Summer Tao, Author at Autostraddle

regular

you need help

"How do I experiment and find what makes my partner feel good if even a light make out session makes him overwhelmed with anxiety about his inexperience?"

‘How Can I Be a Good Girlfriend When My Partner Is Extremely Anxious About Sex’

“I feel like we intuitively understand each other and our needs in a lot of matters and are willing to figure it out when intuition isn’t enough. One area that…

Summer Tao —

Feb 4, 2025

bisexuality

regular

"I have practically zero sexual experience with women, and although I want to learn, I'm afraid that women will lose interest in me after I tell them about my inexperience."

dating

‘I Just Realized I’m Bi and Am Extremely Anxious’

I’ve flirted with women at bars, online, and have even had a few steamy make-out sessions, but I’m extremely anxious about taking it any further.

Summer Tao —

Jan 21, 2025

#affiliatemarketing

you need help

“What cuts/styles of lingerie bottoms or pretty/sexy underwear are femmes with abundant pubic hair rocking?”

shopping

‘I Want Femme Lingerie That Accommodates an Abundance of Pubic Hair’

“Finding a pretty bra is relatively easy. However, I feel like I haven’t figured out what to do by way of pretty underwear.”

Summer Tao —

Jan 14, 2025

regular

you need help

"A few years ago, when I met the person who is now my best friend, I definitely had a big crush."

friendship

‘Is It Okay if I Stay in Love With My Best Friend?’

“We’re not going to get together for a lot of reasons — I don’t really have time for a new partner, they’re monogamous and I am not, and they’re just…

Summer Tao —

Jan 7, 2025

regular

trans

"I've been trying to find resources/advice for how to support a partner who is starting the process of taking hormones, but am really struggling to find information that isn't transphobic."

relationships

‘I Want To Support My Partner Who Is Starting HRT’

“I know there will be need to be a lot of conversations about what they’re feeling and conversations specific to how I can support them.”

Summer Tao —

Dec 24, 2024

regular

you need help

"I would very much like to 'travel downtown' without it ruining my whole face."

sex

‘Every Time I Go Down on My Partner, I Get the Nastiest Acne of My Entire Life’

I haven’t struggled with acne almost at all in my lifetime, but after eating my partner out, I break out with a “beard” of zits that lasts all week.

Summer Tao —

Dec 17, 2024

regular

you need help

"I have been struggling with a lot of shame about this but I'm also really excited."

sex

‘I Want To Call My Partner Mommy’

“The issue for me right now is talking about it!”

Summer Tao —

Dec 10, 2024

asexuality

you need help

"Recently, we've been flirting a lot, and my romantic feelings for her have returned."

dating

‘How Can I Talk to My Friend/Crush About Sexual Compatibility Without Being Weird?’

Does it make sense to suggest talking about how we feel about kissing/ cuddling/ sex-related stuff/etc.? And if so, what’s the best way to go about it respectfully and in…

Summer Tao —

Nov 19, 2024

reproductive health

south africa

politics + activism

I’m South African. Trump’s Presidency Affects Abortion Access in My Country, Too

The Global Gag Rule prohibits organizations receiving US foreign aid from providing abortion procedures, referrals, and information in their countries of operation. It applies regardless of the legal status of…

Summer Tao —

Nov 12, 2024

you need help

"I want to feel hot — not awful / dysphoric / self conscious."

pick an actual category, you strange genius

‘How Can I Dress Kinky and Androgynous at Play Parties?’

The context to this question is that my partner and I are both kinky (privately? I guess?), and we’re interested in feeling out the kink scene locally a bit more.

Summer Tao —

Nov 5, 2024

friendship

My Girlfriend and I Did a Boudoir Shoot With Our Gay Bestie and It Was Great for Self-Esteem

There was also something to be said for the beauty of women bonding platonically over sexuality.

Summer Tao —

Nov 4, 2024

first person

Cheers to the Birthday I Didn’t Think I’d Reach

I turned 30 last month. It was my first birthday in recent memory I actually planned for.

Summer Tao —

Oct 30, 2024

About Autostraddle

Summer Tao

Featured Articles by Author

4 Unexpected Things That Can Happen to Transfeminine Bodies on Estrogen

How To Please a Pillow Princess, by a Pillow Princess

4 Unexpected Things That Can Happen to Transfeminine Bodies on Estrogen

How To Please a Pillow Princess, by a Pillow Princess

All Articles by this Author on Autostraddle

‘How Can I Be a Good Girlfriend When My Partner Is Extremely Anxious About Sex’

‘I Just Realized I’m Bi and Am Extremely Anxious’

‘I Want Femme Lingerie That Accommodates an Abundance of Pubic Hair’

‘Is It Okay if I Stay in Love With My Best Friend?’

‘I Want To Support My Partner Who Is Starting HRT’

‘Every Time I Go Down on My Partner, I Get the Nastiest Acne of My Entire Life’

‘I Want To Call My Partner Mommy’

‘How Can I Talk to My Friend/Crush About Sexual Compatibility Without Being Weird?’

I’m South African. Trump’s Presidency Affects Abortion Access in My Country, Too

‘How Can I Dress Kinky and Androgynous at Play Parties?’

My Girlfriend and I Did a Boudoir Shoot With Our Gay Bestie and It Was Great for Self-Esteem

Cheers to the Birthday I Didn’t Think I’d Reach