In its third season, Heartstopper continues to be such a sweet, comforting display of queer love. And not just queer romantic love — queer platonic love and familial love, too. It’s so refreshing to have a story about young people where the queerness isn’t designated to a background character or a Very Special Episode. Most of the teens on this show are queer and/or trans, and that’s the whole point.
This season, almost everyone starts out coupled up. Charlie and Nick, obviously, but also Tao and Elle, and Tara and Darcy. Even Imogen and Sahar are paired off in a way on their trip to the beach, leaving Isaac to be paired only with his books. But of course, things aren’t all sunshine and sandcastles for these teens; there are plenty of stressors and dilemmas. Their problems are getting more mature as they start to grow up, turning 16 and 17, including, but not limited to, friendships, relationships, eating disorders and self harm, finding your identity outside of your relationship, the pressures of life, being ready (or not) for sex, and more.
For Tara and Darcy, they’re trying to navigate living together after Darcy left home to escape an abusive and homophobic mother. Darcy couldn’t be happier, but Tara feels like she could use a little space. It’s hard when you’re teenagers, because it’s not like they live in an apartment together; they’re essentially only sharing Tara’s bedroom, and it’s becoming a little much. They navigate it carefully though, and their relationship stays strong.
Darcy also goes on a bit of a gender journey throughout the series. It’s subtle, and in the background, but I think it’s lovely how it progresses. It starts with small things: Darcy not liking when strangers call the group “ladies,” giving away long abandoned dresses, and then wearing slacks with the school uniform. Seems right in line with the Darcy we’ve known the past two seasons. Then it’s a haircut that’s more masc-presenting, and eventually Darcy asks their friends to use they/them pronouns for them and toys around with the nonbinary label. It’s a slow progression over the course of the season, and their friends support them at every turn by encouraging them to be themselves, whoever that is. I also saw an interview with Darcy’s actor Kizzy Edgell, who has been on a gender journey also and now uses he/him and they/them pronouns, where they say they were consulted extensively for this arc.
Isaac also goes on a bit of a journey with being asexual and aromantic, Elle experiences microaggressions that have her seeking support in her trans art friends, and even Imogen realizes that maybe it’s not a coincidence that most of her friends are queer and that perhaps she’s been performing compulsory heterosexuality this whole time. There are so many little and big queer moments throughout this entire show, and they’re all done so thoughtfully.
The fact that there’s too much to parse out in too much detail, is exactly why I love this show. Very often on TV, a queer character will be the only one in their group of friends. Sometimes their partner will get added to the group in time, but not always. And while that’s common with people who are just coming out, in my experience, it doesn’t stay that way for long. Eventually you seek community and drift away from being the token gay in any given group. Because it can be an exhausting way to live. So it feels more realistic to me that a bunch of the queer kids in this school have found each other and created a bond. Together, they can be themselves, they can be free.
Another storyline that really resonated with me this season was Charlie’s more personal struggles. I saw parts of myself in Charlie as he struggled with an eating disorder and other mental health issues; I saw part of myself in Nick, watching someone he cares about struggle and not knowing what to do about it, wanting to help and fix it yourself, not realizing that’s too much for a teenager to take on; and I saw myself in Charlie’s sister, wanting to do anything in her power to help her little brother but not knowing how. It was a powerful story all around, and watching Charlie learn how to be gentler with himself and start to heal was really beautiful and impactful to me.
One of my favorite things about Heartstopper is how the teens are all having hard conversations. With each other, with trusted adults, with themselves. Even if some of the language is very obviously scripted by adults, these types of conversations are so important to model to teens so they can think about how to talk about these topics in their own lives. Teenagers who are struggling often don’t know how to ask for help because they don’t have words to express what’s wrong. Whether it’s Charlie talking about his eating disorder, Elle talking about her dysphoria around sex, Isaac talking about being asexual/aromantic; these are all the types of conversations that are hard to have, and also the types of feelings that are hard to be experiencing if you’ve never heard anyone else talk about them. They could be feelings that make you feel very isolated and alone if you don’t know that other people feel the same way you do, and a show like this helps spread the fact that it’s actually not weird to feel any of these things.
Of course, it’s not all Big Feelings and Hard Conversations. There’s also plenty of sweetness and cuteness that will have you smiling until your cheeks hurt. There are also some really great jokes (my personal favorite were the ones where Charlie complains about Marvel, since he is now in the hot Marvel project, Agatha All Along), endearing scenes, and all-around fun moments for the kids. There’s also a lot of the teen boys who AREN’T dating each other talking about their feelings and saying “I love you” and hugging each other and it’s just so sweet and honest and emulating a non-toxic kind of male friendship. Plus, the music is, as always, amazing. AND HAYLEY ATWELL IS IN IT. Speaking of Marvel, my darling Peggy Carter, here to be a supportive aunt to Nick.
As important as the heavier topics are, I do think that the moments where Charlie and his friends are all just having fun are my favorite. This group has an adorable gay boy and his adorable bi boyfriend, a trans girl and her boyfriend, an asexual aromantic, a non-binary person and her lesbian girlfriend, a fat bisexual, and a girl who is figuring her shit out, and they’re all laughing and dancing and having a great time together. They’re all happy. That’s the kind of representation we need — there is no shortage of queer tortured teen representation, but the happy ones? The hopeful ones? The ones who have been through shit but are not only surviving but thriving? Those are the ones that are going to change the world.
There’s a moment in this season where one of the adult gay characters, one of Charlie’s teachers, is encouraging Charlie to apply to be Head Boy for his class. He says it would mean a lot to the younger students to see someone like Charlie as Head Boy. As he says this, he sees a young version of himself sitting in the classroom, and that’s how I feel about this series. I’m looking at these happy queer teens and thinking of how much this would have meant to my younger self, how Heartstopper would have changed my whole life. Instead of being sad for her that she didn’t have that chance, I find myself elated that there are kids out there who do now.
Heartstopper season three is streaming on Netflix.
