Feature image of Ashlyn Harris, who released an w s Instagram statement that she did not cheat on her ex-wife Ali Krieger, by Ira L. Black via Corbis/Getty Images
The weeks following the announcement of Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris’s divorce were a whirlwind, and many emotions were experienced throughout the community as we processed the news that Ashlyn was dating Sophia Bush and then that Ali was in her Lemonade era and then Ali won the NWSL championships. Fans and friends rallied around Ali to support her as stories of the divorce and of her ex being in a relationship with Sophia continued to overshadow her final weeks of play.
After a few days of obtuse instagram stories featuring suggestive but also puzzling quotes like, “shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on,” Ashlyn Harris has released a statement in the form of a multi-slide instagram story. In the statements, she discusses the pain of ending her 13-year relationship with Ali Krieger, her desire to be a good Mom, and how it’s felt to be the subject of such intense hatred on the internet.
In early November, DeuxMoi had claimed, via an unnamed anonymous source, that Sophia Bush had pursued Ashlyn for a year while she was still married to Ali Krieger and that Ali had evidence of their affair and had allegedly ended friendships with people who’d known about the infidelity. Maybe that story was true, maybe it wasn’t — the internet is indeed a place where anybody who wants to can make up a story at any time can do so. In her statement, Ashlyn says those rumors were not true.
“Let me be clear: I did not step out on my marriage. I was always faithful in my marriage, if not always totally happy. Like in many partnerships, there was work in therapy and processing done. None of this happened on a whim. We spent the entire summer working to tackle the separation and divorce steps outlined for us by our therapists, lawyers, and our shared agency,” Harris wrote.
Breakups are difficult and messy and heartbreaking and confusing and often within those breakups people do bad things, maybe the worst things, and all the hurt and confusion and pressure gets mixed up and blows up. Obviously none of those details can be truly understood out of context by anybody besides the people involved, and those are the same people who can ultimately decide what the consequences for those actions are, rather than the internet. Maybe the stories were true, maybe they weren’t, and online bullying is bad either way. At the end of the day, we are all but dust in the wind, spiraling away through the universe, messing up and trying to do better next time.
Or maybe this would have been a good opportunity to mention woso fans’ “intensity”, to put it mildly. And how horrendous this whole ordeal has been and how badly it reflects on the community in particular. Maybe, publishing made up stories about people without having even passing knowledge of them is not the best idea or funny at this point that we’ve seen what people do with it.
Exactly. I mean what a trashy take by autostraddle (again). Apparently online mobs harassing people they deem “bad” is ok because “we’re all dust in the wind”. What the actual fuck? I guess it’s all about accountability and condemning people for their “bad” behavior as long as it’s only applied to celebrities and their supposed but not proven wrong-doings, but not to the actual vile behavior of people who make up a big part of this site’s readership. Sadly, I’m not even surprised by the lack of empathy for the people involved (like they are just clickbait for you) and the unwillingness to speak out about this online hate campaign that wouldn’t have been ok even if Harris had cheated.
This comment has been removed as it is in violation of Autostraddle’s Comment Policy. Repeat or egregious offenders will be banned.
I’d did it for the clicks.
Talk about missing the point. Jesus christ, you are part of the problem.
So true Riese, on the one hand: interesting story! On the other hand: just a story! Who knows?
Trashlyn is delusional.
Look up all the posts about Ashlyn Harris on Fauxmoi on Reddit. Multiple people have found video and photo evidence that proves the affair started long before either of them filed for divorce from their spouses.
I think the larger point is, why is anyone not named Ali Krieger bothering to look for video and photo evidence of an affair in the first place?
You’ll be amazed at how devoted and talented internet sleuths are at finding screenshots, videos and photos that prove a person’s guilt. It’s a major hobby for some, an actual job (reporters, journalists) for others.
They have not proved anything though. There is still no proof of any affair. Ashlyn said with her full chest that there was no cheating. Ali just insinuated and won’t say anything now and that speaks volumes
Absolutely nothing is sacred on the internet. It is one big gigantic graveyard. Even stuff that is erased can be recovered. Internet sleuths and journalists are taking screenshots *all* the time of celebrity online behaviour to keep tabs on them.
If you’re in the public eye, you must proceed with caution. There’s a reason many celebrities have their agents and PR reps run their social media accounts for them. JK Rowling for example had her twitter password changed during the early days of her TERF arguments which is why she would vanish for months on end then come back again.
Sophia was liking thirst traps of Ashlyn on TikTok during the affair, there’s dozens of photos and videos of them sneaking touches at Cannes, both Ash and Sophia have been throwing shade at Ali and her family in her IG stories in the past week, and not to mention the bizarre Ali bashing tweets Ashlyn has been liking on twitter too.
Literally nothing is sacred on the internet. People are always watching, even when you think they’re not. That’s why you must be extremely careful with what you’re posting and sharing if you don’t want it to haunt you.
None of the stuff that people claim proves an affair actually proves an affair. It “looks bad” but it doesn’t DEFINITIVELY prove anything. The stuff of them “stealing touches” in Cannes is posing for group photos with their hands on each other – which is a perfectly normal thing to do, and is only being taken as proof of an affair in hindsight. People can be touchy-feely and a bit flirty without actually having done anything further. The liking of the thirst traps suggests Bush at least had a crush, but even that isn’t guaranteed – I’ve liked random stuff online because my cats sometimes paw my phone screen.
There’s online material that proves two things: Ashlyn and Sophia physically touched in Cannes, and Sophia liked a thirst trap. We can infer that something might have happened, Ali’s reaction implies that she thinks it did but again doesn’t outright confirm or deny anything. Anything else is just fanfiction about real people – which sadly is something the gossip-loving section of the wlw woso fan community loves to do.
And I say this as someone who doesn’t particularly like Ashlyn btw – taking “proud parent” out of her bio after her divorce announcement was a really weird move with some unpleasant implications, she’s done some uncomfortably appropriative stuff, even bits of this statement feel unnecessarily mean spirited etc. But the fact that I don’t personally think she seems like a great person doesn’t mean she DEFINITELY did a bunch of bad things based on the blanks a subreddit has filled in and decided is fact. That’s how the online gossip community works, but that doesn’t mean they’re correct in their assumptions.
That subreddit is completely unhinged and full of falsehoods. There is zero evidence of an affair
I’m with Ank. Watching this unfold has been kind of freaky. I was unprepared for WoSo fans’ social media’s uh, “passion” which, to be honest, borders on psychosis. (I was oblivious to all of this, and now I am scared 🤯.) I came out of retirement to write this comment, and this whole thing almost inspired a new entry in my defunct blog “Stuff Lesbians Like” which was basically a list of weird shit lesbians do. A list of “Lesbians, why are you like this?!” Anyway, I’m going back into my cave.
When I read this, I felt uneasy, then mad. At first AS mourned the end of the marriage, then distastefully quickly celebrated Ashlyn Harris and Sophia Bush, seemingly as a win for lesbians – welcome to the club Sophia! – then thought perhaps that was a bit shit and joined Team Ali.
I deplore the way AS celebrates heartbreak and bad behaviour as thrilling lesbian drama avidly consumed from the sidelines. Queers shouldn’t get a free pass because we’re different, inherently non-conformist blah blah blah. That excuses shitty behaviour.
I’m a loyal reader and will continue to be so, but I don’t accept this mentality and will call it out, as others have. AS does amazing work and has proved to be responsive to readers in the past, so please take this on board. Thanks.
People get excited about gossip when straight celebrities have a messy divorce, so I don’t think it’s as much about queer celebrities being less toxic as much as it’s about their toxicity being more interesting to the target audience?
Hot celeb goss! It’s under the Vapid Fluff category for a reason y’all.
What the hell? That actually makes it worse. What a cop out
Look, I’m fine with a bit celebrity gossip – I’m sure it doesn’t feel great sometimes, but having people comment on and theorize about your life is always going to be a part of being in the public eye. Targeted abuse though – that is never OK.
Anyone that is so invested in the life of a celebrity that they are hurling personal insults at their former partner really needs to take stock of their own life and make some changes. I’ve got plenty of my own parasocial relationships with public figures, but at the end of the day I understand that I don’t actually know these people. It seems like a lot of y’all have lost sight of that reality.
Fans – please leave these women alone to process what I’m sure has been a very difficult experience. There are very young children involved here, who would benefit from allowing their mothers to build a functional co-parenting relationship. And AS – let’s call out messed up fan behavior rather than just fanning the flames.
Well said. Thank you.
Perhaps we need to take a closer look at ourselves if we think that passing judgment on the personal troubles of celebrities is all just a bit of vapid fluff.
These are real folks with real problems. And as pointed out by numerous other responses here, there are kids involved.
It’s pretty sad that an organization like AS, which so often lays claim to the moral righteousness of situations, has failed such an obvious and basic litmus test.
I can always trust y’all to stake out some random moral high ground. This is where you draw the line? Soccer player steps out on wife with D-list actress?
OK, sis.
She didn’t cheat on Ali. Fans just jumped to conclusions.
Thanks for posting about this. I think it deserves highlighting that Ali’s Lemonade post seemingly weaponized the notorious WoSo fans against Ashlyn based on a false pretense.