“And Just Like That” Miranda and Che Are in Shambles

This And Just Like That recap contains spoilers for season two, episode five, “Trick or Treat.” 

I haven’t Googled myself since 2010, my second year of being a professional writer on satan’s internet. Actually, no, that’s a lie. I haven’t Googled myself and clicked on anything since 2010. Sometimes I do like to search myself to see if the Heather Hogan who voiced Ducky in The Land Before Time is still Google’s most popular Heather Hogan. (She is.) Unfortunately for Miranda Hobbes and her currently decimated life, Che Diaz does not have the same self-preservation instincts as me, so they agree to attend a live focus group feedbacking ¿Che Pasa? and it absolutely ruins their …day? …career? …life? I don’t know, man. It’s bad. Everybody likes Tony Danza but they think Che is a “bullshit version of what the nonbinary experience is,” which is what Che’s been afraid of this entire time. It’a also Lez Girls meta, like And Just Like That’s writers are lecturing us on being weird about Che Diaz. But, like, Che Diaz should have been a home run, you guys. It’s butch nonbinary Sara Ramirez. That’s on you.

Che is crushed and starts spiraling out about money and what they’re gonna do with their life and just a full-on existential crisis. Sara Ramirez is giving Callie Torres in this scene and it’s fantastic. I almost started crying just out of nostalgia. I feel so horrible for them! And for Miranda, who keeps making it worse and worse every time she says anything to try to be helpful. Which is weird because she’s talked Carrie out of ten thousand meltdowns like this in her life, but it’s also inevitable. Remember when Che got upset a couple of episodes ago and Miranda screamed, “Che, what do I do???” Miranda’s just as lost as Che is; she just doesn’t fully know it yet.

Che says they need some space from Miranda, who’s basically been living with them because of Steve and his boxing bag, rushing home to Brooklyn every morning to try to mom-love Brady into going to college. Luckily, Dr. Nya comes through with a spare room for Miranda to stay in, on account of feeding all of Andre’s stuff to some harbor sharks. It’s a good plan, there’s only so much couch a middle age back can handle — but ultimately Miranda’s going to have to remember who she is, and grab her former cisheteronormativity by the horns, and lawyer it into submission. She cannot keep living like this!

Other characters who decide they cannot keep living like this are Carrie, Seema, and Nya. And by “this,” I mean “sex-less.” These gals are hor-ny and also it’s Halloween (last episode it was the middle of summer, who knows) which somehow makes thirsty people even thirstier. I don’t know if it’s the sugar or the costumes or what, but this is a scientific fact. Charlotte and Harry are obviously throwing a costume party, despite the fact that Carrie would most certainly rather spend her fall fashion hours walking around in various scarves and cashmere coats in Central Park. She decides to split the diff and attend the party as Helen Gurley Brown, the first EIC of Cosmo. She even tucks a Cosmo magazine under her arm as a prop. (Harry and Charlotte go as Elizabeth and Phillip Jennings from The Americans, Lisa Todd Wexley goes at the Bride of Frankenstein, Dr. Nya goes as Catwoman and gives me palpitations, Seema dresses as Seema of course, and Miranda just puts a red clown nose on and goes as her own personal life.)

Carrie, Seema, and Nya decide to go cruising for men at a five-star hotel, which is not a thing I knew women did! It honestly seems kinda smart if you’re a wealthy gal in NYC looking for a one-night stand! Things go great for Nya. Things go Samantha Jones for Seema, who ends up with a man who has erectile dysfunction, and needs to use a penis pump, which doesn’t actually bother her; what bothers her is when he gets weird about her vibrator. B+ sex and she calls Carrie first thing the next morning to hash the whole thing out.

Carrie strikes out at the hotel but does end up meeting a guy who runs over her in a bike lane. It’s Charles from Younger! Perfect casting! Straight women are still so pissed about how things went down for poor rich handsome successful Charles in the final season of Younger! He plays the exact same character here, only he does apps instead of book publishing. At first Carrie thinks he’s A Poor and almost writes him a check in the urgent care she escorts him to after the bike wreck. Luckily, she spares herself that embarrassment and engages in a little bit of old school Carrie Bradshaw-style stalking, which leads her to his very wealthy guy apartment. Carrie is more turned on by money than she is by Halloween, so she tries to have herself a little fling with Charles. Unfortunately, he loves money too, more than sex, and interrupts their hookup to take a work call. Carrie decides this is not for her, but the pain of that Post-It note still lives on in her heart, so she lets Charles down by screaming out into his huge empty house that she’ll be going now, because they’re in different places in their lives, but he does seem like a nice guy, and have a good day! OKAY NO HARD FEELINGS BYE!

The only person who’s really winning this week is Rock, who gets an offer to be in a Ralph Lauren campaign. Charlotte loves this because it’s something she actually has in common with Rock! Harry loves it less because, well, he’s worried but also he’s used to being the fun parent, and this modeling thing is making Charlotte the fun parent. Wait’ll Victor Garber shows back up and offers her a job again and she decides that if her child can have a full life and work, she can too. You just wait for that, Harry!

Finally, I regret to inform you that Che Diaz said the word “curry-lingus” out loud in this episode, and if I have to live with that knowledge, you do too.