himani

you need help

love + sex

You Need Help: Am I Being Unreasonable for Feeling Undesired by My Girlfriend?

I think the topic of Asian desire doesn’t get nuanced attention often enough.

himani —

Jul 4, 2023

you need help

parenting & family

You Need Help: My Sister Loves Me, the Sinner, but Hates the Sin

I’ve been willing to put this aside and accept the love she’s willing to give me. But it’s all come to a head now that my health insurance finally approved…

himani —

Jun 27, 2023

netflix

never have i ever

tv reviews

“Never Have I Ever Season Four” Stepped Right Into the Affirmative Action Debate

As in previous seasons, it’s hard not to feel that a show that’s theoretically about raising the profile of an often-misrepresented racial minority in America, instead completely misrepresents racism as…

himani —

Jun 26, 2023

covid-19

Practical Magic

health

Practical Magic: COVID Is Here to Stay — So What Does It Mean to Keep Each Other Safe?

We can be more thoughtful about how we interact with others during these enduringly uncertain times.

himani —

Feb 23, 2023

hbo max

Sort Of

tv reviews

“Sort Of” Season 2 Grapples With the Many Complications of Love

One of the things I love about season one of Sort Of is how it shows a variety of relationships and the significance they all have on Sabi’s life without…

himani —

Jan 25, 2023

coming out a little later

you need help

identity

You Need Help: I Just Turned 65 and I’m Questioning My Sexuality

I think everyone in the queer community knows this but I think we need to say it more explicitly and more often: Queerness is a journey.

himani —

Dec 27, 2022

you need help

relationships

You Need Help: What To Do With This Meaningless, Single Life?

I want to try to hold space here for both: for your (and my, really) pain and for the possibility that you may not feel this way forever.

himani —

Nov 22, 2022

autostraddle fundraising

straddleverse

Writing for Autostraddle Helped Me Find the Words for My Real Coming Out

“To come into myself, to really integrate my queerness as an essential part of myself, I needed to start telling the stories I had been holding in for so long.”

himani —

Nov 10, 2022

you need help

dating

You Need Help: How To Date While Dealing With Mental Illness

Dating has often felt like a game I don’t know how to play. “An elaborate puzzle,” as you say. One where the pieces are sharp as knives that cut to…

himani —

Nov 1, 2022

first person

Letters to My Dead, Gay [REDACTED]

I don’t know you. I never did. But I presume that in all of our family, perhaps, I am the only one who could even begin to understand you.

himani —

Sep 15, 2022

#affiliatemarketing

memoir

lgbt book reviews

Putsata Reang’s New Memoir Fills In the Gaps of Lost Family History

Putsata Reang’s memoir “Ma and Me” grapples with what it means to carry intergenerational trauma not only as an Asian American, immigrant, and refugee but also as a queer person.

himani —

Aug 18, 2022

netflix

never have i ever

tv reviews

Never Have I Ever’s Queer South Asian Representation Is a Cop Out

The writers seem more interested in giving fans the pairing they wanted to see after season two rather than developing Aneesa as a nuanced character in her own right.

himani —

Aug 15, 2022