all your exes or just to have fun with — the choice is yours! I’ve personally had a hell of year so far and we’re only halfway through it, so I’ll be using this playlist as a roadtrip soundtrack for my partner and I while we skip town and celebrate Pride somewhere different this year.
Get angry, get horny, get introspective! Metaphorically, I’m raising a glass to your and yours this Pride month. Here’s six full hours of sounds for setting the Pride mood this year.
Countdown to Pride is an Autostraddle miniseries leading up to Pride 2023. There are nine days until Pride month — are you ready?
Playlist: What I Think Each Yellowjacket Would Listen To
Warning: this contains some spoilers for the current season of Yellowjackets, including mentions of songs in episodes and scenes. If you want to catch up and if you haven’t been watching weekly and religiously following Kayla’s amazing episode recaps on here, you should definitely read those first.
So whoever is picking the music for Yellowjackets truly knows what the people need. When I watched the first season, I was floored by how many wonderful, meticulously chosen songs there were. Last season one of my favorite needle drops was Portishead’s “Glory Box,” and this season I got the chills when episode one opened up with Sharon Van Etten’s “Seventeen” and screamed when Radiohead’s “Climbing Up the Walls” marked the girls’ descent into cannibalism. My ear(s) could fall off — the music curation is just that good. Hell, they even got Alanis Morissette and Florence + The Machine to do covers for the show.
The music has been so consistently good that I was inspired to make individual playlists for our six main Yellowjackets — Shauna, Taissa, Misty, Van, Lottie, and Nat.
Listen to them all or just your favorite!
Shauna’s Playlist
Do you have a penchant for handling garden pests and serving them to your family? Perhaps in your darkest hours you turn to makeup artistry?
Taissa’s Playlist
We all need to make some sacrifices in life to make our dreams come true. Perhaps not in the crawl space under our home though? No? Okay just me then.
Misty’s Playlist
Good friends set up hidden cameras to monitor their friends and do coke for them so they don’t relapse! Good friends also help their friends take out the shit bucket and then bare their darkest secrets… right?
Van’s Playlist
Queers will literally tie themselves to their partners to make sure they don’t wander off a cliff and write “I love you” in blood on their partner’s arm before they say it out loud.
Lottie’s Playlist
Purple is soooo your color! Also, do these antlers make me look mysterious?
Nat’s Playlist
Purple isn’t really my color you know?
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
Thank You, Ex: For the Practice of Making Monthly Playlists
Thank You, Ex is a series of essays about the good things we were gifted by exes and kept.
I don’t know how to relate to someone without first asking, “Hey, what kind of music do you like to listen to?” It flows naturally in most courses of conversation — first dates, pillow talk, the text you send to keep the conversation going. Into your pillow, sighing the lyrics of a song that suddenly has new meaning. It matters significantly less now that I’m an adult, but as a teen, the music that my friends and girls I liked (not always mutually exclusive) listened to mattered a lot.
Just because you’re Julie.
Just because I finished my earth science homework early.
Just because I love you.
Just because these songs are life changing and you should hear them too.
Four of these CDs are from my ex. Three of them previously had their track listings yanked out and ripped up. The lone survivor with its paper still intact lists 15 tracks with a simple “juj (3)” as the title. I either got too tired and sad on my post-breakup rampage or it slipped to the bottom of the pile and I forgot about it. I think it’s okay that I left this one untouched. The CD is metallic purple and the date written is June 2015. My favorite song on the CD is Björk’s “Big Time Sensuality.” It’s part of a succession of CDs my ex burned for me in the early stages of our relationship. There are many missing from this collection, but I think that’s okay as well. It’s sweet that at one point, these songs reminded her of me.
The just because of these specific CDs is the fleeting nature of unconditional love.
P’s best friend was my ex. I’d always admired the love they had between them. There was a deep understanding. A love tender, even in the ebbs and flows of hormonal teenhood. Before I even knew anyone was queer at my school, I had seen the clever nicknames they had for one another and wanted that for myself. On Free Dress Fridays — this is a Catholic school thing apparently — the cool girls would wear sparkling jelly platform shoes and a mix of American Apparel and things they found at the thrift stores.
That year was the first I’d heard of Spotify, having spent my hours after school downloading songs from YouTube to mp3. It was the answer to my growing desire to relate to others via music. P and I would message each other songs on Spotify’s now nonexistent inbox feature, sharing playlists and new finds. My ex and I were just friends back then, but I distinctly remember her creating these monthly playlists of music she was listening to. It was a great way to share what had been found and memorialize it in time.
Step One: You must unfollow her on Spotify to ensure that you cannot see what she’s listening to anymore.
Step Two: Convince yourself you don’t need her monthly playlists to find new music, you did it by yourself before and you can certainly go it alone again.
Step Three: Sob relentlessly to any song that remotely reminds you of her.
Step Four: Take a year. Take a breath. You’ll be creating monthly playlists again in no time.
Step Five: Be bitter. Notice a nostalgic fondness and roll your eyes at your sentimentality. Date around and share songs with other people.
Step Six: Find stability and passion. She’s hot too.
Step Seven: Live through a global pandemic and start creating monthly playlists again for pleasure.
Step Eight: Write it down.
Playlist: Welcome to My Dyke SoulCycle Class
feature image by skynesher via Getty Images
I don’t know about you, but I cannot put my body through any exercise without a good collection of songs to motivate me to lift a heavy weight or sprint an extra few meters. To be real, I can’t even walk to my train stop without spending five minutes lingering next to my front door, picking out the perfect song.
Sure, sometimes I can get a good sweat on with a podcast or audiobook if the topic is something I’m researching or interested in — it’s a great way to maximize my time! But for the most part, I gravitate towards music that sounds good for the exact occasion in which I am participating.
Like lifting weights half-naked in my apartment? That calls for 190 to 200 BPM house and pop music only.
But going for a long stroll around my neighborhood? Oh, that’s for a super depressing OST from a video game I’ve been playing and then straight into “The Ketchup Song.” Duh!
Maybe you have a favorite song that you need on all playlists for your workouts. Maybe you’re stronger than the rest of us and can workout in total silence, with only the sounds of your hard work and determination. In any case, if we were all to get together for a big, gay Autostraddle workout class, led by me, these are the songs that I’d play for us.
Enjoy a cheeky mix of music for your next sweat sesh! And drop your most played songs for sweating below! I’m curious!
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
Grind Culture Made Fizzy Energy Drinks My Toxic Writing Partner
Bubble Trouble // Header by Viv Le
This is a fragmented memory of the year I drank sparkling caffeinated beverages and took a lot of stimulants in order to try and become a better worker. This is not a cautionary tale or a poignant anecdote about finding myself amid waves of imposter syndrome. And this is certainly not an advertisement for caffeinated sparkling drinky drinks, but I’m not gonna stop you from living your life.
I always get to the office too early because of my fear of being late and semi-irrational fear of having to say hello to each of my coworkers individually if I walk in when everyone’s already settled at their desks. I also know I can leave early if I get to the office first to get a jumpstart on work. This is my first “big girl” job and, like most necessary jobs, I’m giving it slightly more than the bare minimum.
This job is not the publishing house or the film archiving collective I applied to. This is the Financial District on a winter day, and I am a glorified intern shoving overpriced pineapple jerky and organic muesli into my tote bag for dinner.
I’m still in the phase of my life where intermittent fasting appeals to me for some reasons you might be able to assume, so when my stomach gives me away, I opt for a drink instead.
I mosey over to the fridge stocked with various beverages and skim past a handful of flavored still waters and a row of La Croix, picked over with only limoncello and coconut left. Chapstick flavors, yuck. Not a pamplemousse, tangerine, or lime in sight. If there’s one thing these people know how to do best, it’s take everything and enjoy it first.
What’s left at the bottom of the fridge is a small party of fizzy yerba mates. Ah, yes. What I’ve come to know as adderall in a can! My late night savior and early morning treat! I probably shouldn’t be doing this on an empty stomach but, bottoms up!
Despite what I wished, this sparkling can of caffeine did not make me better at my job or more confident that I knew what I was doing.
For me, writing is as much a practice as it is a pony show. I’ll write something that awes myself one day, and the next, I feel like I need someone or something to slap the nuances and sensitivities that should come so easily to a writer out of me. For the perfectionist I try to keep dormant in this vessel of mine, writing can feel like a chore. And at times, housing sentiments of that kind can mean “forgetting” to check your post’s comments — even if that means missing a gorgeous compliment or two advertising men’s leather shoes or online casinos. Or, stopping yourself from going too deep into what you want to say in favor of being aloof. Both stemming from the fear your work isn’t as good as you want it to be. And why not? Aren’t you supposed to be a writer?
And that’s where the mundane aspects of work feel so good to succeed in. Like, yes I did in fact finish a week’s worth of work in two days. All thanks to this little can of caffeine! And perhaps if I chug an entire can of yerba mate before I sit down and type for pleasure, my words will also be significantly more clear and enjoyable.
But the main character of that story was fated to end up as a horrible self-insert, and the love interest was just a figment of the girl I thought I loved for a few mere years of my adolescence. I didn’t write it. It was immature to believe I was a teen prodigy of Pulitzer Prize proportions. I fell in love with another girl, moved to a different city, and began my second year of college somewhere new. Always seeking another story I felt too afraid to put on the page.
At college, I learned about ways to pass classes you hated and how to participate enough to where it seemed like yes, you did the reading. I learned the best energy drinks for productivity and how long they would last. Celsius was good, but it was too much like pre-workout powder and gave me the sweats. Bang energy drinks worked, but only if you could stomach the taste of sugared food coloring. But Yerba Mates were solid. They came in a sleek little can and tasted like better versions of La Croixs. The classic flavor was reminiscent of Coke and the grapefruit one had those small bubbles I always liked in a Perrier. Plus, when I was on them, I typed more accurately and came to conclusions faster.
These little cans made me feel like I could write anything well. Like all this potential was building inside me over the past few years, and it was just the right time to let it out. And my worthy subject? Some six-page essay about a poem I can’t even remember the name of now. For the last years of college, I let this dependency hold me. It kept me up through finals season and late night shifts at my university part-time job. It gave me the confidence to power through even the most boring of subjects and carried me into my first job outside of college.
In these drinks was limitless potential and I was tipping the can to get every last drop.
The things I was writing became sloppy — at work and in my personal practice. I was more irritable and cried at every botched draft and lackluster poem. I’d just started dating someone new and felt less like myself when I was “working.”
My body meant too much to my mind. So, I stopped. Not cold turkey, but I spent less time searching out methods of curing my writer’s block and fear of mediocrity with consumables.
And the healing still goes on. It doesn’t end because she no longer lives inside of you.
Bubble Trouble is a series helmed by Autostraddle Managing Editor Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya about the nostalgia, effervescence, and never-ending appeal of carbonated beverages.
Playlist: Crying in a Caftan, Smoking a Virginia Slim
Feature image by suteishi via Getty Images
One night when I was indulging in the pleasures of being pleasantly crossfaded in my own home, I came across an extremely emotional edit of Céline Dion singing “My Heart Will Go On.” Now, I wouldn’t say that crying at TikTok is something that is so extremely rare for me, but something about the emotions and the level at which I was stoned really made the song strike me in my gut.
I was compelled so deeply by it that I had to listen to the song on repeat until I fell asleep to it like a late night CD compilation ad. I imagined myself like Rose, on the front of the Titanic. A strong dyke behind me, holding my waist as we sailed the seas together.
When my Titanic dream ended and I woke up with a huge dankover, I was compelled to create a playlist that captured the essence of longing and pure heartbreak.
Disclaimer, no, I don’t own a caftan. Yes, I wish I did. Maybe I’ll seek one out. But normally I do my brooding in Christmas pajama pants and little gay tank tops with a joint in my hand with headphones on full blast. It’s just the feeling that this type of playlist evokes in me. And yes, I do sometimes indulge in a Virginia Slim when I’m overwhelmed. The drama of it all calms me down.
Now, tune into the smooth heartbreak that is this playlist.
- Un-Break My Heart – Toni Braxton
- You’re Still The One – Shania Twain
- By Your Side – Sade
- I Have Nothing – Whitney Houston
- Left Outside Alone – Anastacia
- On The Radio – Donna Summer
- Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper
- Without You – Mariah Carey
- Linger – The Cranberries
- Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinéad O’Connor
- Torn – Natalie Imbruglia
- 2 Become 1 – Spice Girls
- White Flag – Dido
- In Another Time – Sade
- Butterfly – Mariah Carey
- Baby Can I Hold You – Tracy Chapman
- Take My Breath Away – Berlin
- Listen To Your Heart – Roxette
- My Heart Will Go On – Céline Dion
- Shadowboxer – Fiona Apple
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
Playlist: Queer as in F*CK YOU
In the past, I’ve published a few playlists on here that relate to themes like the best playlists for a sexy Halloween party or tunes for a found family Thanksgiving. I’ve even shared some softer things like the best playlist for your cuffing season and a general love song playlist featuring tracks that remind me of my own queer love and relationships. But on off days, or days when none of that stuff sounds good in my ears, I long for something harder — maybe something rougher around the edges. Something that feels queer in a fuck you kind of way. Sometimes I just wanna listen for the sake of feeling amped up. For the sake of channeling an emotional that feels a little closer to unadulterated rage.
So, here are a few songs that I think encompass that feeling of wanting to book a rage room and smash a lot of shit, or journal so hard you conquer weeks of pent up emotions in one go — all in the name of a nice, genuine fuck you to people or things in your life that truly aren’t worth your time.
Some of these songs are explicitly queer, curated for your listening pleasure — like the namesake of this entire playlist, “Queer as in Fuck You” by the Dog Park Dissidents or cheekily named “Running into Your Mom at an Aa Meeting” by Butch Baby. I’ve also added a few songs that I think fit the general mood — tracks from Lil Texas, Arca, LSDXOXO, and more. There’s a good mix of punk, rock, indie, and electronic to keep you going.
Get in here! Let’s fuck off together!
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
Looking Back at the Queerness of “The Last of Us” Video Games
Author’s Note: Spoilers ahead.
Ten years and two generations of Playstation consoles ago, The Last of Us was released for the Playstation 3. It boasted an incredible narrative, introduced complex and morally gray characters, cast incredible voice actors, and touched the hearts of the many players who came to know the story of Joel and Ellie. The game’s release was more than just another post-apocalyptic zombie horror to fight your way through. It was a memorable tale of two initially vastly different people trying to hold onto things that were rapidly slipping away from them — humanity and innocence. And after all these years, the franchise has remained so successful that HBO has deemed it worthy of a high-budget TV adaptation.
Back when the game first came out, I’d heard a lot of hype surrounding the release. I was too scared of horror games and jumpscares back then. I also didn’t have the right console to play it on, so it slipped into the back of my mind until more recently. The story really hooked me about a year and a half ago. One overcast night while my partner was away on a trip, I loaded up The Last of Us for the first time. I’d just gotten my hands on a Playstation 5 and was eager to explore titles I’d missed out on. Plus, with the pandemic raging, I found comfort engrossing myself in other peoples’ stories.
I was also driven to play The Last of Us because I’d heard whisperings on the internet about one of the main characters, Ellie, being queer. I suddenly had the undeniable urge to play it. Maybe some of you feel similarly. Was it the courage I was working up to finally play a long narrative horror release — or was I just reaching for some representation in the games I was playing? Either way, I wanted to play The Last of Us II first because of the queer romance, but I felt I wouldn’t be able to understand where the story was picking up in the second installment without playing the first. So, I booted up The Last of Us, opened a walkthrough article to ensure I could gather all the game’s collectables, and strapped in for a ride that was thoughtful, disappointing, and hopeful all the same.
As the game opens, you’re introduced to the state of the world in The Last of Us universe. A cordyceps mutation has caused widespread infection across the world, only leaving those without exposure to retain their physical humanity. Our two main characters are Joel and Ellie. Joel is a hardened smuggler living in a Boston quarantine zone, making a living by moving weapons and merchandise. He’s lost all his family, besides his brother Tommy, to the chaos of the apocalypse. On the other hand, Ellie is a young teenager, made an orphan at birth and born into a life of infection and hardship.
Sometime in the early stages of the game, Joel is tasked by the leader of an infamous rebel militia group to smuggle Ellie to a checkpoint and provide protection along the way. Joel is cautious and skeptical at first as to why he’s smuggling a teenager, only to realize that Ellie has been bitten by the infected, weeks ago at that point — and has shockingly not contracted any symptoms of the virus.
This sets off the pair’s journey across the country, searching for a group called the Fireflies who might be able use Ellie’s immunity to the virus to create a cure. What ensues during their trip feels like a long epic and contains memorable characters and tense sections that made me pause my game more than a few times. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to play the easiest or normal difficulty on this game. I felt tense enough during some sections without the added stress of more complex combat and fewer resources. Shooting, crafting, and sneaking are at the heart of this one’s gameplay.
Looking back on the game now, I can name a few memorable characters I wish had more screen time. Depending on if you’ve played the game before or how much you’ve read about the characters that will star in The Last of Us TV adaptation, you may have heard about characters Bill and Frank — played by Nick Offerman and Murray Bartlett respectively in the adaptation. In this first game, they’re the only explicitly gay characters we get to meet.
Even though it doesn’t come up in the first game, we know that Ellie is queer and she is explicitly so in The Last of Us II. And from what I gathered from the show’s trailer, the series will explore a bit of Ellie’s sexuality — using material found in prequel game Left Behind, with Storm Reid playing Ellie’s friend and love interest Riley.
But without any knowledge of Ellie’s queerness in this first game, I took interest in the story of Bill and his lover Frank in The Last of Us. Despite the exciting casting for the TV adaptation of the game, we never really get to know the character of Frank beyond notes and dialogue that can be experienced in game. To say the least, he’s not really around in the game to interact with. And that leaves a heaviness in the air when it comes to getting to know Bill and his life of isolation.
Yes, the off-screen death of Frank in the game gave Bill, the character you get to interact with, more depth. Bill is objectively an interesting character to me and the little details they put in the game — from raunchy magazines you can pick up to elaborate booby traps you must diffuse — to show you his personality shines through. However, to me, the character of Frank in relation to Bill seemed like a lazy trope when I played the game. Burying your gays isn’t profound to me anymore. I’m not sure how people felt about that when the game first came out in 2013. I’m not sure how it was received, but through a present-day lens and given all the other things that could have happened to enrich queer stories, I don’t think it’s the groundbreaking material that some writers think it is. In the world of The Last of Us, everyone has lost something; for Bill, I don’t think it had to be a loved one to show why he is the way he is.
I’m hoping that the series does something different with Bill and Frank’s storyline. In fact, I’m glad that they’re putting a face to Frank and expanding his character more. I’m also hoping for a happier ending for Ellie’s first relationship, though, given the nature of the series and after having played through The Last of Us II, I don’t really know what to expect plot-wise.
In general, my hopes for the series are high. I’m excited for the characters I’ve sat with for hours on end to come to life on my TV without me having to control them. Apparently, there are only nine episodes, which seems like a condensed amount of time for the series to give us the entire exposition of the first game. But I’m hopeful. With HBO’s budget and a star-studded cast of new characters made just for the TV series — including my Yellowjackets crush Melanie Lynskey — I’m sure there will be moments of both nostalgic familiarity and exciting new revelations.
At the heart of The Last of Us is a story about humanity — the things you’ll do to protect it, lack thereof, and sometimes the inevitable loss of it. Perhaps the scariest things lurking in the shadows of The Last of Us aren’t actually the infected.
The Last of Us series debuts tomorrow, January 15, on HBO Max.
Eight of the Best Queer Albums of 2022
I’ve always used music as a way to relate to others. Say we just met and I have a favorite album that is coincidentally also one of your favorite albums, there’s a spark of connection and conversations to be had. On the flip side, if you hate the album I love, we still have something to talk about! And if neither of us has heard about what the other is talking about, there’s room for sharing and discovery. In the past where conversations found their lulls, music has always filled the silence with connection.
I could go on about how music let me process childhood emotions and allowed me to build friendships constantly through my life, but you’re here to discover new music and share your hot takes. So let’s get into it!
Here are my top eight queer albums of 2022.
A few honorable mentions:
Hold The Girl by Rina Sawayama
blue water road by Kehlani
Bronco by Orville Peck
Ivory by Omar Apollo
8. MUNA by Muna
MUNA queers, I see you. This self-titled album is fun fun fun. I’m sure many of you remember “Silk Chiffon” featuring Phoebe Bridgers blowing up as a TikTok audio, but MUNA offers more than just that hot single. Lead vocalist Katie Gavin’s voice has range — going from deep and sultry to bright depending on the track. I’m a big fan of “No Idea,” pop banger “What I Want,” and more experimental “Runner’s High.” If you like pop bangers and perfect hooks, MUNA is for you.
7. CLEARING by Hyd
Ethereal hyperpop is the first thing that comes to mind when listening to Hyd’s CLEARING. Their impressive vocals and textured production — including, A.G. Cook, Easyfun, and late hyperpop pioneer SOPHIE — create an album I want fizzing in my brain at all times. The album feels sensory, visceral — almost as if they’re right in my ear, calling to me like a siren. Tracks like “Afar,” “Trust,” “Oil + Honey,” and “Fallen Angel” speak to me deeply and are my favorite on the album right now.
6. Big Time by Angel Olsen
Angel Olsen gets it. Big Time is an emotional, grief-ridden symphony of contemplative long drives and inevitable life changes. To me, it envelopes like a goodbye hug and stings like the airing out of an open wound. Stripped back from her popular All Mirrors, Olsen puts her heart on open display, waiting for us to also find meaning within her songs. Besides the popular tracks “All The Good Times” and “Big Time,” standout tracks for me were “Right Now,” “Go Home,” and the bittersweet heartbreak of “Chasing The Sun” that closes out the alternative queer country album of my 2022.
5. Black Girl Magic by Honey Dijon
Come together and dance to one of my favorite house albums of this year. Legendary producer and DJ Honey Dijon goes hard — in terms of talent and true expertise of electronic/techno music production and craft. You may know Honey Dijon from “COZY” and “ALIEN SUPERSTAR,” tracks she co-produced for Beyoncé, and Black Girl Magic feels just as good. “It’s Quiet Now,” “Drama,” and “La Femme Fantastique” were by far my favorite tracks. You could listen to this album front to back and have a different experience every time. Black Girl Magic is hypnotizing, celebratory, and should be played in every club near you.
4. Preacher’s Daughter by Ethel Cain
Organized religion, cannibalism, and the American Dream — that’s Preacher’s Daughter for you. Ethel Cain is one of the best new artists I started listening to this year. If Preacher’s Daughter had come out while I was a teenager in Catholic school, I would have been the most annoying lesbian on the internet. Cain weaves a narrative so vividly in her album, I’d go to church if this is what the youth group was signing. “American Teenager,” “Ptolemaea,” and “Sun Bleached Flies” are my standout tracks on Preacher’s Daughter.
3. Dragon New Warm I Believe In You by Big Thief
Dragon New Warm I Believe In You has frequently come up in conversations with friends about beloved albums of this year. And it’s deserved. It took me a few songs to warm up to it, but when it got me, it really got me. It felt like coming home — like returning to what I really love about music. Adrienne Lenker, the lead vocalist and guitarist, is a lyrical genius. I’d urge you to just listen to the album and see what songs resonate with you. You really don’t know what you’re getting beforehand and every track is its own pocket of genius songwriting and narrative comfort. I especially love the segue from “Flower of Blood” to “Blurred View,” with the latter being one of my favorite tracks on the entire album.
2. Nymph by Shygirl
Nymph is hot and intimate, and Shygirl’s music makes my knees weak. As Shygirl’s debut album — though her EP ALIAS felt like an album to me — Nymph feels like awakening and release. The production is delicious and the lyrics capture the desire to fulfill and satisfy one’s own needs. “Woe” sets the tone for the entire album, “Shlut” does make me wake up feeling like a slut, and “Wildfire” closes us out beautifully. Nymph is the hookup I’d let stay the night.
1. Ugly Season by Perfume Genius
I love everything that Perfume Genius is letting us have in Ugly Season. It feels haunting, deeply emotional, both a deeply physically grounding record and an out of body experience. Originally, Ugly Season was composed to accompany a contemporary dance piece — now we have it seeping into our ears and grating on our skin so seductively. Seven minute long “Herem,” aptly named “Pop Song,” frenetic “Eye in the Wall,” and eponymous “Ugly Season” are standout tracks for me. Each song feels cinematic and significant. Mike Hadreas knows the inner workings of my quiet desires for music and it scares me. Ugly Season took me to so many different places emotionally. No skips. One of my favorite releases of 2022.
The Best Queer Video Games of 2022 That You Might Have Missed
With the end of 2022 approaching, I wanted to look back at some queer video games that were released this year to share with you all. However, in the process of putting together some semblance of a list, I really had to wrack my brain to recall more than a handful. It then occurred to me that this year I didn’t come across a lot of trending gaming news that talked about queer video games and queer video game characters. I wonder if you all feel the same?
I could recall that The Last of Us I got a remaster and technically that was released this year, and that there was an optional queer storyline in The Quarry — but besides those two games and a few others, I wasn’t able to name many queer game narratives or characters I had formed a dependency on. I won’t lie, I was a bit disheartened to realize that, but then it became less of a pity party of one, and more of an opportunity to learn about and play some new, exciting games before the year ends.
So, without further ado, let’s dive into it. I’m honored to present to you the best queer video games of 2022 that you may have missed out on! And I promise there’s something here for everyone.
Signalis
For horror fans and nostalgia seekers, Signalis from rose-engine is a must play. Best described as a survival horror game with nostalgia for older horror games like Silent Hill and Resident Evil, Signalis follows Elster as she journeys to find her missing crew member. Solve puzzles, use your ammo wisely, and delve deeper into the mystery that is Signalis. Also lesbian androids. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
Signalis is available to play on PC, Xbox, Playstation, and Nintendo Switch.
Cat Cafe Manager
Cat Cafe Manager is a wholesome business running simulator where you take over and run your grandmother’s old cat cafe and breathe new life into it. Take care of and adopt new cats to feature in your shop, hire your own staff, learn more about Caterwaul Way and its residents, and more! Expand your business and learn more about the mysterious cat shrine in Roost Games’ Cat Cafe Manager.
Cat Cafe Manager is available to play on PC and Nintendo Switch.
We Are OFK
We Are OFK is part visual novel, part episodic musical origin story, and part interactive E.P. from Team OFK. You’ll follow four different band members from OFK and their journeys of dating, making music, and living their dreams. Choose what your characters talk about, how they text, and more in this gorgeous and episodic five part episode game.
We Are OFK is available to play on PC, Mac, Xbox, Playstation, and Nintendo Switch.
Monster Prom 3: Monster Roadtrip
Following the popular releases of Beautiful Glitch’s Monster Prom and Monster Prom 2, inevitably comes its road narrative, Monster Prom 3: Monster Roadtrip. Enjoy visiting new locations, meeting new monster characters, and dating your dream monster? Then this one is definitely for you.
We Are OFK is available to play on PC, Mac, and Linux.
Wylde Flowers
Are you a fan of farming/dating sims and fully voiced video games? If so, Wylde Flowers might be right up your alley. Play as Tara, a witch coming into her powers, as she helps out on the family farm, learns how to cast spells, and flirts with local townspeople. If you liked Stardew Valley, you’ll feel right at home in the world of Wylde Flowers.
Wylde Flowers is available to play on PC, Mac, and Linux.
The Archipelago
The Archipelago is an indie slice of life game all about brewing tea from narrative designer Kaelan. With each tea you make, you’ll learn more about a different person’s story. If you’re into cozy, narrative games all about conversations, I’d recommend downloading The Archipelago as soon as you can.
The Archipelago is available to play on PC, itch.io, and Google Play.
My Hot Girlfriend
My Hot Girlfriend is a charming puzzle game in which you must, quite literally, cool down your hot girlfriend. With aspects of point and click and some visual novel elements, My Hot Girlfriend makes for an accessible and enjoyable gaming experience. Created by Danielleri, My Hot Girlfriend is wonderful for casual, wholesome time.
Swaddle Yourself in This Queer Playlist for Cuffing Season
Feature image by Jecapix via Getty Images
With the close of the year already in motion, inevitably comes cuffing season. Cuffing season refers to the period of time, usually close to the winter months, when individuals look for partners to shack up with in order to make those chilly weeks as warm as possible. For some, it’s the perfect time to find a gorgeous, sexy fling that’ll fade away before Valentine’s Day. And for others, it’s a perfect time to date around and find something more lasting to take into the new year.
Like dating at any time of the year, cuffing season can be a mixed bag in terms of results. Yeah, maybe your dating app pool might feel a little more open to getting together at capitalism’s second most romantic holiday. Or perhaps you’re looking to reconnect with that hometown hottie that’s suddenly posting about Fletcher on their story. All great, fruitful opportunities to find what you’re searching for. But December holidays are hectic and someone may only have enough time for casual fun.
For those dating around what the internet has deemed “cuffing season,” allow me to offer a playlist to soundtrack your highs and lows. This playlist walks the line between the fun, playful crush energy that comes with any new relationship, and the contemplative mood that comes when conversations stop being about how cute you are and instead revolve around if you’ve also decided to take it more seriously.
In this playlist, you can enjoy a few songs from my personal life that I’d listen to over and over when I was crushing on someone during the winter months like Men I Trust’s “All Night” and Caroline Polachek’s “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings.” You’ll also find one of the best covers Glee ever did, some Charli XCX, a song that blew up on TikTok, and more.
Listen and contemplate your feelings. Who knows, it could turn out in your favor!
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
6 Albums to Help You Get Through the Work Day
We’re in the home stretch to the holidays now. As Halloween and Thanksgiving are ushered out the door, the popular December holidays feel closer and more palpable. This year I’m looking forward to my most coveted holiday of all — paid time off. Which was initially a joke, but the more I think about it, the more it feels like a chilling reality of working life.
But before I can indulge in all of life’s greatest holiday pleasures — sleeping in and boozed-up eggnog with a hefty side of Lactaid — I’ll have to dredge through the last obligations of work. Mentally and emotionally, the coming weeks will consist of getting through the work day and preparing myself for family time and the frenetic nostalgia that always appears when I visit my hometown.
Things at work normally wind down during the holidays as everyone’s either out of town visiting family or already on PTO relaxing. I find that it’s easy to let my mind roam and getting work done is harder than normal. When this happens, I find it helpful to put on an album and zone in for the duration — usually a good 45 to 60 minutes of focus. And then go back to daydreaming about what I’m making for Christmas dinner and who I forgot to buy presents for.
For those of you who are in the same workday slump in anticipation for the holidays, allow me to recommend a few great music albums to help you focus at work.
Fields by Devonté Hynes and Third Coast Percussion
As soon as I began to think about albums I consistently work to, Fields was the first one to come to mind. You may know Devonté Hynes more popularly as indie artist Blood Orange, but his work on Fields takes a classical turn. It’s an ambient, percussive album that I frequently use to focus. Plus, it hits that sweet spot of one hour if you’re trying to keep your work sessions even.
Going Under OST by feasley
Would it be a recommendation if I didn’t try and also sell you on a video game to play as well? Going Under OST is what it sounds like — an original soundtrack. What charms me about this album is that the video game that the soundtrack comes from is about working as an intern for a corrupt tech company. It’s goofy, fun, and there’s no lyrics to distract you!
Only Diamonds Cut Diamonds by Vegyn
Only Diamonds Cut Diamonds is the album you send your Gen Z coworker as a recommendation for working music. If you’re into electronic glitch-pop sounding tracks without vocals, Vegyn’s got you covered. It’s a solid choice for a good 40 minutes of work and something I enjoy listening to outside of work, too.
Mother Earth’s Plantasia by Mort Garson
I just recently started working to this album. The entire reason why Mother Earth’s Plantasia was produced, was for it to be played directly to plants. I like to think this early electronic album is healing my many questionable looking houseplants, but at the same time it’s the perfect album for getting through the work day.
Lester Young With The Oscar Peterson Trio by Lester Young and Oscar Peterson Trio
For those who can only work while listening to jazz and classical music, this one’s for you! This album instantly transports me to college when I’d work in little bookstore cafes and work on my little poetry assignments. Lester Young With The Oscar Peterson Trio is comforting and warm. There’s a great mix of slower and higher pace songs and Lester Young is a vision on the saxophone.
Con Todo El Mundo by Khruangbin
Maybe you want something a little more lowkey. Khruangbin’s Con Todo El Mundo is for you. Besides the fact that I have a huge crush on their bass player Laura Lee, Khruangbin makes music that’s perfect for working, studying, or swaying around your room with a glass of wine. I could describe this album best as taking a walk when it’s hot enough to see the heat rise over the pavement, but I’d rather you listen for yourself and gather your own opinions.
Why I’m Craving a Thanksgiving Sandwich 364 Days a Year
Feature image photo by DebbiSmirnoff via Getty Images
Holigays 2022 // Header by Viv Le
It’s November 2016, and I’m lonely and missing my family a lot more than I expected. I say I can’t come home for Thanksgiving for a mix of reasons. I’m just starting to make friends at college, and the plane ticket home is a little bit too much for the part-time student job that I have. My mom says she misses me a lot and it doesn’t feel as warm as Thanksgiving at home. I feel guilty spending it with people I’ve only known since August of that year, but the dorms feel like someone else’s house all the time, so anything’s better than that. The air in the Bay is cold and crisp. It smells good and new. Like an invitation to become someone different.
It’s lonely at the same time. I drink shitty tequila and get a little too stoned on Thanksgiving and eat the food my friends like to have. We cram into a kitchen belonging to my only friend that lives off-campus, and I try my hardest to emulate the care my mother puts into her food for that special day, but I burn the sweet potatoes and don’t even attempt to make my favorite dish, the stuffing. My friend, the host, shares a beautiful dish that reminds her of home, and I’m thankful for her hospitality. I text my parents that I miss them, separately of course, and wish for my mom’s couch to nap on.
There are no leftovers, but then again I don’t really have enough room in my mini-fridge to care. Soon enough, it’s Christmas break and time to go home, so I don’t linger on the feeling of missing that sandwich too much. It’s just a sandwich after all.
But then again Julie, it’s not just a sandwich. It’s your once-a-year Thanksgiving sandwich.
The one my mom would pack for me to take to school when I was little. The one I’d sneak downstairs to make after everyone had gone to bed. It was the best little thing I’d enjoy alone, after all the predictable conversation and cleanup. A little private sermon I’d hold. A party of one. God’s light shining through the refrigerator door’s glow. A secret for only me to know when anyone asked why there weren’t as many leftovers as the previous day.
I consider myself an introvert, even when it comes to family and intimate dinner conversations. Julie’s just so mature. Julie’s so reserved and grown up for her age. You’re so lucky to have such a responsible daughter.
In actuality, it was a mix of repressed anger and wanting to damage-control the things that were happening around that made me so quiet during occasions with big groups of people. I was also fighting the urge to blurt out I was gay at the dinner table by not saying anything besides “can you pass the stuffing” for quite a few years, but that’s less relevant here I guess.
It may sound strange, but in order to make the most perfect Thanksgiving sandwich, I must first hunker down and experience a tiring Thanksgiving day. It should be slightly uncomfortable, then kind of enjoyable, and then a blissful solitude as I focus on my upcoming moment of sandwich. If someone were to rate my Thanksgiving experience, I’d like them to give it a strong six out of ten. The food just doesn’t taste as good without good gossip and an argument or two. This is a fact of my life that I’m learning to accept as someone who spent most of her early life refusing to speak aloud the things that would make her angry. I don’t think I like when things are too perfect.
It’s been some time since that year I first spent Thanksgiving away from home. I now understand that the warmth of Thanksgiving is a feeling I was chasing beyond that one day of the year. I don’t just miss having someone cook a meal for me or tell me that they’re thankful I’m in their life — though these are things that I cherish. I’m also missing the ever-fleeting sense of home I associate with the holidays. The way my mom would put out my brother’s and my old school Thanksgiving crafts. The scent of cinnamon and pumpkin. The sound of good china being cautiously pulled out of a high cabinet. The cheesiest Thanksgiving movie on our TV.
For me, home is now found within people and the energy I want to put into the holidays.
If you just came here for the recipe, I feel you. I’ve scrolled through thousands of blogs wishing I didn’t have to read about the author’s dark past or dinner party hosting tips in order to get a three-direction recipe for baked feta pasta, yet here we are. But if you’ve read along this far past my mentions of inner child healing and slightly pretentious ideations of loneliness and family, I’m happy to share with you how I create the best sandwich in the world.
In order to make your perfect Thanksgiving sandwich, you must first choose your bread. If I’m feeling energetic, I love seeking out a loaf of sourdough or dutch crunch and getting it fried in a pan with some olive oil. But just a dinner roll will do if you’re not trying to buy more groceries. Dinner rolls are a perfect handheld vehicle for your sandwich.
Then slather that good cranberry sauce on it or any other sauce you like. I’m personally a fan of just getting canned cranberries and mixing them up a little bit and adding walnuts, but it’s up to you. Homemade sauce is also so good. I’m a mayo hater but mustard is sometimes acceptable if my turkey is too dry. And sometimes if I make gravy, I’ll put some on as a condiment. Nasty? It’s not, but I won’t tell you how to live your life.
Next, you’re gonna want to find the heart of your sammy. Be it turkey, tofurkey, ham, veggies, or what have you. Heat that up in a pan or microwave and lay it ever so gently on top of your spread and bread.
Here’s where your creativity can shine through. Depending on what you actually enjoy eating on Thanksgiving, you may have a different assortment of sides than I do. For me, I mix an egg with the leftover stuffing and cook it to create a more solid hunk of stuffing. Throw that on there along with some mashed potatoes — sweet or regular, I don’t care — and you’re set. You can add traditional sandwich things like tomatoes, lettuce, and onions if you want. It’s just not my personal sammy vibe.
Really, just make it how you like it. Add or remove things that don’t serve your sandwich. And try sharing it with others. I’m learning how to do that now.
Playlist: Songs for Vibing with Your Found Family on Thanksgiving
Feature image photo by RichLegg via Getty Images
Holigays 2022 // Header by Viv Le
When I was a kid, Thanksgiving was always a big ordeal for the whole family. We’d pile into our car and head to grandma’s house for long conversations and piles of rolls, turkey, and cranberry sauce. I’d play some game on my uncle’s computer when I was full and fall asleep in the couch until it was time to head home.
When I went off to college and money was tight, it was harder to come home to have that same experience. My parents hadn’t been together for a while so it was hard to see everyone at the same time anyway — sometimes it did feel lonely, sometimes it still does. Maybe it was the fact that in some fleeting moments, our given family knows us so closely and can ease into conversations about childhood or something you really liked at Thanksgiving dinner when you were a kid. Or perhaps it was the fact that my first year of college away from home was a particularly cold Bay Area fall, but I found myself craving a warmth beyond food and drink.
I began to understand that the day would only as much as I made it. It would only feel as satisfying as the energy that I put into making new friendships and sharing new memories.
With all these emotions stewing inside me, I did what I do best. I made a playlist to set the mood and intention of this month. This playlist goes out to those who feel similarly. For those who crave that warmth and connection on a day that really isn’t much different than the others, besides the tryptophan and incredible leftovers. For those who might need or prefer to spend the day with chosen or found family for their own wellbeing. I put together this playlist so you can put it on when you’re spending hours cooking or scrolling to find something to order in. Here’s about seven hours of songs to play behind conversations and to fill the comforting silence of breaking bread over a tofurkey, ham, or whatever you like to stuff your face with.
Happy November!
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
Let Me DJ Your Gay Halloween Party
To me, October is the sexiest month.
I had my first kiss in the fall of my sophomore year of high school. A few Halloweens after that, I played spin the bottle and kissed my then crush and someone else that would eventually become my girlfriend on the same night. So, it’s no surprise to me that when the air turns crisp every year I get nostalgic and remember how important everything seemed to be back then. October always evokes that feeling of mess in me.
Since then my prefrontal cortex has — I think — aged to a nice ripeness. But Halloween still feels a bit different than it used to when I was a kid. Instead of adolescent tension and my parent’s favorite liquor, these days I enjoy going to a party or show, taking a fun little something, dancing in a gay little costume, and going home to my own skincare routine and bed. Love shaking my ass and then getting into bed at a reasonable time. Must be my Taurus rising.
Anyways, if you’re planning on throwing a messy little gay Halloween party this month or need something to put on your speakers while you hook up with that person dressed in that sexy A League of Their Own costume, allow me to present my gay little Halloween playlist.
I spent a lot of time choosing the correct song to start the playlist off, so please enjoy “UCKERS” by Shygirl to get you in a partying mood — nothing says gay party to me more than a little Shygirl to whet the palette. I’ve also thrown in some classic throwbacks, a few of my favorite house tracks, some moderately festive songs, and other songs I’d want to hear at a party. Basically just songs that I think I would enjoy whilst being drunk at a party.
Here Are 100 Songs From Me to You — Curated to Make You Feel Hot and Festive
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
Seven Queer Horror Games You Should Consider Playing
Feature art by Autostraddle // image by no_limit_pictures via Getty Images
Horror Is So Gay // Header by Viv Le
If you spent most of your childhood watching horror films through partially closed eyes or blanket shields but now want to watch or play horror or thriller focused media to widen your experiences, you might be like me.
One of my first experiences with anything remotely in the horror or thriller genre was when I was about nine years old. I had woken up sometime in the night and was going downstairs for some water when I stumbled upon my dad watching Alien. Yes, in that moment maybe I internalized something about Sigourney Weaver in a jumpsuit. But what really stood out to me was the little alien bursting through that guy’s chest. From that day on, that memory would haunt the inner workings of my brain.
But as time progressed and my friends became more interested in horror, I felt obligated to watch along with them at a sleepover or at the local mall movie theater just so we could hang out. It was tolerable, but I didn’t start getting interested in horror until I started expanding my interest in video games. To me, playing a horror game held higher stakes than watching a movie. In many scenarios, you’re literally controlling the character’s moves and choices. The game will not be able to progress until you look behind the open door or progress into the next room. Unlike a movie, where you can just close your eyes and continue playing, a scary game requires you to be curious and brave enough to follow through.
For those gaymers out there looking for a taste of horror, or something horror-adjacent, this list of games is for you.
We Know the Devil
This first game actually comes to me as a recommendation from an Autostraddle community member, as a comment on a video game review I did recently. We Know the Devil is a visual novel that centers its story on three teens who must begrudgingly fight the devil at summer camp. Choose which friend to get closer to, literally fight the devil, and enjoy a great OST while you’re at it.
We Know the Devil is cheekily available for $6.66 on Steam and Nintendo Switch.
Prey
Prey also joins this list as a game that’s been mentioned to me by our lovely community here at Autostraddle. While not explicitly a horror game, Prey will keep your breath held and ass clenched. In this first-person shooter (FPS) game, you’ll play as Morgan Yu — who is canonically queer if you play as a woman — who needs to fight her way through hostile aliens on a space station orbiting the moon.
Prey is available for $29.99 on Steam, Playstation, and Xbox.
The MISSING: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories
When I searched for queer horror games while doing research for this article, this game came up multiple times. The MISSING: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories is a puzzle-platforming horror game where you take control of J.J. Macfield who is looking for her love interest and friend Emily who has gone missing. Learn more about your missing companion in this gruesome platforming game. Please note that the content warnings for this game are mentions and depictions of self-harm and suicide.
The MISSING: J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories is available for $29.99 on Steam, Nintendo Switch, and Xbox.
Dead by Daylight
Dead by Daylight is an asymmetrical (4v1) multiplayer online horror game. Play as either the killer, whose goal is to make sure none of the survivors make it out alive. Or as a survivor, who is part of a four person team with the goal of escaping the trial without being sacrificed by the killer. And while this game only has one explicit gay character as of right now — as stated by the developers — this game makes the list for the large community of queer, horror-loving DBD players out there (me).
Dead by Daylight is available on Steam, Playstation, Xbox, and Nintendo Switch at varying prices.
Hooked on You: A Dead by Daylight Dating Sim
You might be thinking, hey, why does Dead by Daylight get two entries? Well, just for the sake of mentioning that they had a dating sim made where you can actually date four of the aforementioned Dead by Daylight killers. And also I love dating sims. Choose who to date, answer their questions carefully, play mini-games, and you might just end up smooching a ruthless killer. Romance beefy Trapper, sensitive Wraith, mommy Huntress, or cool Spirit — the choice is yours.
Hooked on You: A Dead by Daylight Dating Sim is available on Steam for $9.99.
The Last of Us Part II
For those of you looking for a heart wrenching, gritty survival game about being a sad lesbian during the zombie apocolypse, The Last of Us Part II is the game for you. Play as Ellie, a human immune to the spreading Cordyceps brain virus on her journey of revenge and forgiveness. It’s tense, jarring, and gruesome. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The Last of Us Part II is available on Playstation for $39.99.
The Quarry
To close out this list, we’ll go with a more recent horror game release. The Quarry, made by the same developers that created the iconic horror game Until Dawn, is about a group of teens trying to survive a night at camp. The choices you make impact what ending you get and which teens get to survive the night. Play your cards right, and you might just save everyone.
The Quarry is available on Steam, Playstation, and Xbox at varying prices.
Horror Is So Gay is a series on queer and trans horror edited by Autostraddle Managing Editor Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya running throughout October.
I’m Qualified To Make You a Love Songs Playlist Because I Was Mildly Famous on 8tracks
Feature image by Dina Belenko Photography via Getty Images
As a chronically online teenager at a Catholic all-girls school, I spent a lot of time surfing the internet for things to associate myself with. One of the things I enjoyed the most was curating playlists and burning mixed CDs — things I could share songs with friends or crushes. If my crush had a particular song they liked, I’d grasp onto it as if it was my only way to relate to them. I’d put that song on the mixed CD and then 20 other songs I thought they might like based on the one song I knew they did. Totally just as a friendly gesture and not as a passive way of showing affection… Definitely not that…
Anyways, at the time, there was a platform that was really popular with my friends on Tumblr called 8tracks. I decided to share music with strangers on the internet too and was surprised that people also enjoyed what I was listening to. I would create the playlist in my iTunes library, export it to 8tracks, and then make a shitty playlist cover picture in Pages on my Mac.
I’m not saying every playlist I make is everyone’s favorite, but I have been enjoying doing it since my days of repressed feelings, plaid skirts, and passive-aggressive after-school text posts. So, light a candle. Put this playlist on. Think about your partner, your crush, your friends-with-benefits you wish was more, or your ex. Listen to every song, just a few, or just one over and over again like I do.
Love Playlist:
- Habitual Love – Okay Kaya
- Saturday – extremely bad man
- True Blue (feat. Angel Olsen) – Mark Ronson, Angel Olsen
- Eugene – Arlo Parks
- Alone in the Universe – Tei Shi
- I Think You’re Alright – Jay Som
- Clementine – Wet
- Prototype – Outkast
- oh my love – FKA twigs
- I Don’t Even Smoke Weed – Empress Of
- BKLYNLDN – Shura
- Romanticist – Yves Tumor
- Be Your Girl (Kaytranada Edition) – Teedra Moses, KAYTRANADA
- Over the Moon – The Marías
- By Your Side (Neptunes Remix) – Sade, The Neptunes
- Automatically In Love – Carly Rae Jepsen
- Forget Me Nots – Patrice Rushen
- Soft Stud – Black Belt Eagle Scout
- Alison – Slowdive
- In Your Eyes – BADBADNOTGOOD, Charlotte Day Wilson
- Friday Morning – Khruangbin
- Sabor a Mí – Eydie Gormé, Los Panchos
- Until You Came into My Life – Ann Peebles
- Oh Honey – Delegation
- For Your (Many Selves Version) – Kadhja Bonet
- Sea of Love – Cat Power
- Tú – maye
- Call Me – Aretha Franklin
- Something About Us – Daft Punk
- Geyser – Mitski
69.9 FM is a series of playlists from Julie’s poorly organized Spotify.
9 Queer Video Game Streamers To Watch This Fall
Feature image photo by luza studios via Getty Images
As the weather becomes colder and you feel more inclined to stay in, you might be looking for more things to watch or have on in the background while you indulge in whatever fall-flavored vices you have. Personally, there’s nothing I like to do more than pour myself tea and snuggle up to my computer monitor to watch strangers play video games online.
During the frantic start of quarantine, I was afforded a small comfort from the conversational sounds of streamers and the video games they were playing while I did my daily tasks. I’d search for a game that I was into, click around for a bit, and eventually find a streamer who had a community that I felt comfortable in. Which more times than not, was a streamer who was openly queer or who had taken measures to make sure their stream was a safe space.
For those interested in watching people play video games, but aren’t sure where or who to start with — check out this list of amazing queer streamers/content creators. And if you like these streamers and find yourself enjoying their content, consider donating directly to them as the platform they stream on takes a cut of their profits.
Granny (she/her)
When I think about spaces I feel the most safe lurking in as a viewer, Granny’s stream is one of the first to come to mind. For the most part, Granny is a variety streamer, but she will often play horror games during her Sunday stream, known as Sundae Scaries.
Find Granny on Twitch, YouTube, and TikTok.
Blizzb3ar (he/him)
Blizzb3ar is a variety streamer with an absolute heart of gold. You can find him examining true crime cases, chatting with his chaotic viewers, building intricate Lego sets, and keeping things cozy.
Find Blizzb3ar on Twitch, YouTube, and Twitter.
KiwiOnTheSticks (she/her)
KiwiOnTheSticks is a creative and helpful variety streamer who makes watching games you’ve never played before exciting. She plays a wide selection of games — except first person shooters and horror games — and will sometimes do makeup or cooking streams.
Find KiwiOnTheSticks on Twitch, Twitter, and Instagram.
LeeshCapeesh (she/they)
LeeshCapeesh is a content creator, mom, and self-proclaimed astrology nerd who streams many different types of video games — from cute dating simulator to haunting indie horror. Tune into one of her streams for a welcoming space, jokes, and possible tequila shots.
Find LeeshCapeesh on Twitch, TikTok, and YouTube.
LuxieGames (she/her)
LuxieGames is a full-time streamer who plays cozy and cute games like Animal Crossing, The Sims, and more. Catch one of her streams, and you might see her two adorable dogs, wife, and possibly a viewer favorite — the hot dog dance.
Fine LuxieGames on Twitch, TikTok, and YouTube.
PikaChulita (she/her)
PikaChulita is a charity and DEI-focused streamer who enjoys platforming, horror, simulation, and action-adventure games. You can usually catch PikaChulita streaming late afternoons and evenings.
Find PikaChulita on Twitch, Twitter, and Instagram.
DEERE (she/her)
DEERE is a streamer and drag queen with a passion for games that are scary and strange. You can find her playing her way through the scariest games out right now and serving looks while she does it.
Find DEERE on Twitch, Instagram, and Twitter.
WhatifJulia (she/her)
WhatifJulia is a full-time streamer and photographer. She plays a wide variety of games, including story games like Elden Ring and party games like Mario Kart and Mario Party. A good portion of her streams run late at night into early morning.
Find WhatifJulia on Twitch, Instagram, and Twitter.
SuperButterBuns (she/her)
SuperButterBuns is a streamer and YouTuber who focuses on content to help other gamers discover new games. You can most likely find her streaming Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday. Every other Sunday, she’ll cover current gaming news as well!
Find SuperButterBuns on Twitch, YouTube, and TikTok.
Obviously, these streamers are just a few examples of the vibrant LGBTQ+ gaming community that’s out there. You might find a totally different comfort streamer that speaks to you and makes you feel seen. Please share other streamers or YouTubers in the comments below that you enjoy!
Dungeons and Drag Queens Abound in “Gayblade,” a 90s Game You Can Play for Free
I’m in the middle of my 20s and I’ve probably spent about half of my waking hours burning my eyeballs out in front of a screen playing some video game to experience life in another world. When I was a younger queer person, it was a great way for me to escape real time for a second and mentally take myself somewhere else. These days, it’s more of a hobby and for the most part when I do seek out video games to play, it’s either because it’s gay, an anticipated release, or it holds some sort of nostalgic power over me that I want to experience again. With gay factor being one of the most reoccurring reasons I put myself through those thousands of hours of gameplay and optometrist bills.
One late night Google search for queer games to play led me down a rabbit hole of games that I’ve never heard of. I realized that there were games out there that I was missing out on simply because no one ever talked about them and also that I was not alive on this Earth when they came out.
After doing a little more research on some of the first queer computer gamers, a few really stood out to me — one of them being GayBlade, a game from 1992 that was created by Ryan Best. The plot was simple. Save Princess Nelda from homophobic enemies and return her to Castle GayKeep. I knew I needed to play this game and I learned that after being lost for years, it recently was found in 2020 and uploaded online to play for free. I accessed the game through an online archive I’ve used before and I loaded in to see for myself.
When you first open the game up, you’re greeted with a title screen that includes GayBlade in bright pink letters with a rainbow in the background—perfect. You’re then taken to what seems to be your 2D homebase. There’s a potion shop, clinic, gay guild, magic shop, and a door that enters you into the dungeon. After doing some basic exploring and clicking around, I figured out that I couldn’t enter the dungeon without rolling for four characters that would make up my party.
The game offers six different classes of characters to roll from and while the composition of my team would change drastically given the number of times that I died and had to restart my team from scratch, my first party consisted of two Mages, a Lesbian, and a Drag Queen. Given the rolling for characters mechanic and the dungeon crawling aspect of the game, GayBlade began to feel akin to a Dungeons and Dragons campaign.
Before you enter the dungeon with your newly formed party, it’s key to enter the shop and buy the necessary weapons and shields to help fight your way through. Each type of character can wield different items. But instead of getting shields for defense, you can purchase condoms or aprons. And instead of swords and other classic weapons, you can buy mace, hair dryers, and press-on nails to fight with.
I thoroughly enjoyed creating my own party of gays and the game’s playful take on item options did make me hungry for more games with out of the box options. However, what I didn’t expect was how steep the learning curve was going to be when it came to moving mechanics and combat. I should have realized that after years of playing new games with state of the art control systems and perspective, GayBlade wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. I cannot count how many times during my first run that I killed my entire party by accidentally running them into walls.
Once I started to get a grasp on the controls, my next obstacle was learning the actual combat. When my first enemy “FBI Probe” came up to me I started spamming the attack button without knowing if I was doing any damage or not. Fights in this game can be extremely punishing if you don’t roll strong characters and take breaks in between encounters. Luckily, in the dungeons of GayBlade there are many enemies to practice attacking with your party’s assortment of press-on nails and cans of mace. As you crawl through the dungeon you can confront the game’s many adversaries like cops, FBI agents, televangelists, and more horrible individuals that freely call you slurs while you fight them. Truly, it was an experience.
While GayBlade isn’t a game that I’d find myself playing for hours on end, it does have its charm. The satisfaction I felt when my entire party survived a long span of gameplay or when I successfully revived a key party member at the gay clinic was key in the enjoyability of this point and click dungeon game. I never made it to save Princess Nelda, but I implore you all to try your hand at saving her from the clutches of homophobic dungeon dwellers.
If you have any queer games that you’d like to recommend, older or current, please send them my way!
Flirt With the Cute Video Store Clerk and Deliver People’s Mail in Cozy Game “Lake”
Have you ever wanted to play a mail delivery simulator that moonlights as a wholesome version of Grand Theft Auto? Or maybe you need a remedy for nights when you can’t sleep and want a heartwarming story to sooth you back to bed? Well, Lake from developer Gamious might just be the game for you.
In Lake, you play as Meredith Weiss, a stressed out IT professional looking to get away from her life-draining job and exhausting boss. Her solution is to return to her familiar and quaint hometown of Providence Oaks for a couple weeks of R&R. Though, true to the nature of a workaholic, Meredith decides that instead of spending her time resting, her vacation will consist of delivering mail on her postman father’s route while he’s out of town.
Out of the many different types of games I’ve played, Lake has to be up there as one of the most peaceful. The main game mechanics consist of driving around in a mail truck delivering letters and packages to local residents. You’ll get to explore Providence Oaks and learn about some of its residents as you deliver mail each day and build relationships with them if you choose. Along the way you’ll meet some of the town’s eccentric residents and learn more about their stories. And in a delightful way, you’ll learn more about Meredith through these little interactions in the game.
Additionally, Lake offers two love interests to court if that’s something you’re interested in. There’s no pressure to date as the game lets you pick the dialogue options that may or may not signal your interest in either Angie or Robert. Of course, being true to my own nature, I chose Angie, the video store clerk whose ending I liked best.
The game itself is set in 1986, but even if you didn’t live through that time, Lake still conjures up the right amount of comfort to make you feel welcome. There’s a meditative quality about driving through the winding roads of Providence Oaks and reliving Meredith’s memories that evokes a nice feeling of second-hand nostalgia. While Meredith goes about her mail duties, she’ll sometimes comment on a location and its meaning to her. For example, driving past a place where she had a first kiss or a cutscene about the spot where she got drunk with a friend. The scenic forests and the eponymous Providence Oaks Lake make for a fitting backdrop for the story of reconnecting with your roots.
While I enjoyed how calming and heartwarming the game was, I did have one qualm with it. My biggest hangup was how slow Meredith walks. Usually, a game will implement some type of sprinting mechanic for players to move their character faster. And the game does have one. But for me, it didn’t make that much of a difference, and I found myself on the edge of my seat praying she’d walk just a little faster so I could get my daily deliveries done quicker. The cutscenes between deliveries did help, and I feel as if the walking mechanics were trying to subconsciously tell me to slow down and enjoy the game. And I did! I think I’m just an impatient player when it comes to slice-of-life games like Lake.
As the premise of the game is to learn more about who Meredith is and her relationships to others, there isn’t much room for error as a player. Even if you drive your mail truck into cars and pedestrians, nothing bad happens. Yes, I did try it. There are no crumbling buildings or angry pedestrians — just you having to do a virtual three-point turn to atone for your driving mistakes. But if you’re the type that likes to play video games immersed, stopping at every red light to ruminate over each dialogue option, I’d download Lake as fast as you possibly can. It’ll definitely scratch that itch for a game with cozy vibes, cute dating options, and a wholesome story.
Lake is available for Microsoft Windows, Xbox, Playstation, and Google Stadia for $19.99.