Vanessa

Fat Femme Fashion Roundtable

fatness

style

Puberty, Gym Class & Aeropostale — Fat Femmes On Their Childhood Style

“It sounds like we were all told by others that we were too big as children — rather than actually feeling that way ourselves?”

Vanessa —

May 5, 2022

open thread

community

It’s a Friday Open Thread, but on a Thursday!

Today, in honor of our 13th birthday this month (!) and the extraordinary fundraiser Nicole is leading to keep us going (hopefully for 13 more years and then some!) we…

Vanessa —

Mar 17, 2022

listling without commentary

community

The Gayest Things You Did at 13

111. I wrote hundreds of love letters to Janet Jackson. I never sent them, but was convinced that we would end up married some day.

Vanessa —

Mar 16, 2022

crafts & diy projects

Crafts I Intended To Try This Winter but Now It’s Almost Spring so I Guess I’ll Put Them Off for Another Year

I don’t know about you, but every single year when the cold depressing months come around, I cheer myself up by putting together a list of potential crafts I could…

Vanessa —

Mar 15, 2022

community

Tell Us All About the Gayest Things You Did at 13!

We’re collecting reader stories about the gayest things you did at 13 for a fun list we’ll publish next week and we want to hear from you, yes, YOU!

Vanessa —

Mar 10, 2022

memoir

nonfiction

lgbt book reviews

“Girls Can Kiss Now” and Other Realizations with Jill Gutowitz

We reviewed “Girls Can Kiss Now,” Jill Gutowitz’s debut essay collection about pop culture, the internet, growing up, and being very very gay. You’re gonna love it.

Vanessa —

Mar 8, 2022

Time Zones Week

first person

We Call It Time Travel

To love someone new is to agree to travel somewhere that doesn’t exist yet together.

Vanessa —

Feb 23, 2022

food and drink

Things I’ve Eaten for Lunch at My Girlfriend’s House

“That’s a lot of provolone, babe!” – my girlfriend, when I read this list to her

Vanessa —

Jan 30, 2022

you need help

dating

You Need Help: Will I Ever Grow Out Of The Messy Questioning Phase?

Accept the messy questioning phase. It’s the whole point of being alive.

Vanessa —

Dec 28, 2021

you need help

friendship

You Need Help: I Don’t Know How To Be a Casual Friend

It sounds like you want to be neutral with your former friend. That will take some work and some boundary-setting on your part, but it’s doable.

Vanessa —

Dec 14, 2021

you need help

dating

You Need Help: How Do I Pursue a Beautiful Woman Without Getting My Feelings Hurt?

The very short answer is you can’t — but it’s probably still worth it to give this situationship a chance!

Vanessa —

Dec 7, 2021

RITUALS

first person

Say Hello to RITUALS, an Autostraddle End of Year Miniseries

The eight writers who contributed to this miniseries will share all sorts of rituals: rituals for love, rituals for grief, rituals for forgiveness, rituals for inner peace. My wish is…

Vanessa —

Dec 6, 2021