Vanessa

sex advice

sexting

lesbian sex

How to Write a Really Hot Sext in 5 Easy Steps

Here is a beginner’s guide to sending really hot sexts to your casual date, your girlfriend, and every babe in between. You’re welcome.

Vanessa —

Jan 14, 2021

dating

Direct Communication Rules, Ghosting Sucks, Let’s All Say What We Mean

You may be wondering, do I really have to communicate directly about EVERYTHING? In short… yes! Well okay, in slightly longer: almost always yes.

Vanessa —

Jan 14, 2021

online dating

tinder

lesbian dating apps

How to Choose Dating App Photos That’ll Have Babes Swiping Hell Yes

You want to look like your best self: fun, hot, interesting, and lez be real, it doesn’t hurt if you look like you might actually send the first message.

Vanessa —

Jan 12, 2021

advice

body positivity

dating

Assume Everyone Thinks You’re Hot, I’m Serious

The confident vibe you get from me? The “naturally sexy” way you (might) think I am? It’s not natural at all. It’s a choice; it can be learned. Here’s how!

Vanessa —

Jan 11, 2021

holigay open thread

new year's eve

community

Grounding Ourselves for 2021: A NYE Round Table & Open Thread

In a chaotic world, how will you show up for yourself and provide yourself with the consistency you need in the new year and beyond?

Vanessa —

Dec 31, 2020

hanukkah

holigay open thread

community

Tale As Old As Time: Here Is Your Christmakwanzakah Open Thread!

I hope that however you decide to spend today you can grant yourself some grace and kindness — and that you pop in to hang out with us for a…

Vanessa —

Dec 24, 2020

grease

home for the holigays

community

Home Alone for the Holigays: Watch “Grease 2” with Vanessa

“To be honest, my birthday is December 21 / Winter Solstice, and that’s the most exciting part of the holiday season for me!”

Vanessa —

Dec 18, 2020

hanukkah

holiday gift guide

community

Give Money to a Mutual Aid Fund Instead of Giving Gifts This Holigay Season

Here are 16 mutual aid funds that we’re supporting this holiday season. Tell us about the ones that are closest to your heart, too!

Vanessa —

Dec 10, 2020

holigay open thread

open thread

community

OPEN THREAD: What Are You Doing Today, Are You Okay?

Let’s be here together, apart — the safest way to show community care this year.

Vanessa —

Nov 26, 2020

butt stuff

Butt Week

dating

How To Take A Perfect Butt Selfie

We’re going to learn how to take a perfect ass selfie together in honor of Autostraddle’s Butt Week and your perfect butt.

Vanessa —

Oct 17, 2020

covid-19

judaism

society + culture

How to Celebrate the Jewish High Holidays During a Pandemic

I hope that no matter what you’re doing, you’re able to find a tiny piece of joy, a small bite of sweetness. Amen.

Vanessa —

Sep 17, 2020

covid-19

you need help

dating

You Need Help: Can I Tell My Poly Roommate Not to See Her Partners Because of Coronavirus?

It becomes increasingly difficult to ask individuals to make huge personal sacrifices, at great cost, when it is clear the government is doing almost nothing to move us toward a…

Vanessa —

Aug 4, 2020