Rumours have been flying for weeks now, but our reliable tabloid friends The Daily Mail UK and The Metro report that famous attractive person Cara Delevingne was spotted playing a spirited round of tonsil hockey with our favourite Grammy award-winning fantasy girlfriend, Annie Clark (née St. Vincent). The kiss that launched a thousand ships took place at a Universal Music afterparty for the Brit awards, where Delevingne had been a presenter and Clark lost some sort of “best international female” award to Taylor Swift, International Female.
Instead of paparazzi shots, please enjoy this artist’s rendering of what these two goodlooking humans look like next to each other.
According to eyewitnesses, the pair “made no effort” to hide their passionate embrace, as though this was a thing that they should have made an effort to hide? Being a celebrity sounds so weird. Anyway, tabloids claim that these two lil’ heartbreakers have been kissing each other for about four months now, and that anthropomorphic pair of eyebrows Cara has met Annie’s parents. The Metro even reports that Cara has gotten a little tattoo of the initials “AC,” which could stand for AC Slater or Atlantic City but could also stand for Annie Clark. On Monday afternoon, the pair were spotted walking around lower Manhattan, probably looking for the Whole Foods that Ellen Page and her mystery blonde shop at.
For those of you updating your Alice Pieszecki-style charts at home, this is the same Cara Delehooha who delighted fans everywhere by attending a basketball game with a very drunk and rowdy Michelle Rodriguez. Following their breakup, Rodriguez went on to have a very romantic love affair with Zac Efron. As far as we know, Annie used to stand awfully close to Carrie Brownstein in a lot of pictures. These days, Brownstein is standing next to Orange Is The New Black‘s Taylor Schilling in photos.
This (adorable) pairing raises many questions for Gothip Girl:
- Are Annie and Cara just trying to make their ex-girlfriends jealous? If so, is it working?
- What do these two even talk about?
- Is this relationship proof that St. Vincent has actually just wanted to date Autostraddle contributing editor Cara Giaimo all along?
- Why does the universe keep trying to force me to learn how to spell Delevingne?
As always, we will keep you posted as this story continues to unfold.
That picture!
They’ve been dating since December. Cara’s been following her around on tour and they were papped at a beachhouse in Malibu together (Cara was naked) and they were together in Bali, Taiwan, and Tokyo over the past couple weeks. Also at the Brits: https://instagram.com/p/zi042cqlbU/
So I assume “papped” refers to the paparazzi, but for a hot second I imagined the two of them getting Pap smears together
Nominating @emily for a comment award.
so romantic
Thank you for this important breaking news. I know I can count on Stef to report on the important things. #celeblivesmatter
That picture is flawless.
Annie and Cara have apparently been seeing each other since December. They’ve vacationed together and everything. Pretty sure they’ll be U-Hauling soon. There’s a video from the Brit awards on Instagram of Cara caressing Annie’s head and rubbing her back. They’re cute.
Also, do you know something about Carrie and Taylor that we don’t know? Because that’s the 2nd time I’ve seen them be mentioned here. I’m intrigued.
They were together last fall, but broke up in October. They might be getting close again though?
this headline, though.
also: “As far as we know, Annie used to stand awfully close to Carrie Brownstein in a lot of pictures. These days, Brownstein is standing next to Orange Is The New Black‘s Taylor Schilling in photos.”
this really is the only gossip column i will ever need.
You’re a little late on the Taylor/Carrie bit. They broke up a few months ago. (Allegedly.)
Well AS has only in the past week informed it’s readers via Megan Praz’s cartoon that Carrie Brownstein is recovering from her recent heartbreak from Annie-nee-St Vincent-at
-birth-Clark by focusing on the positive and declaring to anyone she sees walking by that
“I’m a cool dresser”.
That’s what counts. This gives her validation and the adoration of an ocean full of single lesbos. Not how much one’s heartbreak is tearing at the core of one’s being from being cleft from Annie. Just saying. Focus on the positive, Carrie, to whichever degree, it all counts.
Feel free to agree or disagree with her reader, but I suspect you’ll conclude she’s right.
But m
But more importantly, how do you pronounce Delevingne?
It’s pronounced Dell-a-veen.
but sometimes i pronounce it the way it looks.
Wow, that picture. BABES.
God I really hope all of the subjects of these gossip columns are all friends and that they get together in their Fancy Famous Queer Lady Vacation House Sequestered In The Woods and read these stories and just laugh their beautiful heads off and then play drinking games together
Someone please write this fanfic
Sounds like the dream
Couple of things:
1.) I went to high school with Annie Clark. I was two years below her but that still counts, right? Right?!?
2.) I hate making assumptions about a couple that I don’t know but this pairing seems odd to me. Cara seems kind of crazy? Not in a bad way, just in a way. Annie seems more quiet and reserved. Cara seems like she’s up for a lot of shenanigans.
3.) Off to listen to “Bad Believer” on repeat… That song will not leave my head.
I agree.
I think they are Gal Pals and discuss old episodes of the X Files, which they only watched because both admitted they build shrines as girls to Dana Scully,mid century Scandinavian Furniture they’re delighted that they found at yard sales, and try out new salad combinations involving kale, acai berries and quinoa whose ingredients originated from a road side shop run and grown by the monks from the local Zen monastery. Insider knowledge is everything, Lauren.
It’s always nice seeing members of my Celebrity All-Star Fantasy League standing near each other
this is the best article i have ever read
we all wanted St Vincent to end up with you.
“Annie Clark (née St. Vincent)”
This implies that Annie Clark was named St. Vincent “at birth” which is what “née” means. I don’t think that’s how stage-names work.
(I’m currently marking dozens of awful first-year papers, so yes, I’m much more attuned to these kinds of typographical errors.)
(I think that’s the joke)
I’ve seen too many spelling errors, especially in regards to French-based words, on this site that I can’t tell what’s a joke and what’s an oversight. Sigh. Though it is Stef, so one way or another she’s going to make me feel like an ass no matter what I do.
Sorry, who are these people and why do I care? Are we so desperate for lesbian news of some kind that we follow around rich people hoping they will make out? Get a fucking goddess if you want to worship someone instead worshipping some imaginary ideas of people you’ve never met. Celebrities actually don’t matter, artists matter; one of these women is a Grammy winner of some kind? Okay, talk about that.
So…how long did it take you to climb on top of that tower?
And what is the value of judging people for being entertained by something that, in your opinion, has no value. The hypocrisy runs deep.
DAMNIT I clicked the like button accidentally on this one. My bad, people.
someone missed the Irony boat that Autostraddle has been steering since day 1
I bet you’re a lot of fun at parties.
Uh…are you aware that you clicked a link to a gossip column-like story? Really. Really? That was your comment? Do you realize there are several stories on the site that most of us don’t read because it doesn’t interest us? Not only did you click on the story, you read it, then commented on how you didn’t care.
Interesting.
“Why does the universe keep trying to force me to learn how to spell Delevingne?”
Girl I feel you so hard on this
Can we actually like have a chart? Is there someone at Autostraddle good with mind mapping and queer gossip? I know Office OneNote has the feature.
i actually drew one while i was working on this article… but so much of it was speculation and i like to have my facts verified and you know, blake would get upset, so.
I’d like to nominate this comment for one of those special staff comment awards because blake.
Stef,
I think we need to see this chart of yours. And there would need to be copious notes on the finer idiosyncracies of each couple such as:
What each couple does for entertainment
Their preferred deep meaningful conversation themes
Their nicknames for each other
Their chosen tell tale markers of lesbian lifestyle ie They got a cat together. They dress alike. they are morphing into one another and wonder why they are feeling slight vague resentment, etc.
Their theme song and favourite tv shows.
Stef’s Chart 101-999
Speculation and innuendo are only the tip of the iceberg.
Note to Blake to avoid this, perhaps.
And a hand drawn picture by Stef of each couple. Cara D’s eyebrows are just fantastic, Stef!
now i have a cara delevingne paper doll for all occasions.
I move that we soon see an article consisting of Stef’s Cara Delevigne paper doll in varying settings. Like. I’m pretty sure Paper Cara Explores the World of Autostraddle would be 10/10.
I think it’s safe to say much of the original chart was speculation. I mean, Papi got with like 100 chicks in one day. No way* those were all verified.
*unless I’ve been doing something wrong
I don’t know, I feel like this one will move from Gal Pals to Gal Pall in record time.
Thank you for this art Stef.
If they do smooch in their free time, I’m just happy for Delevingne that the homophobic bs she got for dating Rodriquez (she talked about it in some interview, how it had surprised her) didn’t scare her from dating another lady. Go Cara! And go this other beautiful person I do not recognize!
I didn’t know who Annie Clark was, so I googled her, and this article was the first thing that popped up. You done good.
CARRIE BROWNSTEIN AND TAYLOR SCHILLING WHAT
First of all, what do they talk about? Second of all, what is Carrie Brownstein doing with the second most obnoxious character on OITNB?
I…I don’t know how to feel. Part of me is happy and the other half is sad that somehow my name isn’t Cara Delevingne.