8 Hot Lesbian Jews: On The… Fourth? Night of Hanukkah, It Was Sunday Funday

You guys it’s Hanukkah! Which is in my top five personal favorite holidays all year because my roommate is going to make sufganiyot and also, I dunno, candles are nice? Underdog stories are inspiring? Whatever. Try to cease the frenzied passage of the latkes from the plate to your mouth long enough to click and scroll and appreciate this list of our eight favorite lesbian Jews. Jewish lesbians. Jewbians.

TOP EIGHT JEWBIANS

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8. Jill from The Real L Word

Duh! Doesn’t it make you wanna pick out a wedding dress just thinking about her?

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7. Felice Schragenheim of Aimee & Jaguar

Ok fine this is a movie (and also a book), but it is based on the real life story of Lilly Wust and Felice Schragenheim, a Nazi soldier’s wife and a Jewish resistance fighter in WWII Berlin. I KNOW RIGHT. #FEELINGS. Basically Felice Schragenheim is a total badass, the end.

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6. Susan Sontag and Annie Leibovitz

Sontag was a supersmart author, literary theorist, and political activist; Leibovitz is an incredible photographer recognized worldwide for her work documenting an incredible range of human experience. Can you say power couple. Can you say JEWISH POWER COUPLE.

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5. Gertrude Stein

A hugely influential and groundbreaking woman writer, whose avant-garde thinking and art paved the way for virtually every female artist or intellectual since.

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4. Sandra Bernhard

We’ve told you before but now we’re telling you again: just watch this video of her on Letterman. Just.. just watch it. Happy Hanukkah.

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3. Carrie Brownstein

I’mma let you finish, but Sleater Kinney is the best band that doesn’t make new music but who I want to tour together again more than I want, like, world peace, of all time. Also somewhere on the internet there’s a video of her wrestling with Miranda July, which, just, like, I might die. I couldn’t find it though, so sorry.

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2. DJ Carlytron

Obvs. Riese is also Jewish, when you see God spelled as G-d on this website it is because of her, but I made the gametime decision that CEOs and Editor-In-Chiefs are not eligible. HAPPY HANUKKAH GUYS.

and… drum roll pls…

ILENE CHAIKEN!!!!!

Just kidding, it’s obvs

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1. Julie Goldman

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HAPPY HANUKKAH MOTHERFUCKERS. I hope someone makes you sufganiyot.

SCOTT BROWN:

Scott Brown, who is a Massachusetts senator and also a Republican and also creepy and weird, has announced that he’ll agree to a DADT repeal. IF HE CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN. John McCain, write that down.

LADY LAWYER:

Speaking of creepy and weird, the District Attorney of Wisconsin was fired for “sexting,” and his replacement is A Lady. SCORE ONE FOR US.

TIPPING:

Are you concerned about how best to convert your insufferable holiday cheer into kindness towards service employees? Luckily Lifehacker has tips on How To Tip Properly During The Holidays. (Hint: this is v. relevant to Rachel’s interests!)

LADY GAGA DAY:

In celebration of her wax statue at Madame Tussaud’s, December 9th is being declared International Lady Gaga Day. Celebrate it by wearing multiple wigs throughout the day, loudly demanding of passersby if they think you’re sexy while wearing a leotard, eating someone’s heart/having your heart eaten, being fucking awesome.

BISEXUAL GERMAN:

German football player Nadine Angerer has come out as bisexual, and also as the person with the coolest last name on the entire German women’s soccer team. WAY TO GO NADINE.

DADT:

Justin Elzie was the first person to be discharged under DADT; seventeen years later, he thinks we’re close to seeing the end of the policy. “”I know it is going to happen now. It is going to be repealed. It is just a matter of when,” said Elzie, who recently chained himself to the White House fence in protest at the policy’s continued existence.”

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Rachel

Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1141 articles for us.

30 Comments

  1. FYI guys, Susan Sontag has been dead for years so referring to her in the present is a bit difficult…

    Also, Justin Elzie, not Justine. I spent a lot of time with him when he was writing his book and is an AMAZING guy.

    • “Sontag was a supersmart author, literary theorist, and political activist”…

      “was” denotes past, no? Am i very confused re: my grammar rules?

  2. Hey, of all the lists I’ve been left out of, this is one I cannot abide!
    xo

    the JEWBIAN behind Anyone But Me.

  3. Nadine Angerer hasn’t been out before? I just read an interview with her in a newspaper I subscribe to, and really, it seemed like a sidenote, like it wasn’t a big deal, just the most natural thing for her.
    She is just so, so cool.
    Also, I really don’t like Mario Gomez, but the fact that he said he would like gay soccer players to come out? great, especially if it’s straight [allies] soccer players for our national team who make it clear that they are not homophobic in any way. =)
    yay my country!

    p.s.: our gay secretary of state? not the best publicity for Germany. =(

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  5. Jewish lesbians are truly the chosenest people!

    OMFG, also: Lizzy the Lezzy. She has a video where she goes around interviewing hot Jewish girls in Tel Aviv, for reals. It is amazing.

    Every time I meet someone from Israel they’re like, “You should come to Tel Aviv! It is full of Jewish lesbians!” and I’m all, “Yesssssssssssss” before I realize my Hebrew is limited to “shalom” and New York and Toronto are also full of Jewish lesbians. But one day I have to visit Tel Aviv, anyway.

  6. I just spilled whisky all over my laptop at the end, fully recovered at Julie’s pic, so thank you. It was a nice break from homework, that my friends are doing, I’m just drinking :)

  7. This is the best Chanukah gift ever. I made sufganiyot at my restaurant in a very non jewish city. It was awesome. Chag Same’ach

  8. Wait a second. There is really a video of Carrie Brownstein wrestling Miranda July? Really? My new mission in life has just become finding this video.

    • It’s a video that they released as a reward to people who donated to Obama’s campaign – see here. I will give up my Nancy Drew title to you if you find it, because I couldn’t.

      (also, Rachel, I like the excerpt)

      • I have been digging around for awhile and still cannot find it. But I will keep trying. I always did kind of have a thing for Nancy Drew…

      • I wonder if they could support a queer fundraising campaign with this video as a reward again? It sounds pretty timeless in its appeal.

  9. On the weekend I went to the Annie Leibovitz ‘A Photographer’s Life: 1990 – 2005’ exhibition in Sydney and there were many photos documenting Annie and Susan’s life together and they were extremely beautiful. That is all.

  10. INTERNATIONAL LADY GAGA DAY IS ON MY BIRTHDAY I DON’T EVEN WHAT THE OH MY FUCKING HOLY WHAT. IS. THIS.

    Everybody better fucking celebrate.

  11. Who the fuck is “DJ Carlytron?” I’ve heard of all of these other people but not her. I also heard that she didn’t even set up her menorah yet and Hanukkah is almost over.

    Susan, you should take her slot.

    (Julie and Carrie are my #1 and #2 obvs)

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