It’s almost time for the Barbie movie, so obviously it’s time for all of us to start thinking about which Barbie we relate to the most. It’s probably been a long time since you played with Barbies — or, I don’t know, maybe not; I’ve got a shelf full of Lego Spaceman sitting right beside me — so I’m here to help with a very scientific quiz. Let’s go party!
Quiz: Which Barbie Are You?
Heather Hogan
Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She’s a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.
Heather Hogan has written 1718 articles for us.
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Comments
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June 25, 2023 at 11:01 am😂 Yes, they’re from a grilled cheese place in my neighborhood! They’re honestly all surprisingly delicious!
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TtJune 25, 2023 at 11:35 am
I was also wondering, but because they sound so insanely good and luxurious, and i have never seen anything like it. I would eat all of them.
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caitrwJune 26, 2023 at 10:40 am
I also was thinking “wow, now I want a second lunch… maybe a grilled cheese with gruyere, cornichon….” To each their own!
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SJune 25, 2023 at 7:24 pm
This is a queer website, why are you here?
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caitrwJune 26, 2023 at 10:42 am
I also loved Heather’s inspired inclusion of other figurines to flesh out Barbie’s Craigslist roommate or “roommate” universe
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SAMJune 25, 2023 at 1:02 pm
“Your Barbie is… Tomboy Barbie
Ah yes, the Jo Marches of the world, destined for queerness from the first time they turn a tree branch into a sword, or pretend to be sick so they can stay home and read! Classic!”
Yes I love it!
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June 25, 2023 at 3:18 pm
Katie, hey! I don’t know all the details but I do know we’re working to bring them back!
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June 25, 2023 at 5:15 pmYay! Getting access to the full-sized crosswords was a big motivation for me to become an A+ member and I’ve been checking the crosswords page at periodic intervals hoping they were coming back, I’ve done ALL of them.
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June 25, 2023 at 7:48 pm
I will pass on this message first thing tomorrow! Thank you for being an A+ member! :)
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June 26, 2023 at 1:19 amI second this – I mostly got A+ membership for the large crosswords and A+ advice, I was learning so much about queer culture from the crosswords too :)
Of course I agree there’s bigger things going on, but just wanted to pass this on
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June 26, 2023 at 8:37 am
Sarah, thank you also for being an A+ member! I’m sending y’all’s messages along right this second!
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June 27, 2023 at 9:43 am
Yes, I love and miss the crosswords too! I’m happy to hear they’re coming back!
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June 25, 2023 at 4:50 pmTook quiz with cat on lap, got cat pal Barbie. Correct.
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ByliJune 26, 2023 at 2:05 am
I’m curious how you identify.
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June 26, 2023 at 10:19 am
Ah, so sorry the quiz did not provide the correct answer of angry, defensive closeted Barbie for you!
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June 25, 2023 at 8:10 pm
Haha, very relatable! I took the quiz right after coming home from cat-sitting, so I can do nothing but gladly accept my fate.
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June 26, 2023 at 10:26 amOnly correct answer for those grilled cheeses: ALL of them IMMEDIATELY. How dare you make me choose! Your neighborhood is blessed, Heather.
I felt seen that there was one normal-sized house as an option (how would you CLEAN the others??), but chose the castle because I’d have The Best hide and seek or sardines games in there and be on the roof all the time!!
I got Boss Barbie – “As the one true Queen (Latifah) once said: Bosses sometimes have to stand alone, because bosses always stand for what they believe in.”
I’d say I’m actually a Tomboy Cat Pal Boss Barbie, but close enough 😉
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Amy FixJuly 12, 2023 at 7:50 am
I got cat lesbian, I mean cat Barbie. Isn’t there a dog lesbian/Barbie? I was very pleased to be able to choose Rachel Maddow as my roomate/“roomate”/life partner. If I can’t have her irl, I will have her in quizzes!
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Comments
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June 25, 2023 at 11:01 am
😂 Yes, they’re from a grilled cheese place in my neighborhood! They’re honestly all surprisingly delicious!
-
TtJune 25, 2023 at 11:35 am
I was also wondering, but because they sound so insanely good and luxurious, and i have never seen anything like it. I would eat all of them.
-
caitrwJune 26, 2023 at 10:40 am
I also was thinking “wow, now I want a second lunch… maybe a grilled cheese with gruyere, cornichon….” To each their own!
-
-
-
SJune 25, 2023 at 7:24 pm
This is a queer website, why are you here?
-
-
-
-
-
-
caitrwJune 26, 2023 at 10:42 am
I also loved Heather’s inspired inclusion of other figurines to flesh out Barbie’s Craigslist roommate or “roommate” universe
-
-
SAMJune 25, 2023 at 1:02 pm
“Your Barbie is… Tomboy Barbie
Ah yes, the Jo Marches of the world, destined for queerness from the first time they turn a tree branch into a sword, or pretend to be sick so they can stay home and read! Classic!”
Yes I love it!
-
-
June 25, 2023 at 3:18 pm
Katie, hey! I don’t know all the details but I do know we’re working to bring them back!
-
June 25, 2023 at 5:15 pm
Yay! Getting access to the full-sized crosswords was a big motivation for me to become an A+ member and I’ve been checking the crosswords page at periodic intervals hoping they were coming back, I’ve done ALL of them.
-
June 25, 2023 at 7:48 pm
I will pass on this message first thing tomorrow! Thank you for being an A+ member! :)
-
June 26, 2023 at 1:19 am
I second this – I mostly got A+ membership for the large crosswords and A+ advice, I was learning so much about queer culture from the crosswords too :)
Of course I agree there’s bigger things going on, but just wanted to pass this on
-
June 26, 2023 at 8:37 am
Sarah, thank you also for being an A+ member! I’m sending y’all’s messages along right this second!
-
June 27, 2023 at 9:43 am
Yes, I love and miss the crosswords too! I’m happy to hear they’re coming back!
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-
-
-
-
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June 25, 2023 at 4:50 pm
Took quiz with cat on lap, got cat pal Barbie. Correct.
-
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ByliJune 26, 2023 at 2:05 am
I’m curious how you identify.
-
June 26, 2023 at 10:19 am
Ah, so sorry the quiz did not provide the correct answer of angry, defensive closeted Barbie for you!
-
-
June 25, 2023 at 8:10 pm
Haha, very relatable! I took the quiz right after coming home from cat-sitting, so I can do nothing but gladly accept my fate.
-
-
-
June 26, 2023 at 10:26 am
Only correct answer for those grilled cheeses: ALL of them IMMEDIATELY. How dare you make me choose! Your neighborhood is blessed, Heather.
I felt seen that there was one normal-sized house as an option (how would you CLEAN the others??), but chose the castle because I’d have The Best hide and seek or sardines games in there and be on the roof all the time!!
I got Boss Barbie – “As the one true Queen (Latifah) once said: Bosses sometimes have to stand alone, because bosses always stand for what they believe in.”
I’d say I’m actually a Tomboy Cat Pal Boss Barbie, but close enough 😉
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Amy FixJuly 12, 2023 at 7:50 am
I got cat lesbian, I mean cat Barbie. Isn’t there a dog lesbian/Barbie? I was very pleased to be able to choose Rachel Maddow as my roomate/“roomate”/life partner. If I can’t have her irl, I will have her in quizzes!
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